ParentTime Live! Transcript Genital Stimulation Baby Acne Toddler Bruises Diapering Distractions Glue-Eating Infant Naps Sleep Tactics Baby Cold Remedies Three-Year-Old Bully Screaming Baby Adjusting Baby to a New Time Zone The Right Bedtime Ready for Solids?		ParentTime Live! Event Transcript In this May 2 chat event, Dr. Bill and Martha Sears share their views on a variety of baby and child care topics. ParentTime Moderator: Welcome to ParentTime Live! Our guests today are Dr. Bill and Martha Sears, parents of eight and authors of The Baby Book and The Discipline Book. Bill and Martha are here to answer your parenting questions. Genital Stimulation Question: My 22-month-old daughter has been rubbing against — actually, humping — the armrests of chairs. We’ve also caught her on top of her dolls. What do I say or do? Dr. Bill & Martha Sears: It’s normal for toddlers to experiment with the parts of their body that give them pleasure. This developmental stage peaks between the ages of two and six. Discovering body parts and the pleasurable feelings that come from them does not mean that your child is “psychologically disturbed” or that there is anything wrong with her. In fact, your reaction to these behaviors is important modeling for your child. Be sure to convey that her body parts — and her interest in exploring them — are not dirty or bad. Find out what situations trigger your child’s self-stimulation — is she bored? tired? tense? — and do what you can to remove these triggers. “Substitute and distract” is the best method to get exploring little hands into activities that are more socially acceptable. Calmly entice her into an activity with you. Genital play can become more than just a passing curiosity when it becomes frequent and intense and the child becomes so preoccupied with self-stimulation that she withdraws from interaction with others. Sometimes medical complications — such as urinary tract infections — can occur if little girls traumatize their urinary opening. But in general, this is a normal and passing developmental phase.
		Baby Acne Question: My six-week-old daughter’s face has broken out and is very red — as well as dry and flaky. It’s gotten worse over the past two weeks. I’ve tried Moisturel lotion with no results. I was wondering whether it’s okay to use hydrocortisone, and, if so, which strength — 0.5% or 1%. Dr. Bill & Martha Sears: This is a case of baby acne, which peaks from four to six weeks of age and will often subside by itself if you do nothing. You may have to hold off taking baby pictures for a couple of weeks. Another possible cause of this rash is seborrheic dermatitis or an allergy to something in your baby’s diet (such as formula) which causes facial eczema; or it could be an allergy to something in your milk, if you are breastfeeding (dairy products, corn, eggs, soy). Increase the humidity in your baby’s sleeping environment (these types of rashes are worse when the humidity is low in the winter and spring). Wipe the rash with a cool washcloth several times a day, and use a mild emollient, such as Lansinoh or Aquaphor. Cut baby’s fingernails short to discourage scratching. Only use a 0.5% hydrocortisone ointment if your doctor recommends it.
		Toddler Bruises Question: My 18-month-old daughter has a purplish-black bruise on the upper tip of her ear. The bruise appeared about a week ago and began to fade, but then a similar bruise appeared on her other ear. My husband watches her during the day and I care for her in the evenings, so I know that no one has pinched her. Could she have fallen and done this to herself? Dr. Bill & Martha Sears: This is not a common location for the usual bruises from toddler falls and bumps. It’s possible she could have done this to herself, but unlikely. Suggest doing a total body “spot-check” to see if there are bruises in other unusual places. Normal toddler bruises are on the lower legs, arms, forehead, but not the ears or face. Best to have your pediatrician check out these spots.
		Diapering Distractions Question: Recently, our 19-month-old daughter has been having a hard time with the last diaper change of the day. When we try to change her before bedtime, she gets very upset. Any suggestions on how to handle this? Dr. Bill & Martha Sears: Make diaper-changing time special. Reserve special antics, such as a songs or comical gestures, that you use only for this time. Change your reluctant squirmer on the floor and dangle a special toy from your mouth. Bring this toy out only for diaper changes and introduce a novel toy periodically. Play games during diaper changing time. Walk your fingers up and down baby’s legs and abdomen while singing songs. Play “find-the-body-parts (“Where’s your belly button/nose/eyes?”). We’ve even used a strip of masking tape to engage busy hands during diaper changing times. Here is a bit of personal trivia: We estimate that we’ve changed over 50,000 diapers in our parenting careers. So naturally, we have had to come up with some creative ways to settle wiggly babies.
