home
***
CD-ROM
|
disk
|
FTP
|
other
***
search
/
Crawly Crypt Collection 1
/
crawlyvol1.bin
/
magazine
/
scriba
/
scriba21
/
data.bin
/
PRT1.DOC
< prev
next >
Wrap
Text File
|
1993-02-28
|
49KB
|
938 lines
072010303050000144002006006010000
11
21
F0110030001
9[◆.......................................................................]0110
Ç
üTheNorwegiansgoDutch!
Part1
THEJourneybegins!
Ç
ThispartisinitsentitywrittenonanAtariPortfolioandaCambridge
Z88,andwaseditedonastandardAtariST.ItwaswrittenonNorwegian
ground,intheairaboveNorway/TheNorthSea/HollandandonactualDutch
ground,thusgainingstatusasaninternationalarticle.
Thefollowingpersonshavecontributeddirectlytopart1oftheQuest
article,inorderofappearance:
*LeifEinarClaus
* KaiHolst
*RichardKarsmakers
*Tjeerd"Crush"Bruinsma
ü##########################################################################
Ç
üOntheplanefromNorway,Monday,December28th,1992
Ç08:46
Afteralongnightofgoodsleep(Threehoursonthecouch!)Icanfeel
myinspirationflourish.Thatwassarcasm...IthinkI'llratherhandthis
thingovertoKaiwhoisrightnowreadingamagazinearticleonHarrison
Ford.Helooksratherboredinotherwords.We'reontheplanebytheway,
workingourwayoutfromFornebu,Oslo.Byefornow.
Leif
08:53
ThisisKaibehindthekeyboardofLeif'sfaithfulPortfolionow!I
cannotsayIwasboredrightnow.IüwasÇboredyesterdaywhilewaitingfive
hoursattheä(Peoplearelookingatus!Leifremark!)ÇairportforLeif.
ü**WEAREAIRBORN**
Ç Beforethat,I'dbeenonanuncomfortablebusforsixhours.Butthe
"ascend"upthemountainside(Onthebusyesterday)from0vreÅrdal,my
placeofdwelling,wasnothingshortofbreathtaking.Ienjoyedtheview
whilelisteningtoMauriceRavel'smagnificent"Bolero".Ohyeah!And
todayweareonourwaytoSchiphol,wherewearetomeetRichard...We
havebeenairbornforafewminutes,andbreakfastwillbeservedalmost
immediately.Apartfromasweetoldladystealingmywindowseatleaving
mebytheaisleinhalingthecigarettesmokefromEuroclass,everything
ismoreorlessalright.ItisattimeslikethisIappreciatemypolite
upbringingandattitude!
Kai
09:35
StillnosignofmyinspirationshowingupanywherealthoughIam
searchingintensely.Lastnightbytheway,wesleptatafriend'shouse
inOslo,amongotherthingsgettingademoofhis1400W(Notkidding!)
stereo.Mindblowing,literary.HerewecantalkaboutHi-FiHeaven!The
oldladywhohastakenKai'swindowseatisnotaNorwegian,soshehas
beentold(InNorwegianofcourse.WeareüSOÇpolite!)whatwefeelabout
thecase!Ihavetovisitthetoilet.
Leif
Ç09:46
Whataview-Thecloudshangingmajesticallyoverthelandscape,thesun
shininggentlyonmyface...OnlytoobadIcan'tlookoutofthewindowI
wassupposedtositnextto.Well,inlessthanthirtyminutesweshould
belandingatSchiphol.Whoops.Leifwantstoshowmesomepictureshe
tookofhisdearcutelittletwelve-yearoldgirliesupinVadsø,soI
havetosignoff!
Kai
10:04
Gooiingdooown!ä(Aerosmithremark!)
Ç
Leif.
10:07
Wow!Thesunisshining(Onme!)!Ihaven'tseenthesunforamonthand
ahalf,sinceIlivenorthofthepolarcircle.ThatmeansI'vetravelled
quiteadistancetoreachtheNetherlands.Atleast3000kilometres.Not
strangethatIfeeltired.Flapsgoingout.Schiphol(AndRichard!)up
straightahead!No,wait,abittotheright!I'mreallyexcited.Ihave
nevermetthisSTgurubefore.Kaihasn'teither,andheiseverybitas
excitedasIam.Now,theplaneisdescending.JMJquote.
Touchdownat10:19sharp!
Leif.
üRichard'sapartment;Thesameday!
Ç13:17
Myinspirationsuddenlyreturned!CoincidentiallyIhavejustlooked
throughRichard'sCDcollectionandifIdon'tshutmymouthnowandstop
drooling,everyonewillsurelydrown.Iwonderifthisthingaboutmy
inspirationreturningandRichard'sCDsmayhavesomethingtodowitheach
other!
ListeningtoJasonBeckerandwithKaiandRicharddiscussing,
quarreling,insultingeachother,rippingeachother'sthroatsandvarious
otherbodilyobjectsinthebackground,Iwilltrytogiveashortaccount
ofeventssurpassingtouchdownatSchiphol.
RichardandMirandabothmetusattheairportholdingthisnicely
decoratedposterwithlotsofNorwegianwordsonitgatheredinsomekind
ofsentenceorder.Thatwassarcasminfact,causebothmeandKaiwere
veryimpressed.IhavenevereventalkedtoRichardearlier,soasIsaid
beforeIwasveryexcited.Nowafteractuallyhavingmethim(Andhis
charmingcompanioninlife)ImustsayIamrelievedtofindhimavery
niceguy.It'sassimpleasthat.
Wow!IjustsawRichardwritingonhisST(Iamnowwritingonhisgood
olddustyZ88)andheiswritingmuchfasterwithhistwofingersthanI
dowithallten!Well,backtoTHEJourney!Everythingontheairportwent
fastandefficiently,exceptforsomecustomspersonellaskingmesilly
questions.IfIhadabagfullofheroinIwouldofcoursereveal
everythingatoncewhenastupidofficerasksmeto.Howsillycanone
get?Andtheyjustaskedlittleinnocentmeandnotbig,bad,ugly,long-
haired,prototypeofasmugglerKai!Inspiteoftheaforementioned
officersweallgotonatrain(ContinuallycalledplanebyKai.Heisa
bithigh-flyingsometimes!)eventually.Quiteanuneventfuljourneyfrom
SchipholtoAmsterdam,exceptforKaialmostcrushinganoldladywithhis
carefullypositionedsuitcase...Bythewaytheclockisnow14:10,and
ÇKaiandRichardarestillcontinuingtodowhateveritistwoviruskillers
woulddowhentheymeetandwillstaytogetherforawhile.Atthetime
beingthereseemstobeaceasefiresinceRichardhasdiscoveredagrowing
minoritycomplexbecauseofhislazinessandKaibeingverycleverat
tellinghimaboutit.Well,againI'lltrytogetbacktoTHEJourney.
