Parenting - Prenatal to preschool/Parenting_PrenatalToPreschool.bin/dp/0023/00232.txt

Text File | 1993-06-22 | 29KB | 486 lines

$Unique_ID{PAR00232}
$Pretitle{}
$Title{2 1/2 Years to 5 Years:  Selecting Toys and Equipment}
$Subtitle{}
$Author{
Editors of Consumer Guide
Mendelson, Robert A
Mendelson, Lottie M
Meyerhoff, Michael K
Ames, Louise Bates}
$Subject{2 1/2 Years to 5 Years Toys Equipment playthings outdoor gym sandbox
wading pool pools car trips trip real sports toy gun creative artistic art
supplies nontoxic mouth puppet puppets pop-up books book puzzles machines
marble run mousetrap Etch-A-Sketch spin-art blocks imagination play sets
camera cameras record player players real  pictures records board games
dominoes cards storage storing bed bunk beds MONEY-SAVING Buying TIPS SEXISM
gender peer peers preschooler preschoolers}
$Log{
Your preschooler is old enough to have preferences regarding playthings*0050201.tif
Preschoolers love to play with blocks, and may require a variety of shapes*0050301.tif
There are no "typical" patterns for puzzle play*0051001.tif
Your preschooler won't mind doing the same puzzle over and over again*0051101.tif
Adding to the number of blocks may be the only "upgrading" needed*0051201.tif
There is a limitless number of art supplies to keep preschoolers busy*0051301.tif
An outdoor gym set is appropriate and appealing to children above age two*0052901.tif
Selecting playthings is a collaborative effort during the preschool years*0057101.tif
Let your preschooler stick with her own choices on what toys she enjoys*0053501.tif
With large blocks, "upgrading" involves adding to the number of pieces*0053601.tif}

The New Parents' Question & Answer Book


2 1/2 Years to 5 Years:  Selecting Toys and Equipment


     Isn't my preschooler old enough at this point to select his own
playthings?

     Your preschooler certainly is now old enough to have distinct preferences
regarding playthings and to communicate those preferences to you clearly and
effectively.  Unlike an infant or toddler, he is likely to see something at a
friend's house or on television and say "I want one of those."  He is even
likely to be more than willing to help prepare a list for his birthday or for
holidays.  However, his powers of perception and communication are still far
greater than his capacities for sound judgment and restraint.  He may know
what he wants, but he may not always know what is best for him or what fits
into the family finances.  Therefore, while choosing toys for your child is no
longer a task you must do by yourself, it also is not yet a task that your
preschooler can be trusted to do by himself.  For the next few years, this
will be a "collaborative" effort involving your child making requests and you
exercising a fair measure of guidance and control.


     Is a large outdoor gym set a good investment for my preschooler at this
point?

     This depends upon the state of your family finances.  An item of this
sort surely would be appropriate and appealing at this point, but it certainly
should not be considered a necessity--especially if your preschooler has
access to good equipment at the local park or at his nursery school.  If you
do decide to invest in an outdoor gym set, make sure it is safe and sturdy.
If possible, obtain one that offers a variety of activities--swinging, ladder
climbing, tunnel crawling, and see-sawing.  Durability also is a
consideration, as you will want a relatively expensive item such as this to
last several years.  The models made of high-quality wood are generally more
costly than their metal counterparts, but they don't rust and generally tend
to hold up better over the long haul.


     Won't my preschooler now be bored with a simple sandbox or wading pool?

     Probably not.  Although these pieces of equipment will remain basically
the same, your preschooler's interest and abilities will change dramatically
over the course of this period.  Most noticeably, his play will now start to
include peers to a great extent, and this will add a whole new dimension to
sand and water activities.  Also, as his imagination becomes more active, he
probably will be able to keep himself entertained for long periods of time
taking jungle-river journeys, building elaborate castles, etc.  Consequently,
it is not likely that you will have to replace these items at this point.  You
may, however, want to consider adding new accessories on occasion to help
facilitate your preschooler's growing inclination to play with his friends and
his fantasies.


