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Path: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!hookup!newshost.marcam.com!news.mathworks.com!news.duke.edu!godot.cc.duq.edu!newsfeed.pitt.edu!gatech!howland.reston.ans.net!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!uwm.edu!lll-winken.llnl.gov!overload.lbl.gov!news From: twchan@quake.net (Terry Chan) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,news.answers,alt.answers Subject: alt.folklore.urban Frequently Asked Questions Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban Date: 13 Apr 1995 01:00:27 GMT Organization: Department of Redundancy Department Lines: 175 Approved: news-answers-request@MIT.Edu Expires: 30 April 1995 Message-ID: <3mht3b$7gc@overload.lbl.gov> Reply-To: twchan@quake.net (Terry Chan) NNTP-Posting-Host: tennyson.lbl.gov Summary: Urban legends supported, challenged and debunked Please read before posting to AFU Xref: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu alt.folklore.urban:203627 news.answers:41876 alt.answers:8622 Archive-name: folklore-faq/part1 Last-Modified: 95/4/1 Version: 2.50 1 April 1995 Official Usenet Alt.Folklore.Urban Frequently Posted Legends "I will set down a tale...it may be history it may be only a legend, a tradition. It may have happened, it may not have happened. But it could have happened..." -- Mark Twain [via Christopher Neufeld] TABLE OF CONTENTS TO THIS AND THE OTHER PARTS OF THE FAQ LIST Part 1 - Introduction to the newsgroup and the FAQ list. PART 2 - General administrative and other notes on urban legends (ULs) and the newsgroup (e.g., bait for for "trolling.". PART 3 - Major Categories of ULs Covered in the FAQ: PART 4 - Credits and some references =========================================================================== 1. INTRODUCTION TO THE FAQ POSTINGS FOR AFU: The newsgroup alt.folklore.urban (AFU) is devoted to the discussion and debunking of urban legends and other related issues. This is Part I of the Frequently Asked Questions/ Frequently Posted Legends list for AFU. Frequency: ---------- The Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) list for alt.folklore.urban is posted approximately twice a month to the alt.folklore.urban, news.answers, and alt.answers newsgroups with an expiration date approximately one month from the date of posting. If the FAQ is not available on AFU at your site, check the other newsgroups mentioned above. Anonymous FTP: -------------- The four part FAQ for alt.folklore.urban is also available via anonymous ftp at rtfm.mit.edu. You can retrieve them by grabbing the following files: /pub/usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part1 /pub/usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part2 /pub/usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part3 /pub/usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part4 E-MAIL: ------ If you do not have anonymous ftp access, rtfm.mit.edu can send the FAQ to you via email. Send an e-mail message to mail-server@rtfm.mit.edu, subject ignored, and the body containing: send usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part1 send usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part2 send usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part3 send usenet/news.answers/folklore-faq/part4 CATHOUSE: --------- The FAQ and various sundry information are also available via anonymous ftp from cathouse.org (128.174.184.32) in the /pub/cathouse/urban.legends subdirectory. Thanks to Jason Heimbaugh (jason@cathouse.org) for his efforts in maintaining this archive. WWW/Mosaic: ----------- For the net.privileged, Andrew Condon (afcondon@dsg.cs.tcd.ie) has generously made some initial cuts at making the AFU FAQ available via World Wide Web (WWW). The URL is: http://www.dsg.cs.tcd.ie/dsg_people/afcondon/AFU/AFU-FAQ.html there are many binaries available for accessing the WWW including netscape and mosaic. There are versions for most platforms inlcuding Sparc, SGI, Dec, HP, and even PC and Mac. The WWW version of the FAQ is still under development and if you are particularly interested in a particular item, you would probably be well-advised to cross-check it with the versions noted in rtfm.mit.edu or *.answers are noted above. 2. INTRODUCTION TO THE NEWSGROUP AFU This is alt.folklore.urban -- the newsgroup where nonsense is revered as an artform, and debunking has been taken to new heights. The group has broadened its god-given mandate from a place for discussing urban legends (ULs) to a place for confirming or disproving beliefs and facts of all kinds, including origin of vernacular ("The whole nine yards", "Sniping like a bald giraffe"), common scientific fallacies, obscure points of history, stories of pranks, the location of Foucalt's pendulums, Why "Space 1999" was better than "Star Trek: TOS," "What types of salmon are there?" and so on. In other words, it's a great place to get a reality check on anything that "a friend" told you, or to compare notes about odd things. Bear in mind though that the FAQ tries, in its own confused way, to focus more on UL relevant topics. As a result, you will find items in the classic urban legend mold (e.g., food contamination legends), as well as old wives tales, and other oddball facts, trivia, and stories. =========================================================================== An urban legend: * appears mysteriously and spreads spontaneously in varying forms, * contains elements of humor or horror (the horror often "punishes" someone who flouts society's conventions). * makes good storytelling. * does NOT have to be false, although most are. ULs often have a basis in fact, but it's their life after-the-fact (particularly in reference to the second and third points) that gives them particular interest. =========================================================================== RELIGION AND URBAN LEGENDS Issues of religious faith per se, while occasionally fitting the mode of legends are not really appropriate for urban legend discussion. They involve a dimension beyond the immediate concerns of urban legends (though it may be reasonably argued that they arise out of the same sorts of human concerns). Similarly, issues of mythology (a la Joseph Campbell or Mircea Eliade, et al.) while potentially fascinating on their own merits, are not really relevant for discussion in an urban legends newsgroup either. To the extent their discussion sheds insights into popular urban legends, no problem. Otherwise, it really belongs in talk.religion.misc or some other newsgroup. Religion (of whatever strip) is a significant and real institution in the lives of many peoples. As a result, it can and will give rise to urban legends and to this extent, its discussion is appropriate for AFU. The veracity of the institution is irrelevant since its influence is undeniable. You can argue the veracity of the tenets of any religion you want, however that argument doesn't belong in AFU. =========================================================================== The Frequently Asked Questions List has been maintained by Terry Chan since July 1991. Its inception and spirit was due to Peter van der Linden in February 1991. COPYRIGHT STUFF: ---------------- Copyright (c) 1995, Terry Chan and Peter van der Linden. All Rights Reserved. Permission for personal, educational or non- profit use is granted provided this this copyright and notice are included in its entirety and remains unaltered. All other uses must receive prior permission in writing from both Terry Chan (at tchan@dante.lbl.gov or twchan@quake.net) and Peter van der Linden (at linden@eng.sun.com). Licensing terms on request. Path: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!hookup!newshost.marcam.com!news.mathworks.com!news.duke.edu!godot.cc.duq.edu!newsfeed.pitt.edu!gatech!howland.reston.ans.net!math.ohio-state.edu!uwm.edu!lll-winken.llnl.gov!overload.lbl.gov!news From: twchan@quake.net Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,news.answers,alt.answers Subject: alt.folklore.urban Frequently Asked Questions Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban Date: 13 Apr 1995 01:01:04 GMT Organization: Department of Redundancy Department Lines: 251 Approved: news-answers-request@MIT.Edu Expires: 30 April 1995 Message-ID: <3mht4g$7ho@overload.lbl.gov> Reply-To: twchan@quake.net (Terry Chan) NNTP-Posting-Host: tennyson.lbl.gov Summary: Urban legends supported, challenged and debunked Please read before posting to AFU Xref: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu alt.folklore.urban:203629 news.answers:41877 alt.answers:8623 Archive-name: folklore-faq/part2 Last-Modified: 95/4/1 Version: 2.50 1 April 1995 INTRODUCTION: This is part two of the four part Frequently Asked Questions list for alt.folklore.urban. This section contains various administrative and other oddly interesting information pertaining to AFU. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- TWO NOTES TO NEW READERS: - We encourage you to post any stories you suspect may be an UL. Funny or whatever. Details matter! Please try to give as much as possible. BUT, be advised that many of the stories in the FAQ have been hashed over. If you wish to debate them, be prepared to substantiate your claim. - The weasely :-) symbol is frowned upon in this group. Any questions, see Phil Gustafson who will gladly rearrange your diodes for you and charge you two-fifty for it. Of course, there is no good reason why doing so should be a capital crime (virtual or otherwise), though you do leave yourself open to scorn, ridicule, and bad breath if you do use them. By the way, it's no big deal. Get a life. - There are also reports of a BOA going on. A NOTE TO OLD AND WOULD BE OLD READERS: - If you must troll, bear in mind that trolling outside of AFU is pretty weak. The purpose of summarizing these frequently-seen legends is to provide a guide to veracity and their experience in this newsgroup. Most ULs cannot be traced back to original true incidents, but some, particularly the more recent ones can be. There are ULs which may, coincidentally, have a true manifestation, but a true manifestation does not deprive a UL of its legendary status. However, since many if not most ULs are false, where possible, I include a comment referring to a true incident, subject to sufficient evidence, of course. A DIGRESSION ON URBAN LEGENDS AND "FALSEHOOD" Occasionally, there is a post to the effect of: "That actually happened you st*p*d, f*ck*ng, b*st*rds, Jan Harold Brunvand is Polish, the FAQ list is wrong, the sun rises in the West and it's not an urban legend." As noted elsewhere in this list and by astute individuals on the net, an UL does not have to be false. If we take the example of "The Unsolvable Math Problem" (see below), we find that mathematician George Dantzig is the probable individual involved. So is this story no longer an UL? Jan Harold Brunvand addresses this issue thusly: "Despite finding its [The Unsolvable Math Problem] apparent origin, I continue to accept anonymous versions as legendary. Here's why." "An oral story is a story, whatever its origin. As long as a story continues to circulate in different variations, partly by word of mouth, we may regard it as folklore. But probably 'The Unsolvable Math Problem' legend should no longer be discussed as strictly 'apocryphal,' since we now seem to have found its source, and the deviations from the original incident are easily recognized and are not excessive." - JHB, _Curses! Broiled Again!_, p. 282 Veracity is interesting but far from the only thing when it comes to the study of urban legends. MEANWHILE, BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM . . . I have also begun to collect references to specific volumes of JHB's to document various classic ULs. This is a slow and on-going process. Acronyms for Jan Harold Brunvand's books in the list below are: TVH - _The Vanishing Hitchhiker_ TMP - _The Mexican Pet_ TCD - _The Choking Doberman_ CBA - _Curses! Broiled Again_ TBT - _The Baby Train_ Related newsgroups to consider when posting an article which may be "folklore": - alt.folklore.computers [guess what this one is about?] - alt.folklore.science ["Does hot water freeze faster than cold?" Heh.] - alt.folklore.college [Lots of the same old stuff, but why not?] - alt.folklore.ghost-stories [Spooky!] - alt.folklore.suburban [Joel Furr moderated, low-volume group.] - alt.folklore.info [Terry Wood moderated, very low-volume group.] - alt.folklore.military [What exactly is "Puff the Magic Dragon" about?] - alt.fan.cecil-adams [For those who want the dope, straight or not] - sci.skeptic [for those with lots of time on their hands] - alt.tasteless [frequently more appropriate than not.] - alt.usage.english [pretty self-explanatory, dontcha think?] - alt.flame [just a thought else hold that thought] - alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.d [the others are for *pictures* only.] - alt.religion.kibology [the mother of all newsgroups] - rec.arts.startrek.misc [Anything about "Lost in Space" will do.] NOMINATIONS FOR THE OFFICIAL MOTTO OF A.F.U. [One free clue: if youse post with one of the following in your article, youse takes youse chances in this newsgroup.] "It could have happened, so it must be true." "Sheesh!" "Sorry to inject some facts into this newsgroup..." "It COULD have happened so it MUST have happened" "Bula Vinaka" "I read it on USE[less]NET so it must be true." "You st*p*d f*ck*ng b*st*rds..." "The way I heard it..." "I read it in the paper..." "I think it's stupid. We collect all these business cards, and it turns out nobody wants them." "Mumpsimus" "Furrfu!" "Bzzzzt!" "No Facts but..." "And as for the voracity [sic] of the source, this is my GRANDMOTHER you're talking about." "True story as far as anyone knows. No particular reason why it should be doubted." "I can't vouch for the veracity of your story. But there's enough stupidity out there that I'll believe it." "He might have. That alone is enough to prove..." "Are you saying that some soaps are not detergents but that no detergents are soaps?" "Well, looking at my couch, I could see how this would happen" "Excuse me. But can anyone tell me what's going on here?" "I'm not making this up. I've seen a wargame of the battle of Stalingrad which includes an optional counter for mine dogs, so it must be true. "I will not describe it so don't even bother asking me about it." "My girlfriend has seen people doing this. Sources don't come more reliable." "If you doubt this crap, Ive [sic] got a copy I could quote." "I heard the story. It wasn't cocaine, it was a cat." "Exaggeration makes a better story." "Yup. I've heard that one too so it must be true." "I didn't keep any references as I didn't think it would be a subject on AFU." "I do not post speculation or bullshit to this newsgroup." "Sounds like bullshit to me." "I must say, with all due respect, the tone of your reply is typical of much of the dialog that goes on on this network and newsgroup. Any apparent weakness or oversight, real or not, becomes the occasion for an attack on the basic intelligence of the person who reveals it -- in this case the lecturer whose talk some fifteen years ago I sketchily summarized." "I can't remember where I heard that, so it must be true." "Your intuition is excellent, but another viewpoint could be helpful." "...you're still wrong, even taking your pedantry at face value." "Well, this has nothing to do with San Francisco or pus, but..." "Yes a film of that does exist. Some kids I once knew in high school once saw it." "[f]rankly I couldn't give a fig what you all say, this happens[...]" "Home address and plane fare on request, punk." "If it isn't true, it should be, and if we could afford it, it would be." "Why don't you just select your silly MOTTO and get on with it." "i wasnt thinking...obviously this doesnt matter to my point..." "I believe it because I have already heard other versions of it..." "I'm extremely sceptical about this being an urban legend; after all, the fellow who sent _me_ the letter is an attorney." "If you mess around with a really great screw you're in danger of losing your ass?" "This may be the single dumbest argument I've ever engaged in, but your rock-solid surety in taking on such a counterintuitive position intrigues me." "I trust that this ensures me a lasting place in the FAQ." AFU MAN OF THE YEAR - B1FF (1990) - STella (1991) - Trelford Pinkerton (1992) - Phil Gustafson (1993) - Terry Chan (1994) - Lee Rudolph (1994) - Kim Scheinberg (1994) SPECULATION ON CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK'S MIDDLE NAME - "Terry" - "Tirebiter" - "Tennessee" - "Tyrone" - "Tin-Plated Dictator with Delusions of Godhood" - "Teriyaki" - "Thermocephalic" - "Tribble Stuffer" OFFICIAL AFU MASCOT - My pet King snake, Elvis - Peter's pet dalmatian dog, Pixel - snopes' pet cat, Snopes - little gator's non-biological gator, harvee - Cindy's pet troll, Steinar - Nigel's pet human, Joel Furr - Weasels! Weasels! Weasels! HACK ETYMOLOGIES FOR THE WORD 'POSH' - Puke On Shoes Here - Port Out, Starboard Home - Passed Out, She Hurled - Post Office: Shergold's Hospital - Pulmonary -- Oxygenated Supply to Heart - Port Out, Sherry Home - Prow Outward, Stern Homeward OFFICIAL AFU PHOTOGRAPHERS - Dan Wright and Patrick S. Clark (ret.) - Joe "Not not him" DiMaggio OFFICIAL AFU HATCHETMAN - Ray "Not Dick" Depew OFFICIAL FOOD OF AFU - Chicken Mole' - Red Velvet Cake - Poinsettia salad - Kentucky Fried Chicken - little gator's Deep Sh*t Cookies [to get the cookie recipe via email, send a message with the words, "send deepshit" in the body to server@harvee.billerica.ma.us.] OFFICIAL BIG DIC OF AFU - The OED or Winston Churchill (tie) NOT THE OFFICIAL SONG OF AFU - She Bop --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Frequently Asked Questions List has been maintained by Terry Chan since July 1991. Its inception and spirit was due to the efforts of Peter van der Linden in February 1991. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- COPYRIGHT STUFF: ---------------- Copyright (c) 1995, Terry Chan and Peter van der Linden. All Rights Reserved. Permission for personal, educational or non- profit use is granted provided this this copyright and notice are included in its entirety and remains unaltered. All other uses must receive prior permission in writing from both Terry Chan (at tchan@dante.lbl.gov or twchan@quake.net) and Peter van der Linden (at linden@eng.sun.com). Licensing terms on request. Path: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!hookup!news.Direct.CA!scipio.cyberstore.ca!vanbc.wimsey.com!news.bc.net!news.mic.ucla.edu!nntp.club.cc.cmu.edu!cantaloupe.srv.cs.cmu.edu!das-news2.harvard.edu!news2.near.net!news.mathworks.com!news.duke.edu!news-feed-1.peachnet.edu!gatech!howland.reston.ans.net!