Within days of my T-confession to Brenda, we planned to get my ears pierced. We decided to wait for about 6 weeks because of a trip to see my parents and the mistaken belief that 6 weeks after piercing my ears I could simply take the earrings out for a family wedding that I was to be in. I was visiting my parents October 8th and 9th and the wedding was Thanksgiving so that gave me slightly less than six weeks. I, being the impatient type, decided that was plenty of time.

When Monday the 10th arrived, I could barely contain my excitement or apprehension, but I had to all day at work. I had not given any warnings or hints about doing this to anybody, so I knew it was going to be quite the surprise. When Brenda and I were finally home from work we headed out to the closest mall and looked for Claire's, an accessory boutique that does ear piercing. We walked into Claire's and found the starter earrings. I decided on the medium-sized fake diamonds mounted with a post shaped like a star. They seemed small, but that was OK with me. The sales girl, Irene, came over and Brenda did the talking. It was no big deal when Brenda told Irene that the earrings were for me, but when we told her I wanted both ears pierced, she was quite surprised. Irene asked me "why" and I mumbled something about "being a little different, but not too different." She was skeptical, but of course was willing to do it. She was, in fact, quite cute; "I am going to pierce your left ear first in case you change your mind and decide you only want one." In fact, she was called away between ears but came back and pierced my right ear. Imagine my surprise when we were done and she explained to me that I could change earrings after 6 weeks, but had to keep studs in for another 2 months after that! So much for my planning!

My first moment of truth came the next day at work. Luckily I worked at a small company where I would see everyone within an hour of going to work so it would hopefully not be a long drawn-out process. The reaction was mixed -- from my friend Kristine loving them to my coworker Barry teasing me for the next two years. Barry initially teased me about being gay until the president of the company ordered him not to (I found this out days later). After that Barry got much more creative, for example telling me I should get a pirate shirt. My boss, Jack, decided not to encourage me and took great pains to never officially notice. It actually almost became a game. In fact, the only time Jack ever mentioned my earrings was just prior to a business trip where he asked me to tone them down. I was impressed by that particular request instead of asking me not to wear them (which I would have honored). Over the next 2 and a half years they saw a lot of changes in me but nothing exceedingly cruel or discriminatory was ever done or said to me. I have discovered that the earrings (as well as the rest of my "look") have been accepted fairly well at my subsequent jobs. I think that is because they think I have always been this way and therefore it is just a quirk. (As opposed to trying to understand the reason for the change)

Of course, the second moment of truth was the wedding! We arrived in town the day before my parents. Other than my sister and grandmother asking me why, and expressing mild disapproval, nothing was said. When I saw my mother the next day, it was dÈj‡ vu. She also chose to completely ignore my new earrings. I was surprised and in a weird sort of way even felt cheated! I finally asked her, "Are you ignoring them or are you just blind?" "Oh, your earrings, your Aunt Nelta told me about those as soon as I got here." She told me that she did not like them but it wasn't a big deal because they are my ears. (She knows the true reason that I did it, and I am afraid that hurts her because she blames herself.) Her only concern was how my cousin felt since I was in his wedding party. He wanted me to be myself, and besides, the earrings went pretty well with the Mickey Mouse vests that we wore!

By all rights, piercing my ears was a major turning point in my life. Although it is "accepted" for guys to have pierced ears, it is still primarily a feminine thing. Given my feminine characteristics, it is a big clue. I had wanted to do it for at least 20 years, so it was also a big step towards accepting myself and confronting the world. It was also anticlimactic. I didn't really receive any weird looks, and very little fallout from any work or family situations. Of course everybody's circumstances are different and I would suggest people be willing to accept the worst reaction they can imagine before they do something like this. Then, when it turns out much less than that, it too may be "no big deal."

Epilogue:
One of the most special things about my pierced ears was that when I did it, and I was scared, Brenda held my hands the whole time. Often, when changing earrings, I think of that moment and smile because that is what truly made it special. On a recent visit to Memphis I impulsively decided to get my ears double pierced. I was visiting my best friend Michele whom I hardly see anymore (because I now live 1100 miles away), and she was getting her second hole repierced. While she didn't hold my hands or anything, she was still there supporting me. Now, when I change my earrings I can smile even bigger because I will be thinking of the two most important people to me! Cool!