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Godzilla
Food For Thought about Godzilla (A.K.A. 35 things to learn from Godzilla):
- Godzilla's bones are from a titanium/kevlar alloy. Otherwise such a huge creature will
collapse under its own weight.
- The streets of New York have a similar build. Otherwise they could never carry Godzilla.
- What does Godzilla eat? One truckload of fish a day, like they showed? Don't make me
laugh, that's a snack for such a creature.
- Following from 3: the waters around Manhattan (or the sewers?) apparently contain
sufficient fish for Godzilla and its young.
- Where does Godzilla take a crap? Where are the turds? Why does nobody smell it?
- Where is the ground that Godzilla moves when digging the tunnels? I've seen no
mole-hills.
- MK-III torpedoes happily target and sink a submarine from the own side.
- Two MK-III torpedoes hitting Manhattan's coast cause a splash not bigger than the one my
neighbor kid makes in the swimming pool.
- American chewing gum balls are as hard as glass marbles: the Godzilla's don't squish
them flat but trip on them.
- Mavericks explode on impact. So also when they hit Godzilla? No, only when they are in
its guts. How do they penetrate the armor?
- Godzilla dies, the light in its eyes goes out, its heart stops beating AND THEN it
neatly closes its eyes.
- People regret the death, even when you have been chased for a full movie and half the
city is crushed by the bastard.
- Home come the power still worked in Madison Square Garden?
- Why was after Godzilla's first appearance the rest of the movie in the night? Is
Godzilla a night creature?
- Four nuclear bomber subs easily fit in the waters around Manhattan.
- Why did Godzilla come to New York? It has no affiliation whatsoever with New York. Oh,
of course, the bagels! Or was it the old grandpa fishing with his little bait fish? That
will lure monstrous lizards all the way from Polynesia!
- Why does the doctor in the stadium use the coin telephone when he's got a mobile phone
in his hands?
- How did Godzilla get past NATO's sonar nets in the Atlantic - unseen?
- We have here a creature bigger than the full collection of Leonardo DiCaprio's fans and
the military people can't hit it with their weapons!
- All military are trained to aim for the fast moving parts (head, legs, tail) instead of
the least moving bodyparts.
- Apache attack choppers can only fly about 100 feet above ground level.
- Apache attack choppers can not hit eachother with any weapon.
- When an Apache chopper (including full weaponry) explodes in your face, no sweat. Or it
must be the one sore tooth (see below).
- Heatseeking missiles aim for buildings because they are hotter than Godzilla?! Godzilla
is more radioactive than a Homer Simpson caused nuclear meltdown!
- Godzilla's got a cloaking device and thus can easily escape and disappear each time it
wants.
- There's no use following a radioactive track or tracking the destruction and footsteps
to find Godzilla back?
- An American bridge is strong enough to carry a running Godzilla - which almost uses it
as a diving board.
- Godzilla stands above Newton's laws about acceleration and mass. The head sticks to the
body, even when violently turned from one side to the other. Same for the tail.
- Why does Godzilla posess tooth as big as an armchair, when it only eats fish? A whale
also doesn't chew the tonnes of shrimps it eats!
- Godzilla's dentist did a bad job (- or was it the exploding Apache in your mouth?). A
rocket up your ass tickles a bit but the powerline on the tooth really aches like hell.
- Taxies in New York can drive faster than Godzilla can run.
- Where were all citizens after Godzilla's first strike? Escaped out of town, how could I
forget. All 10 million. By car.
- French secret service agents talk Stallone or Presley English, and are admitted through
a military security post without a glitch.
- Two mavericks can pulverize the whole Madison Square Garden.
- In the end, one egg should always remain! The 199 other eggs, all burnt, broken and
dead! Except one, not a scratch!
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