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Text File  |  1995-11-27  |  23KB  |  360 lines
  1.  
  2.  
  3.  
  4. ObJoke:  Why is it that when they show a computer ad they show computers and
  5. when they show a car ad they show cars but when they show a condom ad they
  6. show people playing tennis?
  7.                               _____                 _    _    ________________
  8.                             /   \\  \              / \  / \  /________________
  9.                           /       \\  \           //\ \//\ \// ___o___________
  10.                         /           \\  \        //  \_/  \_/ (_______________
  11.                        /              \\   \
  12.                      /                 \\    \                  |     |
  13.                     /                   \\    \                 |  O  |
  14.                    /                     \\    \                (--|--)
  15.                   /                       \\    \                  |
  16.                  /                         \\    \                / \
  17.           ^     /                           \\    \     ^
  18.          / \   /                              |    \   / \
  19.         /   \  |                              |    |  /   \        O__O
  20.        /_____\ |                              |    | /-----\       |oo|
  21.       ||||||||||                              |    ||||||||||      \  /
  22.       |       ||                ___           |    ||       |   () =\/=
  23.       |       ||              //|||\\         |    ||       |    \  ||   ()
  24.       |       ||             ///|||\\\        |    ||       |     \/  \__/
  25.       |       ||            /---------\       |    ||       |     |    |
  26.       |       ||           /    ooo    \      |    ||       |      \__/\_   /
  27.       |-------||          /             \     |    ||-------|      |  |  \_/
  28.       |       ||         /   //-----\\   \    |    ||       |    __|  |__
  29.       |       ||         .  //__|-|__\\  .    |    ||       |    ""    ""
  30.       |       ||         | //\/     \/\\ |    |    ||       |
  31.       |       ||         |  --       --  |    |    ||       |    []__|  |__[]
  32.       |       ||         |               |    |    ||       |   <  __    __  >
  33.       |       ||         |    _     _    |    |    ||       |   < |__|__|__| >
  34.       |       ||         |   (_)   (_)   |    |    ||       |   <  __|__|__  >
  35.       |       ||         |_______________|    |    ||       |   < |__|  |__| >
  36.       |-------||         |       |       |    |    ||-------|   <            >
  37.       |       ||        /|       |       |\   |    ||       |    V V VVVV V V
  38.       |       ||       //|       |       |\\  |    ||       |
  39.       |       ||      ///|_______|_______|\\\ |    ||       |       __   /
  40.       |       ||     /// |       |       | \\\|    ||       |      /  \/
  41.       |       ||    ///  |       |       |  \\\    ||       |    /   /  \
  42.       |       ||   ///   |       |       |   \\\   ||       |   |  __\_/___//_
  43.       |       ||  ///    |_______|_______|    \\\  ||       |    \/__/ \ //
  44.       |-------|| ///     |       |       |     \\\ ||-------|    /_/\__/
  45.       |       ||///      |       |       |      \\\||       |
  46.       |       |///       |       |       |       \\\|       |       |\_/|
  47.       |       ///        |_______|_______|        \\\       |     =( o O )=
  48.       |      ///         |       |       |         \\\      |      /\ " /\
  49.       |    ///           |       |       |           \\\    |     | |\_/| |
  50.       |  ///             |       |       |             \\\  |     \_>---<_/
  51.       |///   U S A       |       |       |     N A S A   \\\|     (___|___)
  52.      ///     [*]==       |---------------|                 \\\
  53.    ///       =====     /       \|||/       \   DISCOVERY     \\\
  54.  ///         =====    /         |||         \                  \\\
  55.  //                             |||                             \\
  56.  ||__________________|          |||          |__________________||     /\/\
  57.  |||||||||||||||||||||          |||          |||||||||||||||||||||    /  \ \
