"It Ain't Necessarily So"

Gershwin shared the difficult, European-Jewish immigrant heritage of his contemporaries Irving Berlin and Jerome Kern. It might surprise many to learn the Gershwin family did not own a piano until George was 10-years old. He took to the piano immediately, although it had been intended for his brother, and future lyricist, Ira Gershwin.

Piano lessons with local teachers led to George being accepted as a pupil of Charles Hambitzer. Hambitzer was a respected musician. George was 14 years old then, and it was Hambitzer who introduced the musical prodigy to the beauty of classical music.

George dropped out of school at 16 years old to earn a living as a 'song plugger' on Tin Pan Alley. The job entailed endless hours at the piano playing popular songs to promote sale of the sheet music. Gradually, Gershwin began including his songs.

"Porgy and Bess" was George Gershwin's last and greatest composition. The opera included such beautiful songs as "Summertime," "Bess," "You Is My Woman," and "It Ain't Necessarily So." The piece is the only American opera that has proved its ability to live beyond its time and the only one whose music has become widely known.

"Porgy and Bess" opens on Catfish Row in Charleston, South Carolina. The character Jasbo Brown plays the blues for a group of dancers. Clara sings a lullaby to her child ("Summertime"). A drug dealer named Sporting Life, Clara's husband Jake, and some other men play craps. Jake sings his child a lullaby of his own ("A Woman is a Sometime Thing"). The beggar Porgy comes in to join the game. He defends Crown's woman, Bess, of whom the others speak harshly. When Jake accuses Porgy of being soft on Bess, Porgy says that he isn't soft on any woman; God made him a cripple and meant him to be lonely.

George and Ira Gershwin had engaged in a bold experiment: borrowing from the music, language and experiences of African Americans. It was an attempt to capture the essence of the lives of an oppressed race, and present it to an aristocratic audience.

The song "It Ain't Necessarily So" suggests that the human experience is universal and that Fate can curse anyone regardless of race or ethnicity. The character Porgy might represent anyone unfortunate enough to be born different from the majority of the population.

Long Island, New York 1969

At 20 years old, I was still living as a male and had enrolled in a community college. Like many young people of the day, I was intrigued by political movements and the hippie subculture.

Because I lived in my parent's home, it was difficult finding opportunities to cross dress. I had grown quite skilled at putting on makeup and assembling a smart attire. Although I stood 6- feet tall, I had a thin frame and weighed only 145 pounds. My frail physique allowed me to be accepted as a woman quite easily -- at least in terms of outward appearance.

Like any young woman, I kept an eye on fashion. I was aware of the styles and preferences of both conservative young women and those young women more inclined to pursue the philosophy of free love and peace. My preferences was to be less than conservative.

It was 1969, when I met Phil. At first he seemed to be just one of the guys. He was a few years older than most of my friends and had already married.

Phil enjoyed the music of the Temptations, Diana Ross and the Supremes, the Beatles and the Rolling Stones. However, his responsibilities as a family man encouraged a conservative wardrobe and conservatism in other aspects of his life. To Phil, I might have represented the person he might be if he were younger and still single.

Both Phil and I played guitar. It was not unusual for us to find an abandoned area of the campus and just jam. Jamming is a term used by musicians to indicate playing together for the joy of the music rather than to rehearse for a particular performance.

During our jam session, I mentioned that I had been giving some thought to seeing a psychiatrist. I wanted to document a mental illness in the event I was called upon to take a physical examination. My fear was being drafted into the army.

Phil asked what sort of mental illness I would fake. I told him that I'd tell the psychiatrist that I was a transsexual. Being transsexual might not be as effective today as it was in 1969. Surprisingly, Phil was not concerned that I had elected to profess that I was a transsexual, but wondered why -- of all the possibilities -- I had selected being a transsexual.

Thinking back on that day, I can't recall precisely what encouraged me to be so totally honest. He was certainly my closest friend. Yet, it was as difficult to talk about being transsexual in 1969 as it was to talk about being gay -- perhaps more so. Yet, I told him the truth. I told him that I was transsexual and had intended to live full-time as a woman following my graduation from college.