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!uwm.edu!lll-winken.llnl.gov!overload.lbl.gov!news From: twchan@quake.net (Terry Chan) Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,news.answers,alt.answers Subject: alt.folklore.urban Frequently Asked Questions Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban Date: 13 Apr 1995 01:01:39 GMT Organization: Department of Redundancy Department Lines: 729 Approved: news-answers-request@MIT.Edu Expires: 30 April 1995 Message-ID: <3mht5j$7hq@overload.lbl.gov> Reply-To: twchan@quake.net (Terry Chan) NNTP-Posting-Host: tennyson.lbl.gov Summary: Urban legends supported, challenged and debunked Please read before posting to AFU Xref: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu alt.folklore.urban:203631 news.answers:41880 alt.answers:8624 Archive-name: folklore-faq/part3 Last-Modified: 95/4/1 Version: 2.50 1 April 1995 KILL YOUR TELEVISION! F. "Newlywed Game" husband televised response that the strangest place they made love was "That'd be the butt, Bob." T. Brian Gordon posted Bob Eubanks interview where Bob offers $10K for proof. T. Dave Filippi posted similar account heard on Boston area radio (WBCN). T. Many people claim to have seen it. Bill McCauley claims to have a tape. T. Robert Huss claims to have seen it but says the common quote is "wrong." T. Chris Johns claims to have seen Chuck Barris say it was true on CNBC. F.*The UK cartoon series "Cpt. Pugwash" had character names w/double entendres. T. _The Guardian_ wrote this up in September 1991. They were successfuly sued and issued an apology/retraction in November 1991. T. Ian Palmer posted a .wav file he says is from an episode called "Fair Exchange" supposedly available on a BBC Video called "Captain Pugwash, Seafairing Tales" where the Cpt. is supposed to have said "I certainly did Master Bate." Interestingly, this differs from the traditional UL where the name is often referred to as "Master Bates." T. Many people claim to have seen and heard these too. What a coincidence! T. ...Gif of the Captain available at cathouse.org. T. Woman has epileptic seizures upon hearing Mary Hart's [ET anchor] voice. F. "Gilligan's Island" was never a real TV show. Tb.Parents get a video for children. Find it was recorded over old porn tape! T. CA assembly considering a law to ban the splicing of porn onto rented tapes. F. Johnny Carson said he'd pet Zsa Zsa's pussy if she'd move her cat. F. JC said to Jack Nicklaus' wife that her kissing his balls before a golf game must "make his putter flutter." (Sometimes about Arnold Palmer.) T.*Bo Bradham saw A. Palmer deny it on the _Tonight Show_ on 11 Oct 94. F. JC gave out his AT&T card number for free calls since he won big settlement. [Or Steve McQueen/Paul Newman/Sammy Davis,Jr/Robert Redford/Burt Reynolds.] F. David Letterman tells audience to say "Hi" to Paul Shaffer 'cause his contract says his butt can't be shown on TV. [Above four from "Talk Show Tales - 'Dave's Behind' in CBA] F.*Kid tells Bozo the Clown to "shove it"/etc. after kid drops egg in game. F.*Bozo interviews kids on show. One kid says "Cram it, clown!" Is removed. F.*Some kid's talk show host says "That ought to shut the little bastards up!" on live TV/radio. [Above three from 'Bozo the Clown's Blooper' in TMP] T. Yes, yes, I've heard of Uncle Don and Kermit Schaeffer. F.*Soupy Sales was canned for telling kids to send him pieces of paper with pictures of dead presidents from their parents' dresser drawers on his show. T.*He was suspended for a week. F. Jan or Cindy Brady actress was a porn star. See alt.sex.movies FAQ. F. Some muppet on Sesame Street is going to be snuffed. F. Sesame Street's Bert and Ernie are "gay." REEFER MADNESS [The alt.drugs FAQ list has lots of interesting info.] F.*"Blue star" or cartoon character (esp. Mickey Mouse) tattoos laced with LSD is sold at schools <Important!> to hook kids on acid. T.*This UL is frequently spread via poorly typed/copied fliers. T.*LSD has been sold on blotter paper with cartoon characters. ["Blue Star Acid" in CBA and "Mickey Mouse Acid" in TCD. See also Dave Gross's definitive periodic posting.] Fb.Person high on drugs stares at sun -- gets partial blindness. T. Check in Medline in Dec 1992 and Oct 94 shows no such case reported. F. Aspirin and Coca-Cola taken together get you high. (Nope.May cause insomnia) T. Phil Kernick thinks it does work on him, but that's Oz for you. U. More than 4 hits of acid in one month renders you legally insane. F. Tobacco cos. prepared to market/mfg joints if pot was legalized in '60s/'70s T. You can beat any drug test (in a Zen way) by not taking the test. U. Guy on pot pulled over by police. Asked if he knew his speed. Was 5 mph! F. LSD accumulates in the brain and spinal column and shows up on x-rays. Fb.McDonald's coffee stirrers changed; they were used by cocaine sniffers. ["Mickey Mouse Acid" in TCD] F.*Banana peels and peanut shells contain hallucinogenic substances. F.*"Street" acid (LSD) is frequently cut with strychnine. ASTONISHING ANTIPODEAN ANTICS F. Some part of Australia is antipodal to some part of N. America or Europe. T. Cane toads are now a plague, originally imported to eat cane beetles. F. Koalas are always stoned/drunk, as they eat alcohol in eucalyptus leaves. Fb.Koalas, being filled with eucalyptus oil, "explode" in bushfires. [Rats!] F. Kangaroos deliver the mail in the outback. U. "Goanna Oil" dissolves muscle protein. Goannas are large native lizards. U. Driver fools tourists in Milford tunnel bus,says motorbike is oncoming train U. Dingos eat babies. Australian courts say YES, NO, YES. Fb.Aussies put vegemite under eyelids to get high. Yum! T. Some New Zealanders do not think very highly of Australians. T. There sure are lots of stories about Vegemite. [Why not Marmite?] F. Rights to "Waltzing Matilda" are owned by an American, hence not anthem. T. "Chooks" taste like chicken. T. Tasmanian devils are not extinct. Whoopee. LEWD FOOD T. There're kosher Chinese restaurants in and around big East Coast US cities. T. Most mass-market beers contain "foaming agents" to make them form a head. U. Eating lots of chicken fast food causes males to grow breasts (from hormones T. Eggs and chicken are horribly contaminated, and should NOT be eaten raw. T. Unless marked "dairy", fast food shakes aren't milk: mostly carrageen gel. T. Lead leaches from lead crystal decanters into drinks; is not good for you. F. Eating carrots may improve night vision, because of large amounts of Vit A. Tb.Microwaved food is better (other cooking allegedly creates carcinogens) Tb.Eating celery takes more energy than its digestion yields. U. Mick Jagger used a Mars bar as a dildo on nubile pop loon Marianne Faithful. T. Kim Scheinberg posted MF's denial from autobiography,but she would say that. F,T,T,U.Fast food places use unusual ingredients: worm, 'roo meat, seaweed, rat. ["'The Kentucky Fried Rat' and Other Nasties" in TVH] F. Stranger at restaurant eats your cookies, you grab, later find you took his. There are several variations on the same motif, differing by location. ["The Packet of Biscuits" in TCD. Douglas Adams claims this really happened to him. Also a variant w/Kit Kat bars.] F.*Cook cheated into buying Mrs Fields' recipe, gets revenge by spreading it. ["The Mrs. Fields Cookie Recipe" in CBA. This is probably a descendant of the "Red Velvet Cake" UL in TVH. Another version involves Nieman-Marcus and many other noted retail establishments.] F. Green M&M's (also "Smarties" in UK and Canada) are an aphrodisiac. T. Andrew Welsh has tried them. F. Red M&M's are a carcinogen (Nope, they used red dye #5,not dangerous #2) [Both M&M legends are in "Green M&Ms" in TMP] F. Ingesting a tapeworm will help you slim, so people do this regularly ["'Bosom Serpent' Legends" in TCD.] T. Many CIA (and other gov't) snackbars are staffed by blind people. F. They're hired to help maintain secrecy. F. Grape seeds can get caught in your appendix and give you appendicitis. T. Steven Bellovin thinks diverticulitis may be source of this UL. T. British army doses water with bromide (for purification), soldiers say it's. U. ...to suppress soldiers' libidos. US Army salts their peters with saltpeter. Fb.Kennedy family made their pile thru a Scotch import monopoly Tb.Kennedy family made their pile thru smuggling Scotch during prohibition. F. The red leaves of Poinsettias (aka the Xmas Plant) are deadly poisonous. ["The Poinsettia Myth" in TMP.] T. Poinsettia sap and leaves are irritants and may harm small children. T. People have been poisoned by eating food cooked on burning oleander branches Tb.Asparagus stinks up pee, but ability to smell it is genetically inherited. T. Fresh seeds from plants of rose family react to form cyanide in the body. T. Lots of Asian restaurants have humorous names to English speakers. Fb.Restaurant mints are pissy because patrons don't wash after going to the loo. F. Mikey (Life cereal) exploded from eating Pop Rocks with soda (You wish!) ["The Death of Little Mikey" in TCD] F.*A popular Mexican beer (esp. Corona) was made with urine. F.*Snapple either supports Operations Rescue/KKK and/or the ship on the label is a slave ship. T. In November 1994, Snapple was acquired by Quaker Oats Corp. Tell it to them. F.*Tropical Fantasy soft drink causes sterility in black men. T. Some people like to eat the placenta (aka afterbirth) of their children. F. Shampoos and foreign beauty aids are made from aborted babies. ["The Secret Ingredient" in TMP] F. Couple travels to exotic locale with pet dog. Eatery prepares it for them. ["Food and Restaurant Rumors and Legends"/"Unfortunate Pet Legends", TCD] F. Ethnic eateries (Chinese/E. Indian/Italian) use cat/dog/human meat instead of expected meat.