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arfic-l-digest        Tuesday, February 6 2001        Volume 01 : Number 002




----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Wed, 31 Jan 2001 19:02:56 -0500
From: "Michele Bumbarger" <[e-mail]>
Subject: (arfic-l) FIC: Worlds Away (Part 10b/??)

Title: Worlds Away (Part 10b/??)

Author: M. Bumbarger

Email: [e-mail]

Fandom: New Series Tomorrow People

Rating: PG-13/TV-14

Summary: The Tomorrow People are swept away to a different world,
where they must take up the lives of their alter-egos and try to find
their way home . . . which won't be easy.

Dedication: To everyone who is enjoying this madness and encouraged me
to keep on writing.

Disclaimer: The Tomorrow People (Adam Newman, Ami Jackson, Megabyte
Damon, and Jade Weston) are the property of Roger Damon Price, Thames
Television, ITV, Tetra Television and Nickelodeon. They are used here
without permission, but not for profit. The lands, countries, customs,
deities, and original characters are mine and mine only, springing
from the depths
of my imagination and should not be used anywhere else without my
permission. Please do not repost this to any list or archive it
anywhere else without my express permission.

Previous parts at http://www.alternate-realities.net/worldsaway

*****

Chapter Ten (continued)

King Martine looked up and smiled in welcome as Adam
entered the private dining room of his parent's apartments.
King Martine and Queen Carrina had an entire wing of the
Palace to themselves, and there were days when they did not
emerge from that wing. A small study, private library,
private kitchens and private dining room gave the king and
queen an opportunity to escape from the world around them
from time to time.

"Frivolous perhaps," the King had remarked once in passing,
"But it does keep us sane."

Today, the king, his father, raised his goblet. "Ah, Adam,
you are here."

Adam closed the doors behind him, purposely ignoring the
way Tara lifted up from one of the sofas and stuck her
tongue out at him. It was a game they played -- making
faces at one another to see whom would be caught first or
who laughed the quickest. "Sorry, I'm late. I was --"

"Caught up in battle practice with Stewart," the king
nodded, "We've heard. Stewart was quite informative."

"And I was watching from the balcony," Tara announced. "And
you nearly got hacked."

"Tara!" Queen Carrina, beautiful and golden, leaned over
and cuffed the girl lightly on the back of the head. "I'm
going to have to have a word with Halista about your past
times and your language."

Tara sulked, but was wise enough to not argue with her
mother.

Adam fished for an explanation and then chose to tell the
truth. "I was --"

"Distracted?" The king volunteered.

"Yes," Adam nodded sheepishly.

"Distraction is inevitable, Adam. You must learn to call
upon the Sword and filter these things out. Distraction is-
- -"

"Understandable under the circumstances," Queen Carrina cut
in. She floated to Adam's side, with the grace of a cat,
slipping her arm through his. "He is getting married,
Martine. He's allowed a bit of distraction."

"I wasn't distracted before my wedding."

"No, you were too concerned with your prized mare going
into foal to be distracted by something as plain and simple
as your betrothed." A smile covered her face and laughter
shone in her eyes as she said the words.

"You were never plain, Carrina." The emotion in King
Martine's eyes made Adam suddenly wish that he were
elsewhere.

To distance himself from the personal moment that the king
and queen shared with simple eye contact, Adam focused on
Tara. He crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue, which
promptly sent the princess into a fit of giggles.

"Oh you two," the queen's attention returned to her
children and she shook her head. "Come, let's eat before
the food is cold. And we can discuss the preparations of
the royal apartments for the new groom and bride--"

"Women's talk," King Martine grunted, slapping a muscular
arm around Adam's shoulder and wresting him from the queen.
"You save those words for Lady Margot. In the meantime,
Adam and I shall discuss the wedding hunt -- I think you
will very much like what I have planned . . ."

With an apologetic smile to the woman who could have been
his mother, Adam allowed himself to be led away. He would
enjoy this why it lasted, the one thing he never had --
family.

*** End of Chapter Ten


********
Michele B.
Author, Archivist & Webmistress
a l t e r n a t e REALITIES Fan Fiction Archive
http://www.alternate-realities.net
********


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 To unsubscribe to arfic-l, send an email to "[e-mail]"
 with "unsubscribe arfic-l" in the body of the message.
 For information on digests or retrieving files and old messages send
 "help" to the same address.  Do not use quotes in your message.

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 4 Feb 2001 09:01:15 -0800 (PST)
From: Worlds Away <[e-mail]>
Subject: (arfic-l) FIC: Worlds Away (11/??)

Title: Worlds Away (Part 11/??)

Author: M. Bumbarger

Email: [e-mail]

Fandom: New Series Tomorrow People

Rating: PG-13/TV-14

Summary: The Tomorrow People are swept away to a
different world, where they must take up the lives of
their alter-egos and try to find their way home . . .
which won't be easy.

Dedication: To everyone who is enjoying this madness
and encouraged me to keep on writing.

Disclaimer: The Tomorrow People (Adam Newman, Ami
Jackson, Megabyte Damon, and Jade Weston) are the
property of Roger Damon Price, Thames Television, ITV,
Tetra Television and Nickelodeon. They are used here
without permission, but not for profit. The lands,
countries, customs, deities, and original characters
are mine and mine only, springing from the depths
of my imagination and should not be used anywhere else
without my permission. Please do not repost this to
any list or archive it anywhere else without my
express permission.

Previous parts at
http://www.alternate-realities.net/worldsaway

*****

Chapter Eleven - Reflection

Albarasque was beautiful at sunset. Or rather, the
capital, Di'alsol was breath-taking and magnificent.
The entire capital city sprawled out around them, the
center star of a desert oasis, and it was one of the
most beautiful sites Ami had ever seen. During the
day, an opalescent sheen covered the city; a shifting
and changing rainbow-hued fire that blazed beneath the
stones. And during sunset, the effect was even more
spectacular. Every building, every rooftop, caught the
red and orange hues and painted themselves with them,
covering themselves in multi-colored cloaks.

Standing on the balcony, watching the sunset, had
become one of her most favorite pastimes since her
strange and still unexplained arrival in this world
nearly two weeks earlier. This habit of hers was the
one thing that was a constant in a world that she did
not understand and yet found herself becoming more and
more comfortable with each passing day. She stood
here, every night, and drank in the beauty of nature
while replaying the day's events in her head. During
this time, her quiet time when Nynie left her to her
own devices and even Sephrine did not bustle and
flutter about in the background, she tired to make
sense of it all; she tried to find some clue or some
hint to how she had gotten here -- and how she would
ever get home again.

Of course, most nights, nothing came to her. And this
night was no exception.

