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- From: bantolph@carina.unm.edu (Bard's are the Best)
- Subject: Good Sacrifical Daggaars
- Message-ID: <t+mm#b+@lynx.unm.edu>
- Date: Tue, 28 Jul 92 01:52:26 GMT
- Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque
- Lines: 31
-
- Has anybody out there bought a sacrifical daggar lately? If
- you have I'm sure you'll notice the quality has gone down drastically
- from the good ol' 16th century. No longer can you find one with a
- real skull at the hilt or with a snake winding it's way up the handle.
- The problem is the cheap imported crap coming in from Taiwan. It's all
- chincy plastic just molded into whatever shape they can think of, and
- the shapes are not even all that evil.
- And then there is the issue of blade quality. Of the four I have
- bought in the last century three have rusted badly and the fourth was
- made of aluminum which bent while I was driving it through an infant and
- into the altar. It damn screwed up the whole ritual; and let me tell
- you...the master was MOST UNPLEASED!
- My last daggar was priceless. It was borne of fire from the cracks
- of the earth and quenced with human blood. The handle was of ivory and
- had a serpants body curling around up to the hilt where the cranium of
- a former master of the black arts was mounted. Inside burned evil that
- knew no bounds. The handle was also barbed and made your hand bleed when
- you gripped it. The blood spilled down on a wavy blade of the darkest
- steel that seemed to suck in the light. Many a being fell to my blade.
- Unfortunately 157 years ago when I was killing a preist he
- wrestled me into a vat of holy water and the blade cracked and disinteg-
- rated. Boy was I furious, and I made him pay dearly for that.
- Ever since then I have had to do with cut rate cutlary that isn't
- worth a drop of lambs blood. If anyone knows of a good cult shop or has
- a good blade they are willing to part with please contact me by carving
- a double pentagram in the ground under a full moon, spilling human
- blood around the perimeter and uttering the words "Blah Meg Demicrom!"
- six-hundred and sixty six times to the moon itself.
-
- I would say thanks but I am not a very nice guy.
-
-