linuxmafia.com 2016/linuxmafia.com.tar/linuxmafia.com/pub/humour/wichert/diagnosis

Text File | 2001-03-31 | 2KB | 42 lines

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts.
I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that.
There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything
quicker and cheaper than a doctor.  Simply put in a sample of your
urine,
and the computer will diagnose your
problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs
$10.00."Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine
sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the
sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noise and
various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small
slip of paper which read:
You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water,
avoid heavy labor.
It will be better in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was
and how it  would change medical science forever, he began to wonder
if this computer could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He
mixed
together:
*some tap water
*a stool sample from his dog
*and urine samples from his wife and daughter.  To top it off, he
masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug  store, located
the computer, poured in the sample, and deposited the $10.00.  The machine
again made the usual noises, flashed its lights, and printed out  the
following analysis:
Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener.
Your dog has ringworm.
Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
Your daughter is using cocaine.
Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant.......twin girls.
They aren't yours.
Get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better!!!