  58.  |        ||         |          |||          |         ||        |   / /\ \ \
  59.   \_______||_________|          |||          |_________||_______/    \ \ \/ /
  60.       |       |      |          |||          |      |       |         \ \  /
  61.       |-------|       \_________|||_________/       |-------|          \/\/
  62.       |-------|       /-------/-|||-\-------\       |-------|
  63.       |-------|    //           |||           \\    |-------|
  64.       |---|||-|   /    /    /    |    \    \    \   |-|||---|          /|\
  65.       /_______\   /  // /  /   |   |   \  \ \\  \   /_______\          \|/
  66.      ***********   / //    \ \  | |  / /      \\ \ ***********
  67.     *************  \ \ |  / \  \ | /  / \  | / /  *************
  68.    ***************  \ \ //  \    |   /   \\ / /  ***************       @..@
  69.   *****************  \  /     \ \ / /     \  /  *****************     (----)
  70.   ******************  \/       \ | /       \/   ******************   < I  I >
  71.  ******************** ||        \ /        ||  ********************    "  "
  72.  ********************  |        \ /        |   ********************
  73.  ********************           | |            ********************
  74.                                                           _____
  75.                                                /      /\  \    \
  76.            /  .    /_   /        o            /      /  \  \    \
  77.          /   /   /    /__      _/\_>         /      /____\  \___/_
  78.     /__/   /_/ /_/  /   / ....O,> / O       /      /      \  \    \
  79.                                            /____  /        \  \____\ S
  80.  
  81.       /~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/                 /~~~/
  82.      /                  /   Dodger        /   /
  83.      ~~~~~/       /    /~~~~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~~  /~~~~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~~\
  84.          /       /    /      /   /      /   /      /   /   /~~~~~/  /~~~/  /'
  85.         /       /    /      /   /      /   /      /   /     ~~~//    ~~~  /
  86.   /~~~~~     ~~~    /    ~~~   /    ~~~   /    ~~~   /  /~~~~~ /   /~~~\  \
  87.  /_________________/__________/__________/_____     /    ~~~~~/   /     \  \
  88.                   /~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   / ~~~~~~~~~~~~~       ~~~
  89.                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  90.  
  91. -------------------       ----------------               *
  92. |                 |      /                \             * `*
  93. |    --------------     /     /------\     \             * ` *
  94. |    |                  |    /        \    |              * ` `*---==={{{{{{{{
  95. |    -----------\       |    |        |    |                ****{{{{{{{{{{{{{{
  96. |                \      |    |        |    |              * ' '*---==={{{{{{{{
  97. ------------\     |     |    |        |    |             * ' *
  98.              |    |     |    \        /    |            * '*      o       o
  99. ------------/    / ---- \     \------/     /             *      /<         >\
  100. |               / |    | \                /                     \\\_______///
  101. ----------------   ----   ----------------                      //         \\
  102.  
  103. _________________________________________________________________________
  104.                                 __________
  105. ##   ##   ###   #####   #####   \********/   #####    ###    ##### ######
  106. ### ###  ## ##  ##  ## ##        \*/\/\*/    ##  ##  ## ##  ##     ##
  107. #######  ## ##  #####   ####       /\/\      #####   ## ##   ####  ####
  108. ## # ## ####### ##  ##     ##      \**/      ##  ## #######     ## ##
  109. ##   ## ##   ## ##  ## #####        \/       #####  ##   ## #####  ######
  110. _________________________________________________________________________
  111.                                                __          ___
  112. ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::    /  `         |  ~
  113. ::  ::::::::::::  :::        :::        ::   |             |   |
  114. :::  ::::  ::::  :::  ::::::::::::  ::::::   |   __        |---
  115. ::::  ::    ::  :::     :::::::::  :::::::    \__/ o on.   |___)ite  me.......