["The Eaten Pets"/"Further Ethnic Stereotype Legends,"TMP] F. Cantaloupes are infected with salmonella and are thus bad to eat. F. Snake hidden in imported fruit (bananas, pineapple, etc.) bites/kills some- one. ["The Snake in the Greens" in TBT] T.*Woman removes label from "tuna" can, finds cat food label underneath. T.*The cat food actually was tuna canned 6 years earlier in Canada, declared unfit for human consumption, allowed to be exported as pet food, and then illegally relabeled as tuna again. (Toronto Star, March 24, 1992) Fb.In pre-revolutionary Paris, peasants resold food from restaurant garbage. T. Vegemite (and Marmite) is made from yeast by-products, salt, and other stuff Fb.Cannibalism was a common means of sustenance for past cultures. F. "Instant" ramen noodles are coated w/wax and can cause intestinal blockage. Fb.Drinking alcoholic beverages through a straw makes one drunker faster. Tb.Carbonation in whisky and soda makes one drunk faster than a straight whisky F. Marco Polo brought pasta back to Italy from the Chinese. T. Spinach has no more iron than other vegetables; UL due to misplaced decimal. F.*People eat chocolate because it gives them the same feeling as being in love F. Chocolate makes people horny. T. Some McDonald's do give free soft drink refills. There may not be signs tho. F. Peeling labels off a beer bottle means you're: a) a virgin, b) gonna get lucky, c) sexually frustrated. F. Eating hot bread is bad for you (alcohol, stomach upset, etc.) Tb.Don't use fresh/frozen pineapple, Kiwi fruit, or maggots to make Jell-O. Tb.Certain Eng. documentaries notwithstanding, spaghetti doesn't grow on trees. T. Some English beers contain fish guts. T. Coca-cola is acidic. Whop-dee-doo. F. The "Baby Ruth" candy bar was named for George "Babe" Ruth. Duh. Fb....It was really named for US president Grover Cleveland's oldest daughter. Tb....There are those who believe that the manufacturer wanted to avoid paying ...royalties to the "Babe." [Notable AFUers: pvdl and Ted Frank.] T. But the "Babe" was a pitcher when it came out and wasn't really famous yet. F. "Bubble Yum" bubble gum is manufactured with spiders' eggs. ["The Kentucky Fried Rat" in TVH.] T. There sure are lots of stories of food service people jacking off into food. ...e.g., doughnut dough, pizzas, curry, etc. T. Most, if not all, are false though. T. If you want to know what the "33" on Rolling Rock beer means. Read the _Straight Dope_ books mentioned at the end of the FAQ list. F. Eating ice will strip the enamel off your teeth or is somehow "bad" for you. T. Some people were buying large quantities of baby formula in the US because it was cheaper than in nearby large metropolitan areas. T. Yes, we've heard the untrue story about a woman, a dog, and peanut butter. F. Putting a spoon in a bottle of champagne will help keep it from going flat. SNUFF MOVIES Tb.The Feds, cops, CIA, etc. have never actually found a real snuff film. T. Scotland Yard has found no evidence of snuff films in the last 20 years. F. "Snuff films" actually exist (Nope, tho' there are various wannabe fakes) T. Some psychotics have taped the murder of their victims. T. Search in WestLaw in 1991 showed no mention of cases on "snuff films". F.*"Faces of Death" is a snuff film. [See Larry Doering plot summary.] F. "Snuff" was the name of a real snuff film. T. We never saw a snuff film that we didn't like. T. Dean Lambey in California was arrested in 1989 by an undercover officer and tried and convicted while planning to make a snuff film. Conviction was upheld by a federal appeals court in 1992 in Richmond, VA. F. There were at least two different endings to "Old Yeller". By definition, a snuff film is one in which the film is the *purpose* of (rather than incidental to) the murder and with some intent of commercial distribution (i.e. if they ran out of film, the murder would be postponed until someone could run down to the 7-11 & get more). Paul Lanning, the FBI's chief researcher into child pornography was quoted by _The Times_ of London: "In 20 years I have not seen any hard evidence that they have commercially produced sexually explicit films of murders for the gratification of other people. Simulated snuff movies using special effects are so realistic there is no point in risking life in jail." Note to the new reader: please don't send or post e-mail saying "snuff movies *could* exist, because people are naughty enough" - this is not in dispute; the point is that no examples have yet come to light. Until someone shows evidence of their existence, snuff films are in the same category as UFO's, the Loch Ness monster, and Bruce Willis's hair -- i.e. "believed false." UPSTANDING LEGENDS OF THE PENIS AND SCROTUM F. Model's dick showed in a Sears catalog ad for shorts (it was drawstring!) T. But it looked a little like the model's wiener, and folks thought it was. T. Nelson Rockefeller died of cardiac arrest while porking the help. U. Errol Flynn banged out "Star-spangled Banner" on xylophone with his big dong F. Gangster John Dillinger's long wang is pickled in a jar at/near Smithsonian. F. In Nigeria, roving gangs of thieves may surreptitiously steal mens' dorks. T. Groupies took plaster casts of pop singers' schlongs, inc Hendrix's whacker. Tb.Adolf Hitler only had one testicle. Immortalized in many a kid's rhyme. T. If you have to ask about Hitler's or Goebbels' balls, try using your brain instead of repeating that stupid song. T. There sure are lots of stories about LBJ and his peter. T. Masturbator's penis in hose chopped by fan blade of Hoover Dustette cleaner. T. This is dubbed the legend of "the Cleaner and the Leaner Wiener". U. Woman slits guy's scrotum, sticks straw in, and blows; he gets off on it... F. Child in mall goes to toilet; is abducted; has willie cut off. [TCD] F. Drunk joyriding on hood of car, loses parts to hood ornament at sudden stop. F. Wife seduces cheating husband then superglues his plonker while he sleeps. ["The Superglue Revenge" in TCD] T. Guy hurts self after sex w/machine drive belt, has self surgery w/stapler. Fb.Health worker in US/Africa demos condom usage to immigrants/natives w/a broom/finger. Woman returns pregnant. She had used EXACTLY as taught. U. Napoleon's wanker was cut off at autopsy and was recently auctioned off. F. Number of stars on _Playboy_ cover is # of times Hef banged the centerfold. T. ...It's a distribution code. T. Public boners are banned in Indiana. Law upheld by US Supreme Court. T. Couple on UK train had oral sex, then sex, then smoked in non-smoking area, F. ...nobody complained until they started smoking; T. ...train crew ignored complaints until couple started smoking. F. Young man is at dinner party w/future in-laws. His fiance says his zipper ...is unzipped. He attempts to distract them by pointing out the window ...and calling out "Look at that!" Where 2 dogs are doing the nasty, or ...he slyly zips up his fly, but when he gets up, drags the table cloth off ...'cause he trapped the cloth in his fly! ["Nudes and More Nudes" in TVH] F. Woman reports to emergency room and sez diaphram is stuck. Drs. remove it to find it's covered with grape jelly. Directions said to "...use w/jelly." Tb.Andy Wardley has a smashed^H^Hing winky. HIDE THE SALAMI U. Cuckolded husband replaces contents of wife's pessaries with lye. T. Mad doctor in Ohio cut off womens' clitoral hoods while operating on them. T. People put assorted objects up their asses, get stuck, removed in hospital. F. Well-known film star et al. put a gerbil up his ass for "wriggly furry fun" ["The Colo-Rectal Mouse" in TMP. Related entries in LEGAL BEAGLES] T. ...I. York found an unsubstantiated reference in a 1986 book by Dr. Caleel. T. Search of Medline in December 1993 using key words "anus, rectum, rodent, gerbil" showed no such incident ever found. Lots of other stuff though. F. Well-known male pop star rushed from concert, stomach pumped free of semen. [Said of Elton John, Rod Stewart, David Lee Roth, and Marc Almond.] F. Spanish fly (Cantharides) is aphrodisiac (actually genital tract irritant). F. Girl slipped spanish fly at drive-in movie; found impaled on gear shift. ["Miscellaneous Sex Legends" in TCD] F. Woman tied naked to bed, man in superhero costume with broken leg in closet. T. Var: guy is seduced by woman, tied to bed, and sodomized by "superhero." T. ...Similar motif in Stephen King's novel _Gerald's Game_. Fb.Hetero couple get stuck together while coupling. Separated at hospital. ["The Stuck Couple" in TCD] F. One night stand, partner leaves early, other partner finds msg "Welcome to the world of AIDS". ["AIDS Mary" in CBA] Fb.Female gang initiation ceremony is to screw an HIV+ male member. F. Student is regularly nocturnally chloroformed by roommate, for sodomy. Tb....This may have actually happened in the Dutch army. Those officers! F. `Baghdad Betty' told US army that Bart Simpson was sleeping with their wives Tb.Would-be rapist steals kisses; one Calif victim bit a piece off his tongue. F. Man fills wife's lover's convertible with concrete. ["The Solid Cement Cadillac" in TVH] T. Woman's womb filled with air during cunnilingus; she dies due to embolism. F. Woman impregnated while swimming, due to sperm loose in pool. F. Woman impregnated when hit by bullet that shot Civil War soldier's testicles ["Miscellaneous Sex Legends" in TCD] Tb.Unintentional virgin birth happens occasionally in bizarre circumstances. Tb.E.g. vagina-less woman,fellates lover, stabbed in gut by boyfriend,pregnant! F. Silicone breasts expand under low pressure (eg. airline stewardesses on job) U. Mother threatens to discipline kid;kid threatens to squeal on mom's fellatio. F. Husband informed that septic tank/toilet blockage due to too many condoms; but he doesn't use them; confronts wife, she confesses affair w/milkman. He waits and shoots milkman next day; but it was a substitute milkman! ["The Evidence" in TMP] F. Couple goes to "love" hotel w/hot tub, mirrors, etc. Make the sign of the eight legged aardvark. Upon return, call up an X-movie and see themselves! ["Sex Scandals" in TCD] F. A guy picks up a girl at a party. But is unable to "perform" so asks a friend at the party to finish it for him. His friend does so and in the morning, finds that he slept with his sister! Similar motif happens in a halloween or other costumed ball setting. [This and related ULs relating to mistaken identities are discussed in "Mistaken Identity" in CBA.] F. There was a significant increase in NYC births about 9 months after 1965 Blackout. ["The Baby Train" in TBT.] Tb.A town in Oregon banned all sex. Tb.Rimming (oral/anal contact) is legal in Utah. F. Catherine the Great died while trying to have something to do with a horse. Fb....Mr. Ed was descended from that horse. F. For some reason, a woman is doing the laundry in the nude. She puts on her son's football helmet, and is surprised by plumber/gas man who says some- thing like "I hope your team wins, lady." ["Nudes and More Nudes" in TVH] F. Some subdenomination of Jews have sex through a sheet. (See soc.culture. jewish FAQ). DISNEY DEMENTIA [AND OTHER AMUSEMENT PARK STORIES] T. Disney parks are riddled with secret tunnels and surveillance equipment. T.*"Little Mermaid" video cover features good drawing of penis. Prank? Revenge? T. There is a basketball hoop at the top of the Matterhorn replica. T. Male Disneyites may not grow beards (& many other petty rules for women too) [Applies only to "On Stage" cast members.] T. There is a "secret" "Club 33" serving hard liquor, in New Orleans Square, Disneyland. T. Clerics in their robes are admitted to Disneyland at concessionary rates. T. Wheelchairs & 1 attendant go to the front of the line for rides. Tb.Disney ripped off Orlando county, thru grabbing Federal road funds T. Woman alleges breast-fondling by 1/3 of 3 Little Pigs; case thrown out. F. Three little pigs clit-tickled law-suit happy babe, with non-mobile arms. F. Child disappears from Disneyland, found with new haircut, dyed by abductor. T. SF writer Harlan Ellison fired from Dismall Studios after Mickey porn joke. T. Harlan Ellison was ticked to hell at snopes. T. Lots of people don't know who H. Ellison is. Lots more don't care. F.*Old Walt Disney's dead body was frozen for later revivification. F. Child goes for ride on popular ride; feels bites; dies from snake bites! F. Water in "Tunnel of Love" ride infested with snakes. [Both in "Death in the Funhouse" in _CBA_.Stephanie da Silva says this really happened to her.] T. Disney caused people to believe that Lemmings suicide in march to sea. QUESTION AUTHORITY (AND OTHER CONSPIRACIES) U. CIA fixed the Anarchist's Cookbook, so explosive blows up as you make it. T. You may *own* the mailbox, but US Postal Service controls what goes in it. T. The CIA, NSA and 11 different secret govt organizations tap & bug everything T. Princess Anne was only female competitor not given sex test in 1976 Olympics F. Guy/gal wakes up in Big City, a kidney has been stolen from him! T. ...Common variation now is Americans/Europeans/et al. stealing children from some poor (e.g., Guatamela) country for their organs. Fb.Hubbard started Scientology after Heinlein bet he couldn't found a religion. Bill Van Horne actually posted some useful stuff that I used to change this. T. alt.religion.scientology FAQ sez "F," but I haven't been converted yet. F. P&G's logo reflects Satanic or Moonie ties. F. P&G's "president" appeared on "Donahue" to affirm same. ["The Procter & Gamble Trademark" in TCD] F. On "Oprah" designer Liz Claiborne said her clothes were not designed for black women because their "hips were too big". F. On "Oprah" designer Liz Claiborne said she supports the KKK. Tb.Candy manufacturers sneakily micro-reduce size of product to gyp you. F. Universal Product Codes (computer readable bar-codes) are marks of Satan. P. VP Bush persuaded Iranians to delay hostage release to aid Reagan election. U. Govt has secret plan to replace the currency overnight to foil drug barons. Tb.CIA radio transmits spoken five digit code numbers to operatives worldwide T. You can send a coconut thru the mail without any further wrapping. Yowser! F. Sticking one of those "Postage Paid" reply cards on a heavy object (e.g., a brick) will cost the addressee the postage. [Nope, USPS tosses it.] T. Some change-making machines can be fooled by photocopies of currency. T. NSA leaned on NIST to propose less secure digital signature standard than RSA. T. After a public outcry, NIST allowed a longer key (up to 1024 bits) which made it into the digital signature standard FIPS-186 Tb. The reason DSA was used for digital signatures rather than the more proven RSA algorithm was that NSA opposes easy public access to an algorithm that can also be used for general encryption. (RSA can/DSA can't). F. Unification Church (i.e. Moonies) owns Entenmann's bakery F. Unification Church (i.e. Moonies) owns Waldenbooks. Tb.Unification Church (i.e. Moonies) owns a fish processing plant in Gloucester, Massachusetts. U. Those guys selling roses on roads are connected with the Moonies. T. Entenmann's owned by General Foods, Philip Morris bought, merged w/ Kraft. F.*Ship captains, on their own authority, can perform marriages. F. Govt cabbage price memo lots longer than var. patriotic/religious documents. ["The Price of Cabbage Memo" under "Government Legends" in TCD.] F. Govt regularly burns WWII-era hemp fields. Only high officials know where. F. If you are the first to read this and send me e-mail, you will receive $10. Fb.Class requests satellite imaging photo; US says "no";(then) USSR says "yes". F. Compensation paid to kin of Salem witches up to 1957 (per _The Economist_). F. Alleged witches were burned at the stake in the US during the Salem trials. T. Alleged witches were hanged or pressed to death. T. Mass. recanted the Salem trials and freed the witches within a few years T. Name of last alleged witch was cleared in 1957. Tb.Whole business is extraordinarily similar to modern accusations of Satanism. T. Crop circles (at least in the UK) have been shown to be man-made. T.*Mapmakers place copyright traps in maps (e.g., Rand-McNally, no. Thomas Maps, yes) U. Several noted movies have "death curses" on them. Fb.Major firms/gov't suppress evidence of a super great product(car,light,etc.) ["The Economical Car" in TVH and CBA] T. The USA did have a 49 star flag. Tb.There really is a place called "Wyoming." F. Some 1963 $1 bills have a 'K' for JFK, 11 for month of death to commemorate JFK. ["The Kennedy Note" in TMP] T. Channel 1 for TV existed in the US, but was eliminated by the FCC in 1945. U. Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. F. An undercover cop must answer yes to "Are you a cop?" to avoid entrapment. Fb.Guy dodges draft by eating peanut butter/hotdog from rectum in front of MD. F. There was once a female Pope in the Roman Catholic Church. F.*Noted atheist Madalyn Murray O'Hair is petitioning the FCC to ban religious broadcasting. F.*U.S. Patent Office head once said that it be closed because "Everything that can be invented has been invented." F. It's illegal to pick Trilliums in Ontario, Canada. U. Lots of places are supposedly either 3rd or 22nd to be bombed in WWIII. F. Ads for "free pets" are frequently answered by testing labs for specimens. T. Gerald Ford did have a vice president(who is mentioned elsewhere in the FAQ) T. Bank policies on ATMs work differently in different areas. F. The king of Denmark wore a yellow star in solidarity with Jews in WWII. T. There were (are?) Japanese soldiers hiding out on isles in Pacific who believed WWII was still on. F. The Trilateral Commission is working to take over the world. F. Ditto for the Council on Foreign Relations. F. Queen Victoria so loved _Alice in Wonderland_ she requested copies of all Lewis Carroll's books. Was ticked with copy of _Symbolic Logic_. F. You can tell if a big op. is happening at US gov't by level of pizza orders. T. Craig Becker once went nuts and bought a whole shitload of Jack Chick comix. T. Canadians sure seem to get worked up about this "50-40" business. T. People can just ramble on about Jehovah's Witnesses & getting rid of 'em. T. AFUBOT. F. Mary Baker Eddy (Christian Science) was buried w/a phone so she could her followers from "The Other Side." U. There may or may not have been an AFU EAST. I need $$ to find out. T. There are many, many anecdotal stories descrbing why US$2 bills are unlucky. F. Story involving a page or an elevator operator telling US Rep. Fred "Love Boat" Grandy "Lido Deck, sir?" or "Promenade Deck, sir?" subsequently being fired. F. Adolf Hitler intentionally snubbed Jesse Owens by refusing to shake hands with him in the 1936 Olympics. T. Hitler didn't shake hands with any athletes after the first day of competition, and Jesse didn't win anything until the second. Hitler did, however, snub another black American athlete, Cornelius Johnson. LEGAL BEAGLES [See also WILD LIFE, STUPID PEOPLE TRICKS, and SNUFF] T. If you have questions about copyrights, you should really check out Terry Carroll's copyright FAQ in misc.legal. F. Guy trims hedges with lawnmower but trims own extremities; sues; wins big! ["The Lawnmower Accident", TMP,"Media Sources and Business Legends" in TCD] T. Check in various legal databases shows no such case appealed. Tb.Some people think researching the most trivial legal point is great fun. F. There are legal limits on how much of your debts you can pay in coins (US) T. ...Though some Treasury PR flack did imply otherwise for pennies and nickels. T. ...but there have been legal limits on how much coin a creditor must accept. T.