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buffyfic-digest          Friday, May 8 1998          Volume 02 : Number 171



In this issue:

       BUFFYFIC: "Alice, the Vampire Slayer" (3/5)
       BUFFYFIC: "Alice, the Vampire Slayer" (4/5)
       BUFFYFIC: "Alice, the Vampire Slayer" (5/5)

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or buffyfic-digest mailing lists and on how to retrieve back issues.

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Date: Fri, 8 May 1998 21:44:16 -0400 (EDT)
From: Betsy Vera <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Alice, the Vampire Slayer" (3/5)

"Alice, the Vampire Slayer" (3/5)

- ----------
That had been three months ago, and in that time he had tried to convince
her he was right. After several long conversations, she had agreed to do
as he asked and they had set up an after-school training schedule. She had
proven to be a fast learner. She had memorized several sections of the
Slayer Handbook in record time and was making progress in learning to read
Latin and Greek. Her skills in self defense and weapons handling were
improving remarkably. He never failed to congratulate her on her progress.

However, he had yet to take her on any vampire hunts. He should've started
her on that at least a month ago, if not sooner. but he didn't think she
was ready. Oh, she had the skills. What she lacked was confidence, and
without confidence....

Giles spent the rest of the evening with his books. For days, the signs
and portents had given warning. Something big was about to happen and he
needed to find out what, and when.

He went back to the library early the next morning, still researching. He
was only interrupted once that morning, by a faculty meeting to discuss a
dead boy found in the girls' locker room. Another sign.

Early in the afternoon, Alice and Willow came in, as usual. They shared a
free period during which Alice did her homework while Willow worked on
whatever library project Giles had for her that day. Thanks to these daily
meetings, the two girls had become friends. From his office, Giles could
overhear occasional snatches of their whispered conversations.

"I can't go. I have to tr--I have something to do this evening. Exercise
class. After school."

"That's okay, you can come after class. We were going to meet later than
usual, tonight."

"I can't, really. I'm busy."

"Are you sure? Jesse and Xander are going to go. And Xander promised to do
his world-famous Cordelia imitation."

"Really, I can't."

Giles took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Even to his ears, Alice
had sounded wistful. In an attempt to increase her self-confidence, he had
intensified her training in the past month. She had worked hard, trying to
please him, but she still didn't believe in herself. Perhaps what she
really needed was to relax with her friends and think about something
else, for a change. He sighed. It wasn't right for a young girl to spend
all her spare time training, even if she was the Slayer.

When Alice returned to the library after school that afternoon, she was
surprised to find that Giles hadn't laid out the usual weaponry and
padding. In fact, Giles didn't seem to be ready for her at all.

"You need a break, Alice. Why don't you take the rest of the day off?"

"Excuse me?"

"It's a nice day, Alice, and I'm declaring a holiday. Go...wherever it is
that young people go to have fun."

"But, I'm supposed to train, Mr. Giles."

"Not today. You have been working very hard, and it's time you had a
vacation, even if it's a short one. So, go, before I change my mind."

- -.-.-.-.-

Very early the next morning, Alice knocked on Giles' office door. "Mr.
Giles?" She had never liked to disturb him when he was reading, but her
usually tentative greeting sounded more timid than ever.

Giles, immersed in his work, didn't hear her. After several minutes, he
finally became aware that he wasn't alone. He looked up and saw Alice
sagging against the door.

He jumped to his feet. "Good heavens, Alice! What's wrong? Sit down." She
didn't seem to be too steady on her feet as he guided her gently to his
desk. "Alice?"

She took a deep breath. "It's W-W-Willow. And Jesse..." She faltered.

"Here, why don't I get you a cup of tea, then you can tell me about it."
At her shaky nod, he stood and put the kettle on the hot plate. As he
waited for the water to boil, he watched Alice. She looked pale and scared
and she was trembling. Something had scared her badly. The kettle's
whistling distracted him from his worrying.

He put the steaming cup carefully into her shaking hands. "Here, drink
this."

Alice set the cup down but didn't drink from it. Abruptly, she turned
towards Giles. "It's really real, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"Vampires. All that stuff about v-v-...vampires and Slayer and
prophecies... It's all real, isn't it? And that's why they're dead, right?
People are going to die and I'm supposed to stop it from happening,
right?"

