Monday morning, wish it was Saturday,
Jeremy Beadle's invaded my fantasy,
My car doesn't start 'cause it's got a flat battery,
I tell you it just isn't fair.
Oh dear, why must it be this way?
I've piles upon piles of extortionate bills to pay,
I'll never be finished this paperwork 'till next May,
I haven't a moment to spare.
Help me God, must I go on like this?
I'm starting to think that you're trying to take the piss,
Life is start-ing to get really quite onerous,
Or is it some boozy nightmare?