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2002-09-29
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Date: Tue, 5 Jan 1999 11:13:48 -0800
From: Nick Moffitt <nick@zork.net>
To: crackmonkey@zork.net
Subject: [crackmonkey] [glen@qnx.com: Liverpool Supporter Standards]
Stop me if you've heard this one before...
----- Forwarded message from glen mccready <glen@qnx.com> -----
Forwarded-by: Lloyd Wood <L.Wood@surrey.ac.uk>
earliest-From: Virgil Porter <virgil.porter@wcom.com>
A Liverpool Football Club scout returns from Bosnia raving about a new
teenage superstar he's seen in the war torn country. Roy Evans,
Liverpool's manager, is convinced and is so desperate for no one else
to snatch the teenager up that he signs the boy without going and
looking at him for himself.
The boy arrives in Liverpool for Saturday's game, and is on the bench.
With ten minutes to go Fowler gets injured and is stretchered off.
Roy points to the new Bosnian boy: "This is your big chance, son. Go
out there and do the business for us!"
The lad strips off his shell suit and takes to the pitch. In those
dying minutes he's a revelation, scoring a hat trick.
The Kop goes mad.
After the game Evans gives the new boy a big hug in the changing
room. "Great performance son. Go and give your parents a ring at home
and tell them how well you've done. You're on the team permanently.
They'll be so proud of you. You can use the phone in my office".
The lad goes into the boss's office and rings his mum. "Mum, I've just
had the best debut; I scored a hat-trick... you don't sound very happy
though; why are you crying? Is everything okay?"
"No, son, today has been the worst yet. Your dad has been shot,
they've raped your sister, and the house has been burnt to the
ground."
"God, mum, that's terrible; I'm really sorry."
"So you should be. It was your idea for us to move to Liverpool!"
----- End forwarded message -----
--
* Progress (n.): The process through which Usenet has evolved from
smart people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of
smart terminals. -- obs@burnout.demon.co.uk (obscurity)
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