"Dead?" No, not shy, gentle Willow... "Alice, who is dead?"

"Willow and Jesse, all right?" Suddenly, she was on her feet, shouting. "I
went to the Bronze last night and now they're dead! I'm supposed to
protect them, right? I'm supposed to be the great Slayer protecting
humanity from the evil vampires, and I can't even save my friends."

"Alice--"

"I can't do it! I'm not a superhero. I'm just a kid." She dropped back
down on the chair and burst into tears.

"Oh, Alice..." Giles only hesitated for a moment and reached out and drew
her into his arms. He let her cry for a good long while. When she had
calmed down a little, he lifted her chin so they were face to face.

"Alice," he said to her, kindly but with conviction. "I don't expect you
to be a superhero, I only expect you to be you."

"But--"

"Listen to me. You are the Slayer. You are capable, and smart, and strong.
You have trained hard, and you have studied hard. You can do this, Alice."
He paused while she thought it over. "All right?"

She nodded, unconvinced.

"Now, please tell me about last night. What happened at the Bronze?"

Alice closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Giles waited patiently.
After another deep, shaky breath, Alice reopened her eyes but didn't meet
his gaze. "Okay," she started. "I was supposed to meet Willow outside the
Bronze. I've been there with her and the guys before, and I usually get
there early, so I won't be late.

Giles smiled. That sounded like something Alice would do.

"Anyway, Willow got there really early, too, so we went inside to get a
table and wait for the guys to show up. The place was pretty packed. Then
Jesse showed up, but he was more interested in trying to talk to Cordelia
than to us, so he went to look for her. So Willow and I looked at guys."
She stopped and glanced up at him, looking slightly embarrassed. "It's
okay if I talk about guys, right? I mean, it's okay to tell you that we
talked about guys?"

Again, he smiled. "Of course. Go on."

She nodded back. "Okay. Then Jesse came back and then this guy from math
class came over and asked me to dance, and I said no. So Willow said I
should've said yes and I told her I didn't want to, and besides I don't
know how to dance. And Jesse said I was just scared. I said I wasn't
scared, and Jesse said we both were, me and Willow. So Willow said she was
not, and then Jesse dared her to dance with the next boy who asked. And
Willow said, "Fine, I'll show you I'm not afraid of boys." Just then this
guy came up and asked Willow to dance. I didn't think she'd go through
with it, but then Jesse started to smirk so Willow got mad at him."

Alice had managed to compose herself during her story. She still looked
lost, but her voice was steadier. "You should've seen the look on Jesse's
face when Willow went off to dance with that guy." She managed to chuckle
a bit. "Jesse and I watched them for a bit, then Jesse saw a girl he
hadn't seen before so he went to try to talk to her. Then Xander came in,
but then I couldn't find Willow or Jesse. We both looked for them, but no
one had seen them. So Xander walked me home. Then, this morning, Xander
called me--" Alice's voice faltered.

"It's all right, Alice. Take your time." His soft voice was reassuring.

She swallowed hard and continued. "Xander called me at home. He said
Willow's parents and Jesse's parents had phoned him because he was their
best friend and they wanted to make sure he heard the news from them and
not at school. He said their bodies had been found near the graveya--"

She was interrupted by the library door swinging open. A short, balding,
middle-aged man walked in.

"Hello? Is anyone here?"

Giles and Alice stood up, startled. Giles smiled at her, reassuringly, and
went out to meet the principal. "Yes? Principal Flutie?"

"Ah, Mr. Giles, there you are. There's going to be a faculty meeting today
at noon about the two students who died last night. Attendance by *all*
faculty is required." He suddenly noticed Alice standing behind Giles. He
turned to her. "Do I know you? Are you a student here?"

Alice blinked at him and tried to hide further behind Giles. Giles came to
her rescue. "Yes, this is Miss Peterson. She was just telling me about
Miss Rosenberg and Mr.--"

In a flash, the principal was ushering Alice towards the door. "You knew
the two dead students? It's imperative that you speak to a grief counselor
right away."

"But--" She looked at Giles for assistance.

"Immediately. Before untold damage is done to your subconscious." The
principal and Alice were almost at the door before Giles could get a word
in.