*...For some strange reason, Canadian law is much clearer on this topic. T. Woman sued drink co.; she was blinded by bottle cap after opening w/pliers. F. The US has 70% of world's lawyers. U. U.S. Supreme Court ruled that "professional wrestling" was entertainment, not sport. T. Gerbils are illegal in California.[CA Reg. Title 14, Sec. 671 (c)(2)(J) 1]. Tb.Gerbils are trained to sniff drugs in Canada. Those Canadians! F. You must be hit thrice before retaliation can be construed as self-defense. Fb.Hackers couldn't be convicted because system had "Welcome to X system" msg. ...therefore systems now have legal notices instead. WILD LIFE IN THE FAST LANE F. As part of initiation, potential gang members drive around with headlights off at night and will shoot people who flash headlights at them. T. There seem to be quite a few warnings about fatal gang initiations lately. [e.g., flashing headlights, clothing, etc.] T. Not surprisingly, other ULs (e.g., "Killer in the Backseat", ankle tendon slashers, etc.) have emerged with "gang initiation" motifs. Fb.Schoolkid beheaded by road sign,due to sticking his head out the bus window. T. Oregon Highway Div blows up eight ton dead whale, showers area with blubber. T. See D. Barry's column and an *.avi file on available at cathouse.org. Fb.Gas (petrol) engines pollute the same as diesel; diesel just smells worse. Tb.Diesel engines emit more unburnt hydrocarbons than gas ones w/catalytic conv Ft.Power windows in cars trap kids' limbs, necks. Kill or maim them. T. A 2 yr-old girl was killed by a power window in a Fiat in the UK in May 1992 F. Stop signs with a white border are optional. (Oh, I don't think so...) F. Leaving car radio on when the ignition switch is off will drain battery. [Exc. VWs, etc. where the radio is not switched thru the ignition switch.] Tb.Airbag in car can give you a chemical burn when it deploys. U. Driver sets cruise control, wrongly believes it steers too! Crashes... ["'Cruise Control' Stories" in TCD.] Tb.Tree-lined French avenue triggers epileptic fits by flickering light at 11Hz F. The VW Beetle was designed by Hitler. [It was designed by F. Porsche.] T. Hitler did push the idea of the Beetle as a "people's car" though perhaps solely for propaganda purposes. Fb.New car rattles -- note found in door frame from factory saboteur... ["The Rattle in the Cadillac" in TCD.Classic UL always involves a luxury car T. Montana has a token $5 fine for exceeding Federal 55mph limit. T. Mongo-power engine installed in weenie-looking car. Blows off Corvettes. T. John Somebody-or-other built car called "the Beast" with 27lt Spitfire engine T. It eventually took off, and self-destructed on the A27 outside Brighton. T. Special equipment can transmit any reading you want to police radar gun. T. There are traffic lights with green on top in a few US Irish neighborhoods. T. You can be guilty of DUI on a bicycle, horse, perambulator, etc most places. T. Guy in Los Alamos labs fitted a jet engine to Honda Civic, ran on salt flats. U. Person fitted rocket/JATO unit to car, embedded in rockface at first bend. Fb.Man working on roof ropes himself to car on other side;wife drives off.Splat. T. The "man on roof" appeared on a home video show in UK. Believed to be staged. F. Hitchhiker disappears, is ghost of person killed years ago in road accident. ["The Vanishing Hitchhiker" in TVH and TMP] F. Valuable classic car sold for pittance by (1) grieving parents of war dead F,U(2) spouse of errant husband (3) heirs of person who died and rotted in it. Fb.(4) sold by widow who would receive either car or proceeds of its sale. ["The Death Car" and "The Philanderer's Porsche" in TVH. "The Bargain Sports Car" in CBA] F. Psycho's handhook hanging from the car door, broken off as couple drove away ["The Hook" in TVH] F. Carthief squashed dead in stolen BMW by collapsing freeway in '89 SF quake F. Driving barefoot is illegal most places (Nope, but it's dumb to goad cops) F. Driving barefoot is illegal in the USA. T. New York car thief stole lab delivery of cadaver heads... U. Red sports cars generate disproportionate number of speeding tickets. F. Man crashes into toll booth while receiving fellatio from girlfriend. Fb.Flashing your headlights will cause a traffic light to change faster. T. It's really no big deal that there are towns named "Intercourse" and "Blue Ball" in Pennsylvania. Post it to misc.misc if you can't resist. Tb.There are some lights w/sensors for emergency vehicles. Tb.There're lots folk remedies to plug up old radiators: cigarettes, pepper. T. Lots of places have weird street names. T. You can find lots of weird msgs on license plates if you try really hard. T. "SIGAlerts" in the greater LA area are named for a guy named Loyd Sigmon. F. Couple's car out of gas; he gets help; she hears noise, then cops arrive; tell her to leave & not look back; she does, sees him hanging or decapitated. ["The Boyfriend's Death" in TVH] F. Guy tries to siphon gas from an RV but instead siphons from the septic tank; found unconscious by RV next morning. Tb."Maintenance-Free" batteries were invented for cheaper transport of new cars F. Police officer pulls over female driver. She asks about tickets to a policemen's ball, he replies "Policemen don't have balls" and he leaves flustered (or she is totally embarassed). ["Miscellaneous Sex Legends" TCD] Fb.Woman gets in her car at night; is followed on the way home; calls for help; husband accosts the guy; guy was trying to warn woman of thug in backseat of her car. ["The Killer in the Back Seat", TVH] Fb.Parking spot taken from older woman by two younger women. They tell her "Sorry we're younger and faster." Woman reflects, rams their car, and replies "I'm older and richer". [Several variations on the repartee.] ["Old vs. Young" in TMP and also used in the film "Fried Green Tomatoes".] F. A motorcyclist at high speed hits a fly which goes to his brain via his eye. F. An auto worker steals parts of a Caddy bit by bit until he has a whole car. U. Fancy car has "No Radio" sign. Owner returns to broken windshield and "No Windshield"/"Get One" or "Just Checking" sign. Fb.Truck gets stuck at low bridge. Noone knows what to do; a young kid suggests letting the air out of the tires. U. UK people drive on the left (etc) to allow easy sword access in old days. F. Someone never gets tickets because his license plates say "NONE". Tb.Freon can be used to break Kryptonite locks. F. In great desperation, mother lifts car off and rescues trapped child. F. Woman picks up elderly woman hitchhiker; sees that HH has hairy arms; gets HH out on pretense;takes off;later finds cleaver/hatchet/knife in seat. ["The Hairy Armed Hitchhiker" in TCD.] F. Couple w/baby on long trip stops to switch places; place baby on roof; they forget it up there! Police cruiser pull them over and baby is rescued. ["The Baby on the Roof" in TCD.] F. Grandma dies on long family trip; they strap body to roof; car is stolen! ["The Runaway Grandmother" in TVH.] T. "The Club" is lame because a thief could cut through the wheel in no time. T. You sure gets lots of junk when you ask about US highway numbering schemes. T. Not many threads are dumber than [non]funny place and street names... ...except for "names in phonebooks." F. Rolls-Royce will go to great extremes to fix problems and deny that there were any problems to protect their image. F. There are various extremely harsh penalities (e.g., execution) for drunk driving in other countries (e.g., Turkey, Norway, El Salvador, etc.) T. ...this story is commonly spread via flyers. LEGENDS ABOUT NATATORY CAPABILITIES OF LARGE ANTHROPOID PRIMATES Tb.Gorillas can't swim. T. Certain tribes of Japanese macaques sift their grain in the sea. Fb.Many simians hold regular swimming contests; winners mate w/ choice females. Tb....Losers go on "The Love Connection." T. Some monkeys prefer not to swim at all; will drown if dropped in water. P. Chimpanzee muscles are formed in a way that renders backstroke impossible. T. "Baywatch" proves that apes share at least 95% of DNA with humans. T. Lee "Cow Pie King" Rudolph is the 100th lemur. ASTOUNDING AVIAN ANOMALIES F. Birds cannot sing while on the ground. Tb.Govt forces commercial birdseed to be irradiated to stop hemp seed sprouting T. Radar emissions can kill birds, sterilize sailors, fry other small mammals. T. Chickens are easily mesmerized. Whoopee. F. Sprinkle salt on a bird's tail to catch it by preventing it flying away. T. If the bird let you get close enough to salt its tail, you could grab it. F. Seagulls (and other creatures) explode when you feed them Alka-Seltzer, rice, or "pop-rocks" - dried coconuts?.