This page is dedicated to bringing you the latest in movie news hosted by the best character on SCTV (in this fan's opinion), played by the excellent Joe Flaherty.
AAAaaawwoooo! I bid you....welcome to issue #11 of Count Floyd's Movie News. I am a bit disappointed this ish because I so wanted to bring you news of the latest SCI/FI flick called "Dark City". Well, I flew over to the local cinema, The Odious, and flopped down in the comfy chair to enjoy a matinee performance. I was mucho disgusto when the trailers seemed very blurry but I was confidant that the film would come through crystal clear. But nooooo. The film was blurry also and the usher told us that the projectionist said nothing could be done about it . He offered a refund and I took that option instead of having the movie experience spoiled. The review of "Dark City" will have to wait until the next issue which should include a review of "Lost In Space" also. Ooh, it will be a jampacked issue kids. AAAaaawwoooo!
I did have a successful viewing of The Replacement Killers starring Chow Yun-Fat, the hottest action star in Hong Kong. Chow Yun-Fat plays a hired gun named John Lee who is hired by a local mob boss Terrence Wei played by Kenneth Tsang. Lee is sent to kill a family member of a detective who killed Wei's son in a shoot-out. Lee has a change of heart and that really cheeses off Mr. Wei who hires replacement killers to deal with our hero. Chow Yun-Fat needs some forged papers to leave America so he can go to China to protect his family who will surely feel the wrath of Mr. Wei. He goes to see Meg Coburn who deals in forged documents. She is played by the extra spicy Mira Sorvino. Within 5 minutes of meeting her they are both attacked by gunmen and the game is afoot. Bullets really fly in this American version of a Hong Kong action film. Gunfights occur in such places like a video arcade, a car wash and a cartoon film festival. The film is beautifully shot by director Antoine Fuqua in his theatrical debut. Fuqua has honed his skills shooting commercials and music videos. The producers did take a gamble in using a first timer but it paid off in this case. If you like gunplay and well choreographed action then I'd have to say go for it. Bang, bang, bang. Hey there's a shootout in the movie news. I'll see you there.
I'd like to recommend a film many of you have heard of but may not have had the chance to see yet. It's called The Full Monty. The story takes place in the city of Sheffield nestled in the Yorkshire countryside. As the opening mini-documentary states, Sheffield is a bustling town known for its steel. However, the harsh reality of the financial world has closed most of the steel works in the area and the men are left to hang out at the job center waiting for any work that might pop up. The lead character is named Gaz, played by Robert Carlyle who you might recognize from "Trainspotting". Gaz is having trouble coming up with his child support payments and may no longer be able to visit his son unless he can catch up on the back payments. In his wanderings around town he notices an advert for a show being put on by the Chippendale dancers. He pokes his head in the door and finds that the meeting hall is jam-packed with the women of the town going nuts over these guys and spending money like drunken sailors. Gaz figures he can go them one better if he can find some guys who are willing to go totally nude, known as the full monty. He convinces his friend Guy, played by Hugo Speer, to go in with him and they approach their also-out-of-work foreman, played by Tom Wilkinson, to teach them to dance. The foreman has been helping his wife teach a ballroom dance class to make ends meet. I won't give too much away but they then proceed to hold auditions and eventually get a show date at the meeting hall. Will they chicken out? You'll need to see that for yourself. The film was directed by Peter Cattaneo and is not a huge blockbuster. It doesn't contain massive explosions or big car chases and probably was made for the price that Hollywood would spend on a commercial but all the money is up on the screen for you to enjoy. Don't go off half-montied when you can get "The Full Monty".
Congratulations go to the new Triviameister of Mellonville, Chris S., for being the first person to answer last issue's trivia question correctly. The question was: "Who was the narrator in the original 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'?" A lot of you got this one which stumped me. If you've ever been stumped before you know just how painful that can be. An honorary bite on the neck goes to the following people for answering the trivia question correctly also: Eviltwin, Irene P., Joshua M., Larry L., Victor, Tom A., Brad & Janice, Carlos V., Halloween Lee, Mista Gumby, Donna C., Tracer V., Daryl C., Ryan Z., Doug W., James De K. and Slasher 04.
The Triviameister of Mellonville asks: "What legendary creator of classic cinema creatures ended his career applying pancake makeup and false eyelashes to Mr. Ed?" You can become the new Triviameister of Mellonville by being the first person to answer the trivia question correctly by clicking here. Good luck.
Last issue's survey question really must have struck a chord with a lot of readers. This is the best response to a survey question thus far. The survey question was: "What is your favorite musical?". The survey SAYS:
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When we go to the movies most of us stop off at the snack bar. This issue's survey question is: What is your favorite movie snack, past or present?" Please do not include a beverage, popcorn or a hot dog in your answer. Anything else is fair game. For me it was a candy treat called "Flicks". Flicks came in a tube shaped box and were very similar to a Hershey kiss only flatter. When I was done I would always look through the tube at the movie screen to see if I got the last one. Occasionally one Flick would try to survive but I would spot it and send it on its way. I haven't seen them for 25 years now. So, what is your favorite snack bar treat past or present not counting beverages, popcorn or hot dogs? To answer the survey question click here.
AAAaawwoooo! Count Floyd will return in issue #12 titled "The 500 lb. Spy Who Had a Crush On Me" due out on 4-25-98 or so.