"Principal Flutie? Surely you don't want the other students to see her
like this?" Giles pointed out her tear-stained face. "Perhaps, if you let
her compose herself, first? I'll make sure she goes to the counselor right
away."

Flutie considered his idea briefly. "All right. But make sure she does.
They'll be expecting her. And I expect to see you at noon at the meeting."

Giles and Alice watched him leave. A session with Principal Flutie was
like surviving a small tornado. It left one breathless and confused.

Giles waited near the library doors to give Alice some privacy as she
washed up at the small sink in his office. When she came out, looking
slightly damp but refreshed, he gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. "It'll
be all right, Alice."

She nodded, and gathered her book bag off the floor where she had dropped
it when she came in.

"Oh, Alice?" He called out to her just before she left. "Make sure you
come by in your free period. I found something in my research last night
that we need to discuss urgently."

"Sure, Mr. Giles."

Giles went to the door and watched her through the window. Despite the
hallway being crowded with students, she looked alone. Her shoulders were
more hunched over than usual, as though she were carrying the weight of
the world on them. After last night, perhaps she finally felt as if she
did.

He didn't notice when he went back to his desk and absent-mindedly drank
from Alice's untouched tea cup. He rubbed his eyes. He was very tired. He
had stayed up all night doing research, and had finally figured out what
the portents meant. The Harvest, a ritual bloodletting involving the
deaths of many mortals, was meant to free the Master--the local vampire
king--from his inter-dimensional prison. And, according to the signs--that
is, if Giles had read them properly--this Harvest was supposed to take
place tonight.

He had intended to find Alice this morning, before school, and tell her
the news, but Principal Flutie had seen to it that wouldn't happen. He
took a deep breath. His Watcher training hadn't included much about the
psychology of teenage girls, and he often felt as though he were making it
up as he went along. From his reading of the Watcher journals, he knew
that no Slayer was like the ones before, but he didn't recall any of them
being like Alice. Slayers tended towards brashness and overconfidence.
Alice had the skills and the knowledge, but if she was to succeed as a
Slayer, she had to believe, deep inside herself, that she truly was *The*
Slayer. He had yet to find a way to make her believe in herself, to awaken
that spark in her. As far as he could tell, she was merely going through
the motions, doing the training only because he asked her to and because
she didn't want to disappoint him.

Not good enough.

With a sigh, Giles returned to his work.

 ----------

BETSY VERA * [e-mail] * http://bentley.simplenet.com
Buffy Fanzines Premiering at Mediawest '98:
* An Alternate Viewpoint (members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html) *
* Sunnydale Slayers (www-personal.umich.edu/~mwynn/zine.html) * A Snack
Before Dinner * Spring Break Slayer Style/Sidekick Style *

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 8 May 1998 21:44:48 -0400 (EDT)
From: Betsy Vera <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Alice, the Vampire Slayer" (4/5)

"Alice, the Vampire Slayer' (4/5)

- ----------

As often happened when he was involved in research, Giles lost track of
time and someone had come to remind him of the compulsory faculty meeting.
Ungraciously, he attended and wasted precious time listening to Flutie's
theories and other such nonsense. Finally, the faculty was released and
Giles returned to his office.

He glanced at his watch. Alice should be in soon. As he gathered the books
he would need to show her, he heard a muffled thump coming from the
library. That would be her, dropping her book bag on the floor, as usual.
The next sound would be Xander Harris, who always walked Willow to the
library--Giles stopped in mid-step.

Not today. Willow wouldn't be coming in today. Or tomorrow. Or the next
day.... Giles sighed wearily. He was going to miss her. Her bright smile,
her eagerness to learn. She had kept him up to date on the school gossip
and yet had never shown a hint of malice. She was a happy child and wanted
all around her to be happy, too. Willow, who always had a joke or story
ready for him; who thought he was "cool." Giles smiled to himself,
remembered the overheard whispered conversation between Willow and Alice.
He sighed. Shy, sweet, Willow. And now she was dead, a victim in a war she
knew nothing about.

He stopped that train of thought. This was no time for sentimentality. If
Alice was to stop the Harvest tonight, she couldn't be distracted by
emotional Watchers. He took a deep breath and prepared himself to prepare
the Slayer.