  116. :::::    ::    :::  ::::::::::::  ::::::::
  117. ::::::  ::::  :::        ::::::  :::::::::     ___
  118. ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::     |  \  _     .  _|
  119.                                              (_|__/_(_|_\/_|_(_|
  120.                                       /\
  121.                         ----------o  /  \                  __    ____________
  122.                                   + /\/\/\                / /\  /\  _________\
  123.                                  /\/      \              / /  \ \ \ \___ __  /
  124.              ___                /          \            / / /\ \ \ \ \  / / /
  125.     /\/\    /  /  /            /            \          / / /\ \ \ \ \ \/ / /
  126.    /   /   /  /  /      ---o  /              \        / /_/__\ \ \ \ \/ / /
  127.   /   /* \/__/* <___ *     + /                \      /________\ \ \ \  / /
  128.  ---------------------    /\/                  \     \___________\/  \/_/
  129.  
  130.       ____
  131.      /    >     /====\  |     |   /===\  |    |      CCCC         LL
  132.     / ---{      |    |  |     |  /     ) |    |     CC  CC        LL II
  133. ___/ ---{       |====/  |     |  \       |____|     CC            LL
  134. ___  ---{       |   \   |     |    \     |    |     CC      OOOO  LL II NN NN
  135.    \ ---{       |    \  |     | (    \   |    |     CC  CC OO  OO LL II NNN NN
  136.     \ ---{      |     \ \=====/  \====/  |    |      CCCC   OOOO  LL II NN  NN
  137.      \____>
  138.  
  139.                                        __________
  140.                             __________/VVVVVVVVVV\
  141.                            /VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV|
  142.                          /VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV/
  143.                        /VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV/
  144.                       |VVVV^^^^^^^^^^^^         |
  145.                      |                    vvvvvv\
  146.                      |     vvvvvvvVVVVVVVVVVVVVV/
  147.                      |/VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV|
  148.                      |VVVVVVV^^^^^^^^^^         |
  149.                       |V/                        \
  150.                       |             vvvvvvvvvvvvv|
  151.                        \  /VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV\
  152.                         \/VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV\____
  153.                          |VVVVVVVV^^^^^^^^^^___________)
  154.                      |\__|/ _____ //--------   \\xx/
  155.                      | xx\ /%%%%///   __     __  \\ \
  156.                      \_xxx %%%%  /   /  \   /  \    |
  157.                      / \x%%%%       ((0) ) ((0) )   |
  158.                     / #/|%%%%        \__/   \__/     \__  ______-------
  159.                     \#/ |%%%%             @@            \/
  160.                       _/%%%%                             |_____
  161.              ________/|%%%%                              |    -----___
  162.         -----         |%%%%     \___                  __/
  163.                    ___/\%%%%    /  --________________//
  164.              __----     \%%%%                     ___/
  165.             /             \%%%%                   _/
  166.                              \%%%%              _/
  167.                                \%%%%           /
  168.                                   \%%         |
  169.                                    |%%        |
  170.                           ASCII Art By Floyd (Jeff Fritz)
  171.  
  172.  
  173.              Oo                  -L-----L-            /\%%%%%%%%%%%\
  174.             OoOo               -L--L---L--L-         /;;\%%%%%%%%%%%\
  175. __/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/---L--L-L--L---__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/__/
  176. __/                        __/----L--L--L----__/                        __/
  177.  