Ami knew no more of how and why she was here tonight
than she did any other night. What she did know was
that with each passing day, this place became less and
less strange to her. The halls of the Sun Palace were
now nearly as familiar to her as the streets of
London; the language of Albarasque sounded as common
as English.

But the familiarity came slowly; the first few days
had been an adventure to say the least.

First had been the great undertaking of the veils.
Until her third day here, when she, Nynie and Sephrine
had ventured beyond the walls of the Sun Palace and
into the city proper, Ami detested the very idea that
she would be made to hide her face, "for modesty's
sake." Her opinion changed very quickly however when
she realized the veils actually served a practical use
- - in a desert kingdom like Albarasque, the veils were
a wonderful armor against the windblown sand. Perhaps
that was why the women continued to wear them, and the
custom remained strong even though in her first few
days it became very clear to Ami that this was a
matriarchal society.

Although Ami would admit to enjoying the protection
the veil offered -- trying to understand the different
types of veils -- was quite the undertaking when she
was supposed to already be in possession of said
knowledge. There were three types of veils -- four if
one included the suldan, or the headscarf which
covered the hair completely. The first was the kita,
or the partial veil, usually made of lightweight lace
dyed dark that wrapped around the head and draped the
shoulders, covering only the nose and mouth. The
second, the kitara, was made of the same material as
the kita -- sometimes it was the kita -- only it
covered the entire face, but was light enough that
someone standing close to a woman could make out her
general features.  The fourth, the shoufa, was the
most formal -- and thankfully, the least worn -- of
all the veils. The shoufa was a heavy brocade lace,
sometimes woven with silk and other materials, and
draped over the entire head and shoulders, usually
falling to the ankles; always dark in color, it could
not be seen through and was quite stifling.  The
shoufa was reserved for young, unmarried women,
priestesses, and important formal occasions such as
funerals and worship services.

One minute in the shoufa had been fifty-nine seconds
too long for Ami - and it had quickly made her
decision that she would avoid leaving the grounds at
all if it meant suffering in the shoufa for hours on
end. At least within the Sun Palace, she could wear
only the kita; although Nynie and Sephrine seemed to
prefer the kitara any time when they were not alone in
chambers. And in the privacy of her chambers -- and
within the inner chambers, Ami was permitted to wear
only the suldan.

Of course, standing on the balcony where anyone could
catch sight of her meant the kitara, but that was a
minor inconvenience. Anything to avoid the shoufa.

Veils aside, that had not been the only source of her
adventures. The second had been the meeting of her
parents -- and for the first time in a very long time,
Ami actually missed her mother. For the first time
since she could remember, Ami actually wished that the
woman who was the reigning sovereign of Albarasque had
been more like Sharon Jackson. Yes, her mother was
overprotective and overbearing at times, but Ami
understood that her mother's action came from love and
fear. The Damia Reina, the woman who was her mother
here -- or at least Amideira's mother -- was more of a
stranger to her than the servants in the Sun Palace.

The Damia Reina -- Ami found it hard to call her
"Mother," although it was the title that the woman
preferred -- was a leader and queen in every sense of
the world. She held herself with a regal poise and
grace that Ami truly envied; but she also held her
family -- which included her husband, the Regent, Ami,
and Amideira's brother, Prince Calend'et -- at arm's
length. Ami had seen no love when she looked into the
Damia Reina's eyes; heard no love when the woman said
her name.

That hurt in ways Ami didn't even want to begin to
consider.

It didn't matter that her father was kind and loving,
or that her grandmother let it be known in no
uncertain terms that she cherished her grandchildren,
the rejection by her mother -- correction, Amideira's
mother -- hurt. The woman had shown little interest in
her daughter, or the report that Amideira -- never
Ami, always Amideira -- had taken ill. And she
discussed the upcoming wedding with boredom and
disinterest; more than disinterest really, reproach
was more like it. The Damia Reina wished to have
nothing to do with this wedding and clearly considered
her part in it, which entailed leaving the country for
nearly three months, a colossal waste of time.

It didn't help matters any that Prince Calend'et
echoed his mother's sentiments and had spent the
entire meal attempting to bait Ami and coerce her into
an argument. The prince, with all of the knowledge and
wisdom of his seventeen years, was more than happy to
repeatedly enlighten his 'sister' on the barbaric
practices of the Stibornians, and to remind her of how
unhappy he was certain she would be away from the Sun
Palace.

Ami required no great leaps in logic to discern that
Amideira and Calend'et did not share the most loving
of sibling relationships. Particularly when it was
apparent that he looked forward to her leaving and to
her marriage - with Amideira married and living in
Stiborn, Calend'et would rule as regent until such
time as Amideira provided a daughter to heir the
throne -- or Calend'et procured a bride that gave him
the same.

A race to throne for two siblings, but not by clawing
at one another's backs. No, this race was a race for
children, a race for an heir. The Damiar Princess had
a leg up in the race -- after all, she would be
married soon -- but that didn't guarantee an heir.
Particularly if her husband did not appeal to her --
if he was all those things that the Stibornians were
rumored to be.

Instinctively, Ami's hand rose to clutch the pendant
at her throat. It was a thing of beauty, perfectly
shaped and molded. Each time she touched it or looked
at it, it gave her some small measure of peace. If she
was to remain here -- playing a role that she had not
chosen and pretending to be someone that she wasn't --
then it gave her some small comfort to think that the
man who could fashion such a gift was not a rude,
self-centered animal. A gift like this spoke of a soul
and of depth; it spoke of passion and --

Ami snorted, dropping the pendant. Two weeks here and
she was beginning to sound every bit the hopeless
romantic that Sephrine was.

Worse than that, she was beginning to *accept* her
fate.

That couldn't be tolerated.

Action was what she needed; action was what she took
refuge in when she began to feel herself slip into the
casual acceptance of circumstance. In this case,
action took the form of quiet introspection followed
by a gentle tapping into the soft flows of elemental
power that surrounded them. Amideira was supposed to
be a High Mage, and Ami figured that it was only a
matter of time before she would be expected to put
some of that talent to use.

But first, she had to tap into it.

The first time, she had been nervous. Ami didn't know
anything about magic here -- it's rules or anything
else. She questioned Sephrine as covertly as she could
and then set about testing the waters that night in
her bed. The results had been surprising -- she had
felt something burning inside of her, coursing through
her. Raw and untamed, trying to mold her to its whim
while she tried to grasp what it was; pure power like
nothing she had ever encountered. Pure power that
eventually won out against her -- Ami awoke the next
morning to a splitting headache, mild burns on her
hands, and a thirst that she thought could never be
quenched.

If she had wondered if she shared Amideira's ability
to use magic, she wondered no longer.