["The Death of Little Mikey" in TCD]. F. Birds won't sit on their nests if you touch one of their eggs. F. The resonance frequency of a chicken's skull cavity is ~7 Hz. Tb.Some birds get drunk by eating partly fermented berries/fruits. DOGGIE-STYLE and CATTY-WUMPUSS [See also LEWD FOOD] F. Dalmatians and humans are the only mammals whose urine contain urea. Tb.Dalmatians and humans are the only mammals who cannot break down uric acid into its soluble form, "allantoin." U. Old/ditzy woman puts dog in microwave to dry it out- it dies gruesome death/lives to bark again. ["The Pet (or Baby) in the Oven" and "Hot Dog" in TVH. Also "I Read It in the Paper" in TCD.] T. Cruel people and other weirdos will microwave pets. This is not a surprise. T. A Baltimore lawyer was busted for microwaving a kitten in January 1992. F. A Doberman chokes on fingers that it bit off burglar hidden in closet. ["The Choking Doberman" in, surprise! TCD and TMP] F. Plastic/glass water bottles on lawn prevent dogs urinating in the area. ["Lawn Order in New Zealand (and elsewhere)" in CBA] F. The scent of wolf dung terrifies dogs, so disposal by zoos is regulated. T. Radioactive cat litter found in May 1991 in Berkeley, Calif U. Source of the litter was radioactive cat food? Cat on radiation therapy? T. Days-old body in home discovered headless. Was eaten by dog! T. Cats can carry a parasite (toxoplasmosis) which is esp.dangerous to fetuses. Tb.Aspirin is very bad for cats (slow removal of salicyates from their bodies). Tb.Dog gets shock from phone line, urinates, phone rings! F. Woman's cat dies. She puts it in a shopping bag/box to take it to the country for burial. On the way, she stops at a store and puts the bag down. She turns around and bag is shoplifted. ["The Dead Cat in the Package" in TVH. There's an amusing ending in one of the stories.] T. Many variations on above with urine samples in bottles and bags of garbage. F. Cat steals some dinner, turns up dead, guests' stomachs pumped; but cat had been run over by neighbor and posed, so as not to ruin dinner party. Tb.In WW2, Russians fed dogs under tanks, then released them in battle with anti-tank explosives having an antenna-like trigger on their backs. Tb.Dogs ran under wrong ones, German tanks didn't smell like Russian tanks. T. Most Russian tanks were diesel, most German ones weren't. T. German high command counters by spreading rabies rumors, encouraging soldiers to shoot every dog they see. T. Some animal shelters have prohibited the adoption of cats during Halloween to avoid cruelty by "Satanists." Robin Colleen Moore is on the lookout. F. Firemen rescue old lady's cat from tree. She invites them for tea. They run over cat when they leave. ["The Bungled Rescue of the Cat" in CBA] T. ...it is reported as happening in S. Pile's _The Book of Heroic Failures_. T. Cats and rabbits do not interbreed, though rabbits will hump anything warm. OTHER ANIMAL (BUT NON-BUGGY) CRACKERS U. Every animal has enough brains in its head to preserve its own hide. F. Dead rabbit next door dug up by dog;washed, put in cage by frantic dogowner. ["The Hare Drier" in CBA.] F. Killer whales will attack swimming dogs because they stink like hell. F. Fox frees itself of fleas by gradual immersion, shifting fleas to lintball. Fb.Driver runs over exotic animal,wraps in coat for fun photo;it revives, runs off! Similar story: A hunter poses for picture w/deer w/rifle in antlers. Fb.Farmer asks hunter to shoot mule; other hunter shoots another mule too. T. Armadillos can contract leprosy. Tb.Armadillos can spread leprosy to humans. Tb.Cow-tipping (pushing over a sleeping cow) has happened. Tb.Cow-tipping is usually just a bunch of hooey to beguile city kids. Tb.Candiru fish, native to S. America, can swim into your urethra. T. Fainting goats are real. Crimony! T. Galapagos turtles do moan and groan during copulation. F. Guinea pigs' eyes fall out if you hold them up by their tails. T. Guinea pigs actually *do* have small stumpy vestigial tails. Take a look! Fb.Horse falls thru bottom of moving trailer, legs ground to stumps. Fb.Otter, newly-released after $50K Valdez clean-up, is eaten by whale. T. Rats cannot vomit (the basis for many rat poisons). F.*There are [albino] alligators inhabiting the sewers of New York City. [TVH] T.*Alligators were once found in the sewers of New York City. T. There sure seem to be lots of stories about pigeons. T. Sewer rats can come into the house and bite one's behind while on the potty. U. Litter from released balloons choke and kill whales, birds, etc. F. [Domesticated] turkeys are so dumb,they'll drown if they're out in the rain. Fb.Trapper ties dynamite to coyote, releases; coyote runs under his car/house. ["The Coyote's Revenge" in TCD. Similar ULs with rabbits, raccoons, fish, etc. exist and are traced back to an old motif involving a cat in TMP] F. Woman found a rat in Mexico and brought it home thinking it was a dog. ["The Mexican Pet" in, surprise! TMP] F. Baby elephant escapes from circus; sits on VW;front/roof dented;later police stop owner and ask what happened? ["The Elephant that Sat on a VW" in TCD.] T. Rachel Perkins has seen blow-up sheep dolls. F. A snake was sewn into a (esp. foreign-made) coat in a store and bites a customer. BAIT SHOP [THINK VERY CAREFULLY BEFORE POSTING TO THESE THREADS] T. The etymology of "POSH." T. Three-sided records. T. Most anything to do with "Star Trek." T. Cow tipping. T. Anything by that forgettable pulp author, Kurt Vonnegut. ARTHROPOD CRACKERS T. Really big insects (snakes too) can get imported along with fruit shipments. F. Bugs congregate in the pointy ends of bananas, so discard before eating. F. Dragonflies ("darning needles") can sting you very severely. T. Only hymenopterans sting. A large dragonfly may be strong enough to pinch. F. If a dragonfly or a ladybug lands on you, you will have good luck. T. "Killer" African bees are swarming into Texas from down South. T. A lot of people have found live or dead insects in their fast food snacks. T. Cockroaches love coffee, live in TV's, too often get in your cup or food. T. Insect lays eggs in open wound; months later baby insects eat their way out. Variation: Woman gets bitten, after insects out, she dies/has breakdown/ watches Oprah. ["The Spider Bite" in TMP] F. Cactus shakes, then explodes with hundreds of scorpions/spiders. ["Spiders in the Yucca" in TMP] F. Explorer gets bug in ear; bug eats thru to other ear; gave birth on way... [Various ULs of this type under "A Bug in the Ear" in _CBA_] F. A woman w/beehive hairdo is so proud of it she doesn't wash her hair; she dies from bees/spiders in it. [Variations on bug and ethnicity also noted.] ["The Spider in the Hairdo" in TVH] Fb.Lobsters,dropped in boiling water, scream.(Nah, it's steam from under shell) Fb.Moth/butterfly scales from wings will poison or blind you. Fb.There are US state laws making it illegal to kill/capture praying mantises. T. The bite of the Brown Recluse spider is nasty. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Frequently Asked Questions List has been maintained by Terry Chan since July 1991. Its inception and spirit was due to the efforts of Peter van der Linden in February 1991. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- COPYRIGHT STUFF: ---------------- Copyright (c) 1995, Terry Chan and Peter van der Linden. All Rights Reserved. Permission for personal, educational or non- profit use is granted provided this this copyright and notice are included in its entirety and remains unaltered. All other uses must receive prior permission in writing from both Terry Chan (at tchan@dante.lbl.gov and twchan@quake.net) and Peter van der Linden (at linden@eng.sun.com). Licensing terms on request. Path: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!hookup!news.Direct.CA!scipio.cyberstore.ca!vanbc.wimsey.com!news.bc.net!news.mic.ucla.edu!nntp.club.cc.cmu.edu!cantaloupe.srv.cs.cmu.edu!das-news2.harvard.edu!news2.near.net!news.mathworks.com!usenet.eel.ufl.edu!news-feed-1.peachnet.edu!gatech!howland.reston.ans.net!math.ohio-state.edu!uwm.edu!lll-winken.llnl.gov!overload.lbl.gov!news From: twchan@quake.net Newsgroups: alt.folklore.urban,news.answers,alt.answers Subject: alt.folklore.urban Frequently Asked Questions Followup-To: alt.folklore.urban Date: 13 Apr 1995 01:02:17 GMT Organization: Department of Redundancy Department Lines: 228 Approved: news-answers-request@MIT.Edu Expires: 30 April 1995 Message-ID: <3mht6p$7hs@overload.lbl.gov> Reply-To: twchan@quake.net (Terry Chan) NNTP-Posting-Host: tennyson.lbl.gov Summary: Urban legends supported, challenged and debunked Please read before posting to AFU Xref: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu alt.folklore.urban:203632 news.answers:41881 alt.answers:8625 Archive-name: folklore-faq/part4 Last-Modified: 95/4/1 Version: 2.50 1 April 1995 INTRODUCTION: This is the last section of the four part Frequently Asked Questions list for alt.folklore.urban. This section credits posters who have contributed in the spirit of the newsgroup and also lists some basic references. Note, many of the ULs discussed in the FAQ list as being "F" or "T" are discussed in one of the following references. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- PART IV: CREDITS AND SOME REFERENCES ============================================================================ Many Thanks to the Following Posters for Relevant Information on the FAQ List and for Contributing to the Overall Spirit and Quality of alt.folklore.urban. ============================================================================ Bo Bradham, Jane Beckman, Steven Bellovin, Conrad Black, Mark Brader, Jean- Louis Brodu, Danny Burstein, Jack Campin, Raymond Chen, Joe Chew, Patrick S Clark, Guy Coates, Cathi A.Cook, Camilla A. Cracchiolo, Cindy Davies, Glenn Davis, Jeff Davis, Ray Depew, Scott Deerwester, Larry Doering, all the Terry's: Carroll, Chan, Monks, Wood, et al., David Esan, Clive Feather, Ted Frank, Greg Franklin, Alan Frisbie, Joel Furr, Kim Greer, Tom Greer, Dave Gross, Phil Gustafson, Barbara Hamel, Jason R. Heimbaugh, David A. Honigs, David B. Horvath, Wendy Foran Howard, Mark Israel, Richard Joltes, Jim Jones, Cynthia Kandolf, Diane Kelly, Phil Kernick, Ron Knight, David Lesher, Andrew Lewis, Dean "dino" Moore, Susan Mudgett, Bill Nelson, Tom Neff, Bob O'Brien, Jonathan Papai, Christophe Pettus, Lee Rudolph, saki, G. Paul Savage, Brian Scearce, Sean Smith, Randal Schwartz, Ken Shirriff, snopes, Doug Spindler, Haakon Styri, Derek Tearne, Bruce Tindall, Dwight Tovey, Peter van der Linden, Greg Widdicombe, and Dan Wright. OTHERS? Have you ever wondered how those people have gotten the name at the end of the FAQ list? They are people who are widely recognized as thoughtful posters of reliable information. They have consistently added value to various debates by sharing their point of view, and often researching difficult questions which arise on the net, and posting authoritative facts citing sources. The official way for joining the list of distinguished AFU-ers is to research a number of the unanswered questions that come now and then and reach a definitive conclusion (or demonstrate that one cannot be found). Post your findings. If your reports are sound, and have provide a reasonable contribution to the signal-to-noise ratio of the newsgroup, and the original question was non-trivial, you will be added to the acknowledgements section of the FAQ list! Be prepared to submit references. We are mostly adults here (except around the beginning of the academic year). Be prepared to discuss and debate your research and conclusions here. The unofficial way to get on the list is to give me a big payoff (and it better be more than two-fifty). INCREDIBLE NEW REFERENCE: Peter van der Linden, _Expert C Programming_, 1994, Prentice-Hall. ISBN 0-13-177429-8, paperback, 384 pages, US$32. An provocative and lively excursion into the depths of mental anguish and instability that give rise to urban legends such as C. Recommended for people of all ages and religious persuasions. If this isn't the most spine-tingling book you read this year, you haven't lived! So controversial that the Book of the Month Club won't even acknowledge it! Also by the same author: _The Official Handbook of Practical Jokes_ Signet, ISBN 0-451-15873-3, 1989, _The Second Official Handbook of Practical Jokes_, 1991, Signet, ISBN 0-451-16924-7. SOME PRIMARY FOLKLORE-SPECIFIC REFERENCES: ========================================== Simon J. Bronner, _Piled Higher and Deeper_, 1990, ISBN 0-87483-154-7, August House. Very readable and interesting collection of campus and academic folklore. Jan Harold Brunvand (_The Vanishing Hitchhiker_, 1981, ISBN 0-393-95169-3; _The Choking Doberman_, 1984, ISBN 0-393-30321-7; _The Mexican Pet_, 1986, ISBN 0-393-30542-2; _Curses! Broiled Again_, 1989, ISBN 0-393- 30711-5, _The Baby Train_, 1993, ISBN 0-393-03438-0; _The Study of American Folklore_, 3rd Ed., 1986, all published by W.W. Norton); _Folklore: A Study and Research Guide_, 1976, St. Martin's (out of print). JHB is one of the leading folklorists in this field today and has done much to popularize the study of ULs. Also has a great back hand and skis a mean "figure 11." Alan Dundes, _Cracking Jokes: Studies of Sick Humor Cycles and Stereotypes_, 1987, Ten Speed Press. Curious about what makes sick humor popular? Check this baby out so you'll be ready the next time an Olympian gets whacked with a crowbar. Alan Dundes and Carl Pagter, _Urban folklore from the Paperwork Empire_, 1975, American Folklore Society. You want it when? Find out about it and other Xerox lore in the modern (or not so modern) office in this series of collections by Dundes and Pagter. Beng af Klintberg, _R&ttan i Pizzan_ (The rat in the pizza. The '&' is an a-with-a-ring-above), Pan, 1990 ISBN 91-1-893831-0. Haakon Styri, maintainer of the Norway AFU ftp site says Bengt af Klintberg writes in a Brunvandish style. He lists 100 legends, unfortunately not classified by topic. Though many of the legends are well known in other parts of the world there are a few that may be European. Iona and Peter Opie, _The Lore and Language of School-Children_, Oxford, Clarendon P., 1972. Noted poster Jack Campin says: "This [book] has some mind-boggling figures on the speed and effectiveness of folklore transmission by kids." Paul Smith, _The Complete Book of Office Mis-practice_, 1984, London; Boston: Routledge & K. Paul, 1984. Covers some of the same subject matter as Dundes and Pagter. Other comments by Jack Campin: "He's also done a series of popular books with titles incorporating the phrase "Nasty Legends" (rather like Brunvand's stuff) and some heavyweight folklore theory in a series he edits called "Perspectives on Contemporary Legend" Smith has also co-authored two books with Gillian Bennett entitled, _Monsters with Iron Teeth_, 1988, and _Perspectives on Contemporary Legend_, 1987, both published by Sheffield Sheffield Academic Press. Patricia Turner, _I Heard It Through the Grapevine: Rumor in African- American Culture_, 1993, University of California Press. Provides interesting insights into the propagation of urban legends in African-American Culture. ISCLR: ====== The International Society for Contemporary Legend Research (ISCLR) has two publications of interest. _FOAFtale News_ is the newsletter of the society and contains information from around the world along with extensive bibliographies and reports and notes from other related publications. It is published quarterly. _Contemporary Legend_ is a refereed journal of scholarly articles on legends. It is edited by Paul Smith. Membership in ISCLR entitles one to both publications. For US and Canadian subscription information, write to: Paul Smith, Department of Folklore, Memorial University, St. John's, Newfoundland, CANADA A1C 5S7. Subscription rates as of July 1994 are US$18 or 10 pounds (UK). SOME GOOD PRIMARY REFERENCES: ============================= Cecil Adams (_The Straight Dope_, 1984, ISBN 0-345-33315-2, _More of the Straight Dope_, 1988, ISBN 0-345-35145-2, _Return of the Straight Dope_, all published by Ballantine Books). Author of "The Straight Dope" Q&A column of _The Chicago Reader_ and is syndicated in many alternative newspapers. Worth reading if only for for his writing style. Contrary to what you may read on a.f.u., he is not related to Marilyn vos "Idiot" Savant but he might be Monty Hall. You can e-mail his editor, Ed Zotti, at ezotti@merle.acns.nwu.edu. Alfie Kohn, _You Know What They Say...The Truth About Popular Beliefs_, 1990, ISBN 0-06-092115-3, Harper. Pretty good book with, get this, *references* to stuff in the back. This is a good habit which some of you folks may want to try sometime... Paul Krassner (ed.), _Best of the Realist_, 1984, ISBN 0-89471-287-X, Running Press. The worst thing about _BotR_, is that the reprints aren't dated. Otherwise the book is a must, especially for the generation X crowd: articles by Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Robert Anton Wilson, Terry Southern, Mae Brussel, and Margo St. James; art by Rodrigues, S. Clay Wilson, and the pre-carp Richard Guindon. Not to mention "The Parts Left Out of the Kennedy Book", "The Case of the Cock-Sure Groupies" (the Plaster Casters), and an illegal Groucho Marx quote: "I think the only hope this country has is Nixon's assassination." [Unfortunately, this appears to be out of print.] G. & C. Merriam Co., _Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary_, 1977, ISBN 0-87779-348-4. Great bedside reading. Check it out sometime. There's also the OED, but Bruce Tindall has first dibs on it. William Poundstone (_Big Secrets_, 1983, Quill, ISBN 0-688-04830-7, _Bigger Secrets_, 1986, Houghton-Mifflin, ISBN 0-395-53008-3, and _Biggest Secrets_, Quill (Wm. Morrow), ISBN 0-688-13792-X). Sorry, it's a secret. Peter Trei says the stuff on Masons is total BS, but then, he WOULD say that. Perhaps the weakest of the lot though still on target and somewhat interesting for the most part. Bruce Tindall and Mark Watson, _Did Mohawks Wear Mohawks? And Other Wonders, Plunders, and Blunders_, Quill - William and Morrow, 1991. ISBN 0-688-09859-2. Damn good book (even if his father did write _America: A Narrative History_) with only one wrong entry so far. Just don't believe what they say about dalmatians, humans, and urea. You can even e-mail Bruce on the net at tindall@mercury.interpath.net to blast 'im. And wouldn't you know it, the next installment which is appalling named _How Does Olive Oil Lose Its Virginity?_ is out. For even more GS check out ISBN #0-688-12681-2 by William and Morrow, 1994. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The AFU Frequently Asked Questions List has been maintained by Terry Chan since July 1991. Its inception and spirit was due to the efforts of Peter van der Linden in February 1991. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- COPYRIGHT STUFF: ---------------- Copyright (c) 1995, Terry Chan and Peter van der Linden. All Rights Reserved. Permission for personal, educational or non- profit use is granted provided this this copyright and notice are included in its entirety and remains unaltered. All other uses must receive prior permission in writing from both Terry Chan (at tChan@dante.lbl.gov or twchan@quake.net) and Peter van der Linden (at linden@eng.sun.com). Licensing terms on request.