I admit it, I'm a fisherman. I'm an angler, a fisher, a pursuer of piscatorial pleasures. I spend as much time as possible tromping around bodies of water hoping to find game fish in the mood to eat the flies, lures, and baits I manipulate with questionable skill.

I have not always admitted this so freely. There was a time when I often woke in the night to quietly dress in waders and fishing hat and lock myself in the bathroom. Looking in the mirror I would whisper, "I am a fisherman, I am a fisherman, I am a fisherman." Eventually I learned to accept it.

Fishing, after all,is an occupation replete with shortcomings. We anglers are forced to endure a great deal of criticism from our families. We are laughed at by total strangers. We are accused of emitting fishy odors. We are personified as jerks on one end of a line waiting for jerks on the other end.

The problem,I'm convinced, is largely a failure of communication. Non-anglers have difficulty understanding not only why fishermen fish, they have difficulty understanding what they are talking about. Angling, like any discipline, long ago spawned a vocabulary of esoterica as incomprehensible to the uninitiated as the lexicons of computer hacks, baseball coaches, and heart surgeons.

Here, in an effort to promote understanding among people of all kinds, is a glossary of terms and phrases likely to be uttered by those men and women in chestwaders, reeking of fish scent, whose eyes have the wild, far-off look that comes after tasting the triumphs and trials of what has often (mysteriously) been dubbed the gentle sport:

hawg: 1. A game fish of impressive or extraordinary proportions, especially one that escaped capture or was not seen by reputable witnesses. 2. A term of derision sometimes applied to anglers who keep more fish than legally allowed or who do not practice catch-and-release.

lunker: 1. See hawg. 2. A term of derision sometimes applied to unskilled anglers, especially as a criticism of their failure to approach rivers or lakes with care or stealth.

cutthroat: 1. A species of trout (Salmo clarki) generally found in the lakes and rivers west of the Rocky Mountains in North America. 2. A term of derision applied to an angler who cheats at cards, rushes ahead to get favored positions in rivers and lakes, or who steals spouses, bait, or secret fishing holes.

crappie: 1. Species of panfish (Pomoxis nigro-maculatus and Pomoxis annularis) common to much of North America. 2. Poor or unproductive; a frequent response to the question, "How's the fishing?"

stonefly: 1. An aquatic insect found in many North American lakes and rivers. 2. An expression of doubt, as in, "You have as much chance catching that lunker as I do seeing a stonefly."

fish story: A popular form of angling entertainment in which a storyteller automatically assumes the audience is enthralled, and the audience automatically assumes the storyteller is exaggerating, embellishing, or fabricating.

boring details: 1. Undesirable chores in a fishing camp that are often relegated to the youngest or least experienced anglers. 2. integral parts of fish stories.

hotspot: 1. A formerly productive fishing location routinely reported in the outdoor section of a newspaper. 2. Any portion of a lake, river, or ocean where the population of anglers outnumbers the population of game fish.

secret fishing hole: 1. See hotspot. 2. The mythical setting of many fish stories.

angling skill: An attribute used to explain why one's own fishing results have been good, or why someone else's results have been poor.

angling luck: An attribute used to explain why one's own fishing results have been poor, or why someone else's results have been good.

fishinbuddy: A rare form of angling companion, one who is extraordinarily trustworthy, dependable, generous, and ethically exemplary; often a confidant of information an angler will not, can not, or dare not share with a spouse.

ketchininny: A familiar expression of greeting between anglers on lakes or rivers. Not to be confused with "kitchen-ninny": an angler lacking culinary aptitude.

gotaway:An expression commonly used when a lunker or hawg is hooked and battled but not captured; frequently used in combination with various complex expletives.

fishinlaws: A set of dictates strictly adhered to by most anglers. Examples are: "Fish won't bite when the cows are lying down," "fish won't bite during a waning moon," "wind from the west, fish bite the best / wind from the east, fish bite the least."

fishinlimit: Limitations of fishing time imposed on anglers by spouses and employers.

cast: 1. The tossing of a lure, bait or artificial fly with a line and rod. 2. A rigid support of plaster and cloth placed on the arm, leg, or nose of an angler who ignores fishinlimits.

