The Morgue

Issue #13 ~ June 1, 1998

This page is dedicated to bringing you the latest in movie news hosted by the best character on SCTV (in this fan's opinion), played by the excellent Joe Flaherty.

AAAAaaawwoooo! I bid you....welcome to Count Floyd's Movie News. Well, a lot of people are talking about the latest so-called blockbuster out there. Yes, Godzilla has finally come stomping our way. The film stars Matthew Broderick as Dr. Nick Tatopoulos who is researching the growth in earthworms found at the site of the Chernobyl disaster. He is pulled away from his work to consult with the military on the possibility of radiation's effects on a dinosaur long thought extinct. Apparently the nuclear testing on French-held atolls has dredged up a huge monster that has been attacking fishing vessels. The military has been tracking the destruction to the waters off the East Coast. Godzilla finally comes ashore and cause mucho havoc in the city. And you thought they have traffic problems now. We also get to see some of the folks who bring us joy on "The Simpsons" like Hank Azaria (who is the voice of Moe the bartender), Harry Shearer (a personal fav who plays Ned Flanders and other voices as well), and Nancy Cartwright (who is the voice of Bart Simpson).

There has been a lot of criticism of this movie but I feel it delivers on it's promise to give you a monster movie. After all we're not talking brain surgery here. I feel we the audience are supposed to sit back and absord the carnage and not worry too much about this couldn't really happen. IT'S A MOVIE, OKAY! It's not a perfect film by any means. If there is any failing it's in the relationships between the characters but this is a minor flaw compared to the overall technical feel of the film. The film was directed by Roland Emmerich and produced by Dean Devin who brought us "Stargate" and "Independece Day". I think it's too bad that bad press can hold back a movie that's perfect for a Saturday afternoon of monster stompin' fun.

Now it's time for some radiation enlarged movie news.

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR is coming to TV in a one hour weekly series and should be released in the Fall of 1999. Atlantis Films bought the rights from John Jones who wrote 4 of the 5 "Amityville" books.
TRUE LIES 2 may be the next project for James Cameron who is riding high on his directorial triumph of "Titanic". Both Arnold Schwarzenegger and Tom Arnold are said to be very interested in the project.
TOY STORY 2 will make it to the big screen after all. Disney Pictures and Pixar Animation were going to release the sequel to the 1995 hit on video only. The decision has now been made to go for a theatrical release at the end of 1999. The voices will again be supplied by Tom Hanks and Tim Allen.
BABYLON 5 creator J. Michael Straczynski is creating a new SCI/FI series which will air on TNT in the Fall of '99. The title of the series will be "Crusade" and it takes place at a time when the Earth is infected by a deadly alien plague. The starship Excaliber will be an archeological research ship looking for artifacts that may help the dying Earth survive the plague.
LETHAL WEAPON 4 update. It has been announced that Hong Kong action star Jet Li will play the villain in the upcoming Lethal Weapon film. A major freeway chase scene was filmed outside of Las Vegas. The powers that be made location shooting much more convenient for the film crew than Los Angeles authorities were willing to do.
THE INCREDIBLE HULK project has been frozen by Universal Pictures in the planning stages because of it's incredible $100 million projected budget. Universal will go ahead with a "Flintstones" sequel as well as a 3-D animated "Frankenstein" feature.

Count Floyd's Video Dungeon

In this issue I'd like to recommend an Italian horror film called "Cemetary Man" made in 1995 under the original title of "Dellamorte Delamore". The film stars Rupert Everett as Francisco Dellamorte, who is essentially the caretaker of a small cemetary in a small Italian village. Apparently there is a mysterious plaque that causes the dead to rise again after 7 days underground. The only way to stop these zombies is to split their heads open. This is usually achieved by a well placed shot to the head with a handgun. Gruesome? But of course. Things go along well for the caretaker until a bus load of Boy Scouts crash and they rise up at once making it a very busy night for our hero. This film reminds me of a cross between "Desperado" and "From Dusk Til Dawn". The cinematography is excellent and no dubbing was necessary because the main characters spoke English. If you like your horror and action a little hardcore, then this is the film for you. The film was directed by Michele Soavi and should not be too difficult to find at your larger video stores. Ohh, it's a scary scary video.

