After 13 years of sitting in a classroom, even an inanimate object should pick up a few things. Human beings - a species responsible for everything from space travel to nuclear power, not to mention the Frappuccino and "Laverne & Shirley," ought to be able to do a little better.

Using this logic, you would expect that the vast majority of high school students graduate with at least some grasp of the basic arts of reading, writing and arithmetic. Unfortunately, at least in New York City, that assumption has proven as illogical as Adam Sandler's continued success. Recent standardized test scores show that many New York City students leave school knowing less than they did when they got there. As preschoolers they probably came in with at least some beginning language skills picked up from watching "Sesame Street."

That show might also teach them a few words in a foreign language, and The Count does an excellent job with math involving numbers lower than 13. But the same kids who used to know "which one of these things is not like the other" graduate high school unable to read or write a simple sentence. Due to budget cutbacks and general incompetence, New York City's Board of Education has stopped even pretending to have educational goals. The City's schools have become holding pens where teachers, many of whom can't read and write themselves, turn out high school graduates with similar problems. Luckily, the City University of New York has fallen so far that the lack of basic skills does not preclude illiterate high school graduates from becoming illiterate college graduates. Many of these "college-educated" teachers then return to City schools, where they pass on their lack of knowledge to the next generation.

To solve some of these problems, New York's Mayor Rudy Giuliani has called for an end to the practice of "social promotion." This means that kids will no longer pass into the next grade merely because it might embarrass them to be left behind.

Apparently, the shame of being a grownup unable to write your own name or read a newspaper (even The Herald) pales in comparison to the social stigma of being left back. Social promotion may fit with our preposterous yet widely accepted societal logic that government can protect people from having bad experiences, but it does little for kids.

Passing someone into the next grade when he lacks the ability to do the work puts the student and the teacher in an impossible position. If you fail Algebra 1, the odds of you passing Algebra 2 decrease exponentially. Social promotion is not like watching a movie, where whether or not you've seen "Breakin'" has nothing to do with your ability to enjoy "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo." If you fail part one of a course, you will not be able to succeed with part two.

And while my own failure, and subsequent retaking, of algebra has had absolutely no effect on my day-to-day life, it's a good thing that I was forced to take it again. That's not because I have ever used algebra (everyone knows it has no practical applications and is taught as a form of educational hazing) but because it forced me to actually achieve something before being rewarded for my success.