| Age | The male stages of life | The female stages of life |
|---|
17
25
35
48
66
|
DRINK
beer
beer
vodka
double vodka
Maalox
|
DRINK
Wine Coolers
White wine
Red wine
Dom Perignon
Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
|
17
25
35
48
66
|
SEDUCTION LINE
My parents are away for the weekend
My girlfriend is away for the weekend
My fiancee is away for the weekend
My wife is away for the weekend
My second wife is dead
|
EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
Need to wash my hair
Need to wash and condition my hair
Need to color my hair
Need to have Francois color my hair
Need to have Francois color my wig
|
17
25
35
48
66
|
FAVORITE SPORT
sex
sex
sex
sex
napping
|
FAVORITE SPORT
shopping
shopping
shopping
shopping
shopping
|
17
25
35
48
66
|
DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
"tongue"
"breakfast"
"She didn't set back my therapy."
"I didn't have to meet her kids."
"Got home alive."
|
A SUCCESSFUL DATE
"Burger King"
"Free meal"
"A diamond"
"A bigger diamond"
"Home Alone"
|
17
25
35
48
66
|
FAVORITE FANTASY
getting to third
airplane sex
menage a trois
taking the company public
Swiss maid/Nazi love slave
|
FAVORITE FANTASY
tall, dark and handsome
tall, dark and handsome w/money
tall, dark and handsome w/money and a brain
a man with hair
a man
|
17
25
35
48
66
|
HOUSE PET
roaches
stoned-out college roommate
Irish setter
children from his first marriage
Barbi
|
HOUSE PET
Muffy the cat
Unemployed boyfriend & Muffy
Irish setter & Muffy
Children from his first marriage & Muffy
Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muffy
|
17
25
35
48
66
|
IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED
25
35
48
66
17
|
IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED
17
25
35
48
66
|
17
25
35
48
66
|
IDEAL DATE
Stephen King feature at a drive-in
"Split the check & go back to my place."
"Just come over."
"Just come over and cook."
sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.
|
IDEAL DATE
He offers to pay
He pays
He cooks breakfast the next morning
He cooks breakfast for the kids
He can chew breakfast
|
