BBS in a Box 3

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MacBinary | 1992-02-13 | 31.6 KB | [DFIL/DMOV]
open in:
MacOS 8.1 extracted |
Win98 extracted |
DOS extracted
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view as text

This file was processed as: MacBinary (archive/macBinary).

You can browse this item here: Lawyer Jokes DA
Confidence	Program	Detection	Match Type	Support
`10%`	dexvert	MacBinary `(archive/macBinary)`	fallback	Supported
`100%`	file	MacBinary II, inited, Wed Jun 12 11:10:00 1991, modified Thu Feb 13 16:26:48 1992, creator Font/DA Mover, type 'DFIL' "Lawyer Jokes DA", at 0x80 32213 bytes resource Apple HFS/HFS+ resource fork, map offset 0x7c9f, map length 0x136, data length 0x7b9f, nextResourceMap 0x86c86, fileRef 0x2f2, list offset 0x1c, name offset 0xfe, 10 types, 0x44525652 'DRVR' * 1 resource offset 0x52	default (weak)
`99%`	file	Adobe Photoshop Color swatch, version 0, 256 colors; 1st RGB space (0), w 0x7c9f, x 0, y 0x7b9f, z 0 ; 2nd space (310), w 0, x 0, y 0, z 0	default (weak)
`98%`	file	data	default
`100%`	TrID	MacBinary 2	default (weak)
`100%`	siegfried	fmt/1762 MacBinary (II)	default
`100%`	lsar	MacBinary	default
id metadata
key	value
macFileType	`[DFIL]`
macFileCreator	`[DMOV]`
hex view
+--------+-------------------------+-------------------------+--------+--------+
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|00003ea0| 73 2c 20 61 6e 64 20 61 | 73 6b 65 64 20 22 48 6f |s, and a|sked "Ho|
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|00003ed0| 46 6f 6c 6c 6f 77 69 6e | 67 20 61 20 64 69 73 74 |Followin|g a dist|
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|00003ef0| 63 61 72 65 65 72 2c 20 | 61 20 6d 61 6e 20 61 72 |career, |a man ar|
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|00003f20| 63 6f 6d 70 61 6e 69 65 | 64 20 62 79 20 74 68 65 |companie|d by the|
|00003f30| 20 50 6f 70 65 2c 20 77 | 68 6f 20 68 61 64 20 74 | Pope, w|ho had t|
|00003f40| 68 65 20 6d 69 73 66 6f | 72 74 75 6e 65 20 74 6f |he misfo|rtune to|
|00003f50| 20 65 78 70 69 72 65 0d | 6f 6e 20 74 68 65 20 73 | expire.|on the s|
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|00004010| 65 73 74 61 62 6c 69 73 | 68 6d 65 6e 74 2e 20 20 |establis|hment.  |
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|00004080| 6f 6f 6c 2c 20 61 20 67 | 61 72 64 65 6e 2c 20 61 |ool, a g|arden, a|
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|000040e0| 74 6f 6c 64 20 53 74 2e | 20 50 65 74 65 72 2c 20 |told St.| Peter, |
|000040f0| 22 49 27 6d 20 72 65 61 | 6c 6c 79 20 71 75 69 74 |"I'm rea|lly quit|
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|00004130| 70 65 20 77 61 73 20 67 | 69 76 65 6e 20 73 75 63 |pe was g|iven suc|
|00004140| 68 20 73 6d 61 6c 6c 20 | 61 63 63 6f 6d 6d 6f 64 |h small |accommod|
|00004150| 61 74 69 6f 6e 73 2e 22 | 20 0d 53 74 2e 20 50 65 |ations."| .St. Pe|