     What can I do to keep my preschooler entertained during long trips in the
car?

     There are a number of basic items that are especially suitable for these
circumstances.  Small snap-together blocks are particularly appropriate for
car trips in that they allow your preschooler to build rather elaborate
structures yet they will hold their place and shape going over bumps and
around turns.  Crayons and paper will provide long periods of enjoyment.  You
might want to consider a coloring book as well, in case your preschooler's
fatigue begins to interfere with his free-form creativity after a while.  Many
coloring books come with a section containing simple connect-the-dots puzzles,
which your preschooler probably will find quite appealing, especially toward
the end of this period.  Keep in mind, however, that toys are likely to be
your preschooler's secondary source of entertainment.  Now that his mental and
communication capacities are so advanced, his primary interest probably will
be in talking to you about the trip itself and/or in playing games like "find
an out-of-state license plate" or "count the yellow cars."


     My preschooler is a real little athlete, and I don't think he'll be
satisfied with sponge and waffle bats and balls for long.  When can I let him
use real sports equipment?

     Keep in mind that the greatest motivator for your preschooler will be
success.  Therefore, it is important that you keep his play equipment well
matched not only to his interests, but to his abilities as well.  If your
preschooler exhibits a desire to move beyond sponge and waffle bats and balls,
for example, the next step does not have to be "the real thing" necessarily.
If you provide him with a regulation bat and ball, it is very possible that he
will experience a fair amount of frustration, thereby placing his original
enthusiasm in jeopardy.  Fortunately, when it comes to sports equipment, there
are many intermediate alternatives available.  Therefore, it might be a good
idea to move your preschooler up gradually from "pretend" to "junior" and
eventually to "real" so that his enthusiasm has a good chance to grow with his
abilities.  As soon as you feel your preschooler is ready to handle them,
there's no harm in introducing him to various pieces of real sports
equipment--as long as you introduce him to the rules of safety that go along
with them beforehand.  For instance, before you allow your preschooler to use
a real bat, see to it that he has learned to make sure no one is standing
nearby when he swings it.  If you allow him to use a hard ball, see to it that
he has learned to wear a batting helmet whenever he stands at the plate.  By
the way, with any play involving balls, it is important to constantly remind
your preschooler not to chase a ball into the street or attempt to recover it
from a hazardous area.  Let him know that playing "real" sports has its
rewards, but it also comes with responsibilities.


     Philosophically, I don't object to my preschooler playing with a toy gun,
but I've heard that they present a lot of safety problems.  Is this true?

     It certainly is if the toy gun shoots a projectile of any sort.  Many
such items fire rubber-tipped darts, which can be extremely dangerous if the
tips fall off or are pulled off.  Even with the tip secured, these darts can
cause serious damage if aimed at certain parts of the body, such as the eyes.
The same is true for guns that shoot seemingly safe objects such as
table-tennis balls.  In general, it is probably not a good idea to provide
your preschooler with a gun that shoots anything, except, perhaps, water.
Maybe late in this period you might consider introducing some more complex
items, but be sure to teach your preschooler that these are special toys with
special rules, and that he is never to aim them at anything other than
inanimate targets.


     My preschooler says he loves the elaborate battery-operated toys he sees
in the store.  Is the play value of these items worth the price?

     Probably not.  Although such items will thoroughly entrance your
preschooler for a short period of time, it is doubtful that they will be able
to sustain his interest for very long.  Many parents have given in to the
impassioned pleas of their preschooler to purchase one of these expensive
items, only to watch it collect dust after it is brought home.  Keep in mind
that the play value of any toy increases with the number of things that your
preschooler can do with it, not with the number of things it does all by
itself.  A battery-operated robot, for example, may do a lot of impressive
things, but once it has run through its repertoire, that's it.  On the other
hand, something as simple as a small rubber ball can be a baseball, a
basketball, and a bowling ball as well as a cannon ball and a wrecking ball.
What's more, in combination with other simple items, that small rubber ball
can be someone's head, a hood ornament for a car, a Christmas-tree ornament,
and a limitless number of other things.