WherewasI?Yes,afterthetraintripweenteredanothertrainin
AmsterdamheadingforUtrecht.ThereKaiandRichardstartedsomeserious
programmingdiscussionsandI,outofpureselfpity,stoppedpaying
attentioninsteadturningittowardsthelandscapesurroundingus.It's
Flat!TheDutchonestellusthatthebiggestmountaininHollandis
around300metreshigh.Wepromisednottolaugh,butit'sreallyhardnot
to.SuddenlyIunderstandwhyStefanandRichardhadsuchdifficultywith
mountainclimbingduringtheirstayinØrsta!Ireckonpeopledownhere
oughttohaveverywelldevelopedeyes,sincetheyhavetoseesofarall
thetime,butthenagainmaybenot,sincethelandscapeisquite
monotonousandpeoplemaybesoongetboredandwatchtheirstepinstead.
RichardsaidthemagicwordFOOD.Seeya!
Leif
15:07
Interestingmeal,Imustsay.Dutchpeopleeatpurechocolateontheir
bread.Tastesmoreorlessgood,butI'lldiscusshowhealthythismustbe
anothertime.Timetogoout.
Leif
15:47
Idon'tquiteknowwhathashappenedtomypoorselfinthelastcouple
ofhours.Thethingthatismostpoignantistheword"insult"thatis
flashinginsidemyheadinbright,coruscatingneonletters.Theseguys
seemtobeatotallydifferentbunchofNorwegiansthantheindividualsI
havebeenincontactwithalmostexactlythreeyearsago.Thesetwo
particularnorthernershavesofarinsultedsomeofthethingsmost
precioustome:Myviruskillersourcecode(OhmyGodit'sslowandill
programmed),theDutchpublictransport(Isitalwaysthiscrowded,and
arethebusesalwaysthatill-designed?)and,mostdivineofporcelain
altars,myloo(No!It'soneofthosewhereyoucanexamineyourshit
afterwards).AndIdon'tevenmention(Orrather,Iamgoingto)thatthey
consideritweirdthatweputchocolateonourbread(Chocolatepaste,
chocolatehagel,etc.)andthefacttheirourbreadispre-sliced.
Ireallydon'tknowhowtoreactproperlytoallthis.HereIam,sitting
andlivinginacountrywhereIfeelATHOME,youknow,andthenthesetwo
chappiesfromtheNorthcomeintoyellabuseisit(Withtheexception
thattheydon'tactuallyYELLitbutinsteadusethecalmtoneofvoice
usuallyassociatedwithparentswhoknowtheirkidsareinthewrongand
patientlyexplainthistothem.)
WhereisStefan?Well,actuallyIknowwhereheis.He'sprobablylying
withhisassinthesun,flankedbyagorgeousGuatemalette,havingno
problematallwithforgettingallaboutmeandmyterribleordealof
havingtoentertaintwototallyinsultingNorwegianswhohaveatthis
momenttakenuppossesionofmyownST,toleavemetypingthisona
battery-poweredZ88.
Andtopofthat,thelocalvideostoreconsidereditapprorpiatetosend
ushomewiththeknowledgethattheyallownovideostobereservedduring
thefestiveseason.WithapendingvideoorgyoncomingWednesday,this
mightwellbethemagicingredientneededforthecreationofadisaster
(Ieabout10peoplebeingatmyplace,lookingatmeexpectantly,andme
Çgoingaroundforanothercoffee).
Sigh.Whatliesaheadofme?Ifeelverystrangeindeed,whatwithme
beingtheonlypersontodefendtheDutchCulture(Domindthecapital
there!).IusuallyspitonHolland,butallofitbecomespainfully
differentwhenotherpeoplestartcriticisingsuchpersonalthingsasyour
owntoilet!
Richard
16:59
Igatherwehaven'tbeenverynicetoRichardsofar,butIhopehewill
forgiveustonightwhenwewillcelebratealateChristmaseve.Wehave
gotsomeverynicegiftswithus.I'mdefinitelylookingforwardtoit!
StillIthinkDutchpeopleareweird.Whydotheyforinstancegrowmoss
onthepavements?Plantsaresupposedtobegrowinginflowerbedsnotin
thestreets!
Leif
17:32
Iguessthesechapsarenottoobadafterall.Themusicgetsbetter
(WhistlerCourboisWhistler'sdebut),thelightgetsdimmer,andI'vejust
increasedthebootsectorvirusanalysisbitinmyviruskilleraftersome
short(Butdefinitelyrequired.Kaiquote!)suggestionsbyMr.Holst.
Somehow,it'snowover7timesfasterinsteadofjust4.5orsomething.I
feeleerielycontentaboutallthis.Ihavenoinspirationnow,though,so
Iwillquitfornow.
Richard
17:40
SonowI'vetaughtRichardhowtosavealotofcodeinGFABasic,I've
debuggedhisaswellasmyownviruskiller,I'vebeenlisteningtosome
divinemusic(Withexceptionofthelastsong),andthisentireX-mas
journeyreallyseemstobegoingwell.Thefoodisgreat,howeverunusual.
Ianticipatesomecreativedaysaheadofusall,hopefullyboth
concerningtheprogrammingofcertaincompetitingviruskillersaswellas
thewritingofreal-timearticlesandshortstories.ItseemsasifIhave
convincedRichardthatmyprogrammingjustmightbeatinylittlebit
betterthanhis,andheisatthisverymomentconvertingsomepartofhis
DATAintoafasterformat.Themusicinthebackgroundisgently
comfortingmyears,andanothermealisactuallycomingupinhalfanhour
already.Myinspirationtowrite,howeverhumbleitmayactuallybe,has
nowtotallyleftme.ThereforeIshallleavethisZ88inordernotto
botheranyeventualreaderswithalotofcraptalk!
Kai
18:17
Inspirationseemstobethetopicoftheday!Lackinginalldepartments.