Again to my surprise, Phil announced that he too was transsexual. I found it quite difficult believing him. There was nothing in his appearance or demeanor to suggest he was telling the truth. His eyebrows weren't neatly shaped. His hands weren't shaved, nor his nails neatly tapered and polished. I had never observed even the slightest feminine gesture, nor heard even the slightest feminine inflection in his voice. How could anyone as obviously masculine as Phil be transsexual?

Phil explained that it would be impractical for him to have sex reassignment surgery (SRS). Surgery, he insisted, would not enhance the quality of his life. It would diminish the quality of his life.

"I've seen people like me who have had the surgery," he began. "They don't look like women and they're not accepted as women. They look like halfbacks in a mini-skirt. They become freaks. Who, in their right mind wants to have surgery simply to become a freak and a social outcast."

Phil continued, "I'm no less a woman now that I'd be if I were to have surgery. Except now, my life is undiminished. I have a life with a wonderful woman who loves me as much as I love her. I have a wonderful career and soon I'll have a daughter. I'm to become a parent. What would a sex change do for me at this point in my life? It would alienate a very wonderful and loving woman, disrupt my family, destroy my career, and set me out in the world to be labeled a freak."

I could see by the expression on his face that this had been an issue he had thought out well. He offered no apology.

"Surgery provides cosmetic changes," Phil commented. "That's all surgery does. It's all surgery can do. Some people need to have the surgery regardless of the effect it has on their lives. They are, however, never accepted as women. They become transsexuals. They become that individual who "used to be a man," or who "used to be a woman.""

"If anyone can live that way, I don't have a problem with it. We each have to do what's best for us. I have no right to insist that you live according to my definitions for a man or a woman. However, you have no right to impose your definitions on me. That, my dear friend, is the bottom line."

"What happens to most transsexuals and most cross dressers," he continued, "is that they try to conform to a very closed minded society. Inevitably, it leads to that individual perceiving himself or herself to be the problem. However, the individual was never the problem. The problem was, and might always be, the society. So, why should I be the one forced to believe that I need to be somehow altered?"

Since 1969, I don't know how many men I've met who were actually women. They appeared to be men, but like the song suggests: "It Ain't Necessarily So."

As an African American who lives in America as a woman, I am more than aware that America is a racist and a sexist country filled will enormous prejudices. I can't be real, nor true to myself and believe otherwise. As a sane individual, I must confront reality. Many people prefer not to believe that this reality exists. I have nothing to say to such people. They live in a world of fantasy and my situation doesn't afford me their luxury.

So, to all the male-to-female and female-to male transsexuals in the world, and to all the cross dressers -- drag queens and drag kings alike, I say, be true to yourself. Be proud of who you are and what you do. Define yourself according to your own terms and your own standards. Don't let anyone else define you simply because they've written some book or hold a degree from Harvard, Princeton or Yale. It's you who matters, not them.

I've been writing about gender issues for 38 years, and I'm patiently observing the scholars and the culture move towards a philosophy I've advocated for close to half a century. I must be doing something correctly.

Phil never ingested or injected a drop of female hormones, and never had SRS. Yet, even as a man she was one of the most incrdible women it had ever been my good fortune to meet. She was a woman where it mattered most: in her heart, mind, and soul.

It's not the transgendered community that is destroying society. It's society that is attempting to destroy the transgendered community. So, it should surprise no one that I'm very proud of who am I, what I am, and what I do. I hope that everyone in the transgendered community can say the same. You're among the most diversified, creative and beautiful people on the planet. Please, don't ever allow anyone to tell you anything different.

Dear Reader,

I am a writer and like most writers I live for responses from Readers like you. Please take a few minutes to comment on "The Memoirs of a Trangsendered Lady." Contact me at Dianic@aol.com. Thank you.

Roberta Angela Dee @>~~>~>~~~~