She also wisely knew that to continue her
'experiments' unchecked would be very stupid and very
dangerous.

Slowly, and with more covert skill than Ami knew she
possessed, she wheedled some basic exercises out of
Sephrine. Those basic exercises were now what she
practiced quietly at night, alone in her room. And so
far, since that first night, Ami had done nothing more
than blow out her candles by accident - she couldn't
even light a fire of her own accord.

But the night was young, and there were still two
weeks before she set sail for Stiborn. Several days
that she would be at sea. There was time to learn
everything that she possibly could - just in case
magic turned out to be the only way she could get out
of this place.

***End of Chapter Eleven


=====
*********************************************
Worlds Away
http://www.alternate-realities.net/worldsaway
*********************************************

__________________________________________________
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------------------------------

Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 23:28:01 -0500 (EST)
From: Ailie McFarland <[e-mail]>
Subject: (arfic-l) Hi! And Fic  1/3

Hey everybody! I just stumbled across this list while I was looking for a b=
eta reader for my Highlander/Angel crossover ... but that's another story. =
Anyway, I'm happy to be here, and I thought the best way to intro myself wo=
uld be to send a story. I write mostly Buffy fic (Willow/Oz mushy stuff. I'=
m a romantic at heart), but this is an Angel fic. So Hi! And let me know wh=
at you think!


TITLE: Take These Broken Wings 1/3
AUTHOR: Ailie McFarland
E-MAIL: [e-mail]
RATING: PG-13 (For suicide theme)
SERIES: Angel
DISTRIBUTION: Alternate realities and anyone who asks. (If it helps at all =
I'm gonna say Yes!)
FEEDBACK: Hello, you've reached Ailie's ego. I'm not in right now, but if y=
ou'd leave me a message about my story I'd greatly appriciate it!
DISCLAIMER: Angel, Cordy and Wesley are property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Ene=
my, FOX, the WB ... basically everybody who's not me.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Shannon is losely based on the experiences I've had in deali=
ng with an anxiety disorder. Writing this was some sort of therapy in a wei=
rd way ....


Chapter 1=20


"Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless," said Cordelia Chase as she pi=
cked up the phone.=20

"Uh, yes," answered a man with a British accent. "Cordelia, I believe you m=
ay have been working too much as of late."=20

"What are you talking about, Wesley?" answered Cordelia a split second befo=
re she realized that she had answered her home phone with her usual diatrib=
e from work. "Great. You see? I've been telling you guys I need a vacation!=
 What if that had been someone important?"=20

"I'm sure you would have handled the situation with your usual grace and co=
mposure." Wesley couldn't help smiling to himself as he pictured the look h=
e knew was on Cordelia's face. "I was just calling to see if you'd be able =
to =85"

"Stop by the library for you on the way to work?"

"Well, yes actually. How did you know?"

"Gee, let me think." Cordelia's tone was condescending. "Ever since you sta=
rted translating the scroll that said Angel would become human you've neede=
d all sorts of weird reference books, and the only time you call me at eigh=
t in the morning is when you're too lazy to come down here to the library a=
nd pick them up yourself." She sighed. "How many?"

"Only three this time. They should have them ready behind the circulation d=
esk." He paused. "If it is too much of an inconvenience I could pick them u=
p myself =85"=20

Cordelia was taken aback by the hurt tone in Wesley's voice. "No, no. I'm s=
orry. Remember the 'new me' I told you about after I got out of the hospita=
l? Well she doesn't get out of bed until I've had my morning coffee." Wesle=
y laughed at that, which made Cordelia feel a little less like a wretch. "T=
he two of us will see you in an hour."=20

Cordelia hung up the phone, but couldn't quite find the energy to pull hers=
elf off the couch. Sighing, she closed her eyes and leaned her head back on=
 the couch. She and Wesley had spent the better part of the night disposing=
 of the demon Angel had killed in the sewers earlier that day. As much as C=
ordelia enjoyed helping people, it didn't quite make up for the lack of sle=
ep =85 or the fact that her favorite sneakers now smelled like a compost he=
ap. The sound of the newscaster announcing the time roused her from her hal=
f-doze, and when she opened her eyes she found a cup of coffee floating in =
front of her.=20

"Thanks Dennis," she mumbled as she took her first sip. "Just the way I lik=
e it. You're getting pretty good at this." Most people would have felt stra=
nge about holding up a one-way conversation, but for Cordelia it seemed to =
come naturally. She chatted with the ghost as she finished her breakfast an=
d got ready for work. Then, after taking one last look in the mirror to che=
ck her hair, she ran out the door. "Bye Dennis!" she called as he closed an=
d locked the door behind her.

* * * * *=20

Wesley Windham Price stood and stretched, his back full of the kinks that c=
ome from perpetually hunching over books and paperwork. With the exception =
of last night's demon, things had been relatively slow for the past few wee=
ks, which had given him the chance to concentrate on translating the scroll=
 Angel had retrieved from Wolfram and Hart. After two weeks of solid resear=
ch, Wesley was beginning to miss the action and excitement of demon hunting=
.=20

"Good morning, Wesley," said Cordelia as she blew threw the door, dropping =
three heavy tomes on the desk. "How come you never need books that are in p=
aperback? These things are heavy!"=20

For a moment the Englishman was at a loss for words. Cordelia was dressed i=
n her usual style; a short khaki skirt with a light blue tank top, dark cur=
ly hair hanging loosely past her shoulders. Just beautiful. Noticing Cordel=
ia's expectant look, he shook himself from his thoughts and replied, "Think=
 of it this way, you've gotten your exercise for the day."=20

"I think I got enough exercise last night to last me for the rest of the we=
ek!" Cordelia rubbed her sore shoulder and smiled. "So, is Angel planning o=
n joining us today?"=20

As if on cue, the door from Angel's office opened. "Morning," he mumbled as=
 he made a beeline for the coffee.=20

"I guess you can't expect a vampire to be a morning person," Cordelia whisp=
ered. Wesley suppressed a giggle.=20

Angel took a sip and turned. "Did you say something?"=20

Cordelia opened her mouth to reply, but instead let out a low moan. "Cordel=
ia!" Angel rushed to the girl's side and caught her just as her knees began=
 to buckle.=20

Cordelia's mind was bombarded by images. A girl, about her age. Red hair, g=
reen eyes, pale skin. Cowering in a dark corner, knees to her chest, rockin=
g and sobbing. Then standing on a ledge, a dark shadow of a face leering be=
hind her as she stepped into nothingness.=20

When she opened her eyes she found herself sitting on the floor, Angel and =
Wesley kneeling beside her. Cordelia blinked to clear her vision, then moti=
oned for Angel to help her to her feet. "We have work to do."=20


