Sent in by Kim
I was at a Corel Roadshow and they put a lot of little jokes in with the sales patter. This was one of those so-bad-it's-good jokes, I thought.
"As you can see, you can edit in draft, formula, or WYSIWIG - 'What You See Is What You Get' - mode. By the way, I heard that in Atlanta it's also
called "wallzeewallg" mode. Is that right?"
Audience murmurs... what's this guy talking about?
"That's 'What Y'all See Is What Y'all Get'."
Sent in by R. Smith
An old gentelman and his wife wrre at a luncheon in his honor, celebrating 30
years with the company. His friends and co-workers got together and hired a
very good looking young lady to pop out of a large false cake and go up to
him and wish him good fortune. It came time for the cake to be rolled out.
the good looking young lady jumped out of the cake,as directed, but instead
of sticking to the original script, she ran over to this elderly gentelman
and said Im here to offer you SUPER SEX, the elderly gentelman paused and
thought for a moment and told the lady "If it is all the same to you I'll
have the SOUP."
Sent in by Frank
Irritate yankee's by offering them okra, grits or cornbread. The dummies don't know what good vittles are. Tell 'em this food will make them smart and
they'll believe it.
Sent in by Dusty Waldo
1) what do you call a Phillipino Contorunist??? - A Manilla Folder
2)Bumper Sticker/T shirt Slogan - I am not crazy - I have a Serious Psycolocal Problem
Sent in by Nathan
What has three teeth and sixty feet?
The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.
Sent in by Ken
Annoy Yankees:
Every time they offer a suggestion to 'improve' life in the South, say, "You're not from
around here, are you?"
Sent in by Charlie Tapp
One phrase you won't hear a redneck say:
"Checkmate!"
Sent in by BARES1@aol.com
What is big and yellow and sleeps six?
A New Orleans Sewer and Water Board Truck!
Sent in by Frank
After hearing tales of woe's from his friends, one man would think about it for a moment and say, "well it could have been worse."
On hearing of a tragic incident the group declared, "I'll bet he can't say this could have been worse" so they told him that John had caught Joe in bed with his wife and he shot and killed both of them.
He ask,"when did this happen?"
They told him, "last night."
He pondered a moment and said, "well it could have been worse."
"How in the world could it have been worse?" they asked."We told you he shot and killed both of them."
Without hesitation he said, "you said it happened last night. If it had been night before last, it would have been ME!"
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