  178.                     _                                 _            O      |"|
  179.                    | |                            ___| |___       /\      | |
  180.             /\     | |         __                / __| |__ \     /\ \-------|
  181.            /  \    | |        /  \              / /  | |  \ \   / / |-------|
  182.           / /\ \   | |___    / /\ \           _/_/__  v  __\_\_
  183.      __   \ \/ /_  |_____|  / / / /   /\     |______>   <______|
  184.     /  \   \  ___|          \ \/ /   /  \      \ \    ^    / /
  185.    / /\ \   \ \              \__/   / /\ \      \ \__| |__/ /
  186.    \ \/  \   \/                    /  \/ /       \___| |___/
  187.     \  /\ \                        \/|  /            |_|
  188.      \ \ \/                          |_|
  189.       \_|                                                 /\      /\
  190.  _______                               _______           /\/\  /\/\/\
  191. |______ |                             |  ___  |      /\ /    \/  \   \
  192.     __/ /                             | |   | |     /  \     /    \   \
  193.    |__ |                              | \   / /
  194.  _____\ \                              \ \_/ /
  195. |_______|                               \___/    /)                     (\
  196.                                        __       / )                     ( \
  197.          /\                           / /     _( (_    _           _    _) )_
  198.         /  \                         / /     (((\ \>  /_>         <_\  </ /)))
  199.        / /\ |                       /  \     (\\\\ \_/ /           \ \_/ ////)
  200.       /  \/ |    ___       _____   / /\ \     \       /             \       /
  201.      / /\  /    / _ \     |_   _|  \/  \ \     \    _/               \_    /
  202.      \ \/ /    / /_\ \      | |         \ \    /   /                   \   \
  203.       \__/    / _____ \     | |          \/   /   /                     \   \
  204.              / /     \ \   _| |_
  205.              \/       \/  |_____|            /|/| /||)|/  /~ /\| |\|)[~|)/~
  206.                                             / | |/ ||\|\  \_|\/|_|/|)[_|\\_|
  207.     _____                         .     .       mark goldberg
  208.    '    \\                  .                .                      |>>
  209.        O//             .                        .                   |
  210.       \_\          .                              .                 |
  211.       | |      .                                   .    .  .        |
  212.      /  |  .                                        . .      .      |
  213.     /  .|                                            .        ...o  |
  214. -------------------------------------------------------------------------
  215.  
  216.            _#      **MMp     g#00   `N##0"    _agN#0P0N#           _#L
  217.           g##       jN##    j##F     J##    _dN0"      "          g##L
  218.         _#]##      _0 ##L  jN##F     ###   g#0"                 _03##L
  219.        gE_j##      #  0## jF ##F    j##F  j##     ______       gE_j##L
  220.      _0"""N##     d"  J##L0  ##F    0##   0##     "9##F"     _0"""5##L
  221.    _gF    ]##    jF    ##0   ##F    ##F   `##k     d##     _gF    j##L
  222.  _g#_    _j##L__g#__   ]N  _j##L_ _d##L_   `#Nh___g#N'   _g#_    _j##L_
  223. `""""    """""'""""'    "  """""" """"""      """""""   `""""    """"""
  224.  ______ _   _   ___   _____  ____   _  __  __                        _
  225. |_ .. /| |_| | / _ \ |  ___||  _ \ | | \ \/ /                       [ ]
  226.  |  _/ |  _  || |_| ||  _\_ | | | || |  /  \                       (   )
  227.  |_|   |_| |_| \___/ |_____||_| |_||_| /_/\_\                       |>|
  228.                                                                  __/===\__
  229. +----------------------------------------------------------+    //| o=o |\\
  230. |                                           . (0) (0)  oo  |  <]  | o=o |  [>
  231. |    _    ~   -==-    ()()   -I-  . . . .   -==-  -[]-  *  |      \=====/
  232. |  -| |-  ~ +------+   -[]-   +-+   <>   -==-   -=-    ()  |     / / | \ \
  233. |  -| |-  ~ |      |  ()   |  +-+    -=-  %   :  () -==- . |    <_________>
  234. |  -|_|-  ~ |      |  ()  (/) +-+ -=-  .  ()  . . % -==- . |
  235. |   ...   ~ +------+  ()   |  +-+                          |             .-.
  236. +--+.............................+-------------------------+      .-.   ((@))
  237.    ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||                                ((@)) / `.-.
  238.                                                                 .-.\   /  `-'
  239.      ____________                                              ((@))\ /<Z>
  240.     /\___________\                        .  .  .               `-'  Y
  241.     \/~  @UMBC7 ~/                ..  ~  .   .   . ~  ..             |<Z>
  242.     /~  UMBC   ~/              o      o      o      o      o         |
  243.    /~  EDU    "/          !       0       &      {       ?      #
  244.   /___________/       J        O         S        E        P       H
  245.  /\__\__\__\__\   _________________________
  246.  \/__/__/__/__/  /\                        \   ______________________________
  247.                 / /\                        \  ]                            |
  248.  