     My preschooler is very creative.  What can I give him to bring out his
artistic talent?

     There is an almost limitless number of "art" supplies appropriate for
preschoolers, and your preschooler's use of these materials is likely to be
limitless as well.  Watercolor paints, finger paints, crayons or markers,
simple and safe scissors, paper, nontoxic glue, and modeling clay or play
dough all will be suitable and appealing to a certain extent.  It will be up
to you to determine where your preschooler's particular preferences lie in
this regard.  For example, some preschoolers are very visual in their creative
activities, and they appreciate a wide variety of paints and crayons.  Others
are very tactile, and they appreciate greater variety in the color and texture
of their clay.  Keep in mind that your preschooler's likes and dislikes may
not remain constant, so as you feed into one avenue of expression, don't
forget to make other avenues available as well from time to time.


     My preschooler plays with a wide variety of materials, especially
arts-and-crafts supplies.  Do I still have to be concerned about him putting
everything into his mouth?

     During this period, your preschooler will pretty much stop using his
mouth as an exploratory organ, and he will become increasingly less likely to
put anything and everything into his mouth.  However, from time to time, he
may absent-mindedly suck on the end of a paintbrush or a part of some other
toy.  In addition, like a lot of preschoolers, he may be curious about certain
foodlike substances, especially crayons and paste, and will want "to see what
they taste like."  Consequently, while his playthings no longer represent the
choking hazard they did during infancy and toddlerhood, your preschooler still
may be at risk when it comes to ingesting poisonous substances.  Therefore,
make sure whatever materials he is using are nontoxic, just in case they end
up in his mouth.


     After seeing a professional puppet show, my preschooler asked me to buy
him puppets.  Is it possible to make suitable ones instead?

     It certainly is.  Even by the end of this period, sophisticated puppets
like marionettes will be beyond the abilities of your preschooler.  Simple
hand puppets, however, will be appropriate and greatly appreciated.  You can
start out with something as easy as painting a face on an old mitten.  You
then might move on to an old glove with different faces painted on the tip of
each finger.  Eventually, you may consider taking a small paper bag, filling
it with rags or newspaper, painting a face on it, and then fastening it to an
ice-cream stick or small dowel rod.  Armed with a few such items, and having a
large cardboard carton or even just a table with a sheet over it for a drape,
your preschooler will have a sufficient cast and an adequate theater for his
own puppet-show productions.


     Will these new "pop-up" books be more appealing to my preschooler than
the standard picture and story books?

     They probably will have a certain amount of appeal as novelties, but in
the long run, it is doubtful that your preschooler will get a significant
degree of additional enjoyment from these items.  His imagination is pretty
powerful at this point, so seeing something presented in three dimensions
certainly isn't necessary and may actually be a distraction on occasion.  It
also should be noted that this feature generally adds to the cost of a book
and usually decreases the book's durability, resulting in a substantial
decrease in investment value.  Therefore, rather than relying on a gimmick to
capture your preschooler's attention, it is likely to be considerably more
sensible to simply make sure that you choose books on specific subjects that
hold a particular fascination for him.


     What level of complexity will my preschooler be able to handle with
regard to puzzles?

     Throughout this period, preschoolers vary a great deal with regard to
their desire to play with puzzles, their ability to concentrate on this type
of task, and their tolerance for frustration.  In other words, there are no
"typical" patterns for puzzle play, so it will be necessary for you to observe
your preschooler carefully and determine precisely what his needs and desires
are.  It is a good idea to start off this period with puzzles that contain
only about five pieces.  Once your preschooler has successfully mastered that
level, you can try introducing more complex puzzles gradually as his interests
dictate.  You probably should avoid purchasing more than one or two puzzles of
similar complexity, however; your preschooler won't mind doing the same puzzle
over and over again, and his abilities in this area may advance rapidly.  When
he is ready for a new one, it probably should contain at least two or three
pieces more than the previous puzzle.


