If you want to be a Famous Fisherman I can help you. I have been watching people become Famous Fishermen since before lipped plugs became crankbaits.
During that period I was more interested in becoming a Famous Writer than a Famous Fisherman, but I did so poorly that I see now I should have taken the other route. It is a little late for me but you probably have time.
There are several procedures that will make you a Famous Fisherman, and I shall take them up one by one. Most winners have used them all and may have followed some plans I don't know about.
First, you must keep telling people you are a Famous Fisherman. Can you think of any Famous Fisherman who has not written about it or appeared on TV programs? Many folks have the false impression that a fisherman first becomes a master technician and then writes about it. The true angling celebrity writes about it while he is learning. He hopes that by the time he has convinced people he is an expert, he will be.
I was in a tackle shop when a young fellow came in and told the proprietor that he was a fishing celebrity. Those were the exact words he used, and I felt very cheap that I had not heard of him. He sold the store some of his books on fishing. The spelling was not too good, but I understand he became a successful guide. The book had only 140 pages, but you had to read it kind of slow.
If you want to be a Famous Fisherman but can barely write home for money, don't worry about it. There are establishments called "vanity publishers" who will publish anything, even if they can't tell what it is about, as long as you pay them. And to be famous you don't need to sell very many books. Some of the most valued fishing volumes in the world are collector's items because there weren't very many of them printed and they got scarce fast. They're first editions all right. In many cases the author carried the whole edition home with him under one arm. Many of these treasures wouldn't pass a seventh-grade composition assignment. A leather binding is a help, since everyone knows that anything bound in leather is literary.
IF YOU WRITE ABOUT FISHING, be sure to have some pictures of big fish. It is relatively simple to do this, and mounted specimens work fine as long as you throw them slightly out of focus. In telling anecdotes about fishing, always explain that such-and-such happened while you were instructing so-and-so in a special fishing method.
It is not necessary to have a really special method, but a special name for it is essential. I think the term "doodlesocking" is one of the best examples of that. It was recently applied to an ancient method of bass fishing involving heavy-handed operation of a cane pole. If you write about bass fishing, for example, I think "boomershooting" is a good term that has not yet been used and could be applied to all sorts of angling operations.
My wife and I starred in a couple of television angling movies, one of which involved snook and tarpon fishing. The best scene showed Debie (pronounced Deebee) playing a tarpon that jumped all over a bay but the boys in the cutting room had her landing a snook. Since neither of the people who saw this movie called about the goof, I submit it as proof that you needn't be too meticulous about such things. Debie and I never were in enough television to become Famous Fisherpersons. I suspect the fact that Debie fell in while wading with an expensive microphone fastened to her shirt may have gotten us blackballed.
Whether in print, on TV, or in personal conversation, it is essential that a Famous Fisherman familiarize himself with true piscatorial language, and in this geography and method are all-important. For example, freshwater trout fishermen north of Tennessee speak considerable Latin, and black bass fishermen south of there are careful to conceal any implication of literacy.
A famous fly caster in Pennsylvania is likely to point out that his fly imitates the Pseudocloeon anoka dun, thus establishing himself a notch above anyone who calls the same creature a brownish bug. In Georgia, a shiner soaker who mentioned that his bait is a member of the family Cyprinidae would probably be buying his own beer for some time. A famous trout angler, of course, should not be interested in beer and is likely to drink wine from a bota, a kind of waterproof leather sack with a squirt nozzle on it that allows you to drink like a chicken, by tilting your head back. If appearance is the only important thing, of course, you could put beer or Classic Coke in your bota and no observer would know. If your bota is really made of leather, you probably couldn't tell the difference either.
THE TERMINOLOGY OF NORTH AND SOUTH is deeply divided. For example, no true Southern bassin' man will call a big bass a bass if he can remember to call it a "sow" or a "hawg." And in the North a trout angler would say a fish produced a slash rise. He would never say it splashed like hell.
