linuxmafia.com 2016/linuxmafia.com.tar/linuxmafia.com/pub/humour/haiku-error-messages

Internet Message Format | 1998-07-26 | 5KB

From: [e-mail] (Rick Moen)
Subject: Re: [svlug] hacker alert...
To: [e-mail] (Javilk)
Date: Tue, 17 Feb 1998 19:12:14 -0800 (PST)
Cc: [e-mail], [e-mail], [e-mail], [e-mail]

>> Cheers,               Everything is gone;
>> Rick Moen             Your life's work has been destroyed.
>> [e-mail]   Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
>>                        -- David Carlson (winner, haiku error message contest)
>
>     Work is not life.
>     Memories and roses endure
>     Transient loss.


_Five, seven, five_, a
Haiku's syllables unfold:
Glist'ning like the snow.




Here's the list of entrants:
[forwards snipped]

Date: Wed, 11 Feb 1998 09:40:55 -0800
From: Peter Thompson <[e-mail]>
Organization: Starfish Software
X-Mailer: Mozilla 4.04 [en] (Win95; U)
To: Peter Thompson <[e-mail]>
Subject: (fwd) Haiku Error Messages

W I N N E R S:

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

-- David Dixon
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

-- David Carlson


H O N O R A B L E   M E N T I O N S:

I'm sorry, there's -- um --
Insufficient -- what's-it-called?
The term eludes me ...

-- Owen Mathews
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

-- Peter Rothman
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again.

-- Chris Walsh
- - - - - - - - - - - -
The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

-- Barry L. Brumitt
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?

-- Pat Davis
- - - - - - - - - - - -
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

-- David J. Liszewski
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

-- Charlie Gibbs
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Server's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.

-- Rik Jespersen
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

-- Suzie Wagner
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
Enter this system.

-- Jason Axley
- - - - - - - - - - - -
This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
Have to delete you.

-- Charles Matthews
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Wind catches lily
Scatt'ring petals to the wind:
Segmentation fault.

-- Nick Sweeney
- - - - - - - - - - - -
ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

-- Mike Hagler
- - - - - - - - - - - -
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

-- Simon Firth
- - - - - - - - - - - -
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

-- Howard Korder
- - - - - - - - - - - -
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

-- Bill Torcaso
- - - - - - - - - - - -
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located but
Endless others exist.

-- Joy Rothke
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Stay the patient course:
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

-- David Ansel
- - - - - - - - - - - -
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

-- James Lopez
- - - - - - - - - - - -
There is a chasm
Of carbon and silicon
The software can't bridge.

-- Rahul Sonnad
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Yesterday it worked;
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

-- Margaret Segall
- - - - - - - - - - - -
To have no errors
Would be life without meaning.
No struggle, no joy.

-- Brian M. Porter
- - - - - - - - - - - -
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

-- Cass Whittington
- - - - - - - - - - - -
No keyboard present:
Hit F1 to continue.
Zen engineering?

-- Jim Griffith
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Hal, open the file.
Hal, open the damn file, Hal.
Open the, please Hal.

-- Jennifer Jo Lane
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

-- Francis Heaney
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

-- Judy Birmingham
- - - - - - - - - - - -
The ten thousand things,
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.

-- Jason Willoughby
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."

-- Len Dvorkin
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

-- Ian Hughes