It is possible to regain the spontaneity and much of the freedom that existed before AIDS by practicing safe sex techniques until they become automatic. People mourning the loss of spontaneity which results from having to think and act carefully at first, should remember this fact. It is also good to remember that while we think we are spontaneous, many of us are in a rut. Many people have sex at the same time of day or night, using the same activities, taking the same positions, making the same sounds, and using the same sexual toys and products. Thus, instead of feeling a loss of spontaneity many of us are experiencing loss of familiar behavior and reluctance to changing familiar patterns.
In our practices and workshops we come across many people who have overcome such initial reactions, made significant changes in their sex lives and are once more enjoying their sexuality. Many report their lifestyles are much more satisfying than before the Age of AIDS. There is a central theme which runs through the experience of such people:
