linuxmafia.com 2016/linuxmafia.com.tar/linuxmafia.com/pub/skeptic/files-to-classify/cooper.txt

Internet Message Format | 1996-02-19 | 30KB

From: [e-mail]
Subject:      Re:      YACC (Yet Another Cockamamie Conspiracy)
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Date:         Fri, 2 Apr 1993 23:28:37 EST

Since William Cooper's turned up as a topic of discussion-- and since I've
never been that bashful about sharing my sterling verbiage with an
appreciative and _literate_ audience such as your good selves-- here's the
column I did about the subject.

Hangin' with Zontar at the Grassy Knoll, or,
Greyz N the Hood
                          (From <The Humanist>)

                            by Brian Siano

     <Hath not an alien eyes? Much in the  likenesses of children found>
<on black  velvet? Hath not  an alien hands, vestigal  organs, multiple>
<dimensions,  senses,  and  passions?  Do  we  not  look  like  praying>
<mantises? If you prick  us, do we not bleed purple  dripping ichor? If>
<you  wrong us,  shall we  not abduct  you?. . . I  demand my  pound of>
<flesh, a few  unfertilized eggs and semen samples, and  maybe a couple>
<of heifers from Colorado to pass the time.>

                           Ignatz Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venus"

     Aliens have  to put up with  a lot of  prejudice. Even UFOlogists
call  them "the Greys"  because of their skin  color-- they don't even
<try> to use  the more politically  correct "Ashen-Americans." I'm  sure
you've  heard the  stereotypes before;  <All> aliens  abduct people  for
medical experiments. <All> cattle mutilations  are done by aliens. Those
Greys  are <taking  over> our  country with  their  superior technology.
Their  spacecraft are  smaller, faster,  and more  fuel-efficient than
ours. The  Greys are  crafty, sinister,  telepathic, inscrutable,  and
they all look alike. The Greys want our <women.> The Greys use the blood
of Christian babies to make matzoh bread, hide subliminal messgaes  on
Metallica albums,  eat  dogs and  cats,  and  secretly run  the  world
through the Rothschild banks.
     But  the situation has gotten  so bad that  UFOlogist Wendelle C.
Stevens (USAF  ret.) recently  felt the need  to write an  article for
<International  UFO  Library  Magazine>  titled, "All  'Greys'  Are  Not
Reticulans."  It seems that  ". . . most  of the 'greys'  are actually
coming from someplace  else and are  not Reticulans at  all. The  true
Reticulans are being erroneously blamed for  the misdeeds of all those
others, some of whom seem to be involved in the ET genetic experiments
now being reported more and more."
     Stevens complains that when Budd Hopkins  was assembling his book
<Intruders>, he  was "pre-selecting"  cases where Grey-like  aliens were
involved. Turns  out that  all of  the visiting types  of aliens  were
performing  these experiments, but  the Greys from  Zeta 1  and Zeta 2
Reticuli-- the  ones  contacting Bill  Herrmann  of Charleston,  South
Carolina, at least-- were NOT.

     Now, if this strikes you as splitting hairs (although it could be
important to the apparently-snobbish Zeta Reticulans), you can imagine
just how many  UFO-contact theories are zooming  around out there.  So
let's take a  look in the UFO Coverup  Conspiracy and Wish-Fulfillment
Paranoia pool.  I stuck a  toe in that  pool, and walked  away feeling
like I'd been dunked into a vat of sewage effluents. This metaphorical
pool  is  stagnant, fetid,  murky, and  chock  full of  grotty bottom-
feeders scrounging  amongst themselves for  a tasty bit  of phlegm. So
we'll have to be content  with culturing a sample  or two of the  most
<outr> growths-- but  let's make sure we  keep the things in  the glove
box, and store them at Absolute Zero.

<"Well it had been 987 years in outer space time when I got back,>
<Couldn't seem to find any of my friends to tell my interesting stories>
<to">
                                -- The B-52's, "Is That You, Mo-Dean?"

     Twenty-five  years ago, UFOlogists  speculated as to  whether the
government really did take UFOs seriously, and might be concealing its
real  and substantial interest. These days,  most UFO coverup theories
<begin>  with the  crashed-saucer-recovery  story in  William Moore  and
Charles Berlitz's 1980  book <The  Roswell Incident>.  According to  the
authors, the government recovered saucer wreckage and four bodies from
a crash at  Roswell, New Mexico, and they've been  keeping it a secret
since 1947.  The authors'  previous books  do not inspire  confidence.
Berlitz wrote a  discredited study on the Bermuda  Triangle, and Moore
was previously known for his book <The Philadelphia Experiment>.
     And  between three  books on  the subject, there's  not a  lot of
agreement. There  was either one  crash with four bodies  (Moore), one
crash  with  three  bodies  and one  survivor  (Kevin  Randle  and Don
Schmitt, <UFO Crash at Roswell>),  or <two> crashes, 150 miles apart,  one
with  four bodies  and the  other with  three bodies and  one survivor
(Stanton Friedman and Don Berliner, <Crash at Corona>, to be published).
Given the  above confusion,  it's not  surprising that  photos of  the
collected  debris are  claimed to  be the  'actual' debris  in Moore's
book, and <faked> wreckage in  Randle's. Problem is, the debris pictured
looks like a kite made of tinfoil.
     Now,  let's add the further confusion  of the MJ-12 papers. (This
is pretty condensed, so follow this carefully.) In 1987, William Moore
received what  appeared  to be  Top Secret  papers  that outlined  the
formation of a high-level commission  called Majestic-12, to study the
recovered wreckage from <one>  crash in 1947. The papers,  if authentic,
would have been  the 'smoking gun' supporting  accounts of a  crashed-
saucer cover-up.  UFO  debunker  Philip  Klass  turned  up  a  lot  of
anomalies in the documents-- for example, a  signature of Harry Truman
was <exactly> like another, authentic Truman signature, and showed signs
of apparent Xerox-doctoring. Friedman has endorsed their authenticity,
even  though  they  mention  only  <one>  crash-- conflicting  with  his
compromise two-crash scenario.  Moore, on  the other  hand, threw  the
whole fire-and-boat drill into  a tizzy when he announced  at the 1989

Mutual UFO Network (MUFON) conference that he'd served as a government
misinformation   agent,  feeding  false   data  to  other  UFOlogists.
Currently,  the various  crashed-saucer camps  are calling  each other
names in a three-way standoff. And they don't like Phil Klass  a whole
lot, either.
     Remember,  this  is  the  <less>  extravagant  end  of UFO  coverup
theories. These are the <serious> researchers whose  books are published
by  major  companies, who  get  substantial grants  from  UFO research
organizations, and who are featured speakers at UFO conferences. These
are  the  <respectable>  UFO  coverup  researchers.  Just  keep  telling
yourself that.

<"While cruising through the ionosphere, I saw these alien beings.>
<Everywhere I went up there, they were shakin' their alien things.">
                                         -- The B-52's, "Cosmic Thing"

     Moving on to  the slightly  more. . . <baroque>  factions, we  come
across Bob Lazar, who turned up  late last year on KLAS-TV in  Nevada.
Lazar claims to have worked for the U.S. Navy at a  lab in Los Alamos,
and was regularly shuttled  to an area  designated S-4. At S-4,  Lazar
was permitted to check out the latest in alien-derived technology-- at
least  nine flying  saucers  using  'gravity-wave drives'  powered  by
antimatter  reactors which use a theoretical  Element 115. Lazar has a
fertile imagination for such things as candles that don't burn or melt
under distorted  gravity,  and  playfully bouncing  golfballs  from  a
repulsion field.
     Researchers  for  the  ParaNet computer  network,  however,  were
unable to confirm many of Lazar's claims. Beyond a phone book listing,
a  newspaper  article about  jet  cars, and  a  W-2  form that  anyone
could've filled  out at the public  library, Bob Lazar  the Government
Physicist seems never  to have existed.  George Knapp of  KLAS-TV says
that "We did a  lot of checking on him and  found interestingly enough
that his life  was disappearing around him. . .  We called Los  Alamos
Labs and  they said they  never heard of  him. We called MIT  where he
says he went to school and they had never heard of him.  We called for
his  birth records  and they  had disappeared. . .  as if  someone was
trying  to make him a  non-person." Most journalists,  faced with this
lack  of substantiation,  would  figure  Lazar was  yanking  someone's
chain. Knapp put him on the news.
     Other  problems in Lazar's  story turn  up. In a  KLAS interview,
describing the dissection  of an alien  body-- yep, those  pesky Greys
from Zeta Reticuli again--  Lazar says that  the insides seemed to  be
"one large  organ, as opposed  to identifiable  heart and lungs,"  and
follows this by saying how the pathologist catalogued and weighed  the
<individual> organs. Paranet has also circulated criticisms of the wonky
gee-whiz  gravity-bends-space-and-time  physics  Lazar  describes.  It
<sounds> quasi-Einsteinian to the layman, but Lazar trips up on details-
-  for example,  antimatter  is <not>  made  by  bombarding matter  with
protons,  let alone  a theoretical  Element 115,  which can  only form
within stars.

     Lazar wishes to  keep his distance  from the debates  of the  UFO
community. This is  understandable, considering  who brought him  into
the circus.

Who is Killing the Guernseys of Colorado?

     The  man who  brought Lazar  to KLAS  was John  Lear, son  of the
Learjet's  developer. He maintains  that not only  does the government
have <forty> saucers stashed away, but  they've got anywhere from 25  to
100 alien bodies in cryogenic storage, three living aliens in custody,
and a long-standing "business deal"  with the Space Brothers,  "having
been duped into  thinking they were  making some kind of  agreement in
which  we   traded  permission   to  abduct   humans  in   return  for
super-advanced technology."
     Lear's Laundry  List of established 'facts' includes: secret U.S.
military bases on the Moon and Mars; there are Martians, but they look
just  like  us; there  are  at least  70 different  species  of aliens
visiting Earth, engaging  in abductions and cattle  mutilations; there
are secret alien bases underground in Nevada; AIDS was developed by an
"R.M. Donner" for the Navy between 1969 and 1972; John Lennon, Charlie
Chaplin, and Pee-Wee Herman, among others,  were 'killed or destroyed'
by the CIA;  and man was developed  by aliens to be  a 'container' for
"physical  matter,   blood,   enzymes,  hormones,   souls,   thoughts,
emotions. . .  all of it engineered, multiplied, grown, harvested, and
processed by a  higher entity, and their licensees. . .  At the end of
the corporeal life of the container,  the soul is extracted and either
stored  for future use or reintroduced into a fetal container. To what
purpose? It's probably none of our business  anymore that it's a cow's
business  what  they  are  here  for.If  you  have  wondered  why  the
government has  never come  clean on  the subject  of flying  saucers,
maybe you should consider why we never take the trouble to brief  cows
on the reason for their existence."
     I'd  love to  hear the  bedtime stories  he tells  his  kids. But
perhaps  the  <real>  core  of  Lear's  hypothesis  rests  on  one   big
assumption;  all of the  rest of us  are ignorant, ill-educated sheep.
Doubt  his tale of the  development of AIDS? You're  likely to be told
that "If this sounds unbelievable, this  is because there are a number
of  things you don't  understand about world  population growth versus
food consumption. The reason you  don't understand these things is you
have not been fed this type  of information because it's none of  your
business. And if you still  think you have a government by  the people
and for  the people,  you are  as ignorant  as  you are  misinformed."
Wonder how the  government could keep such a thing  a secret all these
years? "Well, if you  truly believe that the  government can't keep  a
secret when it wants to, then you are worse than  terminally ignorant.
You are willfully ignorant."
     Then Lear plays his  trump card. "Find  a friend in an  aerospace
related government project. Ask him this question that will not in any
way compromise his oath of security. Ask him, 'Would you bet your life
that John Lear is wrong?'" I think most people can find more important

things to bet their lives on.
     I can guess at least one  question you might have at this  point;
"How  extreme  can this  stuff  get  before  <someone> decides  enough's
enough?" When  UFOlogists claim not only to  have determined different
species  of aliens,  which star  systems they've  come from,  and what
their technology is  like, and where their underground  bases are, one
can't help but  wonder if maybe  there's a limit.  Imagine a story  so
outrageous  even the  <Weekly World  News> wouldn't  print it.  Imagine,
perhaps,  a UFOlogist  who's managed  to throw  nearly every  shred of
credibility he has to the four winds.