phantom limb: A tree branch mysteriously capable of appearing out of nowhere to snag lures, bait, or artificial flies in the process of being cast.

tackle: A general term for fishing equipment, supplies and paraphernalia. 2. A maneuver sometimes employed by anglers to prevent or slow access of other anglers to hotspots or secret fishing holes.

line: A cord or string, of various diameters and materials, used to keep contact between fishermen and fish. 2. A form of discourse in which an angler attempts to impress or persuade waitresses, conservation officers, spouses, and other anglers.

leader: The length of line immediately preceding a lure, hook, or artificial fly. 2. The dominant personality in any group; in a fishing camp will often be the one who delegates boring details.

wader: 1. A fishing garment that forms an imperfect and temporary barrier between an angler and the water he stands, walks, or sits in. 2. A male restaurant employee who sometimes delivers meals in exchange for money.

guide: 1. An eyelet through which line is strung on a fishing rod. 2. A particularly well-informed, well-dressed, and experienced angler who sometimes shares angling information in exchange for money.

creel: A basket or bag, usually worn harnessed over an angler's shoulder, that is designed to hold captured fish; in practice it more often serves as a permanent depository for bait boxes, lures, sandwiches, insect repellents, flashlights, sunglasses, maps, paperback novels, Thermos bottles, pliers, entomological specimen kits, fly-tying vises, first-aid kits, and beer cans.

barb: 1. The backward-projecting point on a fish hook. 2. An unpleasant, carping remark often heard when two or more anglers engage in conversation.

drag: 1. A brake on a fishing reel. 2. The unnatural motion of a lure or artificial fly that results in disturbances on the surface of the water. 3. Unfortunate or unpleasant, as in "it was a drag that we tipped over in the canoe, that winter day, while your tackle box was wide open and your camera was out and you were fighting that lunker that promptly gotaway."

jig: 1. A variety of fishing lure that is activated by twitches and jerks of the rod. 2. A peculiar dance often engaged in by an angler who has caught a lunker or hawg.

Bimini twist: 1. A variety of fishing knot sometimes used to connect two lengths of line or leader. 2. A peculiar dance often engaged in by an angler who has caught a lunker or hawg, or who has witnessed a companion fail to catch a lunker or hawg.

blood knot: 1. A variety of knot sometimes used to connect two lengths of line or leader. 2. An elaborate ritual in which two or more fishinbuddies swear allegiance to protect the identity of hotspots or secret fishing holes.

hackle: 1. The furs or feathers used to simulate the legs of insects on artificial flies. 2. Unpleasant laughter or verbal derision peculiar to anglers; often employed when a fishinbuddy loses a lunker or hawg or steps into water deep enough to exceed the limits of his waders.

catch-and-release: 1. An angling technique in which hawgs and lunkers are carefully unhooked, gently revived, then released back into the water. 2. An explanation used by anglers who frequently come home without fish in their creels.

chumming: 1. An angling technique, often associated with desperate "last-ditch" efforts, in which bait is thrown into the water to attract game fish. 2. A form of friendly social discourse involving two or more fishinbuddies.

backlash: 1. A snarl, coil or over-run that is the result of lines that have been carelessly cast. 2. Verbal abuse that results from exceeding fishinlimits.

playing fish: 1. An angler's activity between the moment a fish is hooked and the moment it is lost; synonymous with "fighting fish." 2. A form of entertainment in which an angler, engaged in telling a fish story, purses his lips, wiggles, makes splashing sounds, and otherwise dramatizes the behavior of lunkers and hawgs said to have been caught, hooked, or observed.

troll: 1. To trail a lure, bait, or artificial fly behind a moving boat in an effort to induce game fish to strike. 2. A supernatural creature thought capable of increasing angling luck.

meat shot: Any photograph of an angler or anglers displaying dead fish. In meat shots of particularly large lunkers and hawgs, where identity is uncertain, the successful angler can often be seen as the one engaged in a jig or Bimini twist.

strike: 1. The snatching of a lure, bait, or artificial fly by a fish, and the reflexive jerk of an angler in response to it. 2. A suspension of work against employers, invented by anglers in an effort to increase fishinlimits.