When he came out, he saw Alice at her usual seat, her textbooks spread out
over the table. With a shock, he noticed that she was taking up only
exactly half the table. The other half had always been Willow's.

At his gasp, she turned around and looked at him. Anger. Not directed at
him, Giles was relieved to notice after a moment, but anger, nevertheless.
It was in her eyes and in the way she held herself, shoulders straight and
head held high, not her usual wallflower hunch.

"You said you found something, Mr. Giles. Is it about killing vampires?"
She sounded brusque, business-like.

"Um--yes. Yes, in a way." He came out of his shock. Until this morning, he
had never seen Alice angry. Not even miffed. He wasn't sure how to take
this. "I--I think I've found the answer to something that has been
puzzling me," he continued, thumbing through one of the books he had
brought from his office.

As he explained to her about the Harvest, she listened attentively, as
always, but, whereas she usually just nodded obediently at the end of one
of his lectures, this time she had questions. She needed to know details;
everything he knew about the Master, about the Harvest; about any
weaknesses she could use to stop him.

"Any idea where they're doing this Harvest, Mr. Giles?"

"I'm not exactly sure about that, yet. They'll want  a place with lots of
people; young people, preferably, since they have a more vibrant life
force--"

"They're going to hit the Bronze."

"Pardon?"

"The Bronze," repeated Alice, sounding very sure of herself. "It's the
only place in Sunnydale. It's always full of kids, and tonight there's no
cover." She stopped and looked up at him. "They're going to pay for what
they did to Jesse and Willow." Her eyes dared him to contradict her.

Before he could react, the bell rang. Alice gathered her things. As she
rushed out of the library, Giles called out to her. "We'll meet here
tonight, at seven."

"Don't worry. I'll be here. Bye."

Giles sat back down, still a little overwhelmed by what had just happened.
He reviewed their conversation and decided that, overall, he was pleased
with the change in Alice. She seemed to have developed a sense of purpose.
At least some good seemed to be coming out of last night's tragedy.

- -.-.-.-.-

They met that evening, as arranged. Giles had gone home after school to
freshen up. After spending the past thirty-six hours doing research at the
library, he had felt in need of a shower, a real meal, and something
softer than a desk to sleep on.

Alice was already at the library when he arrived and didn't notice him
coming in. She was punching and jabbing an imaginary opponent. Her form
was faultless, her hits unwavering.

Not wanting to interrupt, he didn't speak until she stopped to drink from
her water bottle.

"Hello, Alice."

At the sound, she whirled into an attack position, startling him into
backing up a step. She relaxed when she recognized him. "Oh, hi, Mr.
Giles, it's you. Sorry 'bout that. I got here early to practice some
more." She was breathing hard, restless, pacing the floor as she spoke.
"I'm ready for them."

"That's...good." Giles looked worriedly at her. He set his briefcase on
the counter and took out some books. "There are some things we need to go
over--"

"Now? We don't have time for that!"

He blinked at her.

She looked as surprised as he was by her outburst. "I mean...the
Bronze..." she stammered, suddenly abashed.

"Alice--"

"No." The new Alice reasserted herself. She looked up at him, defiantly,
then looked away and started stuffing her things back into her bag. "We
don't have time to go over things. The bad guys are going to show up at
the Bronze and kill everyone, remember? We have to go now! We gotta stop
them."

Giles stared at her, unsure of how to react. The detached, academic side
of his mind noticed that Alice's hands were shaking. He tried again.
"Alice--"

"No! We don't have time for talk! Willow and Jesse, remember?
All-you-can-eat at the Bronze, remember? We have to go now!" She was
pacing again, shouting, her bookbag swinging from her arm. "We have to
stop them from killing everyone! I'm the Slayer, remember? It's my job to
protect people!" She turned abruptly towards the door. "I'm going there
now."

"Alice, wait!" He grabbed at her arm and tried to stop her.

"NO!" She spun and pushed him away. Hard. Harder than she intended.

Her bookbag hit him square in the chest and knocked all the wind out of
him. He stumbled back and fell hard against a chair and sprawled
breathlessly on the floor. "Oo-oof...."

"Oh, god, Mr. Giles, are you all right?"

