It all began many years ago when God chose to reveal herself to JoAnn high atop Pocono Summit. It was then that JoAnn received the Ten Suggestions, consisting primarily of fashion tips and some make-up tricks. Somewhere within those guidelines exists a dress code for TV's.

Incidentally, God has revealed herself to others. Owing to the combination of a body briefer, control top pantyhose and unlimited free drinks at a casino, I've had my own "out of body" experience during which I talked to God. When I told this to Linda, she asked, "Well, what did you talk about?" "Shopping mostly, darling."

Despite doing my utmost to adhere to the rules, I find that genetic women are now dressing so feminine it is getting hard to tell them from the transvestites! Ladies are now sporting rather dramatic make-up, dangling earrings, high heels and tight-fitting clothes. Perhaps, it would be worth a second trip up Pocono Summit to see if the Ten Suggestions have been revised? However, I seem to be digressing, the point of this story was to tell you about losing my crossdressing license...

I clearly recall corresponding with JoAnn about one of my upcoming nights on the town en femme. I hinted that I had planned to wear an open necked silk blouse, tight-fitting black jeans, and a comfortable pair of flats. Well, much to my surprise, JoAnn immediately responded by referencing the Ten Suggestions, and stating that if I failed to wear at least pumps, I was in danger of having my license to crossdress revoked. Of course, I complied. And, I might add, had a rather exciting evening. Thank God for nearsighted gentlemen in darkly lit clubs!

Since that time, I've traveled far and wide en femme, including wearing a silver lamé evening gown to Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. This was a rather mixed experience. In an attempt to prove to Linda that pantyhose should be worn under one's panties to prevent them from falling down, I tried it her way. Well... as we left the casino, I felt my pantyhose venturing towards my ankles. Always one to prove a point, I stopped next to the fountain, asked Linda to hold my purse, and hiked my dress up to get a grip on the hose. Fortunately, it was at night. Unfortunately, the casino just then turned on the floodlights around the fountain. I'm not sure if that honeymoon couple behind us have yet recovered.

And who would have guessed that the empty highway patrol car, parked at the rest area along I-40 in Arkansas, was assigned to a female state trooper? Of course, I didn't. Why wasn't there a sign in the window that said, "Gone to the Ladies room, back in 5 minutes."? Another narrow escape. The rest stop incident involving the bus full of Assembly of God of Mena, Arkansas teenaged girls was another close call. Thanks for the warning, Linda.

Along the way, while trying to safeguard my CD License, I've tried various tips and tricks. Among these have been some that worked very well, and some that were dismal failures.

One success story was my purchase of a "Diva," cleavage enhancer. This little gadget works so well that I have often been accused of taking hormones. It is a real eye catcher in the casinos when wearing low-cut, or open blouses. Of course, when I wear it, Linda seems to stay quite close to me. I wonder why that is?

Among the disaster stories, is one that my sister Belinda refers to as the "Attack of the Giant Boobs!" I don't know what it was, but I simply had this overwhelming desire to display nice breasts, yet to be bra-less at the same time. The adhesive was easy to apply and worked well throughout the entire evening. And girl, did I have fun! However, as always, there comes the time that we Cinderella's must "leave the ball." So, when I had to remove the forms from my chest, I discovered why this technique is not so wildly popular. Ouch! It took months for the scars to heal. This brings to mind a possible name for a movie, "Honey, I Shrunk the Tits!" I am now wearing bras like a good girl.

Due to our moving to the Northland, the last few months have led me to believe that I am in danger of having my CD License revoked again! First there were the interviews, then the packing, then living in a motel, working twelve hours a day, then the move-in and unpacking. Immediately following that was a slew of endless visitors.

Don't get me wrong, we love our new home, and especially Duluth. Our house overlooks Lake Superior, and the view is magnificent. Linda and I have always wanted a house in need of fixing up, and, thanks mainly to the efforts of the previous owners, we have one. The word "potential," is quite commonly used in our home.

All of this has left precious little time for venturing out en femme. Apparently, the "Ten Suggestions," include some sort of clause about "frequency." If one does not transform within a certain period of time, they may have their CD License suspended indefinitely. To avert this, I have continued to keep my body smooth shaven. Perhaps this in some hopes that while on the way to work I'll be car-jacked by a body-stocking saleslady with a wild penchant for crossdressers? It does seem unlikely, doesn't it?

Now, Linda has formulated a plan... "Honey, you know that only two hours away is the largest mall in North America?" Stay tuned, I'll let you know how it goes. I'm sure to do something foolish.