Where do I go from here is my question.
I recently told my wife of ten years my strong feelings for cross-dressing. This was at the
instigation of my doctor whom I had just seen regarding my severe
depression. I had told her of the cross-dressing when we first got
together, but she said, "no" and I accepted that since she was wonderful,
beautiful, and I was extremely happy being with her.
Then her kids left
the nest, I retired, and things began to go downhill both personally and
sexually. I had sneaked in a few dressing sessions using her clothing
during the years but the guilt of doing it this way was beginning to weigh
heavily on me. The urge was getting stronger and I was completely
frustrated and unhappy.
She sensed this but didn't know the cause.
Finally she sent me in for a physical exam and I told the doctor generally
what was bothering me. He said that I must discuss it with my wife
regardless of her opinions. It took me three days, but I finally got up
the courage to do it.
I downloaded various articles from Linda and
Vanessa and other sources as background material should we get that far in
the conversation.
To my surprise she listened attentively to me, then read
the articles carefully and asked me many questions about my feelings and
desires.
She didn't bolt and run nor throw me out instantly. Again to my
surprise she said that she would try to accept this and would read
everything possible on the situation so as to better understand it, but in
the meantime we needed to deal with my problem. She apologized for not
thinking that this could be a driving force that would lead me into such
depression.
To cut this short, she promptly took me shopping and gleaned
items from her own wardrobe to outfit me, then she dressed me and made up
my face. Her comment was that she needed to see this done in stages rather
than have me 'come out' to her all at once fully dressed. We talked
amicably the entire time and this is all going very well. She has allowed
me to dress up whenever I want to, using discretion of course.
I can wear
lingerie under my male clothing and wear nightgowns to bed. Best of all,
we talk about this whenever we want to. That alone is magnificent. The
other part is icing on the cake.
As to my question, where do I go from
here, or better yet where do WE go from here? I don't want to overdo the
dressing or 'binge' to the point of causing her concern that I want to
stay en femme permanently and I want to continue to allow her to grow in
her understanding of this part of my life.
Should we set up some kind of
schedule for my transformations? Should we consider certain days? How is
this best handled? This is a crucial time in her acceptance or rejection
of me. We aren't going out in public although I pass fairly well so our
activities will be within the home. She has asked, "OK, now you're
dressed. What do you do?" Somehow that made me think. I can't cut the
grass this way. Just wandering around the house seems odd without a
purpose. What do other people do in these situations? I would
appreciate any advice or comments that you may have.
Sandy
Wow, how lucky you are and you know it. Your questions are great and the
answers are at your fingertips. Continue talking with her about these
questions. She is going to ask you where you want to go from here . . .
live full time, go out, cut the grass? Actually, I would like to know too.
Deal with your own thoughts first. I sense that you really would go a lot
further than pointlessly wandering about the house (many
cross-dressers would gladly settle for this, but many would not). She may
put limits on what she will accept or she may want you to expand your
movement in this arena very slowly to see if she can expect more.
Counseling is advisable for you and her together and or separately. You
are very fortunate to have such an understanding wife. Keep her in the
"loop!"
Rachael
Halloween is coming up and I am thinking of going to work dressed as a
woman.
I am a quite closeted cross-dresser. To go dressed up to work would
fulfill one of my more exciting fantasies. However, before plunging in
headfirst without testing the waters, I thought it would be smart to seek
your counsel. I work for software company with a pretty loose dress code.
For Halloween several people will come to work in costume, so I would not
be the only one. On the other hand, I present myself at work with a pretty
robust male persona; showing up in a nice skirt and jacket would be quite
a shocking surpirse. My wife is nervous that if I would dress up with the
works (wig, make-up, a nice suit, breasts, etc.) I would be too good
looking to pull it off as just a gag. I don't think I am ready to come out
of the closet at work and I definitely would not want to do anything that
would hurt my chances for promotion within the company. So given this
background, should I celebrate our holiday in a major way or play it safe
and pick a regular male costume?
Greetings,
Paula Braun
ear 
achael,