		Glue-Eating Question: I have a six-year-old adopted fetal alcohol effect (FAE) child who eats glue right from the bottle. She is a very tactile child with some behavioral issues as a result of her abuse and FAE. Should I be concerned about the glue eating? Dr. Bill & Martha Sears: Yes. First, be sure the glue is not toxic (most household glues are not). If it contains a strong aroma of a hydrocarbon, it is definitely toxic to the lungs and brain. Children can get hooked on glue sniffing, but if it’s harmless play glue (the white kind), which doesn’t have much of an aroma, it is unlikely to be seriously harmful. But you should definitely discourage this habit by removing the glue. A child with this condition needs constant supervision. The best you can do is to shower your child with love, attention, and provide a safe play environment to overcome the child’s difficult past. Also, talk to your doctor about possible nutritional deficiency. Write down the type and volume of each food your child eats for a week and have your doctor do a nutritional analysis. Some children who eat bizarre things (like dirt) do indeed have a nutritional deficiency of some mineral — possibly zinc.
		Infant Naps Question: Help! I can’t get my two-month-old baby to take naps during the day. She sleeps for 5 to 6 hours at night before waking for a feeding, but during the day she fights to stay awake. Doesn’t she need at least two naps a day at this stage? Dr. Bill & Martha Sears: Yes, a two-month-old baby does need at least two naps a day. But sleep is not a state you can force a baby into. The best you can do is to create conditions that allow sleep to overtake your baby. Pick two times of the day that you are most tired and lie down with your baby and nestle off to sleep together. Try to do this at the same times every day. Your baby will eventually get used to this nap ritual. You could also try “wearing down,” a custom that has worked for our reluctant nappers. During the two times of the day that you’re the most tired, wear your baby around the house or take a walk with baby in a baby sling. Even the most reluctant nappers will fall asleep in the sling. The rhythm of your walk and a lullaby will most likely induce naptime.
		Sleep Tactics Question: My nine-month-old son is used to being rocked or bottle-fed to sleep. Lately, though, he has been resisting these tactics since they are sleep-associated. What else can I do to get him to sleep? Dr. Bill & Martha Sears: Infants need to be parented to sleep, not just put to sleep. But some children need some nighttime conditioning to wind them down. Pick a nightly ritual that you enjoy. The one that has worked best for us is a 20-minute walk around the house with baby nestled in the sling. When baby begins to relax and show the “limp-limb” sign (arms dangle weightlessly, hands are completely open), transfer the sleeping baby from the sling onto a crib or bed. Sometimes a warm bath, followed by a walk in the sling, followed by rocking and lullaby singing will do the trick. Also try the teddybear snuggle: Put baby next to you in your bed and snuggle close together tummy-to-tummy. This attachment scene usually unwinds baby and prepares her to sleep. Sometimes we needed to do a “nighttime dance” to break down the resistance of our toddler to our usual nighttime ritual of rocking and nursing. The dancing and singing we did took her mind off the fact that we were trying to get her to go to sleep. She was able to relax and enjoy the movement, and would gradually nod off.
		Baby Cold Remedies Question: My one-year-old daughter was diagnosed with a bad cold, but the doctor refuses to give her medicine. I’m afraid that it’s already chronic and that pretty soon it will become asthma. Can you help? Dr. Bill & Martha Sears: Most colds are caused by a virus and do not need an antibiotic. A wise doctor will not prescribe an antibiotic if it is only a virus and not in your baby’s sinuses, ears, or chest — simply a nose cold. Here are some home remedies that will keep a cold from becoming a more serious infection that could require antibiotics: Hose your baby’s nose. Squirt a couple drops of saltwater nasal spray (available over-the-counter) and flush out your baby’s nose whenever it seems stuffy. Keeping the nose clear also prevent the cold from spreading to the ears. “Steam clean” your baby’s nasal and sinus passages. Take your infant into a warm shower with you or set her on your lap in front of a warm-mist vaporizer for 20 minutes. Double the amount of fluids she usually drinks. This lessens the thickening of the secretions that are a culture medium for more germs. Try a natural immune-building remedy, such as echinacea or goldenseal drops. You can mix it into juice for your baby. It’s important to recognize when a cold is progressing and needs antibiotics. Call your doctor if your child’s nasal discharge becomes progressively yellow, green and snotty; or if your baby gets progressively cranky, wakes up more frequently, and begins to run a fever. The above preventive measures are likely to keep a simple nose cold from moving down into the chest, where they can cause wheezing.
