Though I have no idea what it does, I'm pretty sure I need to talk to my doctor about Claritin. Judging by the TV commercial, this wonder drug brings better weather, lasting happiness and the approval of former celebrity Joan Lunden.

Take Claritin and you will have "blue skies, nothing but blue skies from now on." That's not exactly a description that rivals "nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, stuffy head, fever, so you can rest medicine" for clarity. Frankly, "plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is" makes more sense, though I'm not sure whether taking Alka Seltzer cures a headache, an upset stomach or something else entirely.

Television commercials have long shaped our views of pain relievers, antacids and itch relief medications, which seems reasonable for products whose major differences lie in packaging. Since all headache medicines have roughly the same ingredients, you can pick one based on its celebrity endorsers or anything else that grabs your attention.

Jimmy Connors takes Nuprin, Bufferin has some sort of magic, stomach-protecting coating and Tylenol has dramatically decreased the amount of people it kills. I generally take Advil because it tastes like candy, but for the most part, all of these products have similar ingredients and comparable levels of effectiveness.

I generally trust my television, and I've turned to it for solutions to problems ranging from ring around the collar to dishpan hands. But I'm not sure I'm ready to accept its advice about anything stronger than aspirin. Sure, TV has taught me what gum my dentist would recommend if I was a patient who chewed gum, but bigger issues seem beyond its scope.

Some of the better TV ads for pharmaceuticals extol the virtues of obesity drugs, hair loss pills, and heart medicine. But most commercials tout drugs without explaining what they do or what potential benefits you might derive from taking them. The ad for Nasonex, which appears to be some sort of nasal inhaler, offers you a free sample without ever even hinting at what the drug is for. Does it cure the sniffles, or is it nasal Valium? Apparently that doesn't matter, because it's free.

Many of these commercials spend 59 seconds telling you how wonderful life will become if you convince your doctor to prescribe their product for you, and one second listing the horrible potential side effects and warnings. These range from the frightening (like the baldness pill that's so dangerous pregnant women can't even handle broken tablets) to the ridiculous (like the obesity pill that warns it's 'not for bulimics').

Judging by what I've seen on 'ER,' most doctors have gone through many years of medical training, likely with really mean supervisors. During this time, I'm guessing they spent at least a couple days learning about various medicines and whether I should be taking them. Though I'd like 'blue skies...nothing but blue skies,' I'll assume they'd tell me if I needed Claritin.