With an odd sense of deja vu, he found himself looking up at Alice. His
mouth opened and closed a few times, but no sound came out. He
concentrated on reminding his lungs how to breathe.

"Mr. Giles?"

In.... Out.... In....

"Mr. Giles!" She was shaking him.

Out.... In.... He gave it another try. A strangled sound came out.

"Oh, god, Mr. Giles, I'm really sorry. Are you okay? Please say
something!"

He noticed the panicked tone in her voice and tried harder to get his
voice back. He cleared his throat and tried a third time. "I'm all right."
His voice sounded reedy, but it would do.

"Are you sure you're all right?"

He checked himself quickly. Other than a few bumps and bruises where he
had hit the furniture and the floor--and the rapidly growing ache in his
chest he was doing his best to ignore--this was no worse than anything
he'd endured during one of their sparring sessions. "Um...yes. Yes, I
think so."

"I'm really sorry, Mr. Giles, I didn't mean to push you so hard, really.
Are you sure you're okay?" She helped him up and was fussing over him. If
anything, she seemed more frantic, now.

"Yes, yes. I'm fine, thanks. Alice, stop!" He grabbed at her hands.
"Alice. Please! I'm fine. All right?"

She stood stock still, staring at his hands holding hers. Her breathing
was ragged, her hands shaky, and she didn't resist when he led her back to
the table and sat her down.

He recognized the signs of shock. Alice had never felt strong emotions,
before--Alice was an unusually even-tempered girl--and today she had been
hit by some of the strongest: fear, rage, the need for revenge. They had
given her that extra edge, that sense of purpose he had wished for her
only this morning. She needed the emotions to survive as a Slayer, but she
hadn't had time to learn how to control them. He had to tread carefully,
lest the emotions take control of her, instead.

"Argh?"

He blinked, surprised. Not the sound he had planned to make. He saw her
mouth twitch a little; almost a smile. Good. Her sense of humor wasn't
gone. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Alice?"

She didn't look up.

Giles realized his mistake. He had always treated her like an equal, a
peer, both preparing to face the enemy together. But what he really wanted
to do was take her far away from here, away from this madness, to where
she could be safe. But he couldn't. Coddling was the last thing she needed
right now.

He tried another approach. He stood, walked over to the counter, and
picked up one of the books. "As I was saying, there are some things we
need to go over before we go to the Bronze." His tone was no-nonsense,
business-like. He turned his back to her and made a show of looking for
the right page.

When he turned back, she had composed herself. Her eyes were red-rimmed,
but she looked calmer, focused. He walked back to the table and continued
his explanation. "I've found out more about this Harvest. There is one
vampire in particular, the Vessel, you need to be on the look-out for."

"Vessel? What's so special about him?"

"He is...um...a middleman, of sorts. The Master uses him as a conduit.
Every time the Vessel takes the blood from a victim, the Master feeds off
that energy and grows stronger. If the Vessel isn't stopped, the Master
will become strong enough to escape into this world."

"Okay. So, how do I recognize this Vessel guy?" The determination she'd
shown that afternoon was back in her voice and her attitude.

"He'll have a mark on his forehead, like this." He pulled a sheet of paper
from his pocket and drew a three-pointed design on it as Alice leaned
forward to look over his shoulder.

She examined the drawing carefully. "Right. So, I'm looking for someone
with a Mercedes-Benz logo on his forehead. Shouldn't be hard to miss.
Anything else I need to know?"

"A Merced--" Giles looked at his design, again. "Yes. "Yes, I suppose it
does resemble a Mercedes-Benz logo, in a way. How peculiar. I wonder
how--" He noticed that Alice was looking at him, amused. "Ahem. Yes. I
suppose I can look it up later, after we get back."

She nodded. "Is that is, Mr. Giles?"

He realized he was stalling. "Yes. That's all the information I have."

"Okay." She grabbed her bag off the floor where she had dropped it and
headed for the door. "Let's go."