It is very difficult for an English professor to become a famous bass fisherman for he has difficulty in leaving off his "g's," no matter how far he spits or how many plastic worm ads he paints on his boat. However, it has been done by a few who could go from the lily pads to the classroom without so much as a split infinitive.
TV fishing ordinarily demands dialogue, although I feel there are times when tense silence would be better. As in any other form of communication there have been some sparkling phrases╤so colorful they are repeated over and over on the air. These include:
"Man, he sure is a fighter!"
"Yourn is bggerin' mine!"
"Boy, oh boy!"
"Lookit 'im go!"
"Gol Dang!"
"I love it!"
It is necessary for some of these phrases to be repeated as reruns, so to speak, because some of the writers of fishing-show copy have abandoned the field and now are writing dialogue for professional wrestling interviews.
IN BECOMING A FAMOUS FISHERMAN it is essential that you do something unique. For example, I once achieved local fame as a black bass angler by catching fish on crochet thread. I am modest about this achievement, partly because the thread tested 28 pounds, but I feel this area could be further explored. When spinning tackle was new, I was acquainted with an offshore angler who became temporarily famous by catching sailfish on spinning gear. This technique involved a special form of skill because he could not get much of his 80-pound monofilament on the reel.
Many years ago a really good Florida fisherman became a Famous Fisherman by catching alligators on a fly rod. This was a surprise to him, I think, but a New York columnist happened to see him do it, and the farther away a reader gets from alligators, the harder they are to catch on a fly rod. They were not very big alligators.
Along this line, I note that hardly anyone has done much fishing in the Gulf Stream with a belly boat or float tube. This is a wide-open field, and if you have no float tube, you can make one from an old truck innertube.
THERE ARE ESSENTIAL WORDS. The term "structure" is a rather recent addition to fishing literature and is used by famous bass fishermen to describe almost anything beneath the surface. For example, if a bass fisherman looks over the side in clear water and sees a diesel locomotive down there, he probably will state that it is structure. If it were running, I still doubt that he would call it a diesel locomotive. You don't mention specific names where "structure" will cover the subject. Even saltwater fishermen have discovered this word, and if lost Atlantis is ever located offshore I'm sure it will be described as structure.
By now you may realize that a Famous Fisherman must resign himself to a sort of restrictive popularity. I doubt if one can ever be recognized in all schools of sport fishing. For example, Roland Martin was unknown at a big Trout Unlimited meeting where I held an inquiry, and some bassers thought Douglas Swisher was a tight end. I was able to convince both groups that Kip Farrington was a rock star. If none of these names mean anything to you, it is probably just as well. Potential Famous Fishermen should never recognize established Famous Fishermen except when engaged in name-dropping.
In dropping a name, never allow it to appear that the owner of the dropped name taught you anything or was in any way your superior in any area. You can always say that such-and-such happened when so-and-so (a Famous Fisherman) was just getting started or was visiting you to learn more about sheefish or steelhead. Keep showing up at fishing resorts and inquiring if such and such a Famous Fisherman is around. Leave your name for him to call you and mumble that "the jerk is late again."
CATCHING RECORD FISH is a good way to get started toward fame, but it is a little difficult to break into some categories. For example, it might take quite a while to catch the biggest fly rod tarpon with people like Billy Pate around. However, there are some wide-open categories. For example, I have never heard of anyone claiming a two-pound line record for the shovelnose guitarfish. The drill is to catch one, declare a record, and produce considerable information about what a hell-slather fighter the shovelnose guitarfish is. The International Game Fish Association is making this sort of practice easier by offering to recognize some new record species like the leatherskin queenfish.
One step toward fame is the use of a unique boat, especially one with a colorful name. I very nearly made it once when I was invited to speak at an angler's club because the program chairman thought I was the owner of a boat with a risquÄ name. He was disappointed when I said I had no boat with a dirty name, for he'd supposed I was quite a card. To get this kind of start, all you need is a little paint and a brush. Everybody knows the owner of a boat with a dirty name is a fun guy.