     Are there any toys I can provide for my preschooler to encourage his
interest in how machines work?

     Fortunately, there are some toys that are very appropriate for this
purpose, and they are extremely appealing to most preschoolers.  Generically,
they are referred to as "marble run" or "mousetrap" toys.  They consist of
interlocking poles and ramps that can be put together to form an elaborate
track for rolling marbles.  The more sophisticated versions include levers,
wheels, and other such devices as well.  It may not be until the end of this
period that your preschooler will be able to assemble more than the simplest
version.  However, once he has mastered this sort of device, he is likely to
get many hours of enjoyment out of constructing a custom-made "machine" and
watching how it "works" as the marble proceeds along its path and triggers the
various mechanisms.  By the way, marbles can constitute a choking hazard, so
make sure your preschooler can be trusted not to put them in his mouth before
you leave him alone with a toy of this sort.


     Will my preschooler enjoy mechanical creative toys like an
"Etch-A-Sketch" or a spin-art machine?

     As he moves through this period, such toys will become increasingly
appropriate and appealing for your preschooler.  The important thing to
remember is that your preschooler will get the most out of such items only
when he is capable of using them without a lot of help from you.  It may not
be until the middle of this period that he becomes adept at manipulating the
knobs of an Etch-a-Sketch accurately, and it may not be until the very end of
the period that he can master a simple spin-art machine all by himself.  Prior
to these points, your preschooler may get several minutes of entertainment out
of watching you use such items, but it will be later on that he really gets
hours of enjoyment from being "creative" with them himself.


     My preschooler loves to play with blocks.  Should I be "upgrading" these
materials as he gets older?

     When it comes to large blocks, the only "upgrading" that may be necessary
will involve adding to the number of pieces available to your preschooler,
since his forts, roads, corrals, garages, and the like will probably become
larger.  Providing him with suitable alternative materials, such as shoe
boxes, plastic tubs, wrapped rolls of paper towels or toilet paper, and
toilet-paper tubes, also will be a good idea.  On the other hand, you may want
to consider "upgrading" both the number and the complexity of his small blocks
as he attempts to create more realistic structures.  When building a house for
his dolls or a garage for his cars, for example, your preschooler may now
require--or at least desire--a greater variety of shapes to work with.
However, it is important to remember that "upgrading" in this regard should
involve increasing rather than decreasing your preschooler's opportunities to
use his imaginative and creative skills.  In other words, adding pieces that
enable him to build a chimney is far preferable to adding a single piece that
already is a chimney.


     My preschooler has a very active imagination.  Will I go broke trying to
supply adequate materials for his "pretend" activities?

     The bulk of the raw materials that your preschooler will use in his
pretend activities consist of "experiences" rather than "things."  The depth
and detail of his role-play and fantasy games come from what he has been
exposed to previously, not from what is presently in front of him.  Therefore,
you will find that it is very easy and inexpensive to keep up with your
preschooler in this regard.  By supplying him with one simple red towel, you
may very well give him everything he needs to play Superman, bullfighter,
Betsy Ross, fashion model, Arab chieftain, and several other roles.  With one
simple toy truck, he may have everything he needs to take a trip to Grandma's
house, build a city, go on a hayride, and partake in any number of fantasies.
Of course, as he gets older, your preschooler may desire--and may even
require--more "realism" in certain items.  Still, you will be surprised at how
resourceful he can be and how satisfied he will be using primarily the
products of his own mind.


     Whenever I do something around the house, my preschooler wants to do it
too.  Should I let him use "real" things or restrict him to special "play"
sets?