- ----------

BETSY VERA * [e-mail] * http://bentley.simplenet.com
Buffy Fanzines Premiering at Mediawest '98:
* An Alternate Viewpoint (members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html) *
* Sunnydale Slayers (www-personal.umich.edu/~mwynn/zine.html) * A Snack
Before Dinner * Spring Break Slayer Style/Sidekick Style *

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 8 May 1998 21:45:23 -0400 (EDT)
From: Betsy Vera <[e-mail]>
Subject: BUFFYFIC: "Alice, the Vampire Slayer" (5/5)

"Alice, the vampire Slayer" (5/5)

- ----------

As Giles pulled up in front of the Bronze, they could tell something was
wrong. The converted warehouse looked dark and empty. "Is it always this
quiet?" he asked her as they looked around.

"No, it's not. There are usually lots of kids hanging around out here.
This is weird." She sounded worried. "Do you think we're too late, Mr.
Giles?"

"Let's hope not."

"Right." She took a deep breath and went into what she had referred to in
the car as "Slayer mode." "Plan A?"

"Alice, wait." He was sending her off to battle for the first time and--he
had to admit to himself--he was afraid for her. She had the skills and the
knowledge, but sparring sessions were not like the real thing. Her fire,
her confidence in herself, were still very new. Would she know how to make
use of them properly? Would she be able to keep her emotions under
control?

"Mr. Giles?"

He realized she was waiting for his lead. He cleared his throat and pushed
his thought aside. "Plan A," he agreed. "And be careful."

She grinned. "Thanks, Mr. Giles. Just get the kids out. I'll keep the
vampires occupied." She turned and went up the fire escape ladder.

- -.-.-.-.-

The fire exit door didn't have a knob on the outside, so she broke a
nearby window and went in. It was dark inside and it took her a few
moments to get herself oriented. Something didn't feel right about the
place. She was at one end of the walkway that overlooked the dance floor.
The walkway was deserted except for the spotlight operator at the other
end. He hadn't noticed her.

Alice suddenly realized what was wrong. The place didn't *sound* right.
There should have been music, sounds of young people dancing and chatting.
Instead, she heard...whimpering...moaning? Quietly, so the guy with the
spotlight wouldn't hear her, she peeked over the railing.

"Oh God!"

Realizing she'd said that aloud, she retreated into the shadows.
Fortunately, the spotlight guy hadn't heard her. He was too intent on the
events on stage. She closed her eyes tight. She didn't want to remember
what she'd seen down there. A large, ugly man with a disfigured face had
been sucking the blood from a girl's neck, then tossed her body aside like
an old chicken bone.

*Oh god oh god oh god*

She retreated further into the corner and forced herself to calm down.

*Breathe.*

Okay. There are vampires down there. Real vampires. She had studied so
much about them, she'd forgotten she'd never seen one in the flesh, until
now. Theory and books were one thing. Real life, on the other hand....

Real life was the Vessel down there, on stage, killing people. Alice felt
a surge of...anger...power...*something.* Whatever it was that made her
the Slayer. She let the feeling take over. Inside, she was scared stiff.
Outside, she knew she had a job to do, and she was ready to do it.

Besides, she didn't want to disappoint Mr. Giles.

Without a plan in mind, she tiptoed down the stairs and made her way
backstage. All those years of "invisibility" were paying off, finally.

The Vessel was addressing the crowd. "What? No volunteers?" No one
replied.

Alice stepped onto the stage, where everyone could see her. "Hey!"

The Vessel looked up, surprised. "Who are you?"

"I'm the Slayer." She stepped closer to him. "I'm here to stop you." With
no other warning, she attacked him.

- -.-.-.-.-

Giles had surprisingly little trouble breaking open the lock of the stage
door; he pounded it with one of the large empty metal canisters piled up
outside the door. When the lock finally broke, he grabbed his satchel,
carefully stocked with crosses, stakes, and bottles of holy water, and
went inside.

It didn't take his eyes long to adjust to the dim light. There were stairs
to his right, leading up. Ahead of him, a series of curtains blocked most
of his view of the main floor but didn't prevent him from listening. Giles
heard a large number of young voices that sounded frightened and confused.
An arrogant, mocking voice addressed them.

"What? No volunteers?"

The Vessel, Giles guessed. Suddenly, the voice was interrupted.

"I'm the Slayer. I'm here to stop you."

