I Resemble That Remark

By Stef Matthews


In my reading about being transgendered I have often come across the two words, FETISH and CROSSDRESSER, used in the same sentence as if to describe each other. For the longest time this had angered me. So much so that I planned on writing a scathing editorial that would forever ban the use of these words in the same paragraph, let alone sentence. Here was my problem; I understand what a crossdresser is; I are one. In my mind I had a mental picture of what a fetishist was: Some man who lives in a basement apartment, collects women's high heels, underwear and other female garments, stored in a foot locker and he pulls them out occasionally to achieve some sinister desire. Well, this bothered me (because I live in a second floor apartment)!

Finally, I did what I should have done long ago. I bought a dictionary (us computer geeks rely on spell checkers, electronic thesaurus and grammar checkers). I intended to use the dictionary's definition to prove that I was not afflicted with the horrible curse called a fetish. I progressed to find the meaning of the evil word and here's what I found:



fetïish (fat, fet) or tete n. 1. An object that is believed to have magical power. 2. Something to which excessive attention or reverence is given: an age in which hygiene has become a fetish. [French fetiche, from Portuguese feitico, charm, sorcery, from Latin factitius, made by art, from facere, to make, do] -Fet'ishïism n.



You could have knocked me over with a feather boa! Here was the term that I had so long been afraid of being associated with and I actually liked the definition. Words like pervert, dirty, disgusting and abhorrent were washed from my mind. In their place were the words magical, reverence, charm and art. I discovered that everything the definition in the dictionary was describing was how I felt about my own transgenderness.

What did I learn? I think I better understand the frame of mind of people who are afflicted with diseases like homophobia and racism. They simply don't know what they don't know. The same applied to me. Although I have never been homophobic or racist, I did the same thing these people do; accept society's definition of a word and base my feelings and attitudes upon my ignorance. Well this simple example serves to prove that everyone can make mistakes. I hope it also shows that we can overcome our mistakes. Sometimes by doing something as simple as opening the dictionary.

Hey, guess what? I'm so happy, I found out that I have a fetish!

Any questions, comments, praises, accolades, credit card numbers, or awards may be sent to Stef Matthews. Grouches, mean people, and whiners need not respond.