     Through the course of this period, your preschooler probably will become
increasingly disenchanted with "play" sets.  There will be times when he will
be satisfied with them.  However, when his goal is to participate in some
activity with you, he will want to feel that he is really doing something.  Of
course, considerations of both safety and practicality enter into any decision
regarding how often you will be able to allow your preschooler to use "real"
equipment.  However, it is nice to know that it won't take much to satisfy
your preschooler at this point.  For instance, in setting the table, he
probably will be happy to do the napkins while you do the forks, knives, and
glassware.  In repairing the garage door, he probably will be content to rub a
piece of sandpaper back and forth while you do the drilling (be sure he is a
safe distance away and cannot reach any dangerous equipment).  And, when
taking a trip in the car, he probably will be thrilled to hold the map while
you do the driving.


     As soon as we return from the doctor's office, zoo, or supermarket, my
preschooler wants to set up the same thing at home.  Will he really be
satisfied with just a few pieces of relevant equipment?

     He certainly will.  Moreover, those pieces of relevant equipment do not
necessarily have to come from special sets.  For example, a turkey baster will
make a perfectly acceptable hypodermic needle, a laundry basket turned upside
down will serve very well as a cage, and an old calculator will be a more than
adequate cash register.  The only really "special" thing your preschooler may
require to a certain extent is you.  If you can take a little time to
participate in his role-play and fantasy games as a client, animal, customer,
colleague, or whatever, and especially if you provide suggestions and
elaborations along the way, your preschooler's activities will be that much
richer and more enjoyable for him--and probably just as fascinating and fun
for you.


     Lately, my preschooler has become frustrated with his toy camera and
record player, but I'm not ready to let him use mine.  How do I manage a
compromise?

     Fortunately, there now are a number of "starter" cameras and record
players on the market.  These items are simple to use, safe, durable, and take
"real" pictures or play "real" records.  Of course, the quality of their
performance is nowhere near what you expect from your own equipment, but the
price is considerably lower.  Since it is the fact that they are "real" that
is of primary importance to your preschooler, he probably won't mind the
below-par quality of the picture or sound.  Keep in mind, however, that these
junior versions won't satisfy your preschooler forever, especially if he
really gets "hooked" on photography, music, or whatever.  Therefore,
particularly toward the end of this period, as his interests and abilities
warrant, you might consider relaxing some of your strict prohibitions against
his using your equipment.  Give him a chance to at least "get the feel" of
using some more sophisticated items under your supervision.


     Is my preschooler still too young for board games?

     Board games require that a preschooler have a certain level of both
intellectual and social skills, so it may not be until the middle or end of
this period that your preschooler is really ready.  Keep in mind that he not
only will need the capacity to master the rules and moves involved, he also
will need the capacity to wait his turn and accept losing as well as winning.
The ability to lose graciously may be the last to kick in--some preschoolers
often try to change the rules or otherwise "cheat" or even quit playing rather
than acknowledge defeat.  In the beginning, it's best to stick with very
simple games that are based on shape recognition or color matching instead of
reading.  Once your preschooler is able to recognize basic numbers regularly,
you might consider introducing him to dominoes or even to a deck of
cards--many five olds can master and enjoy a game of "Go Fish" or "War."


     I keep all of my preschoolers toys in a large chest in his room, but he
sometimes has trouble finding and getting things out on his own.  Is there a
better storage system?

     You have several options available.  First, you might consider storing
your preschooler's toys in a few different areas around the house.  Since he
will not play with everything in the same place, there's no need for
everything to be in one location.  Having small storage areas strategically
located in various rooms will make his toys more accessible--and may enable
him to be more enthusiastic and effective at clean-up time.  In addition, it
is a good idea to store toys on shelves as opposed to inside large containers.
This eliminates your preschooler's need to struggle with a lot of items he
doesn't want in order to get the one he does want--a process which often
results in "dumping" the whole thing out.  Since your preschooler probably
won't have a lot of clothes that need to be hung at this point, you might
consider building a few extra shelves into his closet to accommodate his toy
needs.  To the extent that containers are necessary, small ones--such as milk
crates--are ideal.  Finally, as your preschooler's toys become more complex
and contain many pieces, it helps to hang a shoe bag so the pouches can be
used to organize and hold things that otherwise would be difficult to keep
track of and retrieve.