     <"They're good fine people,  Stuart, But they don't know  what the>
<queers>< are  doing  to the  soil. . .   The  government says  it's  bad>
<farming,  but I know it's  the queers. They're in  it with the aliens.>
<They're building ><landing strips for GAY MARTIANS! I SWEAR  TO GOD! You>
<know what, Stuart? I ><like you.">

                                         -- The Dead Milkmen, "Stuart"

     Which brings us to William Cooper.
     Even  other UFOlogists say  "Enough!" at this  point. Cooper made
his  first appearance  on Paranet, and  administrator Jim  Speiser has
since barred  Cooper  from  posting  material onto  the  system.  Budd
Hopkins  wrote  "The  Paranoid  Temptation"  for  the  <MUFON  Journal>,
specifically  denouncing Cooper.  James Moseley's  <Saucer Smear>  calls
Cooper's  and  Lear's  claims  "wild ravings,"  and  Jerome  Clark  of
<International UFO Reporter> uses the phrase "lurid pulp fantasies." <UFO>
magazine  attacked Cooper in its "Whistleblowers" column; editor Vicki
Cooper (no relation) recently wrote an article about fascist trends in
UFO  imagery  and claims,  citing  Cooper's  use  of the  anti-Semitic
<Protocols of  the Learned Elders of  Zion> in his recent  book <Behold a>
<Pale Horse>.
     According to a  lecture delivered at the  1989 <Whole Earth  Expo>,
Cooper's yet another former  military man who's  been seeing UFOs  and
UFO-related  stuff  throughout   his  career;  aircraft  carrier-sized
spaceships  emerging from  the ocean  depths, for  example, or  'enemy
helicopters' abducting whole villages in Vietnam. You know, the <usual>.
Lesser men  would  have  shrugged  such things  off  as  being  merely
"spooky,"  or "a  coincidence," but  Cooper immediately  realized that
Something Was Going On. Eventually,  Cooper claims, he was given  "Top
Secret Magic"  clearance, where he  dealt with  "answers to  questions
which you  didn't know what  the questions  were so you  really didn't
know what the message was all about." Uh-huh.
     Suddenly Cooper was dealing with all sorts of UFO coverup stuff--
crashed saucers recovered by the  Nazis in 1936, "Operation Majority,"
Project GRUDGE, MAJI, SIGMA, PLATO, AQUARIUS, GARNET, POUNCE, SNOWBIRD
and REDLIGHT, the  test flights of captured  UFOs in Nevada,  the real
moon  landing in  1962,  the alien  creation of  Jesus and  four major
religions,  and  lots,  lots  more.  Cooper  out-Majestics  the  other
conspiratologists  by presenting the Jason  Society, top secret people

