An AOL User's Tale

I can't say too much. I'm afraid if I do, they will somehow know my location. But it doesn't matter... They will anyway.

This is a true story. I am only telling you this for the further benefit of other hackers. You can believe this or not, but I urge you not to follow in my shoes. They will get you, like they almost got me on several occasions. Who am I talking about? The government, of course.

My story begins in, of all places, my basement. I was on AOL trading warez in my normal AOL warez channels, and somebody had joined the channel and started talking about his k-rad page, the Elite AOL User Tribune. I decided to go there with my AOL browzer. His page was the elite-est ever! It had everything!! Anyway, I used some of his cool tips to start my way into the hacking biz. I even talked to the maker of the page personally!!! He taught me how to spoof my IP and hack into NASA! But that's where I started to get into trouble.

While I was in the NASA private WWW interface, I saw a little symbol of PI in the corner! Recalling the movie "The Net" (My favorite movie, which also taught me about hacking) I moved the cursor over to the PI symbol and clicked on it. All of a sudden, I was immediately linked to a page talking about Bob Dole's heart transplants! Apparently, he was being kept alive because of the new hearts he received every week! But that's not the worst of it. If Bob Dole was elected president, the FBI was planning to assasinate him so that they wouldn't have to pay for his hearts!

So THIS is why Bob Dole lives on. He was actually 138 years old!

But that wasn't my only concern... I had to stop the FBI from trying to kill Bob Dole! After all, I was voting for him.

So the next morning, I turned on my moniter (No need to log off of AOL. Just wastes time!) and joined the HAKK channel. I then summoned all of my hacker buddies from my hacker group and filled them in on what was going on. They were all shocked, and a few of them didn't believe me. But I told them the secret to finding it, and they saw for themselves. Then somebody who we didn't recognize came into HAKK! This was an unusual event, because our channel was SECRET. (+S, for those of you who are not familiar with that super-special elite command.) He called himself "BIGBROTHER" and we immediately recognized this as an elite hacker nickname, and we asked him to join us! BigBrother was an awfully quiet guy, but we liked him anyway. Once in a while, he would say things like "FATAL ERROR IN A.I. COMMAND ROUTINE 37 - LINE 12" and then he would be gone for a while. But he always came back and apoligized.

After a while, we were ready. We got all of our AOL browserz ready to flood, and we were set up to raid the FBI FTP site, deleting as many files as we could. Before we began, I went to check on my AOL browserz one last time.. That was my mistake.

When I switched back to the chat window, I was shocked, as myself and BigBrother were the only ones left in channel HAKK! BigBrother was rambling on about hacking and federal offences, or something like that, as I readied my browserz. I wasn't about to let BigBrother take me down. He was obviously another very smart hacker from our enemy hacking gang, "SeaMoss"! So I typed his IP address in all of my AOL browserz and started hitting the RELOAD button as fast as I could. But BigBrother was faster!

He was flooding me, and lagging me down more and more, as I attempted to flood him back, using my AOL browserz. But I wasn't getting anywhere. At that time it dawned on me. I could use TAB to cursor over to the RELOAD button, and hold down the ENTER key. After I started doing that, the battle definately started to turn. My computer's speed started to recover, and BigBrother began slowly, but surely, losing his connection to AOL. This bought me enough time to activate my FLEE program, so I could escape without BigBrother tracing me. I made it just in the nick of time. I fled, and all BigBrother got when he tried to trace me was some random email addresses. I made it!

BigBrother was out of sight. And later on, it ended up that Bob Dole didn't become elected president anyway. I later came in contact with one of my buddies on AOL, But he tried to turn me in. "It's for the best" He said. "Come with me and you won't feel any more pain..." But I knew I couldn't.. I had no choice. I had to leave AOL. It was tough, but if I didn't want to get caught, it was what I had to do. So I said goodbye. Goodbye to the wonderfully friendly, blissfully ignorant world that is AOL.

Nowadays, I exist only on the internet. I won't tell anyone what my nick is, but if you keep looking, and keep hoping, one day you'll find me. Maybe we can talk sometime, about the internet and about hacking. And until then... Good luck, my friends.

ELiTE AoL UsEr TRiBuNe
http://www.virii.org/users/commando/story1.html http://www.7thsphere.com/elite/story1.html