OnlyIamleftwithanythingremotelyresemblingit.Whenitcomesto
programmingthereseemstobenoendofinspiration.Thismaybecomea
longnight...Howmanyviruskillersdoestheworldneedanyway?Thereis
onlyafinitenumberofvirusesoutthere,butapparentlythereis
infinitewaystokillthem,oratleastintheappearancewhenthekilling
actuallyisexecuted.Whycouldn'tjustpeoplestartbeingnicetoeach
Çotherandstopmakingvirusesaltogether?AmIbeingnaiveorwhat?
Ofcoursethenallviruskillerprogrammerswouldlosetheirjobsand
wouldbecomeunemployed,andthatwouldn'tbeverynicewouldit?Andthen
maybetheybecomeangryandstartprogrammingandspreadingvirusesto
gainrevengeonsociety,sincethatisintheworstwayevertheycould
imaginetakingrevenge.Muchworsethanrunningintoasupermarketpumping
holesintoeveryonewithashotgunorfartinginanovercrowdedbus.And
thenobviouslypeoplewouldn'tbenicetoeachotheranymorealthoughthe
viruskillerprogrammerswouldgettheirjobsback.
Leif
20:02
ActuallyLeifhadnotfinishedtheabove,butinthemeantimewehave
unpackedvariousniceXMaspresentsandwe'llbewatching"Twins"onBBC.
SobasicallythisisallI'llbewritingfornow.
Richard
21:47
WehavejustfinishedwatchingTwinsonBritishBroadcastingCompany.It
isacutelittlefilm,justtotallymarredbytheinevitable"I'llbe
back"andanincrediblypatheticending.
KaiandRichardarebacktearingouteachother'shairovertheir
respectivevirus-killers,justunderliningmypointconcerningtheworld
beingfarbetteroffwithoutvirus-killersandvirus-killerprogrammers.
Well,continuingmyargument,viruskiller(Ijustaskediftheywrite
virus(-)killerwithorwithoutahyphen,andgottwodifferentanswers
leavingmesomewhatbewildered)programmersbeingbackinbusinesssimply
completesthecircle,sincetheyagainwillstartquarrelingandwewill
againhavetobenicetoeachotherandherewegoagain.
Theneighboursareapparentlyhavingsomekindofpartyoraerobics
workoutorsomething,soIhadtovisitthestereoputtingonaWASPCDI
broughtwithme.KaiisjustnowstandingonmyneckwatchingwhatI'm
writingandsuddenlymyinspirationdecidedtotakeanight'svacation.
Leif
22:15
"Istherealove,toshelterme?Onlylove,comesetmefree!"Sorry
aboutthatone:Iwasjustslightlyoverwhelmedbythemusicwehaveput
onhere,butwhichwillprobablybeturnedoffinamatterofminutesas
MirandaseemstobeabouttowatchtheCosbyshow.Orisshe?I'llleave
thesubjectforawhile...Oh,yeah-Thisnighthassofarbeenasuccess,
eventhoughIknowmydearfriendLeifwouldverymuchliketohaveasip
ofthedivinefluidtotopifoff.Myself,Ihavetasteditbefore,as
Richardactuallygavemeabottleofitformyeighteenthbirthday,some
fourandahalfmonthsago.
IwillleaveittoRichardtodescribetheimportantmostoftheChristmas
presentswegavehim.Heiscurrentlypouringoversomesimpleproblem
concerningsomethingasBASICasrecognizingbootsectors.Tomeitseems
asifhehaswrittenhimselfintoacorner!Wait-Therejustcamean
admission:Thereasonwhyhecouldn'trecognizeasimplevirusonthe
bootsectorofafloppydiskwasthatheactuallyIMMUNIZEDthedisksome
tenminutesago.(Nowonder...)ThatmustreallybetheBugoftheyear,
Richard...Anywayhe'ssorteditoutbynow.
1992.Well,ithassurelybeenaratherhecticyearforbothofthe
ÇpresentNuttyNorwegians!Ihavemovedaroundacoupleoftimesandbegun
atanewschool,Leifhasalsomovedacoupleoftimesandhasanewjob
asateacher,andtotopTHAToffwearebothinHolland.Somepartofmy
mindstillhasn'tunderstoodtherealityofthatstatement,andhasto
repeatitagainandagaintorealizeit.However,thetopicofthe
evening,inspiration,stillhasn'tjoinedmehere,soI'llabandonthe
keys...
Kai
22:44
YES!Ifeelthedivineflowsofinspirationssurgingthroughmycarpals!
Somehow,thesightofLeifreadingüSTNewsÇVolume7Issue3,Kaicoding
"Antidote"onmySTandMirandasittingonthecouchreading"Dragonquest"
byAnneMcCaffrey.Theatmopshereistotalltrelaxedand,indeed,the
firstPlantiachasbeeninsertedintoourdigestivesystems.Nomatterhow
oftenyoudrinkPlantiac,eachfirstsipofaneveningispuremagic-not
asifthereareangelsurinatingonyourtongue,butanentirehostof
angelsgentlymasturbatingallofyourtastepapallae.
OurauralcavitiesarebeingassaultedbenignantlybyWasp's"TheCrimson
Idol".Kaidotesonit,really,buttheyseemtodosoevenmore
fanaticallyonaNorwegianband(FromTromsø)calledBelCanto-thatthey
bestoweduponmyhumblebeingjustawhileago.Theyseemtobeansome
sortofholy(Orperhapschauvinistic)questtoexpandmymusical
horizons,anditlooksliketheyhaveaddedanotherbandthatdoessoin
anaurallyexcellentway.AfterMadsEriksen,thisisthesecond
band/artistthatImightjustreallystarttodigseriously.Anyway,THEY
areouttostartdiggingDutchbandWhistlerCourboisWhistler,sosome
mutualculturalexchangewillharmnooneIsuppose.
Asamatteroffact,WaspjustceasedplayingandBelCantoisintheCD
playernow.Isurelylikethatfemalevoice.Theyreckonitbeatshellout
ofMariahCarey,butitwouldbelikesayingthatJeanMichelJarrebeats
helloutofRithcieBlackmoreorsomething-althoughtheyarebothfemale
vocalists,thatisjustabouttheonlythingtheyhaveincommon.
IhavenotdescribedanyoftheseNorwegiansyet,bytheway.Isuppose
suchwouldbebeneficiarytoyoubeingabletoabsorbtheatmospherehere.
