It's Great To Be A Transvestite!

Hello,

My name is Sabrina Marcus, and I am a Transvestite.

That's right, Transvestite. I used to like to be called a cross-dresser, but not anymore. Now I want to be known as Sabrina Marcus, Transvestite.

Drama Queen and Big Bitch still apply, just don't call me that cross-dresser word.

Today I am here to speak about and celebrate the transvestite. That fabulously crazy, always horny, sometimes boy, sometimes girl creature that just can't seem to make up his or her mind of what they really want to be.

I will be speaking about the common, everyday, vacuum-the-carpet-in-high-heels, do-the-laundry-in-an-evening-gown, man-who-dresses-as-a-woman, transvestite. There is no disrespect meant to the other wonderful members of our transgender community; its just that I think the time has come to speak on behalf of this large, but misunderstood part of our transgender culture.

I would like to share a little about what being a transvestite is about based on my experiences over the last 25 years, what I have learned, and how, in some ways, I have come full circle to embrace what I had once rejected. I will also be speaking about how proud I am to be a transvestite and why the decision to NOT go all the way does not make one LESS courageous or reflect someone who is only interested in masquerading at a party. And finally, I would like to share with you my some rules for being a Transvestite.

As you know, many of us girls are big and boisterous and can sometimes say things that may be considered offensive. Be forewarned this is definitely one of those times. If your ears are tender, now is the time to leave. But if you choose to stick it out you might learn a few things you did not know, because I plan to say some things that in this community are often left unsaid.

T-R-A-N-S-V-E-S-T-I-T-E-S.

We are doctors, lawyers, farmers, policemen, firemen, insurance agents, drag queens, bar tenders, waiters, airline pilots, tugboat captains, truck drivers, heavy equipment operators, and yes some of us are even computer programmers and engineers.

Oh! How I love the word: T-R-A-N-S-V-E-S-T-I-T-E

Lets do the Mandatory-Keynote-Speech-Dictionary-Lookup

cross-dress, verb
To dress in the clothing characteristic of the opposite sex.

trans-ves-tite, noun
A person who dresses and acts in a style or manner traditionally associated with the opposite sex.

Now, let's look at these at little more closely. First cross-dress:

cross
1. An upright post with a transverse piece near the top, on which condemned persons were executed in ancient times
2. A trial, affliction, or frustration.
3. To extend or pass through or over; intersect:

dress, verb
1a. To put clothes on; clothe.
1b. To furnish with clothing.
2. To decorate or adorn: dress a Christmas tree.
3. To arrange a display in: dress a store window.
4. To arrange (troops) in ranks; align.
5. To apply medication, bandages, or other therapeutic materials to (a wound).

I don't now about you but the picture that enters my mind is some poor Queen Hanging from a crucifix covered in sterile bandages.

Okay, now let's examine transvestite:

trans-, prefix
1. Across; on the other side; beyond: transpolar.
2. Through: transcontinental.
3. Change; transfer: transliterate.
4. Having a pair of identical atoms on opposite sides of two atoms linked by a double bond.

vest, noun
1. A sleeveless garment, often having buttons down the front, worn usually over a shirt or blouse and sometimes as part of a three-piece suit.
2. To invest or endow (a person or group) with something, such as power or rights.

So if I take definition #4 and definition #2 and put them together I picture the breasts of two beautifully seductive, naked twin lesbians, touching each other in a double bond. Embraced in a kiss in a fabulous office on the top of the Twin Towers, and in total control of the entire New York Stock Exchange.

Now I ask you, which would you rather be -- one of the Power Bitch lesbians, or that poor queen hanging from the crucifix with a bunch of tampons hanging out of her ass?

I am a transvestite. And that means I have no restrictions or boundaries placed upon me on what is male or what is female. I have total freedom. Now we all say those words but usually only apply it to the female side of our lives. I am free to wear the clothes I want, or I have the right to use the ladies room when I am dressed. We even enjoy the right to tell stupid men jokes.

And that's OK, but lets start admitting the things we love about being a man. How many of us ever admit that we like being the one who gets away with farting at the table? Or going out golfing with the guys and telling a few dumb blond jokes. And I truly love putting on my best suit on and taking my wife out for dinner and dancing. I'd rather change spark plugs than dirty diapers. I like being the fixit guy. I love being my kids dad. And even though I probably won't get my wife to let me wear a wedding gown to renew our vows, I look forward to the day I might have the honor of walking my daughter down the aisle and dancing with her at her wedding reception. These are guy things, but as a transvestite this is also my right to claim.

I also enjoy having a penis. At one time, I thought I may not want to have a penis, But lately I have begun to embrace it more than I ever have in my entire life.

Are you shocked? That's because you don't usually hear a transvestite speaking about his PENIS. When we sit here at this convention and lunch we deny to ourselves that there are some very male things that we enjoy, but when we are all dressed up we won't admit it.

You may ask what brought on this change of heart. It essentially happened while thinking about the fundamental events of my life.

It was the morning after my first wet dream. To this day I remember exactly what I was dreaming about. I dreamt I was a Radio City Music Hall Rockette.

I mean I was really her. I could see myself in the mirror, touch my face, and watch legs kick-up with the other dancers in the line from one of the dancers point of view. It was as real as any dream could be to the point days later I was still thinking about this strange experience.

Some time had passed and my mother dragged me to the Public Library. Being a gear-head it was not my favorite place to be. I did however enjoy viewing my favorite periodical, Model Railroading. I was looking through the card catalog under T-R-A for Trains when I came across a word I had never seen before.

