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1998-07-26
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640b
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26 lines
Subject: For our "special" Helpline Callers
Date: Tuesday, February 04, 1997 6:01AM
RING
RING
Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want.
Please stay on the line while we trace your call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will
tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press.
No one will answer.