But no. My dream was not to come true. Apparently, I had asked for too much, because the whole thing ended up goin' straight to hell. Approximately one month before the Dream Theater concert with Deep Purple and Emerson, Lake, and Palmer, Joel had been promised 2 backstage passes and 1 ticket. I, of course, didn't mind having to shell out $40 for a ticket because I had my own backstage pass and I was going to TOUCH MIKE PORTNOY. (Incidentally, Joel did pay for half of my ticket, big sweetie.)

So I bought my ticket, and low and behold, two days before the show, Joel gets an e-mail from DT's promoter. He wants Joel's confirmation on the 1 ticket and 1 pass that will be waiting for him at the will call window. What?! After much despair, Joel and I decided we would make the trek to Tinley Park and see if we could get another pass out of the guy. If nothing else, at least we'd be able to see the show.

We left in time to arrive at 5 p.m., as we had been instructed. Show time was at 7 o'clock. At 6:15, the information was finally brought to the will call window. Joel got the envelope with his name, opened it, and... ONE BACKSTAGE PASS?! WHAT THE FUCK?! Had it not been for an angel of a woman catching a big mistake on the part of the promoter, asses would've been kicked. (She had 4 tickets and 4 passes for one person, do monkeys organize these things?) She gave us two tickets together and a pass for me. It looked like I might get my wish after all.

Our optimism lasted for all of about 2 minutes. Sure, we were backstage, but it was now forty minutes to show time, and we were supposed to compete with a former band mate for Mike's attention. At about 6:25, we finally talked to him. It lasted no more than 30 seconds. Portnoy politely told us that we might be able to interview him after the show, but he had several other people he had to talk to. And that was that. I suppose I could've extended my hand and shaken his, accomplishing the goal I had sought to achieve for a whole month. But I froze. I vaguely recall nodding my head a few times during those 30 seconds. What was I supposed to do? I was within feet of sheer greatness... MIKE PORTNOY!

So, I choked. After all of the bullshit, Joel didn't get his interview, and I didn't touch Mike Portnoy. We found our seats and decided it was best to admit defeat, and just enjoy the show and forget the interview. The final insult of the day came when Dream Theater came out and played for only 40 minutes. Yep, 6 songs. That was it. Our spirits had been crushed and we'd only gotten 6 songs out of it.

In retrospect, Joel and I agreed that the day hadn't been all bad. We did get to hear "Pull Me Under," "Hollow Years," and "Metropolis" live, and that in itself is worth a whole helluva lot. Derek Sherinian wore his leather pants, which made me happy. And, our brief encounter with The Great One confirmed my suspicion... Mike Portnoy is short. I saw his height listed in a bio once as 5'10". That, my friends, is a lie. I'd give him 5'8 1/2", at most. And he was sporting a new, short haircut, which I thought was cute but Joel wasn't really fond of. I guess "cute" isn't quite the look Joel expects from his metal bands.