You guessed it T-R-A-N-S-V-E-S-T-I-T-E. I didn't need a dictionary to know what the word meant. All I could do was stand there frozen. My hands started to sweat, my heart was pounding at about a million miles an hour and I had this enormous bulge in my pants that kept me from moving in any direction for about 5 minutes. Worse yet, I just knew the librarian knew exactly what was going on. It was as if a security alarm behind her desk was now blaring out a warning that someone was looking up the word T-R-A-N-S-V-E-S-T-I-T-E.

Slowly I wrote down the names of the books that contained Transvestite as subject matter when I came across a second word -- TRANSSEXUAL

I didn't know what to do. If TRANSVESTITE had me going for 5 minutes, transsexual would have me hard the rest of the day. I mean I knew what a TRANSSEXUAL was. That was like when Grandpa Munster turned himself into a beautiful blonde, Or when Captain Kirk switched bodies with Dr. Janet Lester on Star Trek, or like in the movie Goodbye, Charlie, where the guy dies and comes back as a woman. Well suffice it to say that I eventually got myself unstuck from the card catalog. But my mother couldn't understand why all of a sudden I wanted to go to the library so much.

I really loved the word transvestite then. I would not admit I was one but I knew it felt really good when I thought about the word.

A few years later a group of friends told me we were going to the midnight movie. It was some horror flick but the cool thing was it started at midnight and didn't get out until 2:30 in the morning. Well, honey, didn't I almost make a mess in my seat when Frank-n-Furter came of that elevator and sang. I'm just a sweet Transvestite.

Notice he didn't call himself a cross-dresser. Cross-dresser just doesn't emit the power of Transvestite

Me, Transvestite? WRONG!

I was a guy who still really got turned on by anything to do with guys in dresses. But I still could not admit I was one. If anything I thought perhaps I was a pervert.

I dressed sporadically for years in woman's clothing after that experience, but it wasn't until I left the house at age 25 that I could finally come to terms with who and what I was.

Ater I finished school I decided I wanted to work at the Kennedy Space Center. So I packed my car and left New York City for Florida. I had not even made it out of New Jersey before I stopped and bought a wig. I was out of the house and I was going to do whatever I wanted. So, I stopped in the next state and bought something else, and in the next state and the next. By the time I arrived in Florida, I had acquired a complete wardrobe secure in the knowledge that those people in those other states would never see me again.

Now I knew I was a Transvestite, but I associated the word with that compulsive sickness that makes you crazy. I would call in sick to work for days at a time just so I could sit around the house in a dress. I also started to resent things that being a man implied. Why doesn't anyone open the door for me? Why can't someone take me out to eat and say I look pretty? Why doesn't someone bring me flowers on my birthday?

Maybe we don't like the word transvestite because it was the thing we really had to admit to being in the first place. Cross-dresser is a healthy person who has a perfect complexion, and does not suffer the mania referred to above.

As I grew in my transgender-self I experimented with the many avenues afforded to me. Some of you know Christina Young who used to live here in Atlanta. Christina always said this gender journey was like being on a train and you could get off at any stop along the way and stay there if you liked it. Following Christina's recommendations I would get off the train at every stop. I tried hormones, electrolysis, etc. but nothing really gave me the satisfaction I desired. I even went into something I call Gender Recession. That's when you put away the clothes for a while but do not toss them in the trash. You now you are comfortable with being a crossdresser, but you let the hair grow back on your legs and see how long you can go before shaving. However, still I was not fullfilled.

That brings me to where I am today.

My wife recently went back to work and now I have to take on responsibilities that I didn't have before. Suddenly, I find fulfillment in my family: being Dad, doing scouting, going fishing with the kids, taking them to play soccer, helping them with their homework, making diner for my wife.

I started to realize that as a transvestite these were my rights also. I still love to cross-dress but I want to be known as a Transvestite. It is because it was this word that has opened the doors in my life more than any other

So with that I have come up with some rules that I now live by. I call them:

The Ten Transvestite Commandments:

1- Thou shall not wear they wife's clothing

2 - Thou shall not make a mess in thy wives panties

3 - Thou shall not take thy Transsexual sister's name in vane. Enough with the bashing from both sides. Of course, we all know the second of the 2 Transsexual Commandments is Thou shall not take thy transvestite sister name in vain. Why only two? Well, after all that surgery one is practically perfect. Did someone ask what is the first transsexual commandment? Thou shall not wear makeup or dresses.

4 -Thou Shall not charge thy girl clothes on Visa or Mastercard. Thou shall pay with cash and try not to get into $5000 worth of debt

5 - Thou shall not pee standing up. Nothing more needs to be said here except that it only applies when you are in drag or also happen to have to go # 2

6 - Thou shall not dwell on passing. The happiest day in your life is getting out the big hair and outrageous pumps

7 - Honor thy lesbian and gay brother and sisters. We are all in this thing together

8 - Thou shall not wear clothes two sizes two small

9 - Thou shall not speak or sing in Falsetto

10 - Thou shall not lie to yourself.

Its Ok to be who you are. My friend, Ellen, from California says and I quote: "It's my belief, that one will never achieve the true heights of real life womanhood, unless one takes all of one's self, and molds that into a coherent whole. Attempts to bury the male side of a personality are just as doomed to failure as attempts to bury the female side were. And, the false notes struck by an imperfect attempt to mimic some sort of external ideal such as "womanhood" will destroy one's credibility. Because, while other people might not be able to see through the "perfect passer", they can sense that a person is acting falsely, and that is just as damaging as whipping' yer dick out an' layin' it on 'em."

Sabrina Marcus is a member of the board of directors of the Southern Comfort Conference. She gave this keynote speech at the Saturday luncheon, October 4, 1997