Why Be TG After 40?

By Terrianne Summers

I have read several articles that have ask the same question: Why are there so many TG people just coming out that are over the age of forty? After reading the book "Brain Sex" last month and doing a bit of thinking about why I have this increasing drive to become my fem self I think I have found some reasons. I have known since early child hood that I was different, and that I desired to wear woman's clothing. But why I had these feelings was always a mystery. I suffered the shame, guilt, and emotional distress that all of you have during these times of youth.

As a young person, I tended to try and prove that I was a real man. Knowing inside that I wanted to put on a pretty dress, I would make up an outside "me" that would serve as my cover and help to repress these feelings of femininity. With testosterone levels being at their highest levels we gain the ability to suppress those internal feelings and assists in the projection of the person that society wants us to be. I entered the military and spent 22 years fighting the urge to be my true self. Yet, now in by late forties the urge to become my true self is getting stronger. Why?

During the youthful years full of testosterone, I was able to be the "real man" with a very nice family raising my two boys to become good and honest people. Now as I grow older two things are starting to take over and make the female within me become more dominant. The first one I realized during the time that I went away to think about how I was going to tell my wife that I am transgendered. I spent a week in a hotel reflecting on life and trying out femininity for an extended time. Up to this time I had only dresses for a few hours.

I came to the following realization:

I am not getting any younger and up to now the male within me has dominated my life almost exclusively. This is the start of the rest of my life, and it is time that the female within me gets to enjoy life too. Life is too short to live it unhappy. The closet is a lonely place and not one where I wished to spend the last part of my life. But why is this drive coming out so strong now?

After reading "Brain Sex" it all started to make sense. The book pointed out that as we age, the hormone levels start to decrease in our bodies. The author pointed out that grandfathers become more caring of the grandchildren much like a mother would. Well, here is my theory on that too. With the decrease of testosterone, the effects of the female hormones could be greatly enhanced. If the level of estrogen does not decrease as fast as testosterone, then we start to have a more feminine hormonal balance. The brain of the transgendered male to female is more like that of a female, and with this new balance of estrogen over testosterone, the female brain will start to take over the sociological formed male being and start to transform the TG MTF into more the person that they truly are, the woman within.

With my children grown and most of life behind me, I now realize that I need to let the female within come out and live. It causes great emotional stress to fight the ever increasing ratio of estrogen to testosterone levels. I believe that if I do not follow my true self, then it could be damaging and destructive in the long run. Some TG people have lower levels of estrogen and the drives are not as strong. For them being a crossdresser will allow the woman within to be happy. For some the levels are so high that they are destine to SRS. In between there is a whole magnitude of TG people who will seek to find their own level of femininity.

Feel free to contact me if you have comments about this article.

Terriannetg@geocities.com

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