home
***
CD-ROM
|
disk
|
FTP
|
other
***
search
/
DP Tool Club 26
/
CD_ASCQ_26_1295.iso
/
vrac
/
rubyv50.zip
/
RUBY50-9
< prev
next >
Wrap
Text File
|
1995-10-27
|
4KB
|
80 lines
Copyright 1995(c)
I'LL TAKE HATS FOR $200, ALEX...
A Ruby D. Begonia Piece
By Del Freeman
"You know what's wrong? I'll tell you waht's wrong. Johnnie
abandoned his obvious defense in favor of a fashion statement, is
what's the trouble," said Ruby, shaking her head. "I'm real
disappointed."
"I'm sure no more disappointed than Johnnie was when he got
to the end and discovered he didn't have one," said Del.
"Makes no sense," said Ruby. "Don't hang him because he runs
fast and his mama loves him? What kinda defense is that?"
"It seems everyone is wondering," said Del.
"And Johnnie in that hat," Ruby complained. "Spike Lee Goes
to Court, if you ask me. I wanted to give up my jewelry and just
hope he wouldn't shoot, I tell you."
"Public opinion seems divided on that one -- somewhere between
ludicrous and an eye witness I.D., I think," said Del.
"Well, hey, that's Johnnie's job, right? To take the heat, I
mean? He was just comin' clean, as it were, right?"
"Easily as clean as that Bronco," Del seemed to agree.
"Okay, then, why didn't they put on their defense?" Ruby
demanded.
"What, exactly, would that have been, Ruby?" asked Del.
"Mistaken Intent," said Ruby.
"Is this that 'Two guys from Detroit' theory?" asked Del.
"Nah, Detroit wouldn't work," said Ruby.
"What was wrong with Detroit?" asked Del. "Is that not where
the mob is? Actually, I thought that one was kind of interesting."
"Well, sure, Chicago's where the mob is. What do you think -
- Genoa City? You like Danny Romalotti for this, or what? Nah, they
did right to give up that loopy drug dealer enforcer guys theory.
They just didn't naturally move to the right defense," Ruby
finished. "It was like O.J. said."
"But that's just it -- O.J. didn't say," said Del.
"I dunno," Ruby shook her head in puzzlement, seeming not to
hear Del's comment. "Between Gerry and his glove," she said,
referring to the Gerry Spence mock defense presentation, "and
Johnnie and his hat, I'm thinking there's just too many props in
here. Keep it simple, stupid, is my motto."
"Oh, we know," said Del.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just that you have ever had a different slant on this O.J.
thing from the beginning," said Del. "Face it. That's a duck!"
"Is not," Ruby argued. "He's one one hundred percent not
guilty and he loves his kids and his mama loves him," said Ruby.
"Immaterial and irrelevant," said Del.
"But the truth ain't immaterial, and that's what didn't come
out," said Ruby.
"Okay, tell me the truth," said a resigned Del.
"It was like this," said Ruby. "O.J., just toolin' around
killin time waitin' for a limo, drives up to Nicole's house and
sees her in the front yard. She's waitin' for her mama's glasses
to get dropped off and chokin' on a lump of that cookie dough ice
cream.
"Quick-like, he stops the Bronco and rushes to her aid,
pulling out his knife and performing a delicate tracheotomy. Up
stumbles old Ron and sees this going on and thinks Nicole is in
trouble. He jumps on O.J.'s back, shoving that knife way further
into her throat than O.J. ever intended.
"Then, in grief and despair, old Ron wrestles the knife away
from O.J. and commits suicide by fallin' on it... several times.
There, you have it -- clearly mistaken intent. O.J. shoulda took
the stand and told it and he'a walked," said Ruby.
"And you think this Mistaken Intent is what? Equivalent to the
we-were-abused Menendez defense,or what? You like this better than
Gerry Spence's glove-smacking?" asked Del.
"Well, maybe not," Ruby qualified. "But the hat was a mistake.
Johnnie clearly ain't been watchin' Ilsa Klench near like he ought
to."
"I don't think anyone will disagree with that," said Del.
"I see Johnnie more in a fedora, don't you?"
"But Johnnie in a fedora has nothing to do with anything," Del
protested.
"Voila!" said Ruby. "A perfectly consistent close for the
defense. Wonder why they didn't think of it."
-30-