Ofcourse(Nohardfeelings,Leif!)IwouldliketostartoffwithKai.
He'sgotsortoflongdarkbrownhairnotunlikethatofMadMaxofTEX.
He'sincrediblythin,too.Hisbellyseemslikeablackholeorsomething.
IseeLeifpouringsomemorePlantiacrightnow.Alright!Thisguyjust
tastedhisfirstPlantiacinhislife,andIguessitgoesdownsmoothly.
Ijusthopehewillnotenterthealmostproverbialdrunkennessthat
Skandinaviansoftengetintowhentheycometocountrieswherealcoholis
notonlymorereadilyavailablebutalotcheapertoo(TheCarebearsare
notoriousfordrinking,let'ssay,sortoflarge-ishamountsofalcohol
thatwouldrenderthemunconsciousforthebetterpartoftheensueing
day).
Ihavechangesthebootsectorcoreroutinesofmyviruskilleronceagain
(Justbeforeandafter"Twins")andthisshouldpotentiallyresultina
speedincrease.AfterI'vemanuallyconvertedabout2000datalinesof
sourcecode,thatis.IjusthopeIwillgetitallworkingbeforethe
deadline,whichisthefirstweekofJanuary.It'samind-killingpieceof
workthatrequiresone'sfullattention.Abitofabummer,really.Iwish
Kaiwouldnotkeepontellingmethingstoimprovemyviruskillercodeor
itsspeed!
IamafraidIaminforalotmore.
Iwouldliketoremarkbriefly,bytheway,thattheactressplaying
Marniein"Twins"(KellyPreston)isprobablyoneofthemostlushfemales
everseenonthewhitescreen.Especiallythewayshedrapedherselfon
Çthebed,halfmoonsshowing,toenticeSchwarzenegger(Theluckybastard!)
intobecominginterested.
Anyway.Itrustsomeoneelsemightwanttotypesomething.Orperhaps
not.
Richard
23:55
Richardisalreadygettingdrunk(Well,Iwonderwhy...),soItoldhim
toletmeknowwhenhestartedseeingdouble.ThatwayIcannaghim
doubleupwithouthavingtoworktwiceashardonit.
OurfirstdayinHollandisreallypromisingconcerningeverything.The
Video-Orgyisgoingtobeheldthe30th,andIforeseealongnightfilled
tothebrimwithalotofgreatmoviesandalotoffunwithRichardand
theguysoftheQuartermassExperiment,andwhomeverelseRichardmight
haveinvited.Wejusthadalookattheirtwoatlases(Map-books)tohave
alookatthelatitudedifferenceofVadsø,whereLeiflives,andUtrecht,
wherewehappentoberightnow.Itwassomerathermiserableexcusesthey
hadforatlases,probablymadeintheearlysixtiesorsomething,sowe
didn'tactuallygetmuchoutofthem.Anyway(Ireallylikethatword!),
aswehavejustenteredanotherday,Iwillleavethekeyboardtosomeone
else...
PS:Agreatbookhintfromme:TheauthorGuyGavrielKayhaswrittena
trilogycalled"TheFionavarTapestry",consistingofthebooks"The
SummerTree","TheWanderingFire"and"TheDarkestRoad".Thesearemore
thanworthwhilereading...
Kai
üTuesday,December29th,1992
Ç 01:23
Shutdown!Thatwasabouttime.Mirandafinallygotafirmhandinto
business,physicallyshuttingdownRichard'scomputer.
ItwasatrulydivinemomentwhenIatlastgottotastethedivine
fluid!Talkaboutseeingangels!CheerstoGodthatdoesn'texist!Richard
andMirandaarehavinggreatfuntryingtolearnsomeNorwegianphrases
like"tilslørtebondepiker","lekkerbisken","kanjegfåenmanikyr?"and
soon,"oksestek"wasjustcomingup.Iamstartingtofeelkindof
strangefromtheamountofPlantiacalreadyconsumed,whichdoesstrange
thingswithmyinspirationandmyEnglishlanguageaswell.
Leif
01:41
Itseemsthatmyhumbleabodehasbeentransformedintosomekindof
school.NorwegianandDutchphrasesflytoandfro,sometimesdelicately
interlacedwithvariousbitsofAnglosaxonorigin.Ofcourse,allofthis
iscertaintocauseloadsofhilarity,andindeeditdoes.Aninteresting
musicalnote:AtthemomenttheCDplayergentlyplayssomeofKai's
classicaltake-alongs,apiececalledüAquariumÇbySaint-Saens,excerpt
fromüTheCarnivalofAnimals-GrandZoologicalFantasyÇ.It'squite
impressive-thesortofstuffyouwouldwanttobuyifyoucameacrossit
for10Dutchguilders(Orlessthan40NOKs/£10,incaseyou'rewondering
howmuchthatis).
Knackebrodkneuterneukenetc.KaiandLeifhavelapsedintoNorwegian
again.Ithinkthey'retalkingaboutagirlcalledNinaorsomething.One
ofthemseemstowanttodosomethinginterestingwithher,butIcouldbe
wrongthere.
Ç Inspirationbreakdown.
Bye.
Richard
02:32
It'sgettinglate!Statementoffact.MeandKaihavejustfinishedour
nightmeal,whichourDutchhostsdidn'tparticipatein.Asusualwehad
lotsofchocolateonourbread.Strangehabitthat!
Yeah,it'slate,butweareallgoingstrong.BothKaiandRichard
workingvigorouslyonboththeirmachines,fixingextremelysimplebugson
theirneverendingviruskillers.Althoughtheyareattwodifferent
machinestheyarestillateachother'sthroats.It'sprobablythe
Plantiacurgingforwardcertainemotionsinbothofthem.Sometimesthey
bothactlikemothersprotectingtheirnewbornchildren.
Mirandahasbythewaygonetobed.Notabadideareallyconsideringthe
lateness.ShewasprobablygettingwearyofalltheNorwegiangrammar
talk,althoughshewasactuallyquitegoodatit.Thebestwaytodescribe
herwouldbetosaythatRichardisonehellofaluckyguy.Iwishthem
allthebestofluckinthefuture!Ithinkwewillsoonbesigningoff
allofus.
Leif
03:04
TheseguysjustgoONandON!BynowIwouldreallyhavebeeninbed,but
IthinkIamgoingtoberatherrudeandjusttellthemtohitthesack,
orelse...(Oh,thisviolentworld...)