from  the Manhattan Project,  Nobel prizewinners, and  people from the
Council on Foreign  Relations, who  were appointed to  figure out  the
alien technology.  He  also  maintains that  Whitley  Streiber's  book
<Majestic>  was  based  on  authentic government  documents--  and  that
Streiber, along with  William Moore, is a government agent. (Streiber,
by the way,  was so angered by obnoxious UFO proponents that he turned
away from the whole movement.)
     It's part of the effort to weaken our moral fiber and get us used
to  the existence  of  aliens, Cooper  sez.  At a  1989 conference  in
Modesto, Cooper  maintained that  the actors  on the  TV series  <Alien>
<Nation> were <real>  aliens, whom he  designated "Orange." This  cultural
saturation effort is funded  in large part through drug  money; Cooper
says that the "Project Grudge" documents from the early 1960's specify
that  George  Bush  would  use  Zapata  Oil's  drilling  platforms  as
smuggling centers.  And when President  Kennedy ordered MJ-12  to stop
their drug  running,  the Bilderbergers  ordered  him killed.  Or,  in
Cooper's words at the <Whole Earth Expo> talk;
     "President Kennedy was killed by the driver of  his car, his name
was  William  Greer, he  used  a  recoilless,  electrically  operated,
gas-powered assassination pistol that  was specially built by  the CIA
to  assassinate people  at close range.  It fired  an explosive pellet
which injected a large amount of shellfish poison into the  brain, and
that  is why,  in the  documents, it  stated that  President Kennedy's
brain was  removed. If  you've studied the  case, you  will find  that
indeed his  brain disappeared.  The reason  for that  is so  that they
would  not find the particles of the exploding pellet or the shellfish
poison  in his  brain which  would have  proved conclusively  that Lee
Harvey Oswald was NOT the  assassin. In fact, Lee Harvey  Oswald never
fired a shot, he was the patsy."
     And  a year  later, at  the 1990  <Expo>: "[MAJESTY TWELVE]  is the
secret government, which controls the alien technology and the Defense
Industrial  Complex.     Who   report  to   the  Royal  Institute   of
International  Affairs  in  London.   Who  reports  to  the Rothschild
family,  who  owns the  Bank  of  England  and  who owns,  ladies  and
gentlemen,  the  FEDERAL RESERVE  OF  THE UNITED  STATES  OF AMERICA."
UFOlogists who  disagree with Cooper  are part  of the  disinformation
campaign, and L. Ron  Hubbard's in  on it as  well, since  Scientology
teaches about extraterrestrials. Cooper claims  Hubbard worked for the
Office of Naval Intelligence, and  that a former associate of  his had
founded the Jet  Propulsion Laboratory, <pretty damn  strange, huh?> And
as the Council  on Foreign Relations  is planning to  'depopulate' two
billion people  by the year  2000, and the  dark night falls  upon the
globe, the smiler with the knife roams the  alleyways of our souls and
we await with shuddering dread the whisper of the truncheon  above our
heads--
     <AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!! ENOUGH!  STOP!> Jesus,  do you  people know  what
it's like to slog <through> this shit? Forty-five-page rants about how a
rival  UFOlogist is a  mother-grabbing, father-raping whoremonger? The
whoremonger's reply that  the first guy is  a coke-snuffling Communist
degenerate?  Their  followers apologetically  claiming  that  the more

embarrassing screeds are CIA disinformation?
     I'm only exaggerating <slightly>;  I assembled a lot of  Cooper and
Lear material  for this article, but it's  mostly umpty-ump-page rants
about  how other  UFOlogists--  usually the  ones  who dare  criticize
Cooper--  are  government  disinformation  agents.  His lectures  have
included  rococo  accounts of  analyzing videotapes  of John  Lear for
careful 'body  analysis'  and  'voice  descrambling.'  At  one  point,
according to  <UFO> magazine,  Cooper accused  Bob Lazar  of dealing  in
drugs  and prostitution;  Lazar has  admitted on a  TV show  that he'd
written software to manage a bordello (which is no  big deal), but the
'drug dealing' part seems to  be based on a reference to  Lazar's jet-
car hobbies and a 'speed lab' where he makes the fuel. There must be a
market for this  stuff; UFO conspiratologist Lars Hansson is selling a
300+ page  compendium of  documents detailing his  wars with  Lear and
Cooper--  whom he initially  <believed>. You people  don't know how <ugly>
this  stuff can  get; it's like  watching wasps  crawl on  an infant's
cheek.
     Maybe  you  can't blame  the  UFO-conspiracy  theorists for  such
extremes. After all,  they claim they're onto the  Most Important News
Story  of  All  Time,  and  they  face  the  obstacles  of  government
surveillance, harassment,  and misinformation. But I have  a hard time
believing  that even  the  <respectable> UFO  coverup  researchers could
track  down  their  own  shoelaces,  especially  when   we  put  these
'investigative' efforts into their proper context.
     William Greider's <Secrets of  the Temple> detailed the  operations
of the Federal  Reserve, and his <Who Will Tell  the People?> managed to
explicate  a  maddeningly  complex   story  of  nationwide   financial
mismanagement and ruin. Robert  Caro's <The Power Broker> described  how
Robert Moses'  Triborough Authority  ran the complex  politics of  New
York  City for  more  than forty  years. Even  events  which could  be
considered government 'cover-ups' can be examined substantially and in
detail;  its  complicity in  the  drug  trade was  examined  in Alfred
McCoy's <The Politics of Heroin>, and Tim Weiner was able to outline the
Pentagon's "black  budget" in  <Blank Check>. And  as far  as government
malice  towards  whistleblowers goes,  John  Stockwell  (<In Search  of>
<Enemies>) and Philip Agee (<CIA Diary>) got published in spite of lengthy
government  harassment efforts. Solzhenitsyn  even managed  to get <The>
<Gulag Archipelago> published.
     If  the  government really  was  keeping the  aliens  in storage,
there's  <no> legitimate excuse  for not  having uncovered the  story in
complete and  convincing  detail by  now-- unless,  maybe, there's  no
story to be uncovered.  Compared to the above examples  of substantial
journalism,  even the  more respected UFO-Coverup  investigators sound
like children playing Junior G-Man,  with secret decoder rings, hidden
military bases and 'misinformation agents.'

