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if-gm-were-like-microsoft
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INI File
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1998-12-10
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2KB
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44 lines
[Obviously apocryphal, but witty.]
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry, and stated: "If GM had kept up
with technology as the computer industry has, we would all be driving
twenty-five-dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Gates's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating (by Mr. Welch himself, the GM CEO): "If GM had developed
technology as Microsoft has, we would all be driving cars with the
following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to
buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought
'Car95' or 'CarNT.' But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable,
five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would run on
only five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single 'general car default' warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?", before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally (now a GM subsidiary) road maps, even though they
neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more.
Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice
Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn
how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as in the old car.
13. You'd press the 'Start' button to shut off the engine."