Chapter 2=20


"Java Enabled" was your typical cyber-coffee house, if there is such a thin=
g. The lower level was wall-to-wall computers, generally occupied by single=
 men slightly less than middle-aged and slightly more than average weight. =
They would stay all night if they could, playing "Doom," "Half-life," and o=
ther shoot-em up games where the goal seems to be to cause as much carnage =
as possible. Luckily the owner of this particular establishment had shown w=
isdom enough to require the use of headphones, so the only noises from the =
game-players were grunts of satisfaction and the occasional obscenity.=20

The upstairs was decorated in a completely different style from the sparse =
economy of the computer lab. Mismatched chairs and couches were grouped aro=
und tables of all shapes and sizes. In one corner a young couple cuddled on=
 a love seat, more interested in each other than finishing their mochchinos=
. A center table was occupied by two older gentlemen enjoying the "bottomle=
ss cup" special while pondering over a game of chess. And in a darkened cor=
ner Angel, Wesley and Cordelia browsed through a menu.=20

"My goodness," exclaimed Wesley. "Is it possible just to get an ordinary cu=
p of coffee here?"=20

Cordelia smiled. "Not in LA. Here it's all gourmet coffee. That's French fo=
r saying you gotta pay $3.95 a cup."=20

"Can I help you?" Angel looked up into the face of a young waitress. Her fi=
ery hair was pulled away from her face in a long, simple braid, from which =
various curly pieces seemed determined to escape. A warm smile greeted her =
customers, but Angel could see that there was some hidden pain in her emera=
ld eyes.=20

"Yes, Shannon," he said, reading the name tag pinned to her apron. "I'll ju=
st have a coffee. Black."=20

"Same for me," echoed Wesley.=20

Cordelia sighed. "These boys don't know what real coffee is. I'll take a ta=
ll caramel machiato."=20

Shannon smiled again and retrieved the menus from the table, then moved bri=
skly away to deliver them to the newest group of customers.=20

"That the girl?" questioned Angel in a low voice.=20

Cordelia nodded. "So, how do you want to go about this?"=20

"I'm not exactly sure. For now, lets just sit and watch. Maybe she'll give =
us an opening."=20

"To do what? Say 'Hey, my friend here had a vision of you throwing yourself=
 off a building?' Somehow I don't think that would go over too well."=20

Cordelia was interrupted by the return of the waitress with two steaming mu=
gs of coffee. "Sorry ma'am, you're drink might be another minute or two." S=
he offered a small smile in apology. "We've got a new bar monkey tonight, a=
nd he hasn't quite gotten the hang of the equipment yet."

"Bar monkey?" Wesley was confused.=20

"Sorry. That's what we call the guys that run the espresso machine." Shanno=
n pointed to a young man with purple spiked hair who was attempting to clea=
n coffee grinds out of a small filter.=20

"Aah, I see."=20

Shannon turned to tend to another table. "If you need anything else, just h=
oller." When she was out of earshot Wesley turned to Cordelia. "Are you sur=
e you saw her take her own life? She doesn't exactly seem the type."=20

"There is no type for this sort of thing," Angel spoke up. "Every person re=
aches their breaking point at some time in their lives. The question is, wh=
at would push this girl over the edge?"=20

Cordelia thought for a moment. "I did see a face. It wasn't very clear, but=
 it was laughing as she jumped. And it definitely didn't push her, at least=
 not physically."=20

"So it seems we may be dealing with some form of possession then?"=20

Wesley shook his head. "I don't think so. Not if the face Cordelia saw was =
outside of the body."=20

"But their definitely is something supernatural at work here," said Angel. =
"After all, the powers that be don't usually interfere in the lives of mort=
als unless something of that nature is upsetting the balance of things."=20

The three friends discussed the possibilities in hushed tones as they watch=
ed Shannon go about her work. A few minutes later she returned with Cordeli=
a's mug and a pot of coffee. "Anyone need a refill?" Wesley nodded, and as =
the girl leaned over the table Angel noticed a slight tremor in her hand.=
=20

"Are you alright?" he asked, gesturing toward the hand that held the coffee=
 pot.=20

Shannon was startled that he had noticed, and the mask of a smile that she =
wore fell for an instant, revealing behind it a look of complete terror. As=
 quickly as the moment came it was gone. Shannon collected herself and the =
mask went back up. "I'm fine. Just been a long day. Either that or too much=
 free coffee."=20

"Are you sure? I'm actually in the business of helping people." Angel stumb=
led over the words. Fighting demons and preventing an apocalypse was cake c=
ompared to trying to explain exactly what he did for people. The only thing=
 he hated more was talking about money.=20

"What, like a social worker or something? I mean, I don't make a lot of mon=
ey here, but it's enough to get by =85"=20

Angel shook his head. "No, no. It's just =85 well, you look like you might =
be having some problems. Maybe we could help."=20

The mask dropped again. "No, you can't." Shannon was silent for a moment, t=
hen shook herself and plastered on another smile. "Look, I have other custo=
mers I need to see. If you'll excuse me."

"Wait!" Cordelia spoke up. She fished through her purse and came up with a =
business card. "Here. If you change your mind, or just need to talk, give u=
s a call."=20

Shannon took the card with some trepidation, then shoved it into the pocket=
 of her apron without even looking at it. "Thanks," she mumbled as she move=
d on to her next table.=20

"Well that went well," offered Wesley. "Surveillance duty tonight, I take i=
t?"=20

Angel nodded. "I want you two to go back to the office. Start going through=
 old coroner's files and see if you can find any connections between suicid=
e victims over the last few months." His brow furrowed as he watched Shanno=
n scurry from table to table. "I want to make sure she doesn't join them.=
=20


Chapter 3=20


Shannon MacLeod shivered as she walked down the street. Anyone watching her=
 would have assumed the poor girl was freezing, which was highly unlikely a=
s it was a typical muggy summer night. Still, she shivered.=20

Shannon wrapped her arms closer to her chest in an effort to stop the tremo=
rs. No luck. Her mind was focused on one thing - getting home. She told her=
self that once she was there she would be safe. There would be nothing to f=
ear, and her shakes would go away. Her rational mind knew better.=20

The shakes never went away anymore.=20

Flyaway strands of hair fell into her face, but she didn't care. "One, two,=
 three." Her eyes were cast down to her feet so she could count her footste=
ps. She'd do anything these days just to feel normal, to feel sane. But wat=
ching your feet instead of where they're taking you can be a dangerous thin=
g in LA.=20

"Hey lady! Watch where you're going!" Shannon had almost run headlong into =
someone, a businessman from the nature of his attire. He took one look at t=
he girl's darting eyes, hunched over position, and shaking arms and decided=
 to give her a wide berth. Deep in the recesses of Shannon's mind she found=
 it funny that anyone would think she was an addict, but that thought was c=
ompletely buried by so many others. By the doubts, the fears, the worries =
=85 by the Voice.=20

