linuxmafia.com 2016/linuxmafia.com.tar/linuxmafia.com/pub/jordan/Humor/jordan-paternity-case.txt

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From [e-mail]  Mon Jul 21 17:47:09 1997
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From: Judy E Ghirardelli <[e-mail]>
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Subject: Re: Announcing...
To: [e-mail] (Erica Sadun)
Date: Mon, 21 Jul 1997 21:55:05 -0400 (EDT)
Cc: [e-mail], [e-mail], [e-mail],
        [e-mail], [e-mail]
In-Reply-To: <v01540b00aff857fd4542@[207.69.221.129]> from "Erica Sadun" at Jul 20, 97 07:06:43 pm
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> Okay boys and girls, its time to announce the Emm-ster to rasfwr-j.  Your
> job (and you should choose to accept it!) is to suggest how.
>
> Love, -- Erica
> "the diaper weaves as the diaper weaves and all will leak from the cracks"

Okay, here it is.  I see no one has posted yet (at least no post with this
in the title has arrived at my site yet...).

This would be titled: Erica and Paternity, or Jordan mentioned on the AP
Wire.

Questions - is this too long?  Is it in bad-taste (don't answer that
Mark...).  Is it stoopid?  Is it too controversial, due to the heated
paternity posts from months ago?  Erica, if I have your blessing, I'll mail
it tomorrow (Tues evening) with whatever title you want.  If so, please
give me the birth details again (I did not save them, for shame...).

Judy

Here is my suggestion:

Erica and Paternity

Atlanta (AP)

A few months ago, a famous author was mentioned as a party in a
paternity suit on an Internet Newsgroup.  A Ms. E. Sadun first
publicly reported hearing something concerning said author and
questioned his behaviour.  Other members of the group immediately
began charging Ms. Sadun with libel and general poor-taste.
Ms. Sadun appeared frightened by the accusations and threats of
legal action, and immediately dropped her claims.

This reporter has since been investigating the situation and
felt it was necessary to inform the public of the facts that
were ascertained.

It appears that Ms. Sadun had a vested interest, shall we say,
in this claim.  She never once indicated the maternity
involved in the paternity suit.  Slipped her mind? one might
ask.  The casual reader might think such a thing was not of
importance to Ms. Sadun.  In fact, the _careful_ observer might
be suspicious of Ms. Sadun for leaving out such pertinent
information.  This reporter has learned that the mother of the
child whose paternity is being questioned is none other than Ms.
Sadun herself!

Yes, it is true.  Ms. Sadun was planning to argue paternity
with Mr. Jordan.  Upon interview of Ms. Sadun, she indicated
that it was a well known fact that she had met Mr. Jordan.  She
even claimed to have pictures. It was later found that these so-call
incriminating pictures were of her and Mr. Jordan (and about 10 other
people) in a public book store in Atlanta Georgia.  The two people in
question were not engaging in any physical contact, let alone anything
of an intimate nature, and were not even looking lustily at one another.

Mr. Jordan's official response at the time was "With all these crazy
female characters in my books, I have enough women to deal with.  I
certainly would not have looked for another!  For the record, I do
recall meeting Ms. Sadun.  She was noteworthy only because she asked me
to autograph a postcard addressed to 'Piglet'.  I meet alot of flaky
people on these book tours, and you get so that you can tell the loons
right off the bat.  Again, for the record, I have never had any personal
contact with Ms. Sadun and have never even been alone with her.  Whoever
the father of her child, IT IS NOT HERE.  Err, rather, it
is not I."

Later it was revealed that Ms. Sadun had listed on her resume her talent
of altering pictures, even giving the famous example of John Novak's head
on Rand Al'Thor's body. After that, even her 'proof' of pictures became suspect.
Ms. Sadun dropped the paternity case.

Which leads the inquisitive reader to wonder, what was the truth?  Was this
just a troll to liven up the newsgroup?  Was there true malicious intent
involved, as several posters suggested?

Again, in a follow-up interview with Ms. Sadun, she revealed that she
actually is pregnant, and was somewhat confused by the situation.  She admitted
that she had never been alone with Mr. Jordan, and had only met him at
book signings, and of course at the first DFS held in Washington DC (of
which one other woman and 5 men attended). How then could she think he
might be the responsible party?  It was then that she admitted with a blush
of her dreams of him in Tel'Arin'Rhiod, and how she vaguely recalled doing
the Far Snows Dance with him in a dream.  When asked if she ever had T'A'R
dreams of others, she replied "Well, of course.  I dream often of both Mark
Loy and Novak's HP calculator. But since the latter just seemed physically
unlikely, and I was already in trouble with HP and that last lawsuit, I found
it hard to believe that could be the cause.  Plus, we're just friends.
And the former thought it just too disturbing to give credit too.  That left Jordy.
The lesser of three evils, I suppose..." she said with a giggle, as she drank her
black coffee.

The reporter then asked her about other men she's been with in the last few
months. At this point Ms. Sadun replied "Well, there's only been my husband
Alberto..." at which point she clapped her hand to her head and was heard to
utter "Duh!".

At last, the patient reader knows the truth of both her accused poor-taste
hoax and her mysterious weight gain.

It is with great happiness that this reporter can announce that on the ____th
day of July (June?), a healthy baby girl named Emma _____ Sadun was born to
proud and joyful parents Erica and Alberto Sadun.  Emma weighed _____ pounds and
____ ounces and was _____ inches long at birth.

Join me in congratulating the Twin of my Soul ([e-mail]).

--- Investigative reporter Piglet

p.s. the suspicious reader will notice that the letters g and k and t never
are contiguous in this post. I hoax not.

--
        Judy Ghirardelli      ||    Love is Always , Me is Life
        [e-mail]       ||   Forever is just another Smile
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"It's Hard to be Brave when you're very flammable" - Piglet