1.____ Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk."

2.____ The school principal has your number on speed-dial.

3.____ The cat is on Valium.

4.____ People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.

5.____ You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.

6.____ The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.

7.____ No one has _time_ to wait for microwave TV dinners.

8.____ "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.

9.____ You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.

10.____ Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.

Scoring:

30 - a perfect score. Welcome to the neighborhood!
20-29 - You are doing reasonably well, but still have too little going on in your life. Crank it up.
10-19 - You have mastered some of the aspects of the stress-filled life, but still have a long way to go. Have you considered a parallel career path?
0-9 - Enjoying all that extra time? What do you do anyway?