		Three-Year-Old Bully Question: My three-year-old daughter may be a bully. She grabs toys away from other children, and she hugs children — whether they want to be hugged or not. Is she overly aggressive, or just acting her age? Dr. Bill & Martha Sears: Three-year-olds try various social behaviors to see which ones get them the most audience reaction. Your daughter may have an assertive personality, and it’s up to you to channel her exuberance to work to her advantage. Part of discipline is giving your daughter the tools to succeed in life, and learning social graces at this young age is a valuable tool. Supervise her play. As soon as you feel she has crossed the line into aggressive behavior (the other children withdraw from her), intervene and show her a nicer way to relate: “Be gentle to your friend. Give her a bunny hug and not a bear hug.” With a little coaching from their caregivers, children can develop ways of interacting with their peers that are more socially acceptable.
		Screaming Baby Question: My eight-month-old girl takes great pleasure in screaming so loud that it scares me. Both my wife and I are relatively quiet — we never shout or play loud music. What’s going on here? Is our baby just discovering that precious voice? Should I invest in ear plugs? Dr. Bill & Martha Sears: Screaming is a normal developmental stage from six to nine months. At this age, babies begin to discover the volume of their voices and how their squeals affect their audience. This is a normal and passing developmental phase. When your daughter squeals, model back to her a whispering or quiet voice to teach her to mute her voice.
		Adjusting Baby to a New Time Zone Question: When my son is six months old, we will be traveling to visit his grandparents, who live in a different time zone. How can we adjust the baby to the time difference (or will he adjust himself)? Dr. Bill & Martha Sears: Your baby is likely to adjust to a time change better than you are. To a traveling baby, home is where the parents are. Try your best to continue your usual feeding routine while you are away. Take along a couple of familiar toys to pull out when the going gets rough. And expect to use a more parenting-to-bed ritual while traveling.
		The Right Bedtime Question: I have a five-month-old son. His usual bedtime is 10:00 to 11:00 p.m. Should I try to make his bedtime earlier? If so, how? Dr. Bill & Martha Sears: Any bedtime that works for your individual family is the right one for you. If your infant sleeps well during the rest of the night, you risk having an early riser if you try to push back the bedtime. Later bedtimes are more reasonable for contemporary parents who may not have a lot of daytime with their infants, and find that they have the most quality time at night. Babies become procrastinators for bedtime, especially if they haven’t had a lot of touch time from their parents during the day. There is no right or wrong bedtime, only the one that works for your particular family situation.
		Ready for Solids? Question: My five-month-old boy is breastfed exclusively. He eats five times a day and hasn’t started to “mooch” our food yet. How will I know when he is ready to start solids? Dr. Bill & Martha Sears: Your baby doesn’t need anything more to eat than your breast milk. In fact, some babies who are potentially allergic to solid foods will show a delayed interest in solids. Take cues from your baby when he needs solid foods. These may include: Showing more interest in watching you eat. Reaching for food on your plate (“mooching”) Shortening his usual intervals between breastfeeding. Seeming to be unsatisfied with milk alone. It is best to begin solids toward the end of the day when your milk supply is usually less — late afternoon is usually best. Try a ripe, mashed banana as a test. Place a tiny glob on your fingertip and place it on baby’s tongue. If it goes in, accompanied by an approving grimace, baby is ready and willing to eat solid foods. If your infant gives you the “closed-mouth” sign, wait a couple of weeks and try again. Remember, your first goal is to introduce your infant to solid foods, not to fill him up. This means going gradually to introduce him to different tastes and textures. A time-honored progression is: mashed banana, rice cereal, pears, squash, sweet potatoes, avocados. When you do introduce solids, keep a record of what your baby prefers — the amount, texture, and timing. Signs of solid food allergies are a red, sandpaper rash on cheeks or around the mouth, colicky, stomach aches, and a red rash in his diaper area. Moderator: Thanks for participating in our chat with Dr. Bill and Martha Sears. Dr. Bill & Martha Sears: Thanks, parents! See you soon! Read “Ask Dr. Bill & Martha Sears” Read Sears Spotlight Send Dr. Bill & Martha Sears a question