Dynamics of a Transgender Support Group:
Serving The First-Timers

Though the purposes of starting a support group are usually clear, it is important for facilitators to clarify an achievable set of goals before they begin. Doing this will establish a clear understanding of what the group is and what it will accomplish (Corey, 1992, p. 3). A good first step is to define what a group is in general. By definition, a group assembles a number of individuals into a unifying relationship.

Consider the example of "Crossroads", an organization for transgenders that serves the Southeast Michigan area. Crossroads group, by definition, assembles first-timers together, producing a relationship in which they can speak freely, ask questions, and have their feelings understood during an anxiety-producing situation. The purpose of Crossroads group is to create a hospitable, nonjudgmental, and understanding environment where first-timers can meet and interact.

Crossroads monthly meetings have attendances from anywhere between twenty to sixty people. In nearly every meeting, there are individuals attending for the first time. Often, these individuals have a high amount of anxiety and experience difficulty socializing and meeting others. To accommodate this, a special support group was started, the results of which have been successful. Crossroads first-timers support group begins after the formal part of each monthly meeting, and lasts about an hour. Using research on groups, and using the author's experience facilitating Crossroads group, this article will examine group therapy for transgenders.

For transgenders, going into public as their gender of choice can bring hostility from the larger society. Feelings of anxiety, already high, are magnified when a transperson attends a meeting with strangers in an unfamiliar environment. Anything that heightens that anxiety, or causes discomfort, can cause a first-timer to leave and never return. In some situations, first-timers have reported approaching a meeting several times and then losing their courage to attend. Watching the meeting from a distance, they walk by several times without entering, and then repeat this process the following month. In other instances, first-timers attend a meeting without crossdressing, even though they planned on doing so. Sometimes, first-timers are interacting with others crossdressed for the very first time. Some may want to meet others and socialize but leave without hardly speaking to anyone. These are a few examples of the comfort level a first-timer may have, and the degree to which they begin to interact.

To understand how a first-timer feels in these situations, group facilitators should remember how anxious they felt when they first went into public crossdressed, or when they first informed others about their crossdressing. Facilitators, being more comfortable with their crossdressing, essentially serve as role models. Having gone through similar experiences of coming out, facilitators may wish to put early feelings of anxiety behind them. Keeping those memories in mind, however, helps facilitators identify with the issues first-timers bring to group. Also, facilitators should be aware that first-timers may not know how to make themselves look their best, creating additional feelings of self-consciousness. Facilitators should be sensitive to first-timers concerns, handling their interactions with delicacy and care. Facilitators should be relaxed, demonstrate empathy and offer reassurance when needed (Lang, 1988, p. 6). By demonstrating genuine concern for the issues first-timers bring to group, anxiety can be minimized and channeled into cathartic, meaningful dialogue.

Unlike many support groups in which membership stays relatively consistent, the participants in Crossroads first-timers group are mostly strangers gathering together for the first time. This, along with a short one-hour meeting time, puts obstacles in the path towards solidarity and cohesiveness. To account for this, facilitators should emphasize and reinforce similarities when they see them happening. Frequently, cohesion comes from seeing others express feelings and ideas which they felt were unique only to them. For first-timers, speaking about their transgenderism without receiving a negative reaction is positive, and a support group may be the first time that they experience this. Gender and sexual minorities often feel better about themselves after meeting and interacting with people in similar circumstances. Support groups, accordingly, are beneficial for minorities who are fearful of disclosing a part of themselves that they would otherwise keep secret (Marshak, 1990, p. 58).

Traditionally, the majority of information anyone could find on transgenderism was negative. For transgenders, the ramifications of this was far-reaching. Just as many homosexuals experience internalized homophobia, being acclimated into a heterosexist society, many transgenders have similarly learned to dislike transgenderism, even though they themselves are transgendered. This internalized discomfort, called internalized genderphobia, is frequently a subject of discussion in transgender support groups. The vilification of transgenderism by the larger society is so pervasive and intense that its impact on transgenders cannot be overemphasized. Just like anyone, a transgender's self-esteem is an evaluation of their self-worth, which is influenced by their past social relationships (Yalom, 1995, p. 57). A negative view of transgenderism permeates the larger society, and this makes transpeople feel guilty for being who they are. A transgender support group, conversely, provides a transperson the opportunity to discuss their transgenderism with others without experiencing retaliation or rejection. As a result, a support group meeting helps a transperson establish a new social relationship which they use to re-evaluate their self-worth.