Home. Her feet had carried her there without much conscious direction on he=
r part. Shaking hands struggled to free keys from the pocket of her jeans. =
Once the front door was opened she tore up the stairs to her apartment, as =
if she by pure speed she could leave everything outside the building and fi=
nd some peace. Panting and shaking so violently she was practically convuls=
ing she slammed the door home and threw the deadbolt before crumbling into =
hysterical sobbing on the floor.=20

From a distance Angel watched, and wondered.=20

* * * * *

"There's defiantly something strange going on." Angel deposited his coat on=
 a chair and began to pace.=20

Wesley looked up from the computer screen. "Something strange? I do believe=
 that's our usual motis oporandi."=20

"Well, there's nothing strange here." Cordelia closed a manila file folder =
and added it to the top of a growing stack on the floor. "Plenty of suicide=
s, but no real changes in the number of them or the methods they use." She =
sighed. "I would just like to let everyone know that going through these fi=
les is just about the most depressing thing I've ever done in my life."=20

"Lucky you," Angel said, and then realized his mistake. "I meant that you'r=
e lucky you're not one of the chronically depressed. That you have never fo=
und yourself at the end of your rope and decided to make a noose with it."=
=20

An uncomfortable silence followed. Finally Wesley spoke up. "You're not try=
ing to tell us that you're =85"=20

"Me? No. Not now anyway." Angel sighed and lowered himself into a chair. "T=
here were times, though, after I was cursed. There were so many times I wan=
ted to end it all, but I couldn't do it."=20

"Were you afraid?" Cordelia asked softly.=20

Angel shook his head. "No. I felt I needed to suffer, to atone for my sins.=
 And by taking my own life that suffering would have ended. Life was the wo=
rst torture I could think of, so I lived." He stared off into space, lost i=
n his past. Cordelia wondered if he was thinking of his vampire days or the=
 days that followed, and then decided she didn't want to know.=20

"So," she said. "Did you learn anything that might point us in the right di=
rection?"=20

Angels sighed, relieved to be able to focus on someone other than himself. =
"Not really. I do know where she lives though, which might help eventually.=
 Other than that, all I could tell is that she's really scared of something=
."=20

"Or someone," added Wesley.=20

That comment, meant to be helpful, only reminded Angel of the time when he =
was the one the people had feared. The times when Angelus had prowled the n=
ight, searching and killing. Without a word he stood, walked into his offic=
e, and closed the door quickly and hard enough to let the others know he di=
dn't want to be disturbed.=20

"Wow. Even broodier than usual," commented Cordelia. "Should we do somethin=
g?"=20

"The best thing we can do for him is to help this girl." He motioned to the=
 piles of paper strewn across the room, and they began their search again.=
=20

* * * * *

Evening found Angel back at "Java Enabled." He wasn't exactly sure what he =
hoped to accomplish. In fact, he didn't even know if Shannon was working th=
at night. All he knew was that at the moment he felt completely powerless, =
and sitting around the office dwelling on his past wasn't going to help.=20

As luck would have it, Shannon was there. She was halfway through her "Welc=
ome to 'Java Enabled'" speech when she recognized him.=20

"Same as last night?" she said, hoping he wouldn't notice the slight tremor=
 in her voice. Angel nodded, and she disappeared around the corner. A momen=
t later she appeared with a fresh pot of coffee and a mug. "Look. We're pre=
tty busy tonight, so if you don't need anything else I'll just let you do y=
our own refills." She began to turn around when she felt a hand brush hers.=
=20

"I know there's something wrong."=20

Shannon backed away. "I already told you. There's nothing you can do. Just =
leave me alone."=20

Angel stood. He knew all eyes in the restaurant were on him, but nothing ma=
ttered now more than this girl's life. "I know how you feel, Shannon. I've =
been there. I've stood on that cliff and contemplated the jump." There were=
 tears welling up in Shannon's green eyes, but Angel couldn't stop now. "I =
know you feel like there's no way out, but there is. Someone once pulled me=
 back from that edge once. Please, let me help you!"=20

Shannon turned to run, but tripped over a chair in the process. She scrambl=
ed to her feet and half-ran half-crawled her way to the kitchen. Angel foun=
d her curled up in a corner, shaking violently and rocking back and forth. =
"Shannon =85"=20

"Don't touch me!" The girl's startled scream brought both the cook and the =
bar monkey down on Angel's back. Freeing himself without seriously injuring=
 either man took some effort, and by the time he made it to the sidewalk ou=
tside Shannon was long gone.=20


To be continued ...

***************
Ailie McFarland
***************

WILLOW: Well, I like you. You're nice and you're funny. And you
don't smoke. Yeah, okay, werewolf, but that's not all the time. I
mean, three days out of the month I'm not much fun to be around either.
OZ: You are quite the human.
WILLOW: So I'd still, if you'd still.
OZ: I'd still. I'd *very* still.

OZ: Would it help you if I panic?
WILLOW: Yes, it'd be swell. Panic is a thing people can share in
times of crisis, and everything's really scary now, you know, and I
don't know what's going to happen and there is all sorts of things
you're supposed to get to do after high school and I was really
looking forward to doing them and now we're probably just going to
die and I'd like to feel you maybe you would ... (Oz shuts her up
with a kiss) What are you doing?
OZ: Panicing.

WILLOW: Oz...don't you love me?
OZ: My whole life, I've never loved anything else.


- -
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 "help" to the same address.  Do not use quotes in your message.

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 6 Feb 2001 23:46:08 -0500 (EST)
From: Ailie McFarland <[e-mail]>
Subject: (arfic-l) Hi! and Fic 2/3

TITLE: Take These Broken Wings 2/3
AUTHOR: Ailie McFarland
E-MAIL: [e-mail]
RATING: PG-13 (For suicide theme)
SERIES: Angel
DISTRIBUTION: Alternate realities and anyone who asks. (If it helps at all =
I'm gonna say Yes!)
FEEDBACK: Hello, you've reached Ailie's ego. I'm not in right now, but if y=
ou'd leave me a
message about my story I'd greatly appriciate it!

DISCLAIMER: Angel, Cordy and Wesley are property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Ene=
my, FOX, the WB
... basically everybody who's not me.


