Transgender
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"Itís that Motherís Day time of the year again, and itís been about a year since I last wrote to you. Although Iím sure youíve kept up with all your kids and grandkids, and now great-grandkids, in your own way, this letter is MY way of keeping in touch. From my perspective, of course, the most important thing is to tell you how S_ has been doing. And heís been doing very well, indeed. Now that heís three-and-a-half years old, heís turned into a real person, albeit a small one. However, if doubling their height at the age of three does truly reveal what someoneís adult height will be, heís going to be over six feet tall when he gets done growing. Heís shown himself to be smart, too, including his mouth. Iím sure you wouldnít know anything about having smart- mouthed kids! Finally, we had new neighbors move in next door two weeks ago and they have two little boys, so he finally has some kids near his age to play with. I hadnít realized how very much he wanted and needed that. C_ is doing as well as can be expected. Sheís still got her usual assortment of aches and ills, but lives with them as well as she can. Sheís even started exercising again. I think having a little boy around, whose job is solely to play and learn and have fun, has finally taught her to lighten up and not be so intense and serious about life. Sheís also looking for another job again, including in the for-profit arena. Working for charitable organizations might be good for the soul, but itís terrible for the pocketbook. In addition, many of the folks working there are well meaning, but ignorant for the most part about how to run a business. And nowadays charities really need to be run like businesses in order to survive and thrive. S#ís doing well. Heís a proud grandfather, soon for a third time. I still canít quite get my mind around the concept that my younger brother is a grandfather while my first child is not yet four. M_ and his crew will be moving to Florida soon, but they have a nice place there thatís big enough for R_ to have her horses again. They waited until the kids were out of school before heading out. Itís exciting and scary for them, since neither M_ nor R_ have ever lived any further from here than the sixty miles to College Station when they went to college. And S* and I have gotten a lot closer in the past year. Being a professional show- biz person, I finally broke down and asked for her advice about my comedy act. But in order to show her any videos of my performances, I had to tell her about my transgenderism. She was totally cool with it, and in fact was more impressed with the fact that I did standup comedy, and did it well, too - thank you very much. Since sheís not working as a nightclub singer now, she has even offered to let me go through her closet and see if any of her formal dresses will fit me. I might just take her up on it. I broke down and had some work done on my face this year, too. Nothing major, and Iíd sure like to get the whole thing remodeled, but this time around I just settled for getting the sagging roof on the front porch propped up and a new coat of paint. Iím still skating and trying to fight off the advancing years as best I can, but itís hard. It gets a little tougher every year to get out in the spring and work hard in the yard. Even with the skating, my knees get a little worse every year - although Iíve managed to forestall any arthroscopic work by continuing to exercise them. And just because I can, Iíve started growing my hair long again. So far, no one else likes it, and I doubt that you would either, but itís my head. I had to make a number of trips to Mexico City last year, but havenít had to travel much at all this year. I think the farthest Iíve been is across town to Pasadena. Not being gone from home for prolonged periods is much more important to me now that S_ and C_ and I are a real family. I wish that you were here to see it and to even be a part of it. I miss you, sometimes as just a little ache, sometimes as a big crying hurt. Now that Iím finally grown up enough to realize how hard a job you had as my mother, Iíd like to be able to really tell you how much I appreciate what a good job you did. I understand that everyoneís life has the same outcome; I just didnít want you to go out as soon as you did. Now, I guess the best way that I can show my appreciation is to pass along your lessons to my son and try to give him as much of what you gave me as I can. Thank you for being my mother, in every good sense of that word. Eldest (and still best!) child" |
