Back to You & Your Body

SEXUAL PRESSURE

What do you do when a person you like, maybe love, wants to have sex and you do not? It's a problem both girls and boys can face. If you're being pressure, these ideas might help.

Remember, you do not owe anyone sex. It doesn't matter what he or she has done for you. You have the right to say "NO!" even if:

• Someone has paid your way on a date.
• Someone has done you a favor.
• You have been dating this person for several months.
• You have had sex with this person before.

Think about what you want from a relationship. How do you want to be treated? Do you want sex to be a part of a relationship? What type of sexual activity are you comfortable with?

You may decide for example, that you may want to kiss someone but do not want to have intercourse.

To help you decide the kind of relationship you want, think about what you've learned from your family and people you admire.

Talk with the person you are seeing about how you feel. Talk about what you want and what you do not want.

It may help to practice what you would say and do if pressured to have sex. Think of all the lines that might be used and how you might answer.

A common line is "If you loved me, you'd do it." You could answer "If you loved me, you would not push me."

Be careful about certain situations. Being alone with someone new or someone who is pressuring you can be uncomfortable. You may feel better going out in groups or to places with lots of people around.

Using drugs and alcohol make it harder to stick with what you decided. Sometimes, when people are high they do things they really did not want to.

Rape and Incest

Rape is when someone forces you to have sex. Incest is when that person is a close relative, such as a father, mother, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, or stepparent.

They can force you with physical violence or with spoken threats.

Many people believe rape only happens by surprise. In a dark alley. In truth, rape often happens between people who know each other. Rape happens on dates (date rape) and in families (Incest).

No matter what someone has done for you, they have no right to force sex or touch you ways you do not like.

Rape and incest are crimes. The person who raped you has broken the law. If you have been raped it is not you fault.. There are laws to protect you against this. There are agencies to help you if you've been raped. These agencies will be on your side and will get you medical care so you don't get pregnant or an STD.

Remember, if someone has forced you to have sex, it is NOT YOU FAULT.