|00004160| 74 65 72 20 72 65 70 6c | 69 65 64 2c 20 22 57 65 |ter repl|ied, "We|
|00004170| 20 68 61 76 65 20 6f 76 | 65 72 20 61 20 68 75 6e | have ov|er a hun|
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|000041b0| 68 20 74 68 65 6d 2e 20 | 20 57 65 27 76 65 20 6e |h them. | We've n|
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|000041d0| 72 2e 22 0d 0d 0d 51 75 | 65 73 74 69 6f 6e 3a 20 |r."...Qu|estion: |
|000041e0| 44 6f 20 79 6f 75 20 6b | 6e 6f 77 20 68 6f 77 20 |Do you k|now how |
|000041f0| 74 6f 20 73 61 76 65 20 | 66 69 76 65 20 64 72 6f |to save |five dro|
|00004200| 77 6e 69 6e 67 20 6c 61 | 77 79 65 72 73 3f 0d 41 |wning la|wyers?.A|
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|00004220| 3a 20 47 6f 6f 64 21 0d | 0d 0d 57 68 79 20 64 6f |: Good!.|..Why do|
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|00004240| 61 74 74 6f 72 6e 65 79 | 73 3f 0d 50 72 6f 66 65 |attorney|s?.Profe|
|00004250| 73 73 69 6f 6e 61 6c 20 | 63 6f 75 72 74 65 73 79 |ssional |courtesy|
|00004260| 2e 0d 0d 0d 51 3a 20 57 | 68 79 20 64 6f 20 6d 61 |....Q: W|hy do ma|
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|00004280| 61 6c 6c 79 20 77 65 61 | 72 20 74 69 67 68 74 20 |ally wea|r tight |
|00004290| 73 68 69 72 74 20 63 6f | 6c 6c 61 72 73 0d 20 20 |shirt co|llars.  |
|000042a0| 20 61 6e 64 20 74 69 65 | 73 3f 0d 41 3a 20 49 74 | and tie|s?.A: It|
|000042b0| 20 6b 65 65 70 73 20 74 | 68 65 69 72 20 66 6f 72 | keeps t|heir for|
|000042c0| 65 73 6b 69 6e 73 20 66 | 72 6f 6d 20 63 72 65 65 |eskins f|rom cree|
|000042d0| 70 69 6e 67 20 75 70 20 | 61 6e 64 20 63 6f 76 65 |ping up |and cove|
|000042e0| 72 69 6e 67 20 74 68 65 | 69 72 20 66 61 63 65 73 |ring the|ir faces|
|000042f0| 2e 0d 20 0d 0d 51 3a 20 | 48 6f 77 20 63 61 6e 20 |.. ..Q: |How can |
|00004300| 79 6f 75 20 74 65 6c 6c | 20 74 68 65 20 64 69 66 |you tell| the dif|
|00004310| 66 65 72 65 6e 63 65 20 | 62 65 74 77 65 65 6e 20 |ference |between |
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|00004550| 22 20 48 69 70 70 6f 63 | 72 61 74 65 73 20 72 61 |" Hippoc|rates ra|
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|00005130| 6e 2e 0d 49 20 75 73 65 | 64 20 24 32 30 2c 30 30 |n..I use|d $20,00|
|00005140| 30 20 6f 66 20 74 68 65 | 20 6d 6f 6e 65 79 20 74 |0 of the| money t|
|00005150| 6f 20 62 75 79 20 74 68 | 65 20 6d 61 63 68 69 6e |o buy th|e machin|
|00005160| 65 20 73 6f 20 74 68 61 | 74 20 49 20 6d 69 67 68 |e so tha|t I migh|
|00005170| 74 20 62 65 0d 61 62 6c | 65 20 74 6f 20 73 61 76 |t be.abl|e to sav|
|00005180| 65 20 61 6e 6f 74 68 65 | 72 20 70 61 74 69 65 6e |e anothe|r patien|
|00005190| 74 2e 20 20 49 20 6b 6e | 6f 77 20 74 68 61 74 20 |t.  I kn|ow that |
|000051a0| 53 6d 69 74 68 20 77 6f | 75 6c 64 20 68 61 76 65 |Smith wo|uld have|
|000051b0| 20 77 61 6e 74 65 64 0d | 6d 65 20 74 6f 20 64 6f | wanted.|me to do|
|000051c0| 20 74 68 61 74 2e 22 20 | 20 54 68 65 20 6c 61 77 | that." | The law|
