home
***
CD-ROM
|
disk
|
FTP
|
other
***
search
/
linuxmafia.com 2016
/
linuxmafia.com.tar
/
linuxmafia.com
/
pub
/
humour
/
business-proposal
< prev
next >
Wrap
Text File
|
2002-08-19
|
2KB
|
47 lines
Dear Sir,
I am an Uruk of Mordor, charged with the discovery of
a number of valuable treasures within Moria. It has
come to my notice that the mithril hoard previously
owned by Ori of the land of Moria has been found by
one of our cave-trolls. Under our laws, the hoard will
be shared between our lord Sauron and the local
Balrog, but so far neither knows the extent of the
treasure.
Sir, I come to you as a respectful businessperson in
order that we may derive some profit ourselves from
this venture, I would wish that I could arrange for
the transfer of half of the find to yourself, costing
roughly 20,000 silver pennies. From this amount, I
will then arrange for a further such that 25% remains
your own, 5% goes for sundry costs (including hire of
strong Rohan horses for use in transportation), 5% is
given in bribe to the cave troll to ensure the
quantity reported to our respective Lords is adjusted,
65% belongs to myself and my fellow Orcs.
In order that this be accomplished, I ask only that
you provide details of:
Your willingness to participate in this venture,
Confirmation that you will not speak of this venture
to anyone else, or wear any magic rings,
Your race and land of residence,
The location of your local Palantir or identity of
your preferred message-carrying bird or beast,
Your given name, and any name you are known by in the
Western lands,
The number of ponies you possess.
I look forward to your returning correspondence, which
can be whispered to any passing magpie. I trust that
you will ensure that no other dark feathered birds
come to hear of this transaction.