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ELiTE AoL USeR TRiBuNe!!!!

How to Crash a Gibson

By CrashOVERRIDE

Man I am sooo elite! Just
moments ago, I crashed a
Gibbson computer with my
AOL account! It was K-RAD.
Here are my secrets on how
to enter shuch neat-o thangs:

1. Get a K-RAD laptop computer
with a 28.8bps modem (You know
the ones that can do 60 frames
per second full screen video
and 16bit audio in realtime?)
and one wiht a RISC pentium
processor from Intel!!! Make
sure it can run MAC OS
too!!!!!!!11111111

2. Log into your AOL account
and enter the keyword:
NOGIBBSONHERE.

Those idots thought they were
cool to hide this AOL keyword.
The fact is, over 100 hackers
who use AOL worked for 30 days
to find it. In your face,
Gibbson!!!!!
The Gibson computer is a k-rad
big computer which even lets
the user fly through and look
at the
microchips!!!!!!!!!!!111111
I like going into the garbage
files and getting passwords
like GOD, SECRET, and SEX.
Those system admins think they are sooo high up you know.
And remember, have fun!!!!!1

How to Make Free Payphone Calls

By ACiDBuRN

You want to make free phone
calls, huh? Well, I will let
you in on a little secret
someone on alt.2600 told me:
You can disable the payphone's
paying circuitryw ith static
electricity!

Here's what you do:

1. Find a large SIMM memory
chip which is more then 32 megs,
usually dad has those (memory
chips not only store data, but
they store whatever they come
in contact with, in this case,
static electricity. Think of
it as a giant battery)

2. Grab one of grandma's wool
socks, and insert the SIMM.

3. Rub the wool sock on the floor
and be sure that the SIMM is
properly charged by the static
electricity. You may also want
to plug it into a wall outlit,
just to be sure it is filled.

4. Go to the payphone and hold
it by the coin slot. You will
notice that it will not ask for
money. If it does, you will need
to repeat steps 2 and 3.

5. AFter you are finished, be sure
to erase he static charge by
immeriseing the SIMM into cold
water. Hold for 30 minutes to
be sure that the battery is
discharged for computer use.

You may also notice that placed
on hte chip is a notice saying
DO NOT EXPOSE TO STATIC OR WATER.
This is by far a fat lie posted
by the telephone companies to
stop such things like this.
Well, we are ELiTE!!! So there,
phone companies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

THE GOVERNMENT SHALL FALL!
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ELiTE AoL UsEr TRiBuNe