|000051d0| 79 65 72 20 74 68 65 6e | 20 73 61 69 64 2c 20 22 |yer then| said, "|
|000051e0| 49 27 6d 20 61 73 68 61 | 6d 65 64 20 6f 66 20 62 |I'm asha|med of b|
|000051f0| 6f 74 68 20 6f 66 20 79 | 6f 75 2e 20 0d 57 68 65 |oth of y|ou. .Whe|
|00005200| 6e 20 49 20 70 75 74 20 | 6d 79 20 65 6e 76 65 6c |n I put |my envel|
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|00005220| 66 66 69 6e 2c 20 69 74 | 20 68 65 6c 64 20 6d 79 |ffin, it| held my|
|00005230| 20 70 65 72 73 6f 6e 61 | 6c 20 63 68 65 63 6b 0d | persona|l check.|
|00005240| 66 6f 72 20 74 68 65 20 | 66 75 6c 6c 20 24 33 30 |for the |full $30|
|00005250| 2c 30 30 30 2e 22 0d 0d | 0d 54 68 65 20 4e 61 74 |,000."..|.The Nat|
|00005260| 69 6f 6e 61 6c 20 49 6e | 73 74 69 74 75 74 65 73 |ional In|stitutes|
|00005270| 20 6f 66 20 48 65 61 6c | 74 68 20 68 61 76 65 20 | of Heal|th have |
|00005280| 61 6e 6e 6f 75 6e 63 65 | 64 20 74 68 61 74 20 74 |announce|d that t|
|00005290| 68 65 79 20 77 69 6c 6c | 20 6e 6f 0d 6c 6f 6e 67 |hey will| no.long|
|000052a0| 65 72 20 62 65 20 75 73 | 69 6e 67 20 72 61 74 73 |er be us|ing rats|
|000052b0| 20 66 6f 72 20 6d 65 64 | 69 63 61 6c 20 65 78 70 | for med|ical exp|
|000052c0| 65 72 69 6d 65 6e 74 61 | 74 69 6f 6e 2e 20 20 49 |erimenta|tion.  I|
|000052d0| 6e 20 74 68 65 69 72 20 | 70 6c 61 63 65 2c 0d 74 |n their |place,.t|
|000052e0| 68 65 79 20 77 69 6c 6c | 20 75 73 65 20 61 74 74 |hey will| use att|
|000052f0| 6f 72 6e 65 79 73 2e 20 | 20 54 68 65 79 20 68 61 |orneys. | They ha|
|00005300| 76 65 20 67 69 76 65 6e | 20 74 68 72 65 65 20 72 |ve given| three r|
|00005310| 65 61 73 6f 6e 73 20 66 | 6f 72 20 74 68 69 73 0d |easons f|or this.|
|00005320| 64 65 63 69 73 69 6f 6e | 3a 0d 31 2e 20 54 68 65 |decision|:.1. The|
|00005330| 72 65 20 61 72 65 20 6e | 6f 77 20 6d 6f 72 65 20 |re are n|ow more |
|00005340| 61 74 74 6f 72 6e 65 79 | 73 20 74 68 61 6e 20 74 |attorney|s than t|
|00005350| 68 65 72 65 20 61 72 65 | 20 72 61 74 73 2e 20 20 |here are| rats.  |
|00005360| 0d 32 2e 20 54 68 65 20 | 6d 65 64 69 63 61 6c 20 |.2. The |medical |
|00005370| 72 65 73 65 61 72 63 68 | 65 72 73 20 64 6f 6e 27 |research|ers don'|
|00005380| 74 20 62 65 63 6f 6d 65 | 20 61 73 20 65 6d 6f 74 |t become| as emot|
|00005390| 69 6f 6e 61 6c 6c 79 20 | 61 74 74 61 63 68 65 64 |ionally |attached|
|000053a0| 0d 20 20 20 74 6f 20 74 | 68 65 20 61 74 74 6f 72 |.   to t|he attor|
|000053b0| 6e 65 79 73 20 61 73 20 | 74 68 65 79 20 64 69 64 |neys as |they did|
|000053c0| 20 74 6f 20 74 68 65 20 | 72 61 74 73 2e 0d 33 2e | to the |rats..3.|
|000053d0| 20 4e 6f 20 6d 61 74 74 | 65 72 20 68 6f 77 20 68 | No matt|er how h|
|000053e0| 61 72 64 20 79 6f 75 20 | 74 72 79 2c 20 74 68 65 |ard you |try, the|
|000053f0| 72 65 20 61 72 65 20 73 | 6f 6d 65 20 74 68 69 6e |re are s|ome thin|
|00005400| 67 73 20 74 68 61 74 20 | 72 61 74 73 0d 20 20 20 |gs that |rats.   |