                                 -30-

Addendum to the column


     But I  might as  well  mention one  tendency I've  noticed  about
Cooper fans. They  tend to be young, maybe teenagers,  or newcomers to
the  UFO field.  And when  they first  get into  UFO lore,  stuff they
encounter--   coverups,  government   'disinformation,'  conspiracies,
secret technology, Area 51, mind-shattering secrets that'll change the
way we live, and the like-- is pretty dazzling at first.
     Cooper's sort of  like this troll in  the Hall of  Mirrors; he'll
toss out these completely nutty theories, some people believe them for
a while,  but sooner or  later they figure  that the guy's  a kook and
keep  their  distance.  Sometimes,  they  even  develop  some  healthy
skepticism over Lear  and Lazar.  Most of the  press the  guy gets  on
Paranet is pretty disparaging, actually. But  sad to say, the extremes
of Cooper  really haven't done  much to  raise questions over  William
Moore or other Roswell/MJ-12  proponents. And while the UFO  community
dislikes Cooper intensely, he still manages to turn  up at the New Age
"Whole Earth Expo" every year
     I was talking about  this with a friend, and he  asked me why the
UFO community  would reject Cooper  so strongly,  but the Whole  Earth
Expo-- ostensibly,  a  broader, less  internecine  crowd-- would  keep
hiring him. My guess was  this. Nearly all of us have developed a kind
of  mental radar  that lets  us know  when we're  encountering someone
who's a  tad off-kilter. And sometimes,  it's set off when  the person
we're talking  to brings  up a subject  that seems  pretty arcane  and
remote, and  there's the sense  that only  a fanatic would  know about
this topic.
     This has nothing  to do with  the factual  content of the  topic.
Rather, it's a common reaction to an unfamiliar issue; Science fiction
fans  are  likely  to  get  it  from  'mundanes,'  and  I  think  this
'strangeness'  factor fuels  a lot  of  the popular  "What the  fuck's
that?"  querulousness  over  'deconstructionism'  and 'postmodernism.'
Even  skeptics  can get  this reaction  from  people who  are  'on the
fence'-- after all, why would a sane person skeptics bother to know so
much about  such dopey topics as  astrology, UFOs, the Satan  Scare or
the history of Apocalypse predictions?
     It's mostly  a matter of  'feel,' really;  particular choices  of
words or arguments, perhaps, or  a topic we've commonly had associated
with other crankeries. Among most people,  topics like MJ-12, Roswell,
Area 51,  the Linda Napolitano case  and the like  are precisely these
sorts  of topics--  when people  hear  about them,  they realize  that
there's a whole broad area that they have to be brought up to speed on
before they might take it seriously, so they want to put the brakes on
the discussion.  Among UFO fans, these topics are  sort of a given, so
when they're being discussed, that crowd's familiar with them.
     But there _are_ topics that are arcane to the  UFO fans. So, when
Cooper   starts  ranting   about   the   Trilateral  Commission,   the
Bilderbergers, the biological-warfare creation of AIDS, and other such
lunacies,  UFO fans notice that suddenly he's talking about stuff that
requires a  lot  of  background--  or a  fanatical  interest.  It's  a
different sort  of fanaticism--  especially with the  Trilaterals, the
Bilderbergers, and the anti-Semitic Protocols of the Learned Elders of

