How-To

Bobbi Swan

Ask Ms. Bobbi
How To Write A Well-Written Letter

Several years ago I wrote an article for JoAnn Roberts', LadyLike magazine that brought me a world of favorable mail and developed some wonderful friendships. I had written a letter to JoAnn as editor and complained about the vast amount of very poorly written and trashy replies I'd received from personal contact ads. She, in turn, confessed to the same and suggested I do an article for her on the subject of writing letters and answering ads. I did as she suggested and it was published in a few months along with several photos of me. I was blessed with marvelous returns, although that had not been my intent. The message was clear: Write a worthy letter and you will get the same or better in return. Why? Because you made yourself attractive and showed off your skills and maybe even a bit of personality! Those were the days before the Internet and most of us were buying and reading magazines from adult book stores and following leads to meet others like ourselves. It's not a lot different now with Email -- except that good penmanship is not critical. Like many, mine's not so good, so I always used to type my letters. I graduated to a word processor and that was a big help in turning out a more perfect document. Now, with Email it's all on screen from the keyboard and carelessness here can be tragic. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

If you were meeting a date -- or going for a business interview -- you'd look your best wouldn't you? As a matter of fact, you'd probably take a lot of time and thought in how you might dress -- planning that well in advance. Most likely you would have had your hair done, manicured those fingers and if you were going en femme, done your makeup very carefully. A clean shaven face would have preceded either you that was coming out!

Just because you may be hiding behind a computer monitor in jeans doesn't mean that the person you are writing too can't see you. They will be reading your message carefully -- at least we hope carefully. And it won't be read that way unless it is attractive. How, you say, can Email be attractive? Many ways. (Here's where I still love letters -- the envelope starts the impression and how the letter unfolds gives the first insight to the writer. Remember, you are trying to set an impression of yourself. In the days of letter writing to the PO Boxes I'd often open an envelope and find a scrap of note-paper and a few lines of scrawled writing asking to meet. Wonder why we junked them immediately?)

If you are answering an ad -- or hoping to meet a new friend from their web pages -- start with a clever entry into the subject line. On AOL now, I junk more than 90% of my mail without reading it. Unfortunately most are junk ads that are obvious -- but I'm sure I've missed a few that read 'none' or just 'you' or had one of those addresses that were cryptic. If I find new mail that indicates a crossdresser addressee, I jump at those like CherylTV or if the subject read something like: 'You looked nice in your web'. These might even get a download and printout so that I could study them more at a better time. Most people are pretty much rushed when they scan a big screen of mail -- and the very person that you might want to meet or impress most likely has a lot of mail to pour through. So, get off to a good start, take the time to do a good job. A careless one is wasted anyhow.

Now, what to put into that letter or Email message? Put yourself into it -- just as if you were meeting someone for the first time. Look your best; if you've got a good photo, use it. But use one that keeps the file small for downloading and viewing. That means a JPEG (xxx.jpg) most times. It's the smallest size and most everybody can view them -- on AOL it's automatic unless it comes from an Internet Service Provider (ISP) that does not handle attachments well. (Get a good ISP with a local phone number -- AOL is fine but some like Netcom can be even better for Email and can take more than a single attachment at a time.) And, don't tell me you don't have a photo of some kind if you want one of mine. There is plenty of scanning capability out there now at a most reasonable price. (I scan any that subscribers want, free of charge, if they'll help with postage -- and return the photos the day they arrive.)

So, now, there's a photo, you need to do more. Start that first paragraph introducing yourself. Tell them a little bit to start. Not a history, just a few tidbits to say, "Hello, I'm Bobbi and I'm a crossdresser that has ..... and I love....... My favorite..... is .... and I saw you -- or of you -- and wanted to ......"

That's a good start and try to put yourself in your reader's place looking at the screen. You want to catch that person's attention and make her/him like what they see and want to read on.

Get your spelling down perfectly. We've all got spelling checkers now and we know when you don't use them. It will tell how much the message meant to the sender. Sincerity will show and, honestly, I don't believe in playing games with correspondents I want to meet and keep. Sure, we have a lot of fun, fetish and fantasy. That's part of the TV world we live in and most of us can't do without it.

But, if we want to meet someone later, let's be straight up in the beginning. Married or single, in or out of the closet and what's our reason for wanting friendship. I'm not one on the lookout for sex in my mail, but many are. No matter what, this is a dangerous place to mislead. I love erotic and exciting tales and stories or crossdressing as do many others, but I'm looking for more than four letter "slam bam, thank you ma'am" prose. A titillating approach here goes far and makes for long time correspondence.

That leads me into how to respond to someone you might like to consider as a Mistress. All that I've written here applies -- even with more importance. Great Mistresses (like those featured in OUR WAY) can be barraged with Email. If you want yours to stand out, follow all this advice and make it very easy for her to return your mail. If and when she does, don't sit on it, respond promptly. And if you begin to receive returns, be courteous to each and at least answer them. Too many who place personal ads do not respond themselves. Don't be one of them. You give us all a bad reputation. A favorite gripe of mine is the poor response I've been getting from personal ads (the TGF personal ads have been a disappointment). The rule here must be that if you make any posting, respect it and respond or cancel the item. That's etiquette, and that is what this is all about. Have courtesy and feeling with your mail. I call it the mirror effect -- you get back what you project of yourself!

There are now worlds of crossdressers out there. The Internet is blossoming with ourselves as we all come out of our closets in the cyber world. Individual web sites have and are blooming on a daily basis with beautiful makeup and skill. Browse in this world to your heart's content, safe and sound in the privacy of your bedroom, den or office. Share your innermost thoughts and feelings in a manner never heard of five years ago. And, meet personally when the conditions are matured with your new confidants.

Just remember to look your best -- it's YOU we are looking at and first impressions do count!!