Put your own name on your boat╤something like "Joe Blow, Master Of Angling" or "Joe Blow, World Champion Fisherman." There once was a casting champion from Chicago who wore white shirts with "World Champion Fisherman" across the shoulders in letters three inches high. That was in a day before coveralls with short sleeves were called jumpsuits, and most of those who saw those shirts thought it was a gag, even though the man had the trophies to prove he was a world champion╤at least in casting.
The word "champion" though is very important, and I suspect that almost everyone is a champion at something if he will just find out what. That shovelnose guitarfish, for example, could make you a world champion in a hurry, and there might not be a runner-up.
At one time, all famous male fishermen smoked pipes when being photographed and did so even if pipe smoking made them deathly ill. The Old Hat custom prevails in some areas. Famous Fishermen were supposed to wear old and filthy hats and their wives were supposed to be continually endeavoring to capture the hats and throw them away. The Old Hat custom is fading a little after a hundred years. Bass fishermen, however, have gone to visor caps with advertising. Nothing makes quite the impression of a bright orange cap advertising Glutz Worms or the like. This advertising theme can be carried over into jumpsuits, the implication being that somebody paid for use of the space, even if the jumpsuit wearer bought the patches himself. Remember, we are not into the financial end at the moment, only building an image we might cash in on later.
ALL FAMOUS FISHERMEN ARE SUPPOSED to be widely traveled, and it is a rule that the farther away fish are, the larger they become. The principle of distance adding prestige is applied to anglers seeking recognition far from home as well as to those making long trips to inform the home folks.
Some time back I received a call from a touring angler who wanted to know where he could catch large bass. He explained that he was not interested in six- and eight-pound bass, as he could catch all of those he wanted back home. This interested me, as I have never been able to catch all of the six- and eight-pound bass I wanted and have tried for some time. I asked him where he lived, and he said he came from Missouri. Since I have fished some in Missouri and have found some days when I was a little short of six- and eight-pound bass, I realized that I was dealing with a Famous Fisherman in the making. I said that I knew just how he felt, as I had fished in Missouri and realized that six- and eight-pound bass could get very tiresome. For a moment I thought the phone had gone dead, but he recovered quickly and requested the location of some "10- and 12-pound bass." I told him where they were but did not mention that I hadn't caught a 10-pound bass in 16 years. I think he thinks I am a Famous Fisherman.
Famous Fishermen continually report how they solved an angling mystery after everyone else had given up. It is essential, however, that this be done with a flair and described in proper terminology. I feel that Harry Murray, who has a tackle shop in Virginia, accomplished this when he was a youth and did it to perfection.
I must mention for you unlettered types that "matching the hatch" is a term used in high-class trout circles when you find an artificial fly that matches the real ones the fish are pigging out on. Harry used that term, although his stroke of genius had nothing to do with trout. It seems Harry fished a small Virginia stream that had chicken hatcheries along its banks, and when hatching eggs went bad the operators would throw them into the creek. In Virginia and points north there is a rather uncivilized fish called a fallfish, with a reputation roughly equivalent to Louisiana mudfish. Fallfish along Harry's creek became hooked on chicken eggs, so to speak, and watchful Harry made some lures to match them. Having a lot of class, Harry said he was "matching the hatch."
One sure ploy in the business of fame is growing older, actually, a rather simple process. Speaking of the "old days" sets one apart from johnny-come-lately fishermen, no matter how advanced or scientific their methods. It is widely known that the old days were much better, having more and larger fish.
An important feature of the old days is that the older the days, the less accurate need be reports concerning them. I find that in order to handle this properly, certain evidence must be tactfully destroyed. I recently burned a quantity of photographs made many years ago, all of them showing fish that were incredibly small, and although I feel this was largely caused by some shrinking of the photographic emulsion itself, I saw no reason to leave such spurious documentation around. Although I have long since abandoned any thought of being a Famous Fisherman, I felt the record should be left open, so to speak, and unencumbered by questionable photographs.
This story originally appeared in Field Days: Irrepressible Tales of Fly Fishing, Wingshooting, and the Great Outdoors , published by Countrysport Press. Copyright (c) 1995 Charles F. Waterman. All rights reserved.
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