There is so frequently a discrepancy between what they are told is happening and what is actually going on that children of alcoholics are not sure of what they see, what they hear, and what they feel. In other words, they don’t believe their own perceptions.
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Betty is one of those young women who won’t trust anyone to be there to catch them if they trip. “I haven’t told my husband about my miscarriage,” she confides. “I don’t want to upset him.” By keeping quiet and choosing to suffer alone with the loss, she has effectively created a gap between herself and the person who should be sharing her sadness. Patterns of dishonesty and withholding information automatically destroy intimacy so that chances of true emotional closeness become slim.
Betty had learned early from her alcoholic mother that anger, joy, love, fear, and all other feelings had to go unacknowledged. So how was she going to talk openly to her husband?