  249.    __       __      __      __      __              ,     ,
  250.   / /\     /_/\    / /\    /_/\    / /\            (\____/)         *****
  251.  / /  \   _\ \ \  / /  \  _\ \ \  / / /___          (_oo_)         *|_o_o|\\
  252. /_/ /\ \ /_/\ \ \/_/ /\ \/_/\_\ \/_/ /_/ /            (O)          *|. o.| ||
  253. \ \ \_\ \\ \ \_\ \ \ \/\ \ \  __ \ \ \_\ \          __||__    \)    | o  |//
  254.  \ \ \/ _/\ \ \/ /\ \ \_\/\ \ \_\/\ \ \/ /       []/______\[] /     ======
  255.   \ \  /   \ \  /  \ \ \   \ \ \   \ \  /        / \______/ \/
  256.    \_\/     \_\/    \_\/    \_\/    \_\/        /    /__\
  257.     Quang                                      (\   /____\
  258.  
  259. #######                      ###    ###                               __&__
  260. #######  ##################  ###   ###  #################  ###       /     \
  261. ### ###                      ###  ###                    ##   #     |       |
  262. #######  ## ##  ##  ##       ### ###   ####   ##  ####    #    #    |  (o)(o)
  263. #######  ## ##  ##  ##       ######   ##  ##  ##  ## ##   #     #   C   .---_)
  264. ###      #####  ##  ##       #####    ##  ##  ##  ## ##   #    ##    | |.___|
  265. ###      ## ##  ##  ##       ####     ##  ##  ##  ## ##   #     #    |  \__/
  266. ###      ## ##  ##  #####    ###       ####   ##  ####    #    #     /_____\
  267.                                                          ##   #     /_____/ \
  268. #########################################################  ###     /         \
  269.  
  270. [~~~\    /~\ \~\    /~/ [~~~] [~~~\
  271. [ O  \  / O \ \ \  / /   [ ]  [ O  \                               +
  272. [    / / ___ \ \ \/ /    [ ]  [    /                         *    / \    *
  273. [___/ /_/   \_\ \__/    [___] [___/                         OnO  :xxx:  OnO
  274.                                                             I I   I I   I I
  275.             ___                                     ___     I I   I I   I I
  276.   _-==-_   (___)-----------------------------------(___)   O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
  277.  /  ..  \__|   |                                   |   |   \_______________/
  278. /| `--' |___)  |                                   |   |    I     ___     I
  279. ||      |  |   |                                   |   |    I    / i \    I
  280. (___\/___) |___|                                   |___|    I   I: i :I   I
  281.            (___)-----------------------------------(___)    I___I:_i_:I___I
  282.  
  283.       /|                                      _____
  284.      / ||\ ____________  _____               /  ___\  ___  _ ,__  _  _
  285.     /  || \       |    | |   / /\   \  /     | / __  \__ \ |  _/ | || |
  286.    /   ||  \    | | |  | |  / /  \   \/      | \_\ \ | _ | | |   | L| |
  287.   /____||   \   | | |  | |_/ /____\  /\      \_____| \___\ |_|   \__  /
  288.  /     ||    \  | | |--| | \/      \/  \                          L__/
  289. /      ||     \ | | |  | | /\       \   \
  290.                \| | |        \
  291.                               \     /\___/\      _\| /\ |/_          .
  292.        /\----/\                    (  o o  )       \/  \/    ._______|_______.
  293.     |  ( 0  0 )  --"Arf!"         ===  v  ===     /      \         \(*)/
  294.      \ ||(**)||                      )   (       /________\        o/ \o
  295.       <|| U  ||>                     ooooo
  296. ------^^^----^^^------                           .=====____=====.  |       o
  297.                           \\\  ___  ///         /                \ |      /~>
  298.  _  _     _                \\\/   \///        0/...-..__..__......\|   o...(\
  299.  _||=   _+-+    \|/         \\|^ ^|//       .------------------------.