     I'm buying a bed for my preschooler, and I thought a bunk bed would be
fun and sensible in the long run.  Are they safe?

     If you're planning on having more than one child, or even if you expect
your preschooler to have friends sleep over regularly, a bunk bed may be a
good idea in that it will save valuable floor space.  Besides, most children
like bunk beds.  Of course, your preschooler's first bed should be easy for
him to climb into and out of.  If you confine him to the bottom at first, a
bunk bed need not be an immediate problem in this regard.  Unfortunately, bunk
beds are inherently hazardous to a certain extent, so if you do purchase one,
make sure that the top portion has a sturdy safety rail.  Make sure your
preschooler understands that the top bed is for sleeping and not for playing
upon.  If possible and practical, you might consider getting a bunk bed with a
detachable ladder rather than a built-in one.  That way, you can remove it
during play time and install it only when it's time for sleep.


MONEY-SAVING TIPS

     Buying toys for preschoolers, although easier than doing so for infants
and toddlers, is still a hit-or-miss proposition to a certain extent.  Even
with your preschooler communicating his preferences and you providing sound
judgment and appropriate guidance, it is very possible that a given item
simply will not turn out to be the long-term success that everyone expected it
to be.  Of course, your percentage of "hits" will be getting better as your
child gets older.  Unfortunately, the cost of your "misses" will be increasing
as well.  Toy libraries, therefore, are still a good resource, but many are
not willing to handle the considerably more expensive and complex items that
preschoolers desire and require.  As an alternative, you might consider
becoming a regular visitor--and perhaps vendor--at garage sales, flea markets,
etc.  Because the interests and abilities of preschoolers are so varied, one
child's "too boring" or "too frustrating" toy may be another child's
"favorite" plaything.  Rather than having a lot of families possessing a lot
of toys that are getting very little or no play time, these outlets allow the
"misses" to be put back into circulation.  There, they may very well become
"hits" that cost relatively little money and enable the original purchaser to
recoup at least some of the original investment.  If you do take this strongly
recommended route, just remember to be extra careful about checking for safety
considerations.  Federal regulations do not apply to resales.  If an item has
been repaired or repainted, there is no guarantee that it will be as durable
or that the paint used was nontoxic, so investigate and choose wisely.


SEXISM IN TOYLAND

     As noted earlier, gender differences in play preferences tend to start
showing up during toddlerhood.  Now, during the preschool period, they are
likely to become rather pronounced.  To a certain extent, your reactions to
your preschooler's choices will remain a primary factor in this regard.
However, at this point, you should be aware that your preschooler will be
subject to a number of additional influences.  Toy manufacturers often are lax
when it comes to depicting both boys and girls on boxes containing certain
toys, and their advertising agents sometimes are even more lax about this when
it comes to making commercials.  Consequently, even though your preschooler
may be "turned on" by a particular type of toy, he may be "turned off" to it
when he sees only children of the opposite sex playing with it on the box or
commercial.  Furthermore, while you may be very careful about your own remarks
about proper sex roles, your preschooler may receive negative feedback about
his toy selections from his peers.  His need to "conform to the group" won't
be nearly as strong as it will be during adolescence, but "boyness" and
"girlness" are among the very few ways in which young children can establish
identity easily.  Therefore, being "proper" in his choice of playthings,
according to the standards set by his playmates, may be quite important to
your preschooler.  In any event, it probably is wise to avoid making a fuss
over the whole thing at this time.  In another year or two, your child will
have had more experience and will be less hung up on some of the issues
involved.  You, in turn, will have better success in convincing him to stick
with his own choices regardless of what he sees or hears from outside sources.