Chapter 4=20


Angel sighed. The conversation at the coffee shop had not gone exactly acco=
rding to plan. In fact, it was about as far from his plan as you could get!=
 He knew there was something he could do, that he was supposed to do =85 th=
e Powers that Be wouldn't bother warning him unless this was the case. But =
at the moment he was completely at a loss. How do you help someone who does=
n't want to be helped?=20

A quiet rap on the car window startled Angel from his thoughts. He opened t=
he door and greeted Cordelia with a nod. "Glad you're here," he said quietl=
y. "Sun's coming up soon."=20

A few months ago Cordelia would have made a comment about needing her beaut=
y sleep, but today she just offered a small, sad smile. "Any change?"=20

Angel looked to the apartment building and shook his head. "No. The lights =
were on all night, but I haven't seen any movement in the window. You're su=
re this isn't the building you saw her jump off of?"=20

"Yes," she answered. "The building in the vision was much taller."=20

"Good. Then as long as she doesn't leave the apartment she'll be safe." He =
handed his cell phone to her. "Call me if anything happens."=20

Cordelia settled herself into Angel's car for what she expected would be qu=
ite a long day. Angel took one last look toward Shannon's window, then disa=
ppeared into the sewer.=20

* * * * *

"This is useless!" Angel slammed the book closed and lowered his head into =
his hands.=20

Concerned, Wesley walked over to the vampire, and after a moment's consider=
ation placed a hand on his shoulder. "For now there's nothing we can do but=
 research. We will find something."=20

"We're not going to find anything in time this way," Angel mumbled into the=
 desk as he ran his fingers through his hair. "There are too many unanswere=
d questions. I have to figure out a way to get her to talk to me. But after=
 the scene I caused last night, I don't think there's a chance of that."=20

Wesley thought for a moment. "Perhaps we should let Cordelia make contact w=
ith the girl. After all, she is more likely to talk with another female tha=
n with a strange man."=20

"Good point. But how? Cordelia says she hasn't left her apartment all day, =
so she obviously isn't going to go to work. Will she really answer the door=
 if Cordy goes up there?"=20

"We'll never know unless we try." Wesley was about to continue when the pho=
ne rang. Since Angel made no move to answer it, the former watcher did. "An=
gel Investigations. We hope you're helpless =85 I mean =85 blast it! I'm so=
rry, I don't usually answer the phone. Can I help you?" There was a pause. =
"Yes, of course. Right away."=20

"Who was that?" asked Angel as Wesley set the phone back on the hook.=20

"Shannon," he said with some surprise. "She wants to see you at her apartme=
nt as soon as possible.=20


Chapter 5=20


The door opened a crack in response to Angel's knock. "Hi," he said softly =
to the single green eye that was peering through the crack. The door closed=
, and Angel could hear the sound of a chain lock being undone. Ever so slow=
ly, it swung open again.=20

Angel hoped Shannon didn't notice his surprise at her appearance. She seeme=
d to have aged years in the twenty-four hours since he had last seen her. H=
er eyes darted nervously between Angel's face and the floor. Underneath wer=
e dark circles that betrayed several nights of sleeplessness; they must hav=
e been covered with make-up the day before. Long tendrils of red, tangled h=
air fell across her face, swinging back and forth in front of her eyes as h=
er entire body trembled.=20

Angel's first impulse was to wrap the poor girl into his arms, but an invis=
ible barrier still stood between them. "Is it okay if I come in?" Shannon n=
odded, and Angel stepped over the threshold.=20

She cleared her throat. "Please, sit. Would you like some tea?" There was a=
 small quaver in her voice, but she attempted to smile as Angel found a sea=
t.=20

The apartment was small and sparsely furnished, but very homey. A small cou=
ch that folded out into a bed at night was pushed against one wall, facing =
not the TV but across the room to a large picture window instead. Scattered=
 around the room were various objects that betrayed Shannon's true calling.=
 A violin case and music stand in one corner, an electric keyboard in anoth=
er. Scattered across the coffee table were various manuscripts of violin wo=
rks. Bach, Bruch, Mendelssohn =85 names Angel hadn't heard in a long time. =
The far wall was completely covered with shelves of books and cds, all of w=
hich were classical, Angel rightly assumed.=20

Shannon entered the room with two steaming mugs and sat in the small chair =
that served as a piano bench.=20

"So," said Angel as he held the mug in his cold hands. "Are you a violinist=
?"=20

Shannon's face grew even more drawn. "I used to be."=20

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ..."=20

"No, it was a reasonable question." She paused. "It's just hard to explain =
without starting at the beginning." Angel said nothing, just waited for her=
 to continue.=20

"I've played the violin all my life, or at least as long as I can remember.=
 For some reason I started begging my parents for one when I was barely abl=
e to talk." Shannon smiled and for the first time Angel saw a light behind =
her green eyes. "They thought it was something I would forget the next day,=
 but after two years of pleading I finally started lessons. To make a long =
story short, after college I ended landing a job in a small orchestra here =
in LA. It was a few months after I moved that I noticed something was wrong=
."=20

"During rehearsal one day, my hands started to shake. I thought it was hung=
er, or lack of sleep, or something, but it didn't go away. Then the whole r=
oom started to spin. I couldn't breathe. My heart was pounding so hard I wa=
s sure I would have a heart attack and die right there on stage. The whole =
experience shook me up pretty badly, but I didn't want to lose my job, so I=
 stayed. But it happened the next week, and the week after that. Each time =
the attacks got stronger, and the time between them shortened. Eventually i=
t started to affect my playing, and I took an indefinite leave of absence."=
=20

"That was almost two years ago."=20

"The doctor's call it 'Panic Attack Disorder.' Basically all my body goes i=
nto a fear reaction for no reason. It's terrible. You feel like you're abou=
t to die. Even though there's that little part of your brain that knows it'=
s an illness, the rest of your brain just goes nuts, and you can't listen t=
o that rational side. It's a completely physical illness; a brain chemical =
imbalance that's treatable with medication but not curable. But I've tried =
every medication that's out there, and none of them seem to work for me."=
=20

"I got a job at the cyber-caf=E9 to make ends meet. Half the people there a=
re stoned or so involved in their games that they don't really notice me, w=
hich is fine. But the attacks are coming so frequently now that I don't thi=
nk I'll even be able to hold down that job."=20

Until now, Shannon had managed to stay calm while telling her story. Angel =
figured this was due to detachment on her part. It was almost as if she was=
 talking about someone else. At this point, the tears began. "I can't play =
anymore. I haven't touched my instrument in 6 months. My hands shake so bad=
ly I can't keep my bow in a straight line. And there are these voices in my=
 head. They say I'm a failure, that I can't do anything right, and whenever=
 I try to play they just get louder!"=20

Angel couldn't stand it anymore. He moved from the couch to kneel beside Sh=
annon, and he held the girl in his arms as she wept.=20