|00005410| 77 6f 6e 27 74 20 64 6f | 2e 20 20 0d 0d 0d 51 3a |won't do|.  ...Q:|
|00005420| 20 20 57 68 61 74 20 64 | 6f 20 79 6f 75 20 67 65 |  What d|o you ge|
|00005430| 74 20 69 66 20 79 6f 75 | 20 73 65 6e 64 20 74 68 |t if you| send th|
|00005440| 65 20 47 6f 64 66 61 74 | 68 65 72 20 74 6f 20 6c |e Godfat|her to l|
|00005450| 61 77 20 73 63 68 6f 6f | 6c 3f 0d 41 3a 20 20 41 |aw schoo|l?.A:  A|
|00005460| 6e 20 6f 66 66 65 72 20 | 79 6f 75 20 63 61 6e 27 |n offer |you can'|
|00005470| 74 20 75 6e 64 65 72 73 | 74 61 6e 64 2e 20 20 0d |t unders|tand.  .|
|00005480| 0d 0d 51 3a 20 20 57 68 | 61 74 20 64 6f 20 79 6f |..Q:  Wh|at do yo|
|00005490| 75 20 67 65 74 20 69 66 | 20 79 6f 75 20 73 65 6e |u get if| you sen|
|000054a0| 64 20 61 20 70 72 6f 73 | 74 69 74 75 74 65 20 74 |d a pros|titute t|
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|000054c0| 20 20 41 20 66 2a 2a 2a | 69 6e 67 20 6b 6e 6f 77 |  A f***|ing know|
|000054d0| 2d 69 74 2d 61 6c 6c 2e | 20 0d 0d 20 0d 51 3a 20 |-it-all.| .. .Q: |
|000054e0| 20 44 6f 20 79 6f 75 20 | 6b 6e 6f 77 20 77 68 79 | Do you |know why|
|000054f0| 20 62 65 69 6e 67 20 61 | 20 6c 61 77 79 65 72 20 | being a| lawyer |
|00005500| 69 73 20 74 68 65 20 6f | 70 70 6f 73 69 74 65 20 |is the o|pposite |
|00005510| 6f 66 20 68 61 76 69 6e | 67 20 73 65 78 3f 0d 41 |of havin|g sex?.A|
|00005520| 3a 20 20 42 65 63 61 75 | 73 65 20 69 74 27 73 20 |:  Becau|se it's |
|00005530| 61 6c 6c 20 62 61 64 20 | 61 6e 64 20 73 6f 6d 65 |all bad |and some|
|00005540| 20 69 73 20 77 6f 72 73 | 65 2e 20 0d 0d 0d 51 3a | is wors|e. ...Q:|
|00005550| 20 20 57 68 61 74 20 64 | 6f 20 79 6f 75 20 68 61 |  What d|o you ha|
|00005560| 76 65 20 77 68 65 6e 20 | 79 6f 75 20 62 75 72 79 |ve when |you bury|
|00005570| 20 73 69 78 20 6c 61 77 | 79 65 72 73 20 75 70 20 | six law|yers up |
|00005580| 74 6f 20 74 68 65 69 72 | 20 6e 65 63 6b 73 0d 20 |to their| necks. |
|00005590| 20 20 20 69 6e 20 73 61 | 6e 64 3f 0d 41 3a 20 20 |   in sa|nd?.A:  |
|000055a0| 4e 6f 74 20 65 6e 6f 75 | 67 68 20 73 61 6e 64 2e |Not enou|gh sand.|
|000055b0| 0d 0d 0d 51 3a 20 20 57 | 68 61 74 27 73 20 62 6c |...Q:  W|hat's bl|
|000055c0| 61 63 6b 20 61 6e 64 20 | 62 72 6f 77 6e 20 61 6e |ack and |brown an|
|000055d0| 64 20 6c 6f 6f 6b 73 20 | 67 6f 6f 64 20 6f 6e 20 |d looks |good on |
|000055e0| 61 20 6c 61 77 79 65 72 | 3f 0d 41 3a 20 20 41 20 |a lawyer|?.A:  A |
|000055f0| 64 6f 62 65 72 6d 61 6e | 20 70 69 6e 73 63 68 65 |doberman| pinsche|
|00005600| 72 2e 20 0d 0d 0d 57 68 | 65 6e 20 61 20 70 65 72 |r. ...Wh|en a per|
|00005610| 73 6f 6e 20 61 73 73 69 | 73 74 73 20 61 20 63 72 |son assi|sts a cr|
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|00005630| 6e 67 20 74 68 65 20 6c | 61 77 20 62 65 66 6f 72 |ng the l|aw befor|
|00005640| 65 20 74 68 65 0d 63 72 | 69 6d 69 6e 61 6c 20 67 |e the.cr|iminal g|
|00005650| 65 74 73 20 61 72 72 65 | 73 74 65 64 2c 20 77 65 |ets arre|sted, we|