Richard
11:20
Yep.ThefirstentryonthisseconddayoftheNorwegian'sHollandQuest
(Orwhatevertheycallit).Theportablecomputerisnowlocatedinthe
kitchen,whereKaiisenjoyingsomechocolatepasteonhisbread.The
othersentientbeingsinthishousearestillasleep-IthinkLeifis
sleepingofftheeffectsoftotalPlantiacsatisfaction.HeDIDactually
drinkquiteabitmorethanmostofus.Ihopehewon'thaveahangover,
forotherwisehemightnotlikePlantiacallthatmuchthenexttime(Ie
tonight).
Whathaveweplannedfortoday?Well,Ithinkwe'llfirsthavetodosome
extrashopping.TheseguyshaveabsorbedourentireCokesupplywiththe
exceptionofonebottlethatisnowhomealoneinthefridge,coldand
withoutanyofitsbrethren.Ithinkthepurchaseofacratewouldbein
orderhere.Weneedlotsofmilk,too,andmorebread.
Afterthatwe'llhittown.ThismeansavisittoCDshopWhiteNoise,as
wellasatrialtoclimbtheinfamousDomtowerofUtrecht-thehighest
churchtowerintheNetherlands.We'llalsoattempttogetourgrubby
littlehandsonavideocamerasothatposteritymayenjoyouranticsas
well.Idon'tknowwhatelsewewilldo,butonethingisforsure:About
75%ofmyviruskillerbootsectorsarenolongerrecognizednowthatI
havealteredthedatalineformat.Thislookslikequiteamajorbug-and
indeeditis.IwillHAVEtofixittoday,orotherwiseIshan'tbeable
tocloseaneye(Letalonetwo).
Leifisstillasleep,butIpredicthewon'tbelong.
Richard
Ç
11:29
Acreakingsoundfromthelivingroomdoorindicatesthat,withoutour
interference,Leifhasjoinedtherealmofthewidelyawake.
Richard
12:00
Yes,I'mup!MuchtothedelightofKaiandRichard,sincetheyotherwise
wereconfinedtosilence,athingthosetwoguystogetherarenotvery
goodat!
Ididinfactsleepquitewellthisnight,althoughitwasforthesecond
timeonthecouch.Well,I'mgettingusedtoit.TodayIlookforwardto
investigatingthecityabitmorethoroughlythanwedidfromthebus
windowyesterday.I'vebeentoldthatweplantovisitagoodCDshopand
wearegoingtoconquerthehighestchurchtowerinthewholeofHolland.
Asflatasthiscountryapparentlyisthatprobablymeanswearegoingto
beabletotellthetimeonBigBenandwatchalpineskiersin,well,
obviouslytheAlps!Timewilltell.
Leif
13:04
Now,finally,afteranentiredayofwaiting,we'regoingtotown!!!
Kai
14:45
TheDom-Morethansixhundredyearsofhistorynowtowersaboveuswith
majesticgraceandbeauty.Yes,wewillinafewminutescommenceona
guidedtourofthehighestchurch-towerofHolland,whichisastallas
112meters.Ibelievewewillactuallygetonly100metersupourself,but
itwillstillbesomewhatofachangecomparedtothecurling,twisting
streetsofdowntownUtrecht.Mycoldfingershaveproblemsfindingthe
correctkeysontheZ88,sowewillnowenterthetoweritself.
Kai
14:55
OnthetopoftheDom,atthehighestpublicallyaccessibleplaceat100
metres(About300feet),thedecreaseofgravityandthethinnerquality
oftheairmakedifferentthoughtsappear.Suddenlyweseetinyspecks,
smallhumans,roamingthestreetinwhatseemstobetotallyunorderly
fashion.It'squiteincredible,fromthisperspective,thatthosetiny
maggots,mankind,areactuallycapableofreason.Itcanbediscussed
whetherweactuallyDOreason,butthatisbeyondthelimitedscopeof
thisreal-timearticle.
Er?
Justnow,thebells,about25metresbelowus,startedtoplaysometune.
Itsoundseerielyinteresting.ItstruckamightyüONEÇ,üONEÇ,üONEÇ,üONEÇas
well.Uphere,you'refeelingasifyou'resittingontopoftheworld,
really.Andit'snotevenparticularlyhighonthescaleof,say,a
Norwegianmountain.
Richard
Ç
17:50
We'vearrivedbackatmyplace.SomeCDshavebeenbought,aswellas
somejeansandbooks.It'sdarkalready-thoughbynowithasprobably
beendarkinNorwayforhoursalready.
Itstillachestothinkbacktothosesevereblowstomybiorythm.It
stillfeelesgoodtothinkbacktotheLIGHT.
Leifimmediatelyhittheshower.Itdidn'thitback.
Richard
18:32
No,theshowerwasn'tofaviolentnature.Itwasactuallyquitenice,
althoughittooktimesincethewaterstreamcomingoutwasinfactas
unliketheNiagarafallsasastreamcanbeandstillresemblewater.
StillIgotthroughscrapingoffallthedirtandputtingonnewclothes.
Leif
19:49
Richardisfranticallytryingtomakesenseofsomeofmyprogramming
tips,eventhoughtheyareactuallyverysimpleandlogical.Mylegsstill
hurtafterourtriptotowntoday;Theywerefrozenstiff!Butdinnerseem
tobeonitsway(Food!),andinsultingRichard'swayofprogramminghas
broughtmeintoabrilliantmood.
Wemanagedtogetholdofpostcardsintown,soIshalllateronwrite
somethingtomydedicatedfriends,aswellasthemostbrilliantgirl(Or
shouldIsaywoman?)Ievermet.Wealsoarrangedourrentalofavideo
camerawithwhichtoimmortalizetheVideoOrgyandtherestofourstay,
Itastedtheleasthotchili-sauceI'veevertasted,I'veseentheworld
fromabutterfly'spointofviewandI'vehadfun.ButnowIthinkIshall
getbacktohelpRichard;Heseemstobehavingsomeproblems.
Kai
20:03
Kaimentionedpostcards.Ihaveboughtloadsofthem,15tobeexact,but
acloserestimationhasresultedinmehavingtowriteto19humanbeings.
