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The Western Square Dancing Page
Among the many dancing crazes currently sweeping the nation, three have a
profound effect on America's youth -- the Macarena, the Funky Fried Chicken
from Cameroon and Western Square Dancing.
(Western Square Dancing, as opposed to Eastern Square Dancing used by the
crips from Oakland. WEST SIIIIDE! Hey, I think I got it back.)
Oh no, vacation time is terminated.
(Insert evil, demonic laugh here)
Domenic's Accordion Beatles Page
The Beatles have become an important staple of the rock 'n roll resume. Now
meet the only person to transcend the grooving sound of the Fab Four to a
polka medley. (I'll bet if you play these
songs backwards, you can hear "Play an accordion, go to jail.")
8-Track
Heaven
Years ago, music filled the world through the beauty and the magic of those
little plastic cartridges of wonder known as the "8-Track." Now relive the
days of yesteryear with a lower form of stereo technology.
(Ahhh, all of this Karen Carpenter and Gordon Lightfoot and Phil Collins before
his hair started thinning out! What am I, in an elevator or something?)
The Bagpipes Go to the Movies
When I think of famous movie memorabilia, three images come to mind: Charles
Foster Kane's sled, Scarlet O'Hara's homemade dress, and Scotty's bagpipe
from "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan." (Planet
Hollywood should really start putting bagpipes from famous movies in their
restaurants. That way when the customers throw up, the management has something
to blame it on other than the food.)
I Love Hanson's Clothes
Where's the love? According to this guy, the love is in Hanson's clothes.
And it sure as heck won't come out with a drop of detergent.
(I hope they can get it out with a drop of blood.)
The Captain James T. Kirk Sing-A-Long Page
From "Mr. Tambourine Man" to "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds," they're all
here in this once-in-a-lifetime web page. Call within the next twenty minutes
and as an added bonus, you'll receive your "Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy Sings
Simon & Garfunkel" absolutely free! (Act
now, operators are standing by, pleading callers to call the police and take
these horrible people away.)
National Association of Amateur Elvis Impersonators
It seems like everywhere you go, some guy with fake sideburns and a rhinestone
costume is singing a tune that your parents are tapping their feet to. Now
they've formed a union and Vegas' stop 'n pop wedding chapels will never be
the same. (Now there's a union president
I'm sure the Mafia wouldn't mind taking out.)
The Unofficial Yanni
Home Page
There are a lot of programs and software packages that parents can buy to
keep young children away from all sorts of nasty things today on the Internet.
Fortunately, you won't need to buy any since you're kids won't go anywhere
near this site. (insert your own John Tesh
joke here)
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