Holiday Cards You Won't See in the Store...

To My Dear Wife - You're all I want for Christmas... unless I can get a toolbox. (Added by Jenny)
Just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and serve the divorce papers at the same time. (Added by Kelly)
If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister. (Added by Charles@UNM)
Money is tight, times are hard, here's your f@#$&@g christmas card!!! (Added by jeff)
Hope your Christmas is filled with love and hope...NOT! (Added by Amy Albert)
This time of year I always make out my wish list...and you're not on it. (Added by Amy Albert)
Santa isn't coming this year because he had a heart attack. Now don't you feel bad for giving him those fatty cookies every year? (Added by Jezebel)
It's the holidays, and you are home alone, eating microwavable turkey. Sucks to be you. (Added by Karen)
At this time of the year remember,Jesus loves everyone. Except you. (Added by Bob Palefella)