Onecouldalmostthinkthatonetravelsherejusttobuyloadsof
postcards,sendingthemtoallone'sfriendstoprovethatonehas
actuallybeenhere,andthentravelbackhome.Notmuchpointinthat
really.InNorwegiancardistranslatedtokortwhichalsomeansshortand
thatisexcactlyhowI'mwritingmycards.Idowantmyrightarmtostill
bealivewhenIreturntoNorway!
Justlikeyesterdaymywritingisbeinginteruptedbythetablebeing
clearedandmadereadyforsomeofMiranda'sdivinecooking!
RichardisbythewayquitegoodatplayingthebasslinesofMetallica
tunesonhissixstringacousticguitar.Heclaimsheisreallybad,but
isn'tthatwhatpeoplealwaysdowhentheywantsomeonetosaysomething
nice.Butanyway,heisquitegood!
Dinnerisgettingcold.Can'thavethatcanwe?
Leif
21:07
Ç Feelingstuffed!NowwemustlookatsomepicturesfromtheNorwegian
Questthingy,Richardisinsisting.
Leif
(Timeunknown-Leifforgot!)
We'reconsumingthatfluidagain.Thatwetnesscomingdownmythroatand
almostmakingmestartbelievinginsomearcanepower,sothatIwould
havesomeonetothankandbegformore!
Thepicturesweren'tonlyfromtheNorwegianQuestbytheway,butall
sortsofpicturesofallsortsofSTpersonalitiesRichardhasmet(Lucky
bastard)duringhisSTcareer;includingamongothersNikofThe
Carebears,MichaelBittner,JochenHippel,SteveBak,JeffMinter(That
Llama/Camelguy)andPeterJohnsen.Iespeciallynotedthelastguy
becausehemadetheSTconversionofWizballwhichisoneofmyalltime
favouriteSTgame.Irememberhoursof"painting"thatgreyworldinall
kindsofcolours,mecontrollingthewizardandafriendofminedoingall
thedirtyworkwiththecat.It'stotally,mind-blowingly,first-time-
fuckingly,addictivlyincredible!Especiallyintwo-playermodewhereyou
simplyHAVEtocooperate.Isuddenlymissmycolourmonitorterribly.
Richardhasgottwomonoones,butthatdoesn'thelpmemuch.
RightnowwearewaitingforafilmtomaterializeitselfonRichard's
windowedboxcontaininganelectroncannon.Thefilm'scalledGorillasin
theMistandhasSigourneyWeaverinitsortofplayingthemaincharacter
notbadlyatall.It'scomingupinaquarterofanhour.
Kaiisout,orheisstillinsideofcourse,takingashowerandprobably
alsoexperiencingthetotaloppositeof"Voringsfossen"(Afamous
Norwegianwaterfall.Ihaven'tdaredtellingRichardabouthisshower's
totallackofimpactonyourbody,becausehehasstartedcomplaining
ratherloudlyonallmyremarksregardingstrangethingsaboutHolland.
Andthoseremarksareaddingupwardstowardsverymanybynow.
"üMYGODI'MSOGOODÇ".Richardquoteafterfixingsomethinginhisvirus
killerbyKai'scommand!
Thoseremarksbecomingacrowdafterawhile,probablyisacombination
ofmebeingverynaughtyattimesandthiscountrybeingextremelysilly
inmanyrespects!Idon'tknowwhichisthemostdominant,butIguess
Richardhassomestrongopinionconcerningthat!
No"GorillasintheMist"isthemessagebeingtransmittedthroughthe
soundwavesinthelivingroomrightnow.ApparentlyBBC'ssignalsand
Richard'selectroncannonaren'tthebestoffriendsatthetimebeingand
thatmeansnofilm!
Leif
22:44
Oooooh,thatshowerreallyhitthespot,sotospeak.Ifeelcleansedand
comfortable,andamcurrentlyenjoyingacooldrinkandawarmatmosphere.
RichardistryingtocalculatehowlonghisrecognitionDATA-linesareon
average,andIthinkIgavehimacoupleofideasonhowtodothat
easier.Hey,itactuallyincreased?Well,toughshitforhim.TheTVset
iscurrentlyshowingsomeDutchshowIdon'tunderstandasinglewordof,
andtheoccasionaltuneofmusicisalsoaudible.Richardwantsmetodo
somecoding...Bye!
Kai
22:55
Ç Actuallyitwassortofaninvitationforhimtodosomeofhisown
enhancingon"Antidote",butasfarasIcanseenowheisbasically
screwingaroundwithmyviruskillersource.Justnowhesawsomething
ratherstupidandimmediatelychangedit.Itrusthimutterly,ofcourse.
WejustateHutspotwithonions,andI'malreadyfartingabit.Well,not
abitactually.Alot.AsyouseeithappensquitealotthatIreferto
bodilyprocesses,ashasbeforebeenobservedproperlybyMr.Jurie
Horneman(AkaRelayerofQX)duringtheDeltaForceICC#2.Ireallydon't
caremuchaboutmybodilyprocesses,buttheyjusthappentobeprevalent
sometimes.
LeifisatthemomentreadingthepreviousüSTNewsÇissueagain.Sometimes
hesmiles,sometimeshelaughsoutloud.Iguesshelikesit,especially
theCronosinWonderlandbit.
IwillhaveabrieflookatwhatKai'supto,andafterthatIthinkI
willhittheporcelainGod(Forthefirsttimeintwoorthreedays,I'd
liketodetail).
Richard
23:16
AAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh....
Thatwasagood'un.AndTerryPratchett(Somepeopletakeanewspaperto
theirlittleroom,IhappenedtotakePratchett's"Guards!Guards!"with
me)wasquitebrilliant-atleastthebitIcouldreadduringmybrief
sessionofexcretion.
DidyouknowthatKaiisquitelikeawalkingüSTNewsÇencyclopaedia?He
keepsonrelatingalmostancientüSTNewsÇwritingtocurrent-dayreality.
Andwhat'sworse,heevendoesthiswithallcrazyletterseverwritten.
IncludingtheonesoftheoldNuttytimeswiththeF-wordandRonny,and
evenmostofthelettersthatgotsenttoME.Atleastitprovestome
thattherearesomepeople(OratleastONE)whodigüSTNewsÇsufficiently
toactuallyreadmostofit.Iwishthereweremorelikethat.Mostpeople
justlookatmewithapolitelyblankexpressionwheneverImention
GoogogulpexortheMaxiMutantMegaMonsterofMultifizzicOmega.Notso
withKai,probably.He'sprobablyevenremembertheMorderousGnaerhelm
andtheSpermWhaleDishconsumed,MENcalledGroHarlemBrundtlandanda
wholehostofother,evenmoreabsurdthings.
