On Paradox and Return Policies:
There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane." If you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back and demand a refund?

On Higher Education:
College is a fountain of knowledge... and the students are there to drink.

On Problem Solving:
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. -- Abraham Maslow

On Materialism:
He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.

On Infinity:
If you had everything, where would you keep it?

On Economics:
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

On Publishing Or Perishing:
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. -- English Professor, Ohio University

On Revisionist History:
What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?

On Dating:
When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.

On Extinction:
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

On Literature:
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. -- Dorothy Parker

On Humility:
To err is human, to moo bovine.

On Prophecy:
The meek shall inherit the earth... they are too weak to refuse.

On World Politics:
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

And Finally, On Drugs and Development:
There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.