Recognizing his cue, Giles beckoned to the first group of kids huddling
near the door. "Come on, get out. This way." He ushered them out the door.
Others noticed and followed. Soon, he was busy getting groups of dazed
young people out the door, and could only occasionally listen to the
sounds of fighting coming from out on the floor. He could only hope Alice
was doing well.

Finally, there were no more kids near the door and he had to venture past
the curtains to look for more. The curtains opened up onto a large dance
floor; a stage to one side, small tables and bar stools to the other. Iron
stairs in the back led up to a central walkway that overlooked the whole
room. A large group of young people were standing along the edges of the
dance floor, guarded by several vampires. Everyone's attention was riveted
on the stage.

Giles looked over and saw Alice holding her own in a fight against a
vampire twice her size--the Vessel, he guessed. Despite the difference in
bulk, Alice seemed to be coming out the best in that fight. Her smaller
size helped her duck under his swings and sneak in several good punches
before the vampire had a chance to avoid them. Giles couldn't help but
feel a small thrill of pride at her skill.

Suddenly, the Vessel blocked one of Alice's punches, twisted her arm
viciously, and knocked her down.

"Alice!" Giles started forward to help her when he was abruptly pulled
back by the collar and thrown face first against a wall.

- -.-.-.-.-

*Crack!*

Alice heard her arm snap where the vampire twisted it behind her back.
Before she could scream, he punched her in the head and knocked her down.

She dropped to the floor, moaning. *This is not how it's supposed to work.
I'm one of the good guys. I'm supposed to win.* She tried to get away from
him, but he was toying with her, blocking her way. *I shouldn't be on my
knees, crawling. I should be fighting back. It's what the Slayer would
do.* But she *couldn't.* She wasn't fast enough, good enough--

The Vessel, tried of playing, reached down and picked her up by her broken
arm. The pain seemed to give her new strength. He laughed at her attempts
to fight and held her tight, one arm around her waist, pinning her arms
against her side, grinding together the broken ends of her bone. His other
arm around her neck, he stood up straight, lifting her off her feet, and
squeezed.

- -.-.-.-.-

Giles was punched in the stomach and fell to his knees, all the breath
knocked out of him. As he gasped for air, Giles heard a woman's voice next
to him. "Hello, there. Are you supposed to be the hero?" He was grabbed by
the hair again and pulled up to his feet. He sagged against the wall,
unable to stay upright, and found himself facing a young-looking female
vampire incongruously dressed in a Catholic schoolgirl's uniform. "I'll
bet you're here to help the Slayer, aren't you, hero?" Giles was too
stunned and in pain to do anything but stare at her, blinking away
something warm that kept running into his eyes. Dimly, he realized he was
bleeding in several places.

Suddenly, her face lit up with delight. "Hey, I know who you are! Old guy,
hangs out with the Slayer...I bet you're her Watcher." She leaned close to
him and whispered in his ear, confidentially. "I like Watchers." To his
horror, he felt her lick his ear. "They taste sweet." Feebly, he tried to
push her away but she punched him in the stomach again. He nearly passed
out as the air was knocked out of his lungs a second time. All that kept
him conscious was the pain in his scalp as she dangled him by the hair.

Finally, she released him and he fell to his knees, gasping. She knelt
down next to him. "Well, guess what? You're too late, hero." She grabbed
him by the hair, again, and turned him around to face the stage.

The Vessel had Alice in a stranglehold. She was kicking at him and
fighting to get loose, but he laughed at her efforts and squeezed harder.
Giles watched in despair as he saw her strength failing fast. Finally,
Alice slumped in the Vessel's arms, unconscious.

The female vampire whispered in Giles' ear. "Look, Watcher, the last thing
you'll see. Your Slayer's dying, Watcher? How does it feel? How does it
feel to fail, Watcher?"

Giles watched, frozen with horror, as the male vampire pulled back Alice's
head and exposed her neck. With a triumphant cry, the Vessel bit into the
Slayer's neck and drank from her.

As in imitation of the events on stage, the female vampire pulled back
Giles' head and bit his throat. He felt the life drain out of him, slowly.
After too long a time, she withdrew her fangs and gave his throat a final
lick. "How does it feel to die, hero?" She let go of him and he slumped to
the floor, barely alive.

Alive...but aware that he was dying. He was dimly aware of sounds, noises,
confusion.