Allinall,weseemtohavewrittenslightlyaround35Kbbynow.It's
notactuallygettingonaseasyaslasttime-but,thenagain,lasttime
wasattheDeltaForceICC#2whichhasatleasttwoorthreedozenactive
real-timearticleparticipants.
Soit'squitsfornow.
ButnotafterIhavesaidthatmybiorythmhasalreadybeenshifted
slightly.Mybodytellsmeit'saboutsevenintheevening,whereasin
realityitisnowalmosthalfpasteleven.
That'sreallyitfornow.Iamgoingtoindulgemypapillaeagain.
Richard
üWednesday,December30th,1992
Ç 00:26
I'vejustfinishedreadingthroughthehiddenarticlesofüSTNewsÇ7.3,
andIcan'tsayIfeelveryentertainedhavingreadaboutmaggotsandsick
peoplegenerally.Ireallydon'tseethepointofwritingsucharticles.
Thehiddenonesoftheearlier7generationareevenworseinfact
concerningsickpeopledoingsickthingstootheranimateandinanimate
people.What'sthepoint?Theworldissickenoughasitisconsidering
eventsrecentlyinJugoslaviaandSomalianotforgettingMaastrichta
whileago...Whyinadditiondowehavetofacethesickfantasyofpeople
Çwithtotallytwistedmental(Hopefully)ideasofsexualsatisfaction?My
dickatleaststaysunchanged.SomeofthearticlesIhaven'tevenmanaged
togetthroughfully.ü[CENCORED]Ç,Isuddenlygotinagoodmood,andthat
meansIcan'tcontinuewritingthis,discussionended,pointmade!
Thereasonformysuddenpermanentflashofnicebrainwavesfloodingmy
mindwassomejokesmadebyallofus.Thejokesareabitrudewhich
meanstheywon'tbeincludedinthisarticlewhichmostprobablywillnot
behidden.
RichardandKaiareagainabsorbedinthetransmissionofphotonsfrom
theirrespectiveSM124senhancing(Oratleastchanging)theirmicro-
organismslayers.Thereseemstobenoendofinspirationinfindingmore
subtlewaysinwreckinghavocamongthosegerms!
Richardhasbytheway,recentlyputontheBelCantoCDhegotfor
Christmas.Hereallyseemstoenjoythateerie,mood-inspiringmusic.Bel
Canto,bytheway,isaNorwegiangroup,originatingfromTromsø,thetown
whereI'mfrom.Theirleadfigure,thefemalevocalistAnneliDrecker,has
(Asmalldelayhere,whenRichardexplainedhiscontinuedfartingasa
faultoccuringalongthelinesofhisearlierlifespan(GAS-ATTACK-he
diditagain!!!ThosefartsarenearingGuinnesrecordlengths!))avoice
totallyunresemblingRichard'sfarts.Andheblaimsitontheonionswe
hadfordinner!
Leif
01:13
BelCantoisgettingbetterandbetter."Spiderdust"thisparticularsong
iscalled,soKaiinformsmewithzeal.
Itseemsthatevenotherpeoplecannotactuallyrefrainfrommaking
referencestomyparticularmetabolics.
Anyway,Iamatthemomenttryingtogettogetherenoughinformationto
recognizethePompeyPacker1.9f(Orsomethingthereabouts)inthe
UltimateVirusKillerlinkvirussearch.Asithappens,though,thePompey
Packerismuchtooslowtobeofpracticaluseandbasicallywhatthis
meansisthatIwon'tbeabletousemycomputerforatleastanother30
minutesuntilitfinishespackinga<70Kbtestprogramfile.Ihavehad
peopletellmeoftenthatPackIce2.40isnotactuallyfastestorbest,
butallthealternativestheyseeareactuallyeithergruesomelyslow
(LikethePompeyPacker)ortotallyincompatiblewithprogramscompiledby
GfABasic(Atom3.5).Sofar,PackIcestillseemstobethebestaround,
thoughKaimentionedthatitmightbeagoodideatoactuallyuseTWO
packerswhenpacking-oneaverageoneandAtom3.5afterwards,which
shouldnotcreateproblemsevenwithGFABasiccompilations.
Hm.'Compilations'doesn'texactlymean'programsthatwereoriginally
GfAbasicsourcefilesbutthathavebeencompiledwiththeGfABasic
compiler',nowdoesit?Ihatetosaythis,buttheGermanlanguagehas
theword'compilat'tocoverthisandnoneoftheothercivilized
languagesseemto.NotevenDutchorthevastlyextensiveEnglishdialect.
Actually,myanalexplosionsaregettingprogressivelysmelly.
Ilikethat.
Richard
01:42(...)
Ohjoy.Ohpleasure.weareabouttowitnessMoviehistory,asRichardis
preparingtheüSTNewsÇhomevidforus,threehoursofuttermadness.Well,
there'ssomethingwrongwithhisTVsetsohehastoreplaceitwithone
theyhaveinthesparebedrooom.well,don'texpectanyimmediate
reactions,becauseIanticipatesomeratherun-spasmicbodymovementsin
Çthegeneraldirectionofourbedsafterwards.(Threehoursfromnow!!!)
Kai
04:14
Includingfast-forwindingtheboringbits,wehavejustnowfinished
viewingtheHomeVid'.Itbroughtupoldmemories,theperformanceof
Stefanandmedoing"One"beingtheundubitableclimax.AlthoughIwould
notwanttobebackatthattime,thingslikethismakemefeelnicethat
atleastIspentsometimeinatimeIwouldnotliketobeinnow.
Leifisraidingthefridgeagain.Iguessit'saparticularlyNorwegian
habittodothat-muchinthewayitissupposedtobeatypicallyDutch
habittodrapeyoursolidexcretasomewherewhereyoucanactuallyexamine
itbeforeitbeingflusheddowntheirevokablepitofdamnation.
Richard
04:23
Ihavetheliving-roomonmyownnowthatRichardhasgonetojoin
Mirandaintheirbedroom,andLeifhascorrectlyoccupiedtheirsparebed.
BasicallyhedidthatbecausetheprevioustwonightsI'vebeensleeping
inbedsandhe'sbeensleepingoncouches,sonowwe'rereversingroles.