  300. |_ +-  |+---   -----         \|O O|/        | O O    | 1960 |    O O |
  301.  .||x   _/|_,  _/|_,          | O |         |____Meat_^^^^^^_Wagon___|
  302.                               |\_/|          \______==========______/
  303.                               \___/          |  |   ''''''''''   |  |
  304.                                              `--'                `--'
  305.        @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@                   ______
  306.      @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@               /_____/\           |\/\/\/\/|
  307.    @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@            /____ \\ \          |        |
  308.   @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@          /_____\ \\ /         |        |
  309.  @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/      \@@@/   @        /_____/ \/ / /       (    (o) (o)
  310. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@\      @@  @___@       /_____/ /   \//\       |        )
  311. @@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@  | \@@@@@     \_____\//\   / /       |        \
  312. @@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@\__@_/@@@@@      \_____/ / /\ /        |  _______\
  313.  @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/,/,/./'/_|.\'\,\        \_____/ \\ \         | /
  314.    @@@@@@@@@@@@@|  | | | | | | | |        \_____\ \\
  315.                  \_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|         \_____\/
  316.  
  317. \\         // @@@@@@   @@@     @@@   @@@@@@  @@@@@@ !!!!!!!!!!! .. .. ..
  318.  \\       //  @@@@@@  @   @   @   @  @@@@@@  @@@@@@ !!!!!!!!!!! ...  .  .
  319.   \\     //   @@@@    @   @   @   @  @@@ @@@@@@ @@@ !!!!!!!!!!!.     .  ..
  320.    \\   //    @@@@    @   @   @   @  @@@  @@@   @@@ !!!!!!!!!!!.. . .
  321.     \\ //     @@@@    @   @   @   @  @@@        @@@ !!!!!!!!!!!
  322.      \/_______@@@@_____@@@_____@@@___@@@________@@@ !!!!!!!!!!!.  .
  323.        ________________________________________________________ ..   .. .
  324.  
  325.                                                       /~\    /~\    /~\    /~\
  326.          ____                                         \ /    \ /    \ /    \ /
  327.        /  AMF \                                       |=|    |=|    |=|    |=|
  328.  ---  (   oo   )                                     /   \  /   \  /   \  /   \
  329. ---   (        )                                     |   |  |   |  |   |  |   |
  330. _______\ _o__ /_______________________________________\_/____\_/____\_/____\_/_
  331.  
  332.                               .___.                                 ( )_( )
  333.           /)               ,-^     ^-.                               \. ./
  334.          //               /           \                             __=.=__
  335. .-------| |--------------/  __     __  \-------------------.__         "
  336. |WMWMWMW| |>>>>>>>>>>>>> | />>\   />>\ |>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>:>
  337. `-------| |--------------| \__/   \__/ |-------------------'^^
  338.          \\               \    /|\    /
  339.           \)               \   \_/   /     ___________  || o   > =====| === \
  340.                             |       |   ~Y/ =====-__|~==\|   U > ===   BULLET>
  341.                             |+H+H+H+|     / |L)~~~       \  ___ > ===== / ===
  342.                             \       /     |_|     BAM!    \_____/
  343.                              ^-----^
  344.                                                               ~
  345.   __                               ___                       ~~~
  346.  (/ \  _   /) /) _ _ _  _    _    (/__) _   _   _           (o o)
  347.  /`  )(_(_( _(__/|/|/(_(_(_/| (   / (  (_)_/_)_/_)_        (  O  )   oOOO
  348. (___/                          ` (   \                      \\_//    / /
  349.                                                       oOOO-----------------|
  350. ._
  351. | "___                          ___________________________     |
  352. |   |O\__________ ,__ |      _ /   ___/~~~    /------------\    |
  353. |== '--`         ~|  ||    _|_/_______________|______|____|__\__|________,_
  354. |  Gee Bee =====  |  |O)   \ _________________|____-_|-______|_____________)
  355. `-__________\   \-|__||     <____//   \|______|______|_______|_//   \)_____>
  356.   o'         `\  \    |           \___/                         \___/
  357.               -+=O)
  358. by Stephen Coyle
  359.