Zion (which Cooper has included  in his book <Behold a Pale  Horse>). In
other words, Cooper's rants have a slightly wider scope  than just UFO
issues.
     So, while  he's setting  off  the radar  of UFO  fans, Cooper  is
simultaneously  punching the "right"  buttons of  a lot of  New Agers,
whose concerns  are  more  catholic--  environmentalism,  strange  and
suppressed power  sources or  medical cures,  cartoon-radical politics
(like  Kennedy assassination  theories),  Hidden Conspiracies  of  the
Robert Anton Wilson sort. For the UFO crowd, such topics are a warning
sign of  something-- but among  the Whole Earth  crowd, they act  as a
confirmation,  because it's  being  attached  to  a broader  range  of
topics. Cooper knows about the Masons, their reasoning might go; maybe
there's something to his talk about the Kennedy assassination, too.





From: [e-mail]
Subject:      Re:      YACC (Yet Another Cockamamie Conspiracy)
Message-ID: <[e-mail]>
Date:         Fri, 2 Apr 1993 23:23:06 EST
Mark Meyer <[e-mail]> writes:

> Ranjit Annamalai, on Thu, 1 Apr 1993 04:21:58 EST, .sigged:
> > ATTN: This man is reported to be DEAD
>
>         Or "missing, presumed nutty".
>
> > "The first moon landing was May 22, 1962 ... or
> > excuse me,  that was  the first  landing on Mars.  I'm sorry, May
> > 22, 1962,  was the  winged probe that used a hydrozine propeller,
> > flew around  approximately three  orbits and  landed on  May  22,
> > 1962, was a joint United States/Russian endeavor.  The first time
> > that we  landed on  the moon was sometime during the ... probably
> > middle 50s,  because at  the time  when President  Kennedy stated
> > that he  wanted a  man to  set foot on the moon by the end of the
> > decade we already had a base there."
> >      "What about Mars?" came another quick question.
> >      "We have a base on Mars also," Cooper calmly replied.
> >      "When did that happen?"
> >      "I don't  know the exact date but I know the project's name,
> > it was 'Adam and Eve.'"
> >      "How long have you known about this?"
> >      "Well, I  revealed it publicly for the first time on July 2,
> > 1989, and  within three weeks of the time I revealed it publicly,
> > the government,  to get  the American people not to listen to me,
> > came out  and said  that they planned to build a base on the moon
> > and a  colony on  Mars.   Now, three  days previous to my speech,
> > representatives from  NASA said,  'We can  never have a colony on
> > Mars, it's  impossible that there's a colony on Mars because Mars
> > is a  dead planet.'   And it's not a dead planet, they've lied to
> > you about Mars."
>
> > The above excerpt is taken from a speech given by Bill Cooper.
>
     That's the nice thing about Bill Cooper. Just when you think you've
heard _the_ most extreme and unsupported conspiracy theories imaginable,
Cooper manages to go them one better.
     I'm not exaggerating, either. One of Cooper's tendencies is to take an
existing conspiracy theory of some sort, and give it either an added spin,
a 'correction,' or some indication that he, Cooper, has the _real_ scoop on
what's going on. For example, when the UFO community was buying into
William Moore's "Majestic-12" claims, Cooper claimed to have seen documents
regarding something called "Majesty-12," as well as another group with an
even _higher_ mandate than crashed-saucer claims.
     People were proposing a second gunman in the Kennedy assassination?
Cooper's best known for his narration of a twelfth-generation copy of the
Zapruder film, claiming that the _driver_ is clearly seen turning and
shooting JFK-- with a pneumatic gun specifically designed for that purpose,
whose pellet was loaded with "shellfish toxin."
     I did a column about Cooper, John Lear, and Bob Lazar, and since the
issue's off the stands, I'll upload a copy.