BilboandCronos,thetwopethamsters,arebothactiveandmakinglotsof
noise,soIhopeIwon'thaveanytroublegettingsomesleep.Thatisis
forthenight.
Kai
12:40
Backfromtown.Thevideocameraishere,andtheNuttiesareatthe
momentbreakingtheirfast.Igotupratherearly-athalfpastten,to
bemoreexact.Weareatthemomenttryingtothinkofatitleforthe
HomeVid'thatwillbemadeinthenextfewdays.Perhapsitwillbe"Ooh
thatwasnice"(AsopposedtoOUCHHomeVid'),orTheNotOUCHHomeVid'.
Perhapswe'llthinkofsomethingbetterbeforewestart.
Richard
12:50
Withinseveralminutes(Ifnotless)wewillbeofftothelocalshopping
mall(Well,it'sactuallyamallette)togetthevideosfortheorgy
tonight,aswellassomecrispsandstuff.
Richard
14:40
Backfromtheshoppingspree.We'reofftotheswimmingpoolnow.
Richard
19:02
Backagain.We'vebeenswimmingquiteawhile,notgettingoutofthe
wateruntilhalfpastfour.Afterthatwe,well,gotoutandwenttobuy
variousrefreshmentsandcrispsfortonight.
Ç Nowwewillgoandmakethetitlesforourvideo.
Richard
19:28
WehavejustfinishedfilmingthetitlesequencefortheHomevid'
withoutaname,Thehomevidwefoundnonameforet.c.Itwaspretty
stunning,withaVangelissoundtrack(Unfortunatelynotexclusively
writtenforthehomevid')andrealtimeartworkbyRichard.Filmingwas
donebyyourstruly,andLeifwastheDJ.Inlessthan45minuteswe
expecttheQuartermassExperimenttodropby,andthenthevideoorgywill
commence!!!
Kai
19:32
Cacophonyplays.Ifeelslightlychloric,probablybecauseofitbeingin
Dutchswimmingwater.Actually,Iwouldliketosaythatwe'vespentmost
ofourtimetryingtodrowneachother.Asamatteroffact,wedida
totalof42drownings(Yes,wecounted).It'squiteimpossibletodrown
Leif,bytheway,becausehesimplyclampsintoadeathlyembraceand
dragsyoudownaswell.
Theswimmingpoolwasfilledwithveryyoungpeople.Littleboysand
girls,actually,notexceedingtheestimatedageoftwelve.WhereasI
don'thaveanypedarastictendencies,Ihavetosaythatthefutureof
mankindlookspromising.Atleastwhenitisdressedinfluorescent
bathingsuits.
Outside,pre-adolescentsaredesperatelytryingtogetattentionby
lettingvariousfireworkthingiesblowup.Ican'tblamethem,really.If
youcannotmakeyourselfstandoutofthecrowdbecauseallofthem
includingyourselfaredimwittedandlikehousemusic,Iguessthisisthe
perfectway.Anditevenbothersthepeoplearoundthemabit.Whatmore
doyouwant?
ActuallyIknowsomethingthatIwouldwant.Mirandaisoutatthe
moment,andsheprobablywon'tbebackuntilaroundmidnight.Shewentto
eatwithsomeofherfriends(Actuallytheyarefemalefriends,butI
guessoneshouldn'tusethephrasegirlfriendshere).
Kaiiscodingagain.Wheneverhefindsasparemoment(Or,evenbetter,
twoormoreofthem)hestartsmakinghisviruskillerevenbetter.Asit
isitisalreadyprettydamnfastandalmostfourtimesassmallasmine-
butIdon'tmindreally.Competitionisgoodfortheconsumer,andnowI
knowIwilljusthavetoworkmyassoffinordertoretainmyheadstart.
WhereaspreviouslyIhadscaredoftheFloppyshop'sviruskillertaking
awaypieceofthemarket,Iamnowactuallymuchmorefrightenedof
"Antidote"doingso.TheFloppyshopviruskiller,bytheway,hasnotbeen
supportedforaconsiderableamountoftimeandIseemtorecallitnot
evenrecognizingthelaterimmunizationmethods.
Enoughfromme.AnytimenowIexpectpeopletodropin.Intheorywe
shouldbewatchingvideosforthecomingtwelvehours-afterwhichwe'll
beknackeredutterly,Iguess.
PerhapsIhavestillstufftosay.Yes.Iwillmakeashortsummaryof
thevideosweintendtowatch.Firstofall,"TheFisherKing".It'sa
versionwithNorwegiansubtitleswhichLeifandKaigavemeforChristmas
(Cheersguys!).Then"TheLandbeforeTime",theoriginalEnglishversion
thatIhappentoown.It'squitegoodandevensortofsensitive.Nowfor
theoneswerentedthisafternoonatthevideostore:"RobinHood,Prince
ofThieves","Flatliners","BatmanReturns","UniversalSoldier","Father
oftheBride"and"TheNightbreed".Idon'tknowtheorderyet.AllIhope
Çisthattheboozeandcrispswillkeepalltheattendantssatisfiedlong
enough.
NowI'vereallywrittenenough.
Richard
19:48
I'vesuddenlyrealizedthatIhaven'twrittenasinglelinetoday.
Shockingreallyconsideringmypreviousproductivity!Anyway,todayhas
beenquiteeventfulalready(Thefirstguestjustarrivedsomeonecalled
Scumorsomething),anditwillbecomeevenmoreso,withthisvideoorgy
happeningtonight.Itisinfactjustabouttostarthappening.
Wehadgreatfunattheswimming-pooltoday,drowningeachother42
times,blockingtheglideandsoon.I'mprettyexhaustedactually,butI
WILLsurvivethenight.Scumisareallyniceguy,heistryingbravelyto
readsomeNorwegian,succedingnotquitealot!
Igottafetchsomethingliquidtoputinmymouth.Bye.
Leif
19:58
I(Tjeerd)justputMarillion's'B'sidesthemselves'onRichardsCD-
player(He'sgotaCDP997fromSonyAAAAARRRRGGGHHH,it'sthebest).
We'rewaitingfortherestnow.ItseemstheZ88onwhichthistextis
writtenisrunninglowonbatteriessoRichardwillportthistexttohis
ST.Byefornow.
Tjeerd.
üENDOFPARTONEÇ