Scary Scary Trivia

Congratulations go to Laura G. who becomes the new Triviameister of Mellonville for being the first person to answer this trivia question correctly: "In what 1981 remake of a 1957 Sci-Fi classic did we hear the song Galaxy Glue?". The correct answer is "The Incredible Shrinking Woman" which starred Lily Tomlin and was directed by Joel Schumaker. I'm surprised by all the people who were able to answer that one. Count Floyd was stumped and if you've ever been stumped you know just how painful that can be. A stake to the heart goes to these folks who also answered the question correctly: Carlos V., Charles D., Jason L., Eviltwin, Douglas W., MDUlsh, Nelson B., Krista S., Terry T., Jennifer D., Jim, Bart S., Shirley W., Astag, B vonB., Alice G., Matthew C. and Vahloria.

The new Triviameister of Mellonville asks the following question: What character said "Let's take a 5 minute break. Smoke if you got em."? The first person to answer this question correctly will become the next Triviameister of Mellonville. Please click here to answer the question and good luck to you all.

The Haunted Survey

Last issue's survey question was: "What is your favorite mushy or lovey-dovey scene in a movie?". The survey SAYS:

TITANIC- The ending staircase reunion "in the other world" scene.
SUPERMAN- When Superman takes Lois Lane on a flight then catches her when she falls.
RE-ANIMATOR- The scene between Dr. Hill's severed head and the nude Barbara Crampton strapped down on the autopsy table.
STAR TREK 2 THE WRATH OF KHAN- The scene between Kirk and Spock during Spock's death scene.
SINGING IN THE RAIN- The scene between Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds after they raise the curtain behind Lina Lamont.
THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS AND DOGS- The scene where they are having a phone bath together.
MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING- Where Emma Thompson is on the swing and Kenneth Brannaugh is doing something.
SOMEWHERE IN TIME- When Christopher Reeve and Jayne Seymour get together.
FORREST GUMP- When Jenny comes back especially with that touching music in the background.
THE GRADUATE- Where Dustin Hoffman as Ben is disrupting Elaine's wedding by banging on the church doors calling her name.
CROCODILE DUNDEE- Where Mick's lady friend says she always feels sad around him and he thumps his chest and lets out a half-hearted "ah-ah" then they clinch.

TITANIC- Where Jack and Rose are on the bow of the ship and Rose is "flying".
IN HARM'S WAY- The scene in which Patricia O'Neil rolls down her stockings and gives John Wayne a sizzling look.
BREAKFAST AT TIFFANYS- At the end where George Peppard and Audrey Hepburn make a cat sandwich.
IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE- When George Baily (James Stewart) and Mary (Donna Reed) kiss at the phone.
AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER- The Empire State building scene.
TITANIC- The scene when they are in a car.
TOP GUN- When Maverick and the lady are arguing about his flight plans and Tom Cruise kisses her.
THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK- When the ship jolts and Han Solo catches Princess Leia. She acts like she hates him but then she hurts her hand and Solo starts to rub it. By the end of the scene they are kissing.
FUNNY FACE- The final scene on the lawn of the church where Audrey Hepburn is wearing a wedding gown.
GHOST- The final scene.
THE BREAKFAST CLUB- At the end when Allison, Andy, Bender and Claire are in the closet.
and CASABLANCA as the Beaver- The final scene at the airport where Bogart gives his "Hill of Beans" speech. "Here's looking at you, kid.".

Well, I hope you recognize some of these lovey-dovey scenes because I know I do.

This issue's survey question is: "Who is your favorite director-now?". If you are like me my favorite director changes over time and often doesn't match my all-time favorite. I used to be a big Sam Raimi fan and I still am but a new director has come along whose films have caught my attention. His name is Robert Rodriquez and he has made films like: "El Mariachi", "Desperado" and "From Dusk Til Dawn". I highly recommend you seek these out if you like action films. Who is your favorite director, right now. He or she doesn't have to be your all time favorite but one you are hooked on for the moment? To respond to the survey please click here.

AAAAaaawwoooo! Count Floyd will return in issue #14 titled "For Your Toupee Only" due out on 7-12-98 or so. Farewell Frank and Phil, we hardly knew ye.

Count Floyd