Despite being a part of the same subculture, not everyone in the group will hold the same views. Transgenders come from diverse backgrounds and are often worlds apart in their belief systems and values. Just as the larger society has minorities and sub-cultures, there are minorities and sub-cultures in transgender society too. These differences are often influenced by the sexual orientation and lifestyle of each member. In some situations, transgenders share that they are gay, but find themselves a minority within that culture. Other transgenders are heterosexual and have no part of gay culture, and many heterosexual transgenders report being comfortable and accepted in gay culture. Facilitators should be aware that experiences such as these affect the opinions and outlooks that are brought to group.

First-timers frequently bring issues to group that are complex and thought-provoking: "If I identify as the opposite gender, does that change my sexual orientation? "If my spouse discovers my transgenderism, will she accept me?" "If I come out at work will I keep my job?" Identity provides a foundation for which one's personality, self-esteem, and place within society rest. For this reason, sexuality and gender identity issues should not be underestimated. In many situations, transgenders find a support group from a professional referral. Generally, however, most conversation centers on topics of a less serious nature. These questions range across a wide variety of topics, some of which may not be transgender related. First-timers may simply be seeking information about local support groups in their area, or they may be interested in finding places to meet other transgenders for friendship. Some are seeking professional referrals or hospitable places to go transgendered. Sometimes, professionals attend the first-timers group to learn more about helping a transgendered client in their practice. In some situations, a client and her therapist may wish to attend a group meeting together.

Sometimes, someone in group will dominate the agenda, speaking about topics unpopular with others. A facilitator should be prepared to intervene if this situation causes a problem. Besides sexual orientation, differences of opinion are often based on the extent to which someone is changing their gender. A facilitator should be assertive if one person dominates conversation with something of little importance to others, or is something that others find offensive. Facilitators should direct conversation away from topics that create factions, or are of little use to most participants. A facilitator, on the other hand, should not ignore the needs of the minority either, and should know when polarity is constructive. In group therapy, putting forth hard and fast rules is difficult because every situation is different. The facilitator will have to decide what is the correct course of action in each situation. A facilitator should also exercise caution if someone brings a loved one to the group. When this happens, the topic of conversation may alarm a loved one into feeling her significant other is interested in a sex change operation when this is not the situation. One may want to consider having a separate support group for wives and significant others in these situations too.

Crossroads first-timers group succeeds at helping transgenders experience a fundamental sense of commonality, to speak with others like them, and see themselves and those like them as real, three-dimensional people. In many situations, doing this by any other means is difficult or impossible. Transgenders in group often share experiences of being alone, and not knowing how to meet others like them, or not knowing if others who crossdress are like them. By sharing their feelings and listening to others, transgender support groups increase awareness, individual growth, and a sense of alikeness. Jamie, a co-facilitator of Crossroads first-timers support group, states, "The group helps a newcomer to not feel alone. People attending come from different paths, different experiences, and different roads - the group helps everyone be stronger by being together." Steve O'Day, another co-facilitator, adds, "People bring different emotions to the meeting, sometimes fear, sometimes euphoria - the group gives newcomers an opportunity to express those feelings and to share this part of themselves with others."

Group meetings should be well planned, taking into account that unfamiliarity or inexperience with a group process can cause reluctance and embarrassment for new members. For many people, it is difficult discussing personal issues with strangers (Lang, 1988, p. 6). Because first-timers are often apprehensive about attending, it should be emphasized that participation in the first-timers group is voluntary. The group location and meeting time should be announced to everyone during the formal part of the meeting, and a formal flyer displayed at the meeting entrance is recommended, as well as an announcement in the organization newsletter. Facilitators may want to extend a personal invitation to first-timers sometime beforehand, and ask first-timers if they have questions or topics they want to see addressed in the group. Whenever possible, groups should be held in a private separate room so as to eliminate distractions.

Group facilitators should attend meetings consistently and meet independently to discuss ongoing group dynamics. Facilitators should begin the group with an introduction, informing members who they are and their experience facilitating groups. Facilitators should notify everyone of the purpose of the group and ask that personal information remain confidential. A good way to begin the group is by asking everyone to introduce themselves and share their relationship with transgenderism. Veteran members who request to attend the group should be discouraged. Veteran members, being less inhibited about their transgenderism, can dominate discussion and divert attention from the goal of the group, which is to give first-timers the opportunity to speak. If veteran members insist on attending, suggest having another support group or even several support groups.

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