|00005660| 20 63 61 6c 6c 20 68 69 | 6d 20 61 6e 20 61 63 63 | call hi|m an acc|
|00005670| 6f 6d 70 6c 69 63 65 2e | 20 20 57 68 65 6e 20 61 |omplice.|  When a|
|00005680| 20 70 65 72 73 6f 6e 0d | 61 73 73 69 73 74 73 20 | person.|assists |
|00005690| 61 20 63 72 69 6d 69 6e | 61 6c 20 69 6e 20 62 72 |a crimin|al in br|
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|000056b0| 66 74 65 72 20 74 68 65 | 20 63 72 69 6d 69 6e 61 |fter the| crimina|
|000056c0| 6c 20 67 65 74 73 0d 61 | 72 72 65 73 74 65 64 2c |l gets.a|rrested,|
|000056d0| 20 77 65 20 63 61 6c 6c | 20 68 69 6d 20 61 20 64 | we call| him a d|
|000056e0| 65 66 65 6e 73 65 20 61 | 74 74 6f 72 6e 65 79 2e |efense a|ttorney.|
|000056f0| 20 20 0d 0d 0d 41 20 73 | 6e 61 6b 65 20 61 6e 64 |  ...A s|nake and|
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|000057a0| 61 72 67 75 65 20 77 69 | 74 68 20 6f 6e 65 20 61 |argue wi|th one a|
|000057b0| 6e 6f 74 68 65 72 20 61 | 73 20 74 6f 20 77 68 6f |nother a|s to who|
|000057c0| 0d 77 61 73 20 61 74 20 | 66 61 75 6c 74 20 66 6f |.was at |fault fo|
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|00005820| 68 75 73 20 73 68 6f 75 | 6c 64 20 62 65 20 67 69 |hus shou|ld be gi|
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|00005840| 65 65 77 61 79 2c 0d 74 | 68 65 20 72 61 62 62 69 |eeway,.t|he rabbi|
|00005850| 74 20 73 61 69 64 20 74 | 68 61 74 20 68 65 2c 20 |t said t|hat he, |
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|000059d0| 64 65 63 6c 61 72 65 64 | 20 74 68 61 74 20 68 65 |declared| that he|
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|00005c20| 6d 69 6e 75 74 65 73 2c | 0d 68 65 20 61 73 73 65 |minutes,|.he asse|
|00005c30| 72 74 65 64 2c 20 22 57 | 65 6c 6c 2c 20 79 6f 75 |rted, "W|ell, you|
|00005c40| 27 72 65 20 73 63 61 6c | 79 2c 20 79 6f 75 27 72 |'re scal|y, you'r|
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|00005cc0| 68 69 6e 6b 20 79 6f 75 | 27 72 65 20 61 20 6c 61 |hink you|'re a la|
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|00005d60| 2e 20 20 54 68 65 69 72 | 20 63 61 72 20 62 72 6f |.  Their| car bro|
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|00005e90| 74 68 65 20 70 6f 6c 69 | 63 65 20 63 68 69 65 66 |the poli|ce chief|
|00005ea0| 20 61 67 72 65 65 64 20 | 74 6f 0d 74 61 6b 65 20 | agreed |to.take |
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|00006340| 0d 0d 0d 41 6e 20 61 74 | 74 6f 72 6e 65 79 20 77 |...An at|torney w|
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|000063b0| 79 65 72 2c 20 22 49 20 | 68 61 76 65 20 61 0d 70 |yer, "I |have a.p|
|000063c0| 72 6f 70 6f 73 69 74 69 | 6f 6e 20 66 6f 72 20 79 |ropositi|on for y|
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|000063e0| 20 65 76 65 72 79 20 63 | 61 73 65 20 79 6f 75 20 | every c|ase you |
|000063f0| 74 72 79 2c 20 66 6f 72 | 20 74 68 65 20 72 65 73 |try, for| the res|
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