......

Someone tripped over his legs, but he didn't feel it. He heard a scream
nearby, far away.

......

A dull thud. A shape appeared next to him. He struggled to focus on it,
but failed.

......

Fade to black.

*****

"Hey, Giles? Wake up, Giles."

Giles woke up abruptly to find Buffy leaning down close to him. "Gaaaah!"
The sudden movement gave him a blinding headache.

"B-Buffy?" he sat up and groaned. Willow was tugging at the straps of his
padded helmet and she was making him dizzy.

"Giles, are you okay? I think I knocked you out."

He closed his eyes and held his head, unsuccessfully trying to block out
the pain. "What happened?"

"We were sparring, remember?"

"Oh yes. Sparring." Buffy and Willow helped him up to a chair, despite his
protestations that he would be fine.

"Are you sure you're okay, Giles? You look kinda pale. Can't have a
Watcher who's not all right, you know. 'Cause a not all right Watcher is
a...not all right Watcher."

Giles' fogged mind wasn't up to Buffy's brand of conversation at the
moment. Fortunately, Xander chose that moment to return with the snacks
and drinks and rescued him. Reassured that Giles was fine, the girls
converged on the food while Giles went to his office for aspirin.

A short while later, Buffy knocked on his door. "Giles, we're done for
today, right?"

"Hmm...?" He was sitting at his desk, head buried in his hands. He'd
almost fallen asleep.

"Giles, you look awful. What time did you go home last night?"

"Um..." He wasn't sure.

"Thought so. Tell you what. Since I get the evening off, you should get
the evening off, too. In fact, you need a vacation. At least one day. I
mean it, Giles. When was the last time you spent any time away from the
library?" She continued before he could answer. "There, see? You can't
even remember."

"Buffy--"

A voice called Buffy's name from the library.

"I gotta go, Giles. We're having Indian movie night at my place. You go
home, okay? I mean it."

Giles made her a half-hearted promise to leave soon. Not really satisfied
with his answer, but knowing it was the best she would get, she left.

He sighed. Perhaps Buffy was right. He decided to follow her advice and go
home early. But, first, he needed to write in his Watcher's journal. It
was one of his daily rituals and, in this time of uncertainty, he took
some comfort in the familiar.

As he wrote, snatches from his dream flashed through his mind. A
dark-haired girl crying in his arms...Willow dead? He removed his glasses
and rubbed his temples for a moment. He concentrated on the circular
motion of his fingertips as he tried to remember. Was it just a dream? It
had seemed so real. Unconsciously, he rubbed at his throat, at the spot
where...

He blinked. The events of the dream came rushing back to him: The Slayer,
dead on stage. "I'm not a superhero, I'm just a kid." His own death.

*How does it feel to fail, Watcher?*

He frowned. Had he?

The Slayer handbook made it clear. The Watcher was there to teach the
Slayer. Given the proper guidance and training, the Slayer would succeed.
But Buffy had taught him that it wasn't that simple. If training was all
it took, anyone could be the Slayer. What was important was the person
*inside* the Slayer. Did she have the need, the drive that told her that
being the Slayer was what she was here to do? It was the fire within that
made the Slayer unique. And to become a successful Slayer, she needed a
Watcher who could help her bring out this spirit, could help her learn to
control it and use it to her advantage.

He was very fortunate to have Buffy as his Slayer.

Under his watch, she had blossomed and matured, both as a person and a
Slayer. She had come so far since their first day together when, angry and
bitter, she had declared that she was retiring as the Slayer. They were
going through a bad spot, right now, but they'd get through it together.
Despite their differences in age, background, and temperament, Buffy and
he made a good team.

*How does it feel to fail, Watcher?*

He didn't know. With Buffy's help, perhaps he never would.


END

 ----------

BETSY VERA * [e-mail] * http://bentley.simplenet.com
Buffy Fanzines Premiering at Mediawest '98:
* An Alternate Viewpoint (members.tripod.com/~natmerc/avzine.html) *
* Sunnydale Slayers (www-personal.umich.edu/~mwynn/zine.html) * A Snack
Before Dinner * Spring Break Slayer Style/Sidekick Style *

------------------------------

End of buffyfic-digest V2 #171
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