Just Friends?
Our culture disparages non-romantic relationships between men and women.
Befriending a woman for reasons other than wanting to become intimately
involved with her seems a dead giveaway that there is something profoundly
wrong with you. Yet, that is hardly sufficient cause to pass up what
can be a genuinely transformative experience, an adventure in friendship
that could go far beyond what is available in prosaic "male bonding"
with your buddies.
The rewards of being "just friends"
- There is a special kind of warmth and closeness in a friendly
man-woman relationship, even without physical intimacy.
- You can express feelings to a woman that you would be uncomfortable
acknowledging to another man. You can cry on her shoulder, get sympathy,
comfort, and advice - even a bit of mothering should you need it. It's
nice having an understanding friend with whom you can let go and just
be yourself.
- The very lack of tension, of not having anything to prove, lets the
relationship remain at a high comfort level. The friendship will be
stable and enduring, outlasting many of your lovers and girlfriends.
(Former lovers sometimes make the best of friends.)
- You can learn quite a bit about women and how to relate to them in
a calm, relaxing, pressure-free setting. A non-romantic frienship is
a good "starter" relationship for those lacking experience
with the more intense kind, somewhat like "training wheels"
to build up your confidence.
- Your non-romantic friend can be invaluable in helping you to
"network" and find available women among her acquaintances
for your next romantic relationship.
