Somewhere between George Washington and William Jefferson Clinton, the American presidency became a FOX sitcom. Our highest elected officials have stopped acting human, and without realizing it, we have begun treating them as fictional characters.

Like Al Bundy or Homer Simpson, our leaders receive absolution for their sins because we pass off their wrongdoings as misguided but well-intentioned capers. President Clinton could eat a baby, beat up Bob Hope or pass a law making Jackie Collins required reading, and the public would forgive him. It's not that we like the man; it's just that we expect flaws in the people we see on TV. Imperfect but kind-hearted characters stand at the center of most television shows. Fred Flintstone continually framed his best friend when their quasi-legal "get rich quick" plans failed, Hawkeye Pierce harassed every nurse who ever worked at the 4077th, and B.A. Baracus indiscriminately beat up people. None of this ever changed the public's love for these "people," and it never changed our basic belief that they were good at heart.

But the prevalence of amiable scamps on TV should not justify the actions of actual people, especially those filling our highest elected offices.

The current president has used his hillbilly charm as an excuse for perpetrating crimes against the public. Like Luke Duke, he smiles and reassures everyone before jumping in the General Lee and sticking it to poor 'ol Boss Hog once again.

"I may be lyin' and cheatin' y'all, but I'm really just poor country folk who don't know no better," his apology implies. Never mind his fancy degrees, the Rhodes Scholar designation or the mountains of evidence that shows he possesses a devious genius, Bill Clinton plays TV bumpkin as well as anyone this side of "Hee Haw."

Independent Prosecutor Kenneth Starr's report accuses Clinton of everything short of roughing the passer, and the president truly believed he could smile his way out of it. He has this belief because we elected him despite knowing from the beginning that his moral fiber might in fact be a synthetic blend.

We now have intimate detail of every tobacco-tinged oddity, outrageous lie and heinous political move our elected leader has ever made. Yet the vast majority still accept his apology. Perhaps his actions make him more of a jerk than a criminal, but none of it should surprise us.

Clinton will stay in office, and like a kid on any family sitcom from the past 40 years, he will escape with a stern talking-to and a lesson learned. We'd probably forgive him again, and perhaps we'll pick an even bigger criminal next time.

Marion Barry needs a job after this year, Senator Bob Packwood has probably learned his lesson, and Gary Hart practically screams "political comeback." If those fellows aren't villainous enough, maybe we can look to the gangsta rap world, check our list of people who have written manifestos or possibly grab someone from Jerry Springer's guest pool. I'm not ready to make an endorsement yet, but "vote reprobate in '98" has an awfully nice ring to it.