* * * * *

"Thanks for letting me stay with you, Cordelia."=20

After much discussion, it was decided that it wasn't safe for Shannon to be=
 alone. Cordelia was always happy to share her spacious apartment, and had =
earlier warned Dennis sternly not to upset their guest. "She already feels =
like she's going crazy. Seeing things fly across the room isn't going to he=
lp!"=20

Cordelia smiled. "It's no trouble. Why don't you take my room? I can sleep =
on the sofa-bed." Shannon started to protest, but Cordelia cut her off. "No=
t gonna take no for an answer."=20

"She's not usually this gracious. I'd take her up on the offer."=20

Angel's comment drew a dirty look from Cordelia. "You're still mad about th=
at whole 'peanut butter in your bed' thing, aren't you?" She laughed at the=
 puzzled look on Shannon's face. "Oh, it's not what you think. I just neede=
d a place to crash one night. Apparently I made a little mess."=20

"Little? There was a huge glop in the middle of my pillow!"=20

The argument was interrupted by something quite unexpected; Shannon laughin=
g. "I can't thank you both enough. It's been a long time since I've felt th=
is =85 safe."=20

"That's why we're here," Angel said softly. "Now, get some sleep. We'll tal=
k more in the morning."=20

"Talk about what? I mean, I'm still not sure what you plan on doing for me.=
"=20

"Well, if medication isn't working, it must not be a medical problem. We ne=
ed to figure out what's causing this."=20

Shannon was confused by Angel's somewhat cryptic remark, and was about to s=
tart questioning him when Cordelia took her by the hand. "Plenty of time fo=
r that tomorrow. For now, sleep." She turned down the covers.=20

Despite the fact that her mind was full of questions, Shannon was half asle=
ep as soon as her head touched the pillow. As she slipped into unconsciousn=
ess, she thought she felt a phantom presence tucking her in for the night.=
=20


Chapter 6=20


Shannon slowly stretched and opened her eyes. Light from the bedroom window=
 spilled across the floor. Something about this situation was odd, but it t=
ook Shannon's sleep-muddled brain a moment to figure out what it was =85 sh=
e hadn't slept through the night in over a year. Cold sweats and shakes usu=
ally woke her at least once during the night, if she managed to sleep at al=
l.=20

She closed her eyes again for a moment, enjoying that wonderful feeling tha=
t always accompanies sleeping until your body wakes itself up. When she ope=
ned them again she noticed a mug sitting on the bed stand. Coffee, still ho=
t. Cordelia must have gotten up already. Shannon experienced her second unu=
sual sensation for the day; her facial muscles formed a genuine smile. It h=
ad been a long time since anyone had bothered to do something like this for=
 her.=20

Shannon padded into the hallway. After taking a sip of coffee, she decided =
to head to the kitchen to find some milk.=20

* * * * *

Cordelia was cold. Freezing, actually. She shivered and tried to pull the c=
overs up to her shoulders, only to discover that they had been completely p=
ulled off the couch. Before she had a chance to wonder what kind of violent=
 dream she had during the night, the couch started to shake.=20

"Dennis, this is not funny!" She retrieved the pile of covers from the floo=
r and attempted to climb back onto the couch when it started spinning in ci=
rcles. "Stop it! I'm going back to bed." The couch continued to spin, and f=
inally tipped over.=20

Cordelia felt a presence behind her, and suddenly she was being pushed towa=
rds the kitchen. She dropped the blankets in a heap. "Dennis, what's going =
on? You're scaring me!" Then she saw what Dennis had seen.=20

Shannon was lying on the floor in front of the open refrigerator. Coffee fr=
om a broken mug pooled around her convulsing body. "Oh God!" Cordelia acros=
s the room and knelt down to cradle the girl's head on her lap.=20

"Dennis! Bring me the phone!" Cordelia started to dial 911.=20

"No hospital," Shannon gasped. "They can't =85 do anything but =85 sedate m=
e =85 just stay." It took great effort to form coherent sentences. She refo=
cused her energy on regaining control of her body.=20

After a moment's thought, Cordelia dialed the number for Angel Investigatio=
ns.=20

* * * * *

By the time Angel and Wesley arrived, the worst of the attack was over. Sha=
nnon was still trembling, but her heart was beginning to return to normal a=
nd Cordelia had managed to help her to the couch. Wesley offered a smile of=
 greeting and then joined Cordelia in the kitchen. Angel's brow furrowed in=
 concern as he took a seat.=20

"How are you doing?" he asked quietly.=20

Shannon sighed. "As well as can be expected." Her tremors grew more violent=
. Angel leapt to his feet, but she shook her head and closed her eyes. A fe=
w seconds later the spasms returned to a normal level. "Sad that I think of=
 this as normal," she thought.=20

"Are they usually this bad?"=20

"Not until a few weeks ago. I went back to the doctor, but of course they c=
ouldn't do anything." Cordelia entered the room, with Wesley following clos=
e behind. He offered a cup of chamomile tea, which Shannon gratefully accep=
ted. The weight of the heavy ceramic mug helped to steady her hands a littl=
e, and the warmth was comforting.=20

After a moment of silence, she spoke again. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have ca=
lled you yesterday. I don't know what I thought you could do."=20

Cordelia sat down and wrapped a protective arm around Shannon's frail frame=
. "We'll find a way to help you."=20

"How? I've been to all the doctors already."=20

"We specialize in =85 unique situations," said Wesley.=20

Shannon gave Angel a questioning look. He took a deep breath. "Well, there =
are times when conventional methods can't solve a person's problems. We lik=
e to take an alternative approach."=20

"What, like aromatherapy or something?" Shannon was growing more and more c=
onfused.=20

Wesley smiled. "Not exactly."=20

"All I can really say right now is that your problem isn't strictly medical=
." Angel sighed. "But we're working hard to find out what's causing this. C=
an you live with that for now?" Shannon nodded.=20

"I guess that's our cue to hit the books." Cordelia playfully punched Wesle=
y in the arm. "Come on, bookman."=20

Angel looked to Shannon. "I don't want to leave you alone. Are you up to tr=
aveling? It's not very far to our office."=20

"I think so." Shannon started to stand up, but vertigo forced her back to t=
he couch. When she was sure she wasn't going to be sick, she opened her eye=
s and saw Angel extend a hand to help. When her hand was in his she was sur=
prised by the coolness of his skin, and the ease with which he supported he=
r weight.=20

"Wesley and Cordelia will get you back to the car. I'll meet you at the off=
ice. I need to =85" his mind spun as he looked for an excuse. He couldn't w=
alk Shannon back to the car without bursting into flames.=20

Cordelia was quick on her feet. "Stop by the library. It's right down the s=
treet. Wesley's been doing some research, and one of the book's he needs sh=
ould be in today.=20

Angel sighed in relief as Shannon nodded and Wesley took his place under he=
r arm. "I owe you one," he mumbled to Cordelia under his breath.=20

"Actually, you owe me three, but who's counting?" she flashed a movie star =
smile, slipped her sunglasses onto her nose and headed out the door.=20

Angel waited until the car pulled around the corner, then made a dash for t=
he sewer entrance near the apartment.


Chapter 7=20


Music drew Angel down from his office. Shannon was sitting in the middle of=
 the floor with her eyes closed, swaying ever so slightly. From the speaker=
s came the voice of a solo violin.=20

A minor chord echoed between the walls, and Angel closed his eyes in the sh=
eer beauty of it. As a young man his tastes for music ran towards tunes tha=
t could be danced to and songs with dirty lyrics. Growing older, after his =
transformation, his tastes changed as well. Many a night Angelus would snea=
k into the concert halls to create the proper mood for the evening's festiv=
ities. The dark and devilish tunes of Paganini always made the blood boil i=
n his veins, and often a stagehand or two would feel his deadly kiss before=
 the piece had ended.=20

But this was not Paganini. These sad and sensuous strains could only be the=
 work of Johann Sebastian Bach.=20

Shannon seemed to feed off the music. Angel could almost swear he saw her g=
rowing in strength and presence as she absorbed the sounds around her. Afte=
r a moment's observation, he also noticed that the fingers of her left hand=
 were making small movements, as if playing an imaginary violin on her lap.=
=20

As the final E octave dissolved into nothingness Angel gave a polite little=
 cough, so as not to startle to poor girl with his unexpected presence.=20

Shannon opened her eyes. "Angel? Oh, I'm sorry. Did I turn the volume up to=
o high?"=20

"No. Not at all." He had trouble finding the words. "Sonata in A minor?"=20

She nodded. "The 'Grave.' You know music?"=20

"A little. I don't have the chance to listen much these days."=20

"Perlman is the violinist. He's my hero. When I think of all he had to over=
come in his life ... the polio left him barely able to walk, and now he is =
one of the greatest musicians who ever lived! And his playing has such soul=
." Tears began to well up in her deep green eyes.=20

Angel sat across from the girl. "His playing has soul because of his life, =
and all the experiences in it. Believe me, I've heard the prodigies, the on=
e's who don't know anything but music, they're robots." He extended a hand =
to touch hers. "You will play again, and be the better for all this. I prom=
ise."=20

"I hope so," came the soft reply. "Bach is like that, you know. The 'Grave'=
 is in minor, which everyone assumes means sad. And it is, but it's also wo=
nderful. It rips your heart out with the pure emotion of it, the sadness an=
d the beauty together like that."=20

Angel was about to reply when he heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs=
. Cordelia was standing there. "Wesley needs to see you, Angel."=20

* * * * *

"I think I may have a lead," said the Englishman as Angel approached the de=
sk. Wesley flipped through one of the many leather-bound books and pointed =
to an entry. "This volume makes reference to the suicide of a watcher. From=
 the diaries left behind, the council determined he had been killed by a Cu=
ra demon."=20

"Killed?" said Cordelia. "But I thought you said he killed himself."=20

"Cura demons are in interesting lot. They feed off human emotions, but do n=
ot physically inhabit the host. Instead they trail them, follow them like a=
 shadow for years. Cura's are telepaths, and have the ability to influence =
the mind. So the demon creates horrible images in the mind of the victim =
=85"=20

"And feeds off the fear." The pieces were beginning to click together for A=
ngel. "So these past two years she's been followed by a demon. Why is it ge=
tting worse now?"=20

Wesley sighed. "Cura's don't have to kill their prey to feed, but after a f=
ew years they tend to get bored. Driving a person to harm themselves is a f=
orm of entertainment."=20

"Why couldn't they get cable like everybody else?" Cordelia frowned. "Okay,=
 so now we know what the big bad is. How do we stop it?"=20

"That's slightly more complicated. The story of the watcher mentions a spel=
l for warding off the demon, but doesn't include the text. This is going to=
 take more research." Wesley would have continued, but a voice from behind =
caught him off guard.=20

"Well then you better show us what to look for," announced Shannon from the=
 doorway.=20

* * * * *

"Are you sure you shouldn't be resting?" Angel was concerned. Wesley and Co=
rdelia were used to these all-night research sessions, but Shannon was not,=
 and was also not in the best of health. Besides, the revelations this nigh=
t had wrought were probably a great shock to her system.=20

"I'm not going to be able to sleep anyway. I feel better doing something." =
She turned a few more pages then stopped, and looked to Angel. "This is rea=
lly real, right?"=20

He smiled. "Unfortunately."=20

Shannon laughed quietly. "When you said you helped people in 'unusual circu=
mstances' I thought a lot of things, but I never thought this. I mean, how =
does one get into this line of work anyway?"=20

Angel thought for a moment. "Cordy and Wesley, they're just good people. Th=
ey see the danger and they want to help. I have =85 my own reasons." Shanno=
n looked concerned at this. "Let's just say that I haven't always led the b=
est life. I need to give something back."=20

"I see." Shannon stood at the point of indecision for a moment, unsure as t=
o whether she should push any further. "I don't =85 I don't suppose that ha=
s anything to do with the jars in your refrigerator?" She hurried on before=
 Angel had a chance to interrupt. "I mean, I wasn't snooping or anything. I=
 needed water to take my meds, not that they do any good, and they were jus=
t there. I was coming up to ask when I walked in on the whole demon deal. P=
retty much explained things for me."=20

"I won't ... I won't hurt you, you know," Angel managed to stammer.=20

"I know. I won't say I'm entirely comfortable with all this, but I think I =
understand. Either that, or I've finally gone off the deep end. C'mon," she=
 said, resting a hand on the stack of books between them. "Let's find out h=
ow to kill this thing."=20


To be continued ...

***************
Ailie McFarland
***************

WILLOW: Well, I like you. You're nice and you're funny. And you
don't smoke. Yeah, okay, werewolf, but that's not all the time. I
mean, three days out of the month I'm not much fun to be around either.
OZ: You are quite the human.
WILLOW: So I'd still, if you'd still.
OZ: I'd still. I'd *very* still.

OZ: Would it help you if I panic?
WILLOW: Yes, it'd be swell. Panic is a thing people can share in
times of crisis, and everything's really scary now, you know, and I
don't know what's going to happen and there is all sorts of things
you're supposed to get to do after high school and I was really
looking forward to doing them and now we're probably just going to
die and I'd like to feel you maybe you would ... (Oz shuts her up
with a kiss) What are you doing?
OZ: Panicing.

WILLOW: Oz...don't